back to article Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Brussels has given its blessing to a Westminster scheme which will grant generous tax breaks to small video game production firms which pass a controversial "cultural test". The European Commission launched an enquiry into the government's tax plans last year because it didn't think the booming games industry really needed a …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Blowhard

    "Milk Float Simulator" anyone?

    'nuff said.

  2. cyborg

    Eastenders Game

    Clearly either:

    *) Pub management simulator - try to keep ownership of The Vic for more than a month.

    *) Dating Sim - just how complicated can the familial relationships get between the incestuous members of Albert Square?

    *) Get Me To Manchester - how quickly can you get yourself into a situation where the only recourse is to leave for Manchester?

    1. davidp231

      Re: Eastenders Game

      "Get me to Manchester"

      And star in Coronation Street. Who either end up going abroad or to London...

      1. cyborg

        Re: Eastenders Game

        Coronation Street game options:

        *) Mini Cab simulator - can you scrape by on the meager takings from the mini cab? Manage your money so you have enough to enjoy in the Rovers - but don't have too much or you won't be able to drive!

        *) Factory Simulator - I'm seeing this like Skool Daze where you try to do as little work as possible, gossip - and go to the Rovers.

        *) Find the Cat - where is that ginger tabby? Think Where's Waldo but wandering around Corrie.

      2. h4rm0ny

        Re: Eastenders Game

        I don't watch either Coronation Street or Eastenders, but do they ever do cross-overs? I think they should do cross-overs. It would be like Avengers Assemble.

    2. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Eastenders Game

      An Eastenders Diner Dash game actually sounds quite a good idea.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Eastenders Game

        Silent Hill: Milton Keynes edition

  3. Thomas Gray

    Oooh Matron

    I could go for a Carry On... inspired MMORPG. Perhaps it could also crowdsource a solution to the problems of the NHS, thus delivering a double whammy?

    1. EddieD

      Re: Oooh Matron

      Me too - or possibly "Total Warfare - Dad's Army edition"

      1. Robert Grant Silver badge

        Re: Oooh Matron

        I think Dad's Army would work better as a tower defence game.

      2. Ben Rosenthal

        Re: Oooh Matron

        Don't tell 'im your registered email address!

  4. Gordon Pryra

    British Culture?

    Is this not an easy test to pass?

    No matter where the game is set, we either gave them straight roads at some point or we stopped the Hun from taking them over.

    1. smudge

      Re: British Culture?

      And who do you think gave us straight roads?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: British Culture?

        "And who do you think gave us straight roads?"

        I think you missed Gordon's point. Which is funny, since it seems to be an example of British Culture itself ... :P

    2. Soruk

      Re: British Culture?

      > we stopped the Hun from taking them over.

      Bletchley Park: The Ultimate Turing Test.

      Build Your Own Bombe. (Be VERY careful how you spell that, especially when going near aircraft)

  5. Uffish


    First person morris dancing.

  6. tony2heads

    grand theft auto -Lambeth?

    or maybe legends of Essex

    bloody stupid idea in my opinion

    1. Shrimpling

      Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

      GTA London 1969 is the best game in the series... A modern remake would get my vote.

      1. cyborg
        Thumb Up

        Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

        Given the scope of the latest titles I really don't think a full reproduction of London would be technically unfeasable.

        1. VinceH

          Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

          ISTR a driving game called The Getaway on the PS3 (or possibly the PS2) being set in London - and it was pretty good, if memory serves. (I probably still have it, somewhere).

          So despite the mickey taking, there are existing games that would have qualified if they were being written now.

      2. Peter Simpson 1

        Re: grand theft auto -Lambeth?

        Be sure to pick your target vehicle carefully. The game will only allow you to actually start hotwired cars with ignition systems manufactured by someone other than Lucas...

        // Prince of Darkness icon?

  7. John Bailey


    A survival horror game..

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Croydon

      "A survival horror game.."

      Where the horror *is* surviving, I take it?

      1. John Bailey

        Re: Croydon

        Nobody knows........

    2. Amorous Cowherder

      Re: Croydon

      Why bother with the game, simply save your money for the number 159 night bus with me on a Friday evening from Oxford Circus!

  8. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Good for FPSes

    After you shoot the enemy in the foot they apologise to you for getting shot.

  9. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge


    The original British computer game success and what sums up British culture more than "elite"?

