All hail the mighty teasmade!!!
Teasmades aren't a thing from the 70s! How very dare you! They're a thing from now. I have one on my bedside table. A very nice one, bought from Amazon last year for £50. It's wonderful to wake up to a cuppa in the morning.
Now admittedly there are some issues. You have to use teabags, because the chances of me successfully manipulating pot, cup and tea strainer at early o'clock are pretty close to zero. But I have found that fruit teas are very nice. As they take longer to brew, giving valuable extra snoozing time, and they fill your bedroom with a wonderful fruity aroