Terminator-maker 'Cyberdyne Inc' lists on Tokyo stock exchange

El Reg readers of a more fatalistic disposition may be dismayed, but probably not surprised, to hear that Cyberdyne - the company that invented Skynet and ultimately the murderous "Terminator" machines - has just listed on the Tokyo stock exchange. Of course, it’s not the shadowy defence firm of the iconic Arnie films, which …

[Anonymous Coward]

The search for John Connor...

... starts now.

[Destroy All Monsters]

Re: The search for John Connor...

Unfortunately you cannot buy the evilly black assault weapons in the California anymore.

[Proud Father]

Oh shit

I, for one, welcome our new Skynet overlord.

[tony2heads]

@Proud Father

then please report to our human processing facility

[Lionel Baden]

Re: Oh shit

@proud father

double trouble... Machines can tell your lying now !!!

[Chairo]

"this one is a maker of exoskeleton “suits” and supports designed to help those with serious muscular, nerve or cerebral damage recover movement."

They would say that, wouldn't they?

[Zed Zee]

It's only a matter of time.

The reason they're currently only doing exoskeletons is because the Terminator has not come back in time yet and they haven't gotten hold of its 'revolutionary' microprocessor, in order to build the Skynet in the first place...as Sarah Connor says: "God. A person could go crazy thinking about this stuff."

[Destroy All Monsters]

HAL ... evil AI creation.

Unlike HR managers and practically all politicians, HAL was not evil, just confused. He was ordered to lie and couldn't.

Somewhat on-topic, has anyone admired the 100% progressively truthy speech of Mr Obama in Brussels?

Moreover, Russia has pointed to America’s decision to go into Iraq as an example of Western hypocrisy. Now, it is true that the Iraq war was a subject of vigorous debate, not just around the world but in the United States, as well. I participated in that debate, and I opposed our military intervention there.

But even in Iraq, America sought to work within the international system. We did not claim or annex Iraq’s territory. We did not grab its resources for our own gain. Instead, we ended our war and left Iraq to its people in a fully sovereign Iraqi state that can make decisions about its own future.

[Zed Zee]

Re: HAL ... evil AI creation.

Unfortunately, he forgot to mention two very important points:

1. US/UK went over the head of the UN, stating that they did not need any further resolutions and now the UN has a broken credibility in the world, and that's why you see the US now leading such crisis, rather than the UN.

2. He forgot to mention the half a million civilians that have been killed since the US/UK invasion.

[Crisp]

Re: HAL ... evil AI creation.

I totally agree. HAL wasn't evil, just misguided.

[jake]

Whatever.

This "company" obviously has no imagination whatsoever.

Hint for the kiddies: Naming yourself after fictional works isn't cute, and in fact tends to give real investors cause to shy away ...

[Simon Harris]

Re: Whatever.

How about fictional works that name themselves after real military hardware?

Skynet, for example.

[jake]

@Simon Harris (was: Re: Whatever.)

Hollywood hasn't had an imagination for decades. I'm absolutely certain the writers got the "Skynet" name from Britain's military satellites.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @Simon Harris (was: Whatever.)

I'd give them a little more credit than that, I very much doubt that the hollywood writer that came up with skynet was even aware the british had satellites...

[Sander van der Wal]

We want Manga.

In Japan, more likely to be some local comic heroes and heroines that are going to be made real. And they even might be able to fly, or at least make those spectacular jumps that are so easy on paper.

[ukgnome]

Re: We want Manga.

If they go down that route, then what is to stop the Cronos corporation starts pumping out hyper-zoanoids?

[Matt 116]

Shhh, don't tell these guys about the Skynet comms system (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skynet_%28satellite%29).

[ecofeco]

...and this.

Good find. Have an upvote.

[Nick Berry]

I for one...

Welcome our time traveling killing machine making overlords ...

[John Smith 19]

The skelton needs to be trained

But once it is the humans can be disposed of.

[Graham Marsden]

HAL?

It's "a maker of exoskeleton suits” so I was thinking more of the Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader that Ripley drove in Aliens.

[Anonymous Coward]

You just spoilt...

someones April fools day joke.

[Irongut]

"should judgement day finally arrive, would like to note right now that it is a strong supporter of the firm’s."

A supporter of the firm's what?

[squigbobble]

I wanted to register Omni Consumer Products...

...and bid for one of the Police support contracts that Westminster put out but someone's beaten me to the name-

http://www.omniconsumerproductscorporation.com/

[User McUser]

The firm also produces support gear which can be worn by carers to lift heavy loads and even markets a radiation-shielding “disaster recovery” suit for emergency workers.

So they make the exact opposite of a Terminator then: Living flesh surrounded by a metal exoskeleton that helps people.

[Captain DaFt]

So...

A company named after the company that produced terminators makes a device called HAL that turns people into Cybermen... I haven't seen this much meme mangling since this: http://i.imgur.com/hqFCN.jpg

[ecofeco]

Invented Skynet?

Skynet already exists.

www.skynet.net

"SkyNet Worldwide Express is an international distribution and logistics company with presence in more than 180 countries around the world "

[Colin Miller]

Re: Invented Skynet?

A military skynet already exists - it's the name of the UK MOD satcom system…

[Rick Giles]

Aren't you a little early

for April 1st?

[Anonymous Coward]

Eh, I'm not going to worry abou the Rise of the Machines...

Unless Cyberdyne uses its new mountain o' mammon to execute the "kill all humans" hat-trick and buy into a leadership role in the Skylon project.

In that case, the games up for you fleshopods and I am going Boltar on you all. I'm thinking old school Boltar too, since Boltar 2.0 was so obviously beta that he could be sweet-talked into giving his network password to any slinky blonde with a penchant for genocide. Plus I could really rock that "O-G" Boltar cape...

[scarshapedstar]

Ah, so they don't make terminators, just robot skeletons.

Hey, wait a minute...

http://blogs.palmbeachpost.com/superfun/files/2013/12/terminator-exoskeleton.jpg

[MrDamage]

Exoskeletons

Is how they start. They get us to wear them first, so they can record our body mechanics in action, so when they roll off the first batch of T-100's, there is not awkward, jerky gait to give them away as not human.

Will the terminator who kills the last human please turn off the lights.

[Mr Shouty]

I don't think it's Skynet we need to worry about any more

But if there are companies/systems that come about called 'Northern Lights' or 'Samaritan' - then we are royally screwed.

[AbeSapian]

Cyberdyne vs Alien

Get away from her you bitch!