    Alternatively - rewrite "frogger" with badgers where the aim is to get squashed

    1. nickq

      Re: Elite?

      Already in progress! Check out Frontier's website.

      Looking forward to that release.

  10. Peter2 Silver badge

    Perhaps it's intended to fight the total cultural conquest the bloody yanks have been allowed to pull off due to the death of British film and the fact that British games are basically carbon copies of american ones. I think you'd be hard pushed to find much difference other than the accent between British and American kids these days.

    As an example of what could be done in retaliation:- A Dr Who game (very popular franchise, even in the US) which visits past events that the American's have re-written in the popular imagination via hollywood and while the characters play through the plot unfolds it shows what actually happened other than the hollywood history. This is valuable because kids don't read history books to find out what actually happened, and assume that the Americans actually base their games and media on something approaching truth.

    Other cultural counterattacks could easily be mounted along similar lines.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    War games.....

    Anything involving bashing Germans, would pass this test...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: War games.....

      excuse me? we've only bashed germans a couple of times in the last hundred years. up until then we've been on pretty good terms with them.

      no. we bash the french. we always have done, we always will do. even when we were bashing germans, we took time out to give the french a sly kick in the ass, on the pretence we were stopping the germans from stealing their stuff and a lot of french ships suddenly sank with their crews still on them. we've bashed the french and they've bashed us back for nearly a THOUSAND years and it isn't going to change EVER.

      i'm looking for funding for my new game, where the object is to buy up loads of nearly abandoned french villages and open up greasy fish and chip shops in them, while avoiding crazed tractor-driving, garlic breathing zombies armed with rotten onions and incomprehensible black and white films. any donations?

      anon for obvious reasons, i don't want to be beaten to death with stale french bread sticks, tyvm.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: War games.....

        "excuse me? we've only bashed germans a couple of times in the last hundred years. up until then we've been on pretty good terms with them."

        I think we have the opportunity to do both. Our modern culture involves bashing the Krauts, and the culture in our DNA over thousands of years involves bashing the Frogs. Both are vibrant, living trends, readily exemplified in recent British art - for example Flushed Away was suitably Franco-phobic, and Chicken Run equally respectful to our German friends, yet doing so masterfully, without a single German accent.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: War games.....

          I'm German and I'm all for bashing the french in video games.

          But remember, the Brits never actually bashed the Germans in a meaningful way. The land of the brits would've been destroyed in WW1 and 2 were it not for Burger King land from overseas.

          Here in Germany we have this saying: "Das Leben ist kein Frankreichfeldzug" (Roughly translated it means "Life isn't easy"). And as is well known in every realm: German's don't get humor. We might just start our own culture checklist!

          1. Elmer Phud

            Re: War games.....

            " The land of the brits would've been destroyed in WW1 and 2 were it not for Burger King land from overseas."

            What, no mention of them damned Russkies who Hun got so annoyed with they went a bit Harpic and spunked loads and loads of peeps and stuff on?

            'Kin Merkins were just a bunch of wasteful show-offs (so my Dad told me) who decided that they just had to use a second nuke as they had one hanging about doing nothing.

    2. Soruk

      Re: War games.....

      > Anything involving bashing Germans, would pass this test...

      Your very own Torquay Hotel simulator. Choose to play the part of Basil, Sybil or Manuel. Bonus points can be awarded for annoying the German tourists.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: War games.....

        "Your very own Torquay Hotel simulator. Choose to play the part of Basil, Sybil or Manuel. Bonus points can be awarded for annoying the German tourists."

        Don't mention the war! I did; I think I got away with it!

  12. Valeyard

    Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel TWOC* 6

    (*taken without owner's consent)

    1. Flawless101

      Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

      Would Grand Theft Auto - Northern Ireland get the relief?

      One such enterprising individual has prototyped the idea.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

        GTA NI?

        Now the real map would suit the usual Rockstar game mechanic of limiting you to part of the map for the first part of the game, as (unless the situation has changed in the last 5 or so years), there are only a couple of bridges over the river bann(its a river that flows north from lough Neagh to the north coast, basically separating Derry/Londonderry from Belfast).

        Would the gaming community appreciate a game that, if rendered accurately, most common crimes are bulldozing ATMs and breaking into old peoples homes and assaulting/raping/stealing at four in the morning.

