back to article El Reg preps relaunch of Cash’n’Carrion online merchandise emporium

Early days yet, but we are relaunching Cash’n’Carrion, our online tee-shirt and merchandise store. We want you to help us stock the shop by completing this very quick survey. A little background for you: We mothballed our store in 2008 after we sub-contracted fulfilment to a print-to-order firm. The results left something to …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tees and mugs?

    You can do better than that.

    Reg watches

    Reg condoms

    Reg temporary tattoos

    Reg socks

    Reg underpants

    1. Moktu

      Re: Tees and mugs?

      I had a rather nice BOTH T Shirt a while back.

      Admittedly I used it to wipe clean the dipstick for the boat engine, but it came up nice and shiny.

      I'd buy another, and maybe one for the gearbox dipstick too.

      1. Peter Simpson 1

        Re: Tees and mugs?

        I had a rather nice BOTH T Shirt a while back.?

        Surely - BOFH?

        I could go for one of those...

        // F as in "Fine", right?

    2. Oh Homer
      Thumb Up

      Re: Tees and mugs?

      . Reg-branded Lego sets, complete with a booklet of suggested humorous (or otherwise) constructions, and the (literal) heads of various well-known figures we like to poke fun at

      . BOFH, Vulture and Special Projects Bureau t-shirts. May I also suggest a "Three Vulture Moon" t-shirt? Would a "Cockwomble" t-shirt be pushing things too far?

      . LOHAN miniatures (plastic, metal or ceramic), maybe even Airfix-style construction sets

      . A Vulture "bullshit button"

      . An Orlowski "punch stress reliever"

      1. MrT

        LOHAN Airfix kit...

        ... excellent - I'll have two. (Just don't sell the plane separately from the rest of the rig).

        Probably says a lot about me though...

        The button idea reminds me of something I have at work - a USB "Emergency Button" that normally just sits there calmly glowing different colours until pressed - one tap and it CTRL-Zs stuff, hold it down and it launches the Edugeek web forum. Got to be some possibilities with something like that.

        1. Petrea Mitchell
          Thumb Up

          Re: LOHAN Airfix kit...

          That panic button sounds like a useful gadget. May have to get myself one of those.

          I'd expect an El-Reg-branded one to take me to the BOFH archive, of course.

    3. MrT

      Reg mugs...

      ... how about Reg Varney in full On The Buses kit, holding a Reg mug, Blakey looking on with disdain...?

      IT angle? After all, he's photo'd using the first ATM in 1967...

    4. stratcat

      Re: Tees and mugs?

      Re - Reg Condoms suggestion:

      Actually a great suggestion for Reg merchandise... in reference to Alistair Dabbs' column, these would of course have "Something for the weekend, Sir?" written on them.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tees and mugs?

        "these would of course have "Something for the weekend, Sir?" written on them."

        On the inside, in that transfer ink used for temporary tattoos. That'd look magnificent along the length of my boner. Although on second thoughts, maybe "Something for the weekend, Madam?" might be better, to avoid creating the wrong sort of impression with the wife.

        Maybe offer both terms, all in the interests of pandering to the "diversity" fad?

  2. Miek

    ElReg Figurines? Could be used for Voodoo or Worship; depends on which one you buy.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      The El Reg Lewis Page Dartboard [tm]. A perfect gift for your green friends, or anyone working for a large defence contractor...

  3. JayBizzle

    Can we have?....

    Can we have a Reg conversion app please? I'm keen to know how many double decker buses fit into 15 football pitches and I would like that at the touch of a screen (apple or android).


    1. Phil W

      Re: Can we have?....


      Except since they're asking for physical merchandise, how about Reg unit conversion as a wall chart.

      1. Peter Simpson 1
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Can we have?....

        I think I have an illustration for the Bulgarian Airbags conversion section...

        // Daily Fail link suppressed

  4. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Obvious Innit

    Surely what El Reg should be selling us are spaceplanes. Or even tickets to orbit.

    Plus a small sideline in Playmobil re-enactments of famous historical scenes to hang on the bathroom wall.

  5. Ol'Peculier

    Oh yes...

    I've still got this, somewhere

    1. Ol'Peculier

      Re: Oh yes...

      I've just remembered I got chatted up in a night club whist wearing it. Happy days!

      No need to explain icon.

  6. Kane Silver badge


    How about coffee mugs with a picture of a coffee-sprayed keyboard? Whole keyboard, not just one key?

    Icon related>>>

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Hmmm....

      "Vulture Keyboard Saver". A sort of "hang over the lip of a cup umbrella" affair to catch the spray from sudden outbursts of laughter.

    2. The Axe

      Re: Hmmm....

      Why not a proper keyboard with the coffee spray already printed on it?

