back to article Japanese fanboi first in queue for, er, iPhone 6

A Japanese man who appears to be a rather overzealous Apple fanboi has started queuing for the iPhone 6, even though it hasn't been announced yet. Tokyo-based blogger Yoppy, who describes his outing in his blog as "iPhone cosplay" – apparently decided that Wednesday was the right time to dress up as an iPhone and wait outside …

COMMENTS

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  1. Ken Y-N
    Headmaster

    I'll have a go at translation

    "I'm the world's fastest queuer for the iPhone 6, and I've got email in English from Brazilian and UK news sites. Wish me luck as I have to reply..."

    It's all a bit slangy, so no wonder Google Translate falls down.

    And can I suggest an NSFW tag on his Twitter feed as he is now showing his chocolate willy there.

    1. wowfood

      Re: I'll have a go at translation

      And on the translation front ,9.75million yen is aprox £58,000. So the number it cost the airline isn't nearly as bad as it sounds.

      1. frank ly

        @Ken Y-N Re: I'll have a go at translation

        It's a chocolate 'Yule log' and the filling is leaking out. Some people ......

        1. Jedit
          Joke

          "It's a chocolate 'Yule log' and the filling is leaking out"

          That's what they all say when they're in the dock!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'll have a go at translation

      IPhone 6 - Translation - an amazing mobile phone completely made of glass with an edge to edge screen and invisible virtual curved corners.

      Patented of course.

    3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: I'll have a go at translation

      Chocolate willy - melts in the mouth, not in the hand!

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      This is a whole new kind of retard

      For which a word has not yet been invented.

  2. Khaptain Silver badge
    Gimp

    Satirical Personificiation

    I presume that this is some kind of satirical personificiation of Apple's ultimate consumers.

    Here's looking forward to the "forthcoming" iPhone 1242 ( only a few hickups to resolve and it will be on the production line).

    His stunt has worked though, he has managed to make the headlines of El Reg.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Satirical Personificiation

      "... he has managed to make the headlines of El Reg."

      - not much of a high bar.

      IT angle - helps

      fanboi bashing - getting warmer

      NSFW - bingo!

  3. Zack Mollusc

    The iPhone 6 is yet another style-over-function exercise from crApple. Android will wipe the floor with it, technically, while kool-aid sipping fanbois will flock to it and send Apple's stock ever higher. Er.. something about needing to upgrade itunes..... er.....

    Anyway, you get the idea. Everbody pile into the comments and get this flamewar over with, then when iPhone 6 is finally announced we can just link back to this article and save ourselves some time.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You could save yourself more time by not replying but something about the iPhone bothers you enough you just had to. I'm guessing you've never even tried one, probably can't affair to e judging by the childish dig at Apple in your post.

      1. M Gale

        probably can't affair to e judging by the childish dig at Apple in your post.

        I know the iPhone's glass keyboard isn't the best for typing on, but that was pretty atrocious even for typed-on-the-bus-on-the-way-to-work hurriedness. You should check that the autocorrect is actually correcting your typing and not making it worse, as autocorrect tends to do. A lot.

        You might also want to read that guy's post again and examine it for humour content. Or his posting history, where not two days ago he's slagging off his own HTC droid-thing for a shit update that b0rked it.

        Now me on the other hand, I can't resist a dig at Apple, or at anybody who thinks that the sun shines out of Zombie Jobs' arse.

      2. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        "I'm guessing you've never even tried one, probably can't affair to e judging by the childish dig at Apple in your post."

        *woosh*

        Haham typical rabid fanboi. One *hint* of an attack and you lose your heads. Read his post again. He wasn't criticising the iphone, he was critiscising the iphone criticisers, so mouthing off at him is a bit oof an own goal don't cha' think?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Webster Freaky is back?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      erm

      Hey 'Zack', the 90s called and they want their Apple puns back

      1. Zack Mollusc

        Re: erm

        The 90's can drop dead, I have been making the crApple pun since the 80's.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I dislike Apple

      and make no bones about it. They have, so far, been the embodiment of everything wrong with technology.

      But you're clearly a bloody idiot. The iPhone 6 hasn't been announced yet. Once there are solid rumours you might be able to slag it off. But now? Utterly pointless- even I wouldn't do it.

      Apple just bought Primesense, the company behind the Kinect. It would be pretty trivial to add that technology to a modern smartphone- and bingo, you've got a camera that takes /3D/ images. A phone that can use a pair of microphones to determine where you are in relation to it.

      I've no real idea what you could do with it, and only circumstantial evidence suggesting that they'd want to move into this space. But if they do it opens up avenues currently unavailable to the mobile phone world. And think of the ancillary services. Suddenly 3D printing would become the darling of the twitterati. The ultimate in Narcissism- take a Selfie and you can get your own face (or other body part) rendered in plastic. What iPhone wielding media luvvie could ask for more? It'd become cool and- thanks to economies of scale- more affordable almost overnight.

      And that's just one of their acquisitions. Just think what the genuinely innovative companies they've bought over will be able to turn out for them. And then think that Google, Samsung, etc have been acquiring new companies left, right and center too. What could they release next (if the accountants don't get all risk averse)?

      tl;dr Don't slag off someone until you know they deserve it. Then rip them to shreds and stick to facts. Keeps any flame wars short :)

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        Re: I dislike Apple

        "tl;dr Don't slag off someone until you know they deserve it. Then rip them to shreds and stick to facts. Keeps any flame wars short :)"

        Pro-tip: Read posts carefully before replying, and also read replies to them before replying yourself!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I dislike Apple

        They have, so far, been the embodiment of everything wrong with technology.

        That bit is wrong, Apple have done something technologically that EVERYONE else failed at, something quite amazing, something even us non Apple fans can recognise as being one hell of an achievement, they created a (normal) user friendly unix based UI which actually works and is liked.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why...

    ...do they keep coming out with a new version so frequently? Haven't they got it right yet? Are they so crap they need people to move to new model before the old one gives in? Is each new model an excuse for protecting another 150 patents? Or are they taking the piss and milking the fanbois?

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: Why...

      I was glancing at peoples screens this morning on the tram ride to work. I would estimate that about 80% were playing games......( Android and Apple grouped together here).

      Therefore the majority were simply using their device as a means of relieving boredom. Since any of the current middle of the road, even some lower end phones are capable of providing the power/hardware required to play these games, the purchasing of latest and greatest iPhone, S4 etc can have no real objective other than as a status symbol or as a sheepishly consumeristic must have.

      It is the personification of consumerism and both apple and Samsung are loving it..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why...

      A new model every year is frequent? yet on Android a new model every 6 months is seen as fine?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        O M F G!

        "A new model every year is frequent? yet on Android a new model every 6 months is seen as fine?"

        Honestly? You really made that comment? Do you not know the difference?

        The obvious flies over your head.

        Ask siri why. You can't work it out!

        scary, very very scary. Lets hope you don't have any responsibility for spending public money, or even a broom.

        1. Gio Ciampa

          Re: O M F G!

          "A new model every year is frequent? yet on Android a new model every 6 months is seen as fine?"

          No - it isn't. I bought my S3 mini a couple of months after it came out... and a couple of months later the S4 was announced and it was already obsolete - so much so Samsung didn't bother going beyond the Jelly Bean 4.1.2 it shipped with, and even CyanogenMod couldn't be bothered with an official release for it (it's now happily running an unofficial CM KitKat 4.4.2 port).

          A right royal pain in the arse if you ask me

  5. K
    Facepalm

    This is old news...

    I'm the first in the queue for iPhone 7.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This is old news...

      Can I be the first one for the one with an "S" at the end? as in Iphone7S. I am already getting a hard-on and a wet dream at the thought.