        As for Police problems (Officer Tenpenny, anyone) se this

        1. Elmer Phud

          Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

          Still a need to get the ferry out to Glasgow.

          Packages to deliver and that . . .

    2. LesC

      Re: Rockstar to announce next GTA sequel

      TWOC*6 Road Wars Edition.

      Set in Slough / Bracknell / Reading / wherever

      Narrated by Lee Boardman.

      Now that would be some game....

  13. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Have you read the rules?

    They give points (you need 16 to get the cash) for games sited in Britain OR IN ANY EU COUNTRY.

    A game pushing French, German or Belgian 'culture' would qualify...

    1. Jason Hindle

      Oh, so....

      U Boat Commander would also qualify.....

      1. Aldous

        Re: Oh, so....

        Also any wargame and any CIV style game as after all we took over 2/3rds of the planet at the end of a rifle at one point. Chuck in SimCity style games as all the EU countries did a lot of building to go along with the colonizing.

        Lets see football,rugby,F1, MotoGP and cricket are covered in the UK & EU by large fan bases so thats culturally significant. Flight sims are in as aviation is a big field for Europe and shaped our culture (by importing it from the USA and flying people out to places), anything with boats is also a big one.

        Right whats left? Driving games should be fine, hard to argue EU manufacturers have not had an impact on culture. Anything involving crime should also be fine as the way that is handled impacts a country's culture significantly. Sci-fi, Horror etc all EU members have some form of home grown scene.

        Erm there has got to be genre's it doesn't apply to but surely you can twist anything into being "culturally significant" when you kind of need that anyway to have a market for the game in the first place? Even "South American Taxi Driver Simulator 2014" would sell within the EU (but the link for funding is a bit tenuous)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      lots of starting material here then?

  14. Hasham

    Boudicca: Total War

    I'm imagining wearing a Rift, while riding a chariot and scything Roman soldiers in two. I'm also imagining looking down at my boobs as they bounce from the rough terrain.

    After the battle, of course...

    1. Amorous Cowherder

      Re: Boudicca: Total War

      Yeah but then the arguments would start about how to pronounce her name! Those of us who were taught to pronounce it "bo-de-sia" or those who say "boo-dee-ka".

  15. smudge

    Sim Scotland

    You are a bumptious leader of a Scottish Government, with a trusty sidekick. (Note to games devs - give them some funny names for the younger players - fish, for example.)

    The game starts off with an independence referendum whose result is not pre-determined.

    Then, depending on the result, you have to try to continue to govern Scotland and keep it solvent, regardless of whether it is independent or not. You have to negotiate with the evil government of your neighbour, Etonia, for money and other resources, and you have to get yourself re-elected every four years.

    The game is open-ended, but there are various scenarios which will bring it to a halt:

    - you lose an election

    - nuclear catastrophe at Dounreay or Faslane

    - the Etonians invade and successfully capture Edinburgh (although there is an alternative scenario in which the game starts with them already there, and you have to drive them out)

    - you sell the country to a consortium led by Bernie Ecclestone, a Russian oligarch and the Emir of Qatar.

    Overall design concept: Charles Rennie Mackintosh

    Artwork: Allan Ramsay (people) and William McTaggart (landscapes)

    Storylines: Sir Walter Scott and Irvine Welsh

    Music: The Peatbog Faeries, Susan Boyle, and the Shotts and Dykehead Caledonia Pipe Band.

    A Wee Eck Production.

    1. tabman
      Thumb Up

      Re: Sim Scotland

      "A Wee Eck Production"

      Brilliant, who's the leader though? Fat Boab or Daphne Broon?

    2. cyborg

      Re: Sim Scotland

      I assume one of the disaster scenarios is all the whisky stills exploding.

  16. This post has been deleted by its author

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    GTA VII Hull Edition

    GTA VII Hull Edition - With a lower skant distribution rate that real Hull.


    Last Of Us - Hull Set 20 years after the apocalyptic event it still looks a more desirable place to live than the Hull of today

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about a fun Eastenders action game?

    Stopping oligarchs buying up all the houses in Albert Square?

  19. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    I'm sorry but am I the only one who thinks this is an utter waste of MY money that could have been spent on hospitals and doctors and no-win-no-fee lawyers' legal aid money to sue the NHS and all that other tosh the media spout?