  7. Wyrdness


    I've still got some tritium glowring radioactive key fobs from the original cash'n'carrion store. 12 years later and they're still glowing, albeit a bit fainter these days.

    1. PatientOne

      Re: Glowrings?

      Unfortunately the casing broke on mine and I lost the insert. Shame: I really liked my key fob...

  8. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    I'm not the T-Shirt type

    If El Reg are setting this up again in order to fulfill a frequent request for t-shirts, then good luck to them. That's not really my bag. But if people want it and ask for it, they'd be silly not to.

    I buy useful gadgets like torches and portable screwdriver sets and the like - along with USB sticks. I tend to stuff my laptop bag full of useful crap like that, and am always able to fix friends' computers and my glasses as a consequence. I fixed the interviewer's glasses when I went for a job once, with the jewellers screwdriver I carry. Got the job too...

    If El Reg bought some of those nice little gadgets, of which there are loads around (some cheap crap some great), I'm sure they could sell them. Buy in reasonable bulk and slap a logo or slogan on them, they shoudln't cost much more than we could buy them for. I'd be interested in a small selection of that sort of thing. Don't know about my fellow commentards though.

    P.S. the tickboxes in your survey are way too small, and not near the text or at the end of the grey bars the question text is on. Could you not make them more obvious?

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: I'm not the T-Shirt type

      That all sounds far too sensible to me

  9. Anonymous Coward

    Tee shirts

    If you bring back the T-Shirts can you have at least some of them made from Bamboo?

    Lovely and comfy material and very important for younger geeks, it doesn't harbour bacteria as much as cotton, so far less smelly.

    1. Martin an gof Silver badge

      Re: Tee shirts

      Cotton doesn't harbour bacteria, so long as you wash it at bloomin' 60C rather than 40C or 30C. Cotton can handle this well, it's the badly-transfered logos and things that complain. Higher temperatures may use -fractionally- more electricity (go on, look it up in your washing machine guide) but they also mean you can ditch those daft "biological" washing powders that are necessary to get any kind of cleaning at all at low temperatures and go back to simpler detergent or soap-based powders that are co-incidentally less irritating to sensitive skin.

      Can't understand why my boy's school insists on artificial material *rugby* shirts, of all things, which insist on being washed at 40C. Rugby shirts? In Wales? In Winter?

      Icon: keeps the utility shed nice and warm too :-)


  10. Nigel 9

    Oh Dear

    If the survey is anything to go by, your designer needs shooting..... Half of that gear would be outdone by bog standard Vendor freebies :(

    IT Geeks love to personalise gear that they have to use everyday..... That is why the stressballs get binned, but decent USB keys, micro screwdriver kits and leather bound A4 pads stay.

    Hell, even those A3 tear-off pads would sell..... but £50 for a naff Red wallet? Naughty step....

  11. Sir Barry

    If T shirts come in extra fat then I may be tempted....

  12. jglathe

    Enhanced Cattleprod, anyone?

    ... could also be camouflaged as an El Reg USB stick. A USB stick that's biting the hand that feeds it, so to speak.

  13. mhoulden

    I remember El Reg used to do a mug that said "My job was outsourced to India and all I got was this lousy mug", and it was slightly alarming to see a very similar one appear on the BNP website. It might be an idea not to bring it back to avoid exciting the loonies.

  14. Captain DaFt

    Baby wear?

    Snuggies, dummies, booties, and other clothes and accessories for babies.

    Of course, this may lead to charges of 'corrupting minors'.

  15. Elmer Phud


    My 419 T shirt is worn out.

    Need a new one!

  16. Petrea Mitchell

    T-shirt I'd like

    I'd love to have a T-shirt featuring this "geek" comment icon, with size and placement similar to the large logo in the survey. Because people around me could use the warning...

  17. Chris G Silver badge


    One of these:

    A memory stick with USB2 as well as a Micro USB for my phone/slablet.

    If the price was reasonable I would buy one.

  18. Keef

    Pint glass please

    I have a large collection of beer festival pint glasses but none of them have an El Reg logo on them.

  19. Cliff

    Think about your audience demographic

    Less corporate giveaway style shit, more focussed on interesting quality gadgetry and tools, mugs with insightful designs (I like the Julian T-shirt design for instance but don't wear printed t-shirts so much any more as I have a wife). Canvas print is silly idea - who's going to buy one for the home? Who can hang one in a workplace cubicle? Fugly anyway, and what does the canvas add apart from a dust-trap ledge?

  20. Mikel

    Would like a mug and shirt

    Just for fun

  21. Amazon Wageslave


    Stickers please. The Vulture, BOFH, SPB, all that good stuff.

  22. Moffy

    Cattleprod USB stick. it's definately the way forward..(but can it be big enough that i can mod it to include the components from a piezo electric lighter..)

  23. 27escape

    An internet connected weather station

    with a photo of Lewis Page on it?

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