back to article Classy Oregon diners tipped waitress with 'crystal meth' – cops

A couple of Oregon diners were cuffed last Thursday night after allegedly tipping a steakhouse waitress an envelope of methamphetamine, the Oregonian reports. Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, were chowing down with friends at the Twisted Fish Steakhouse in Seaside, a coastal town some 100km northwest of Portland. …

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  1. Mondo the Magnificent
    FAIL

    WTF..

    ..is that hideous thing tattooed on her chest?

    On face value, they look more than a bit dodgy and certainly deserve a mention on "World's Dumbest Criminals"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WTF..

      ..is that hideous thing tattooed on her chest?

      Looks like her boyfriend on meth ...

    2. Oliver Mayes

      Re: WTF..

      Looks like a pair of skulls on a veiny background to me.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Pookietoo

      Re: WTF...

      Looks like a poorly executed unfinished version of this.

  2. Turtle

    How will she do this?

    Is the waitress going to have to report the value of the meth on her income-tax forms?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How will she do this?

      Since it was turned over to the police, she could declare the value of it as a loss.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Awil Onmearse
    Mushroom

    "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

    By that measure, my house is likely a gigantic meth lab, a biochemical plant and a nuclear research facility.

    1. JulianB

      Re: "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

      I'm now clearing all other items from my house, just to make sure I'm above suspicion

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

      That 3 pack of LED torches I bought from B&Q the other day, which came with 9 batteries, was just for personal use. Honest!

      Why doesn't anyone believe me?

      1. Jedit
        Pirate

        "Why doesn't anyone believe me?"

        Because it's a ridiculous claim. Do you know how long it would take one person to smoke three LED torches?

      2. GBE

        Re: "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

        > That 3 pack of LED torches I bought from B&Q the other day [...]

        You guys do know that in the US "torch" means something different than it does in the UK?

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

          Oops, I'd forgotten flashlight. So what's torch mean in USian? Something like an electric paint-stripper?

          I wonder what US kids would make of Jamie and his Magic Torch, the cartoon I watched when I was 5? I'm sure I don't remember any meth labs...

          1. Veni, Vidi, Velcro

            Re: "a meth lab comprising a small torch, batteries and other items",

            A torch is either the thing used in the Olympics or it's successor, powered by butane or similar.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butane_torch

            Depending on the fuel source, they can be used for anything from cooking through welding or cutting metal.

  5. Anonymous Coward 101

    I thought meth was supposed to make you thin?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      We'd need to see the before & after photos, and I, for one, don't want to...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        What?

        I thought those were before and after photo's???

        Thats two different people????

  6. Tuesday Is Soylent Green Day

    the tit tattoo

    just oozes class

    1. gaz 7

      Re: the tit tattoo

      oozes something, not sure it's class though

  7. Tom 7 Silver badge

    482 grams of metamphetamine in her purse

    and she was eating?

  8. chrishansenhome
    WTF?

    Happened to me 15 years ago

    In my building live some people who have special needs. Around 15 years ago one asked me for some help in doing something or other DIYish. I helped him out and thought nothing more of it.

    At Christmas I found two Christmas cards in my mailbox. One said, "Thanks for your help this year. I'm giving you a little gift." The other card had two rocks of crack in it.

    I of course threw them away and thought no more of it. I've dined out on the story many times, though.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Happened to me 15 years ago

      When I first move to North London I took my parents to a local restaurant recommended by friends. During the main course, the waiter asked if we wanted "some more cocaine", froze for a few seconds then stutteringly told us he meant "more wine". Since found out that it's common knowledge in the restaurant trade that during particularly busy periods some staff members cope by using coke or speed.

      1. Ed_UK

        Re: Happened to me 15 years ago

        "...the waiter asked if we wanted "some more cocaine""

        "I'm fine for cake, Mrs. Doyle."

        "Are you sure, Father, there's cocaine in it."

        "There's WHAT?"

        "Oh, no... not cocaine...what am I on about? No, I meant... what do you call them...raisins."

    2. TheNix
      Coat

      Re: Happened to me 15 years ago

      So that's what happened to them! I meant to leave a couple of Werther's Originals, and in my crack-addled state I must have got mixed up. You should have seen the look on the face of the guy who paid a thick wad of used 20s for some boiled sweets, though - priceless.

      No? Fair enough. I'll, er, get my coat.

  9. 21st Century Peon

    "[...] comprising a small torch, batteries and other items."

    That's not a meth lab, that's my kitchen drawer. Either the police are keeping the good stuff a surprise for the trial, or they didn't find anything worth a damn and this is a poor attempt to sex it up for the press.

    1. Uffish

      Re: "[...] comprising a small torch, batteries and other items."

      Police: "Look, you're facing a certain 15 years for running a crack lab or, tell us who you 're dealer is".

  10. Bill Gould

    But they look so classy. Where did they go wrong? Wait. Probably the meth.

  11. Slik Fandango
    FAIL

    Breaking Badly

    I thought Walter White was a bit over the top with his equipment, when all he needed was a torch!

    1. aqk
      Boffin

      Re: Breaking Badly

      Now, now- mustn't forget the three batteries!

      And a handsome young assistant to run down to the 7-11 for more batteries when needed.

      I hear the lithium ones work the best.

  12. johnwerneken

    from oregon, lived in Beaverton

    Typical of my former community!

    Arrogant, stupid, and stoned.

  13. Winkypop Silver badge
    Pirate

    Tatts, drugs and low IQs

    The unholy trinity.

  14. Mark 85 Silver badge

    A torch

    For those in the UK... here's the kind of torch they had: https://www.google.com/search?q=torch+propane&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil=wxPuKmcvWjURIM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcQl874muZ66IQm-Uwd-VwgIwTcCWvpX_iPD3AXG-b1KhwmTFk7sUQ%253B500%253B692%253BmzYxQ-YQ8vi_nM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwaterheatertimer.org%25252FHow-to-remove-old-water-heater-element.html&sa=X&ei=cbfPUo-HGoXhoASboICQDQ&sqi=2&ved=0CEkQ9QEwAg&biw=1245&bih=716#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=wxPuKmcvWjURIM%253A%3BmzYxQ-YQ8vi_nM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwaterheatertimer.org%252Fimages%252FPropane-torch2-500.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwaterheatertimer.org%252FHow-to-remove-old-water-heater-element.html%3B500%3B692

    1. Pookietoo

      Re: A torch

      You mean http://waterheatertimer.org/images/Propane-torch2-500.jpg ?

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