    If a 'british game' gets a tax break why not British umbrellas, British Beef, British shoes, British parsnips, British condoms, British bombers, British pregnancies?

    There's a stink in the tax department ... Revolt I say!

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      I suspect we'd get more jobs from £35m if we spent it paying people to dig holes and fill them in again. Or just paying them to fill in the handily pre-created holes in the roads - allowing us to credibly stage GTA: Race to the Bottom.

    2. JDX Gold badge

      It's not YOUR money. It stops being yours as soon as you give it to the friendly folks at HMRC.

      1. Amorous Cowherder

        "It's not YOUR money. It stops being yours as soon as you give it to the friendly folks at HMRC."

        Yes but as a voter I'm still entitled to have a say in how the big pot of cash is wasted!

  20. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Eastenders - the Game.

    But I thought that extreme and violent porn was illegal?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Eastenders - the Game.

      "But I thought that extreme and violent porn was illegal?"

      I think for it to be illegal it has to be for the sexual gratification of the accused. So, according to the CPS own guidelines, if the scene is in a film subject to BBFC classifcation, then it allowed. However, "The exclusion does not apply in respect of images contained within extracts from classified films which must reasonably be assumed to have been extracted solely or principally for the purposes of sexual arousal. "

      So you see, the ugly harridans behind this law are happy so long as it is not enjoyed, but enjoying it makes it a crime. More of the sort of shit headed law making that this country has been subject to for many decades now.

  21. localzuk Silver badge

    British Military?

    Everyone seems to be joking about British culture, but there's plenty of scope for culturally British games.

    Look at GTA London...

    More seriously, there are bucket loads of FPS games that focus on US military tactics and structures, which is very different to the British military.

    So, I can see this being a good incentive for some British fun!

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: British Military?

      I have an idea - "Rorke's Drift", combining the elements of tower defence, real time strategy and shoot-dem-up. Oh. Maybe not that one...

      1. Elmer Phud

        Re: British Military?

        How about an earlier version of the current business in the Crimea . .

        Oh, hang on a bit.

        Alright then 'Dunquerke - Escape to Victory'?

        1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

          Re: British Military?

          Well, what about "Battle of Jutland: Crossing the T"?

          You take your post on the bridge of the dashing battlecruiser Indefatigable... Err, no, let's say - Invincible. Ah, no, scratch this. You are the captain of the Queen Mary and... Oh, crap! There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: British Military?

            "There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today."

            There certainly was, and with our shells. But a tactical defeat became a strategic victory, which was crucial in throttling Germany's economy and ending WW1. I'm rather proud that a relative of mine was a stoker on the Grand Fleet. 'course, that was in the days when our Navy actually had more than a pitiful number of ships. These days if we did something like the Zeebrugge raid we'd find we had no Navy left.

            1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

              Re: British Military?

              I would not call that a defeat though - the High Seas Fleet was stopped, turned back and never went out into the Atlantic theatre again... Battlecruiser losses, yes, they were high, but largely self-inflicted through incautious propellant drills, not through tactical mistakes or the lack of fighting spirit.

              "I'm rather proud that a relative of mine was a stoker on the Grand Fleet."

              So you should be, by right!

  22. MJI Silver badge

    Some ideas

    Well I have played a few with British cast, and also UC3 had a section in London which was fun.

    The Motorstorm series although set around the world had a LOT of Britishness in it, one of my favourite vehicles was based on a Bowler Wildcat, and the titles for Pacific Rift feature one of the Invincible class carriers.

    I also theatened a boy who got stupid by mocking up the cover of an Eastenders game complete with Playstation logos, and telling him it would be his next and only game.

    1) X-Factor First Person Shooter, where you shoot crap singers and Cowell.

    2) SAS stealth shooter, you play as an SAS member.

    3) An open world car game with European cars and you drive on the LEFT (Imagine Burnout Paradise with British and European exotica and you do not head on crash every thirty seconds), suggest idealised country A Roads, surrounding a modern city dual carriageways.

    4) A tank game where you drive a Challenger 2 in the desert and wipe out all oncomers.

    5) Eastenders FPS, in fact an FPS of any soap

    6) 1980s cop game where you play a cop based on Gene Hunt.

    I will think of more

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Some ideas

      "you play as an SAS member."

      That sounds like a small, short game with nothing to do.


