back to article Symantec: WA-HEY... profits. But security firm's sales won't budge

New CEO equals new broom equals same old dust; just looking at Symantec’s latest quarterly numbers we see it’s still stuck in the $1.6bn - $1.8bn range but is getting a bit more profitable. For its third quarter, ended 27 December last year, the software giant’s revenues were $1.7bn, 5 per cent down on the year-ago $1.79bn and …

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  1. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Sekurity! through endless crashing

    As far as I can see, you could achieve the same result by filling your PC with old staples, shorting things out and causing random crashes. It's difficult for the malware to install itself when your PC doesn't work at all.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sekurity! through endless crashing

      The no. of programs or modules they install they might as well have one to phone home and arrange for a courier, one that actually is a courier, one that enables 4D transport from your location to the van whereupon the courier module drives off with your computer, and another to send you photos of it on a shelf with lots of other computers along with the message "Having a wonderful time! Please don't worry about me, the technicians are really nice and fun here and almost no-one gets sick! Its just like being back at PC World! Love, Squarey. xxx" When actually Squarey is on the operating table, his hard drive encrypted while all the Symantec crap had the system so bogged down it was all he could do just to breathe in and out, and the nasty men just walked in through an NSA back door they'd found and set up shop while the technician was waiting for the mouse to respond.

      That or I dreamt it. Its getting so hard to tell the difference these days.

    2. Euripides Pants

      Re: Sekurity! through endless crashing

      Surely that would be Suck-urity

  2. Livlondon
    Thumb Down

    The answer to a declining channel........... MORE CHANNEL!!!

  3. Lord Lien

    Symantec Endpoint Protection….

    Like using water as sun cream! Not effective!

  4. vonRat

    I admire Symantec's purity.

    They take over companies producing industry leading products and slowly turn these products into bloated, bug-ridden abominations that you are eventually forced to abandon.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All of the malware parking spots are taken...

    By Symantek.

    I'm constantly having to remove Symantek for the other half's laptop.

    It has massively improved though, going from PC herpies to warts... now its only a pain to get rid of.

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