if you really must defecate on fruit...
...you'd have a better chance of making out with a pineapple or grapefruit.
How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year
Getting a date is hard enough to begin with. So what happens if cruel nature calls when things are just starting to get romantic? That's the question posed and answered by a tome titled How To Poo On A Date by Mats & Enzo, which has just won the 36th annual Diagram Prize for Oddest Book Title of the Year. The book achieved 30 …
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Monday 24th March 2014 11:36 GMT John Tserkezis
How to poo on a date.
Why do I get the feeling that the answer is quite short, but like some of my classmates used to do in high school - take a really short answer and turn it into a 25 page essay, making it look like you know what you're talking about.
Clearly I'm not the "read the book to find out" type.
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Monday 24th March 2014 12:10 GMT glen waverley
Dr Sir Les Paterson may have prior art
I seem to recall the cultural attache to the court of st james posing the question "what do you do if a bird shits on your windscreen?"
To which the answer was along the lines of "You don't take her to the drive-in next time!"
Somehow seems relevant to this topic.
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Monday 24th March 2014 12:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
slightly disappoinrted that my copy of "How to avoid huge ships" is actually reprints of covers of diagram prize winners, rather than the actual book . does now mean I have a new must have book "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America - A guide to field identification" and of course the seminal "Highlights in the history of Concrete".
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Monday 24th March 2014 17:25 GMT Anonymous Coward
Wet fart while she was spooning worked for me...
... trying to slip out a quiet one failed horribly. We were camping in the bush (no pun intended); the resultant midnight drive back to running water and soap was mostly icy silence punctuated by choice invective from the offended party. Last I saw of her strangely.
AC for obvious reasons.
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Monday 24th March 2014 18:19 GMT WalterAlter
Re: Wet fart while she was spooning worked for me...
"Poo" in the work's title equates to a loose choice of syntax, implying an open ended liquifaction of the goods. This must be a European connotation which includes various peripheral characteristics of flatulence, when, to keep more to cases, the Americanized "Poop" with its satisfying end pinch bilabial plosive, though not strictly onomatopoeic (more onomatoimagic one could surmise, as little umber "beginning-middle-end" torpedoes dance before the eyes), would amount to a more precise reference and pay appropriate homage to the tireless labors of the holy sphincter.
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Monday 24th March 2014 19:34 GMT David Pollard
the person who nominates ... gets a bottle of semi-decent claret
It's a neat trick that, to nominate the book themselves. When the accountant/taxman enquires about crates of claret appearing as expenses it's, "Oh yes. Prizes in our competitions. They generate quite a lot of publicity, you know... Just look at the press cuttings..."
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