      The Paras.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How easy to pass the test? Do alien games qualify?

    Has anyone looked at the test? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you could get most of the points without any Britishness involved (and little reference to European culture(s) either):

    A (ii) - 3 points for "undetermined location" e.g. space

    B (i) - 4 points if lead characters from undetermined location e.g. aliens

    D 4 points if mainly in English (most games already do all dialog in English)

    6 - up to 8 points if staff are 'qualifying persons'. I guess this means EEA citizens? So as long as the game is done mainly in EEA it doesn't have to be very cultural at all? In fact, the project lead, composer and scriptwriters could all be Americans (or Chinese) provided the rest of the team worked in any European country - and then the proposed alien game (or fantasy or abstract angry-birds rip-off game) qualifies for a full 16 points.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Something involving tea and queueing

    ... "Tea shop manager" ? You are the manager of a small but very popular tea shop. Can you make enough tea and scones for everyone, and keep the queue moving without it all resorting to a ruckus.

    1. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: "Tea shop manager"

      This sounds perfect for a tie-in with popular IP. We have a great culture of kids TV in this country ripe for exploitation. A "Big Cook Little Cook: Scone in 60 seconds" game would go gangbusters.


      The Wombles - isometric resource management game

      What's The Story: Balamory - murder mystery puzzle game

      Plants Vs Zombies: Bill & Ben edition

      Andy Pandy: Modern Warfare

      Someone get Tony Hall on the phone, we're going to be rich!

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Something involving tea and queueing

      "make enough tea and scones for everyone"

      Game Of Scones?

      (works best if you pronounce Scones in a posh namby pamby southern English accent)

  25. Lottie

    World of Warcraft

    Wrath of the Lichfield King

  26. wowfood


    Wonder if you could get away with making any game which uses a VR headset. Maybe several small games, and in thsoe games you could have a menu where you're on the VR deck from Red Dwarf. And when you die you take off the headset in the game, but you're still in the game.

    You could even sell a groinial attachment to go with it.

  27. ukgnome

    Grand Theft Tesco

    see title

    1. h4rm0ny

      Re: Grand Theft Tesco

      Or Grand Theft Marks and Spencers. Where they rob you.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    Two words:

    "Dan Dare"

  29. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Grand theft Guildford.

    No real criminal elements. Just upper middle class twits pretending to be "gangsta".

  30. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Queue simulator...

    For those that can't queue enough.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Queue simulator...

      Manage that level and you get to 'Self-Service Till!'

      Can you complete the task without:

      Calling an assistant without looking like a twat.

      Get through the entire scanning level without goiing 'It's in the fucking bagging area!"

      Find out where you're supposed to put the credit card.

  31. Jonathan Richards 1

    Sixty three comments... I write, and nobody has pointed out Sir, You Are Being Hunted.

    Sir, You Are Being Hunted is a procedurally-generated first-person game of stealth and survival set in a very British world where robots hunt humans for sport. You must use your wits and possibly a flask of tea to stay alive.

    Deerstalker FTW!

  32. Peter Simpson 1

    Chav designer?

    ...see how many different objects you can decorate with the Burberry plaid design

    // there seems to be no Burberry icon?

  33. Toltec

    Game of Thrones

    Plot to take control of all of the UK's water supplies and sewage disposal companies from the comfort of your French château.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Game of Thrones

      Cheeky - that game finished years ago.

      There's one now about closing schools and giving them to American Hedge Funds.

      From the same stable as 'I See No NHS'

  34. The elephant in the room

    Daily Mail Reader blood pressure survival game

    Guide a reactionary Middle Englander through a town centre full of imigrants on benefits, gay weddings, modern art, skateboarders, yoghurt bars, young people not looking where they are going while texting, young people playing loud music in Vauxhall Corsas, young people loitering in the park, young people wearing hoodies, young people pushing prams and so on, without their blood pressure rising to head-exploding levels. Collect beta-blockers and Franklin Mint china power-ups.

  35. The elephant in the room

    Point & click paedo hunt

    beard <click>

    beard <click>

    taking a photo at a school play <click>

    used to be on childrens tv <click>

    dog collar <click>

    gold shell suit <click>

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    If making games about Slough will be subsidised, I propose a version of the old "Blitz" computer game:-

    It'll be called "Come, Friendly Bombs" and be lovingly ripped off from^w^w^w "inspired by" the John Betjeman poem. Of course, being Slough, there won't be many tall buildings, so it'll be quite easy to level.