      Coming to the story, this Jap chap is just an App. chap dickhead.

      Nuff said.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: This is old news...

        I'll wait for the iPhone 7GTI.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Re: This is old news...

          ...with go faster stripes

      2. wowfood

        Re: This is old news...

        I'm looking forward to the iPhone 8. I hear you can side load windows on it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: This is old news...

          "I'm looking forward to the iPhone 8. I hear you can side load windows on it."

          Wow iPhone would at least regain some cred then!

          Whats that, iPhone has tweenty feature set? I don't believe you.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: This is old news...

            I'm in the queue for the one with 11 digits, got to be better, it's got one more number.

    2. Zack Mollusc

      Re: This is old news...

      Can I be first in the queue to buy it on ebay for a ridiculous mark-up?

      Failing that, can I be first in the queue to slag off the idiots who buy them on ebay for a ridiculous mark-up?

    3. Gerhard den Hollander

      Re: This is old news...

      Too late

      ... sent from my iPhone 8 ...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "... lots of young people with too much time on their hands will queue up and wait for one."

    And money. Don't forget too much money!

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    translation

    iPhone6に世界最速で並んだやつ、ブラジルのニュースサイトとかイギリスのニュースサイトから英語のメールが届いててんやわんやしてる。頑張って返信しないと…!

    means

    "I'm in the line for world's fastest iPhone 6. it's hectic... since English email arrived from Brazil and UK news sites. I'm gonna reply to it!"

    from Japan

  8. Dr_N Silver badge

    Loser...

    If he was a REAL devotee he'd be queuing for the iPhone7S.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Obviously the Chinese are decades behind the rest of the world.

    iPhone6! They don't know that iPhone is dead.

    They want the symbol. Shame that symbol is now of sad sap. It isn't 2007 anymore!

    1. MrDamage
      Facepalm

      Obviously

      Your reading comprehension, and geography skills, are sorely lacking, if you can somehow confuse Japanese for Chinese.

      Idiot.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's a phone...

    ...that will act and *inherently* do for you what your last three have. I don't understand launch-day spaff overloads. Am I missing something? (genuinely)

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Trollface

      Next: A iPhone to alleviate White Guilt. It should sell.

      It's like a Presidential Election where quite a few "people" are spazzing out as the next Big Honcho is acceding to the Throne of Pretense whereby He is supposed to Make Everything Better, then makes is consistently worse.

      In other words, no.

  11. Eponymous Cowherd
    Joke

    Yeah but.....

    has it got Flappy Bird on it?

    1. MrDamage

      Re: Yeah but.....

      No, but the iUsers are all fappy over their iShiney.

  12. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    I'd be more willing to fall for this obvious hoax if the iPhone cosplayer was also cross-dressed as an schoolgirl in obscenely undersized clothing.

  13. jonathanb Silver badge

    Will the next iPhone even be the iPhone 6? The latest iPad is the iPad air rather than the iPad 5, so if there is a significant change to the size or form factor of the iPhone, it may get a similar new name. Alternatively, if it is just an minor incremental release, then it might be the iPhone 5Sx or something like that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Noting that, I'd like to suggest they take a bit more time developing it, you know to make sure it doesn't randomly drop words out of every fucking call you make, and call it the "iPhone whichWorks".

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Attention whore

    Got what he wanted. Not much of a life.

  15. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Another iPhone Queue

    It was inevitable.

  16. TitterYeNot

    Gremlins

    "(Please be aware that Yoppy's Twitter feed is NSFW – backroom gremlins)"

    Backroom gremlins? Is that a euphemism, or does my dirty mind need a good scrubbing again?

  17. Vociferous

    Japan.

    I had a look at his twitter account and yeah, definitely Japan.

  18. bruceld

    Tim Cook...is one DILF over and over and over!

    I imagine he's excited about his next annoucement.

  19. JackFrost

    Idiot! Nuff said.

    P.S. He is on the wrong side of the road from the Apple store.

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