back to article Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

Users of a Ghanean public toilet fled the premises in panic after a "big black snake" sank its fangs into an unfortunate 34-year-old's todger. Kwabena Nkrumah was going about his business in Faaman, some 250km northwest of the capital Accra, when he "suddenly felt a sharp pain at the tip of his manhood", according to GhanaWeb …

COMMENTS

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  1. poopypants

    Probably thought

    it was another snake, albeit one with an ocular deficiency.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Probably thought

      What, a black memba!

      1. RobHib

        @cornz 1 - Re: Probably thought

        Groan. ...And the hospital trip 've been one-way.

  2. Dick Emery

    Badger Badger Badger Badger

    Mushroom! Mushroom!

    1. REDKola

      Re: Badger Badger Badger Badger

      That's what I thought when I read the story.

      Panic, a snake!

  3. Gray Ham

    Ouch ...

    He was probably lucky ... I believe, with some species of African snakes, the bitten limb may need to be amputated.

  4. Ken Y-N
    Paris Hilton

    In first with the Paris Hilton angle

    Suck the poison out and whatnot.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

    I have to ask - IT?

    1. Lottie

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      The snake bit Inches from his Testicles?

      1. Bert 1

        Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

        bit

    2. Don Jefe
      Happy

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      Well, how about this: Some varieties of high end porta-johns here in the States, like they have at equestrian events and the hunt clubs, alert the occupant with a buzzer and flashing lights inside and on the roof if anything alive is detected in the tank. It's supposed to be a child and small animal safety mechanism. The system works by detecting and analyzing wave motion with a series of sensors in the tank.

      Had the facilities in this story been equipped with such a system, the man would have been alerted to the presence of the snake and could have made a decision if he was going to risk it or not. There would have been no sneaky snake attack on his sack, it would have been consensual and all made possible with IT.

      1. hplasm
        Coat

        Re: high end porta-johns...

        Imagine that!

        Buzzer goes off, punter pulls up pants and looks down into hole, only to see a small child splashing there below.

        "Funny," he thinks, "I don't remember eating that..."

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

        "It's supposed to be a child and small animal safety mechanism."

        Maybe someone should take a look at their labour practices...

        I thought that the employment of children and animals to do dirty jobs in confined spaces was a thing of Victorian times, and had no idea it still happened in the good 'ol US of A!

        But still, I guess it must be a lot cheaper to send children in to clean the tanks out than to buy all that expensive industrial flushing and vacuuming equipment.

      3. Fatman
        Joke

        Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

        Had the facilities in this story been equipped with such a system, the man would have been alerted to the presence of the snake and could have made a decision if he was going to risk it or not.

        In a third world nation like Nigeria???

        Give me a fucking break!!!!!

    3. Gareth Gouldstone

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      IT angle: it's the angle of the dangle...

    4. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      The message is obvious.

      Watch IT!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      IT angle? Well a quick google for "snake bites todger species" gave me 2.5m hits. Or should that be bites? Or should I start trying to market titatnium todger armour?

    6. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      >I have to ask - IT?

      This is the Bootnotes section. I'd be disappointed if there *was* an IT angle!

    7. jai

      Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      given the stereotypical high-proportion of males in the IT industry, technology or not, I imagine the majority of the readers can sympathise with the subject of this article.

    8. RobHib
      Facepalm

      @Andrew Fernie --- Re: Spoilsport though I know I'm being...

      Are you a male-hating female perchance?

  6. Robert Ramsay

    Glad he was none the worse...

    ...and I see the Register's obsession with genital mutilation stories is unabated...

  7. Steven 1
    Coat

    Excuse me my dear...

    ...have you seen my one-eyed trouser snake?

    My one's the dirty raincoat!

  8. Henry Minute

    George Orwell was right

    Two eyes good, one eye bad.

    So far as toilet snakes go anyway.

    1. Isendel Steel
      Big Brother

      Re: George Orwell was right

      So far as toilet snakes go... One Eye good - Two Eyes definitely bad in this case...

      Although I wouldn't want a second One-Eye in the same cubical

      (Orwellian Icon)

    2. cortland

      Re: George Orwell was right

      And don't forget, toilet snakes live in "toiletries."

      1. Martin Budden
        Coat

        Re: George Orwell was right

        With the addition of a couple of fang-holes, he's lucky he got Three Eyes Better.

  9. Fink-Nottle

    By any chance, was this porta-loo on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Limpopo River, all set about with fever-trees, O Best Beloved?

  10. i like crisps
    Thumb Up

    Dear The Reg...

    Have an upvote for that headline, or in this case, a" thumbs up" icon...Bravo!!

  11. Wize

    I wonder if he was quite happy with the swelling it caused.

  12. Telecide

    Swelling

    My thoughts also - can the Doc take away the pain but keep the swelling??

  13. Ed_UK

    Willy Sue?

    That is all.

  14. WereWoof

    He got a cheap piercing for a PA out of it anyway

  15. Sheep!

    "He was later discharged"

    Was that all part of the service?

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