  37. Dave Bell

    This has some easy elements

    One of the rules gives you four points for recording the game-dialogue mostly in English.

    How about the original version of The Italian Job?

    I recall a BBC series from the 70s called Gangsters.

    You can get a good few points just from UK-based creation and production. And Lara Croft is a British character, so it isn't hard to add points there.

    It needs a little care, but totting up 16 points doesn't look to need the obvious and slightly risible suggestions.

  38. All names Taken


    Ther az ti bee an'ovis option.

  39. Captain DaFt

    In all seriousness

    Could this get someone updating classics like these:

    Or this?:


    Or this?:

    (Yes, I have odd tastes in video games.)

  40. John Tserkezis

    What's the bet some bastardised version of Candy Crush is going to submitted for approval - and pass?

    Remember, Mcdonalds (the "food" place) passed Australia's Heart Foundation tick of approval a couple of years ago. No, their "food" hasn't magically gotten better, just everyone else's standards have gotten worse.

  41. MarcusArt

    The tax relief is very much needed. It's hard to compete with Canada, Finland, China, German and many other countries let alone the USA for business. Independent games studios are developing some really innovative gaming experiences and narratives against an industry which has actually suffered a lot of companies going to the wall or being gobbled up by the larger publishers. THQ - gone along with some other great names. The rules to pass the test may be... European, but is anyone in the UK going to argue against this place being a leading and furtive ground for great games companies?

  42. Scroticus Canis

    Given the UK's current cultures a few titles come to mind...

    London Streets - Yardies v. Jihadis

    Essex Excess - Chavs v. Travellers

    Corrupt Britain - Bankers and Bonuses v. Members of Parliament and Expenses

    Death Wish UK - NHS Hospitals v. The Patients

  43. Sarah Balfour

    Operation Greendale

    Pat fights to keep himself in a job, whilst simultaneously fighting to keep the Greendale PO open in the wake of savage govt cuts… and saving Ted from being put out to pasture by savage cuts to EU subsidies and Tesco price cuts.

    A Red Dwarf adventure game would be good. Or how's about one of those promotion-type sims based at the Daily Mail…? You're awarded points for outrageous celeb paps, totally fabricated stories, all the while trying to keep from being sued. Or you're Clarkson, attempting to get away with offending as many types of people as possible, without landing the Beeb with - yet another (multi) million-quid lawsuit and, therefore keeping your job.

    Brain isn't functioning today, so I'm not able to come up with much…

  44. M Gale


    High concept:

    Try to maintain your lavish lifestyle (and duck pond (and porn subscription)) using your expenses account, all while trying to avoid public scrutiny and nosy reporters in this virtual Houses of Parliament game.

    Game style: Mixed. Some point and click adventure, some driving, some reaction games, some puzzles.


    Use Ace Detective-style sequences in the Commons in order to sway the house into voting for measures that allow you to maintain the income that you so obviously deserve, all while keeping the details of your expenses from those pesky activists.

    GTA-style sequences where you attempt to get from point A to point B whilst being pursued by paparazzi. You have a prostitute with her lips in your lap, and the idea is to get to point B whilst keeping your Public Outrage star-count low. If the photographers make it back with compromising pictures, your public outrage meter goes up. If you avoid the photographer or flatten them before they make it back, you get away with it.

    You may start as a Lord, MP or Bishop. Each character class has some kind of failing that must be kept from the public at all costs. Either £800/roll wallpaper and a penchant for solid gold bog seats, a dope habit, or perhaps a relationship with one of the other class's preteen daughter depending on which class you choose.

    MInigames include a steady-hand game where you have to try to evenly divide an 8-ball of coke into separate lines. Points rewarded for even distribution and number of lines tapped out. There's also a reaction game where you control a dominatrix spanking your character in time to music, DDR or Rock Band style.

  45. Grikath

    Civ: Great Britain

    You start with a thriving international empire at the pinnacle of it's power, and have to develop it to the state the nation is in today.

    Would be highly educational...

  46. Moosh

    "Key industry of the future"?

    It's a key industry of the now you out of touch loon. It's been a key industry for decades. This is the definition of missing the boat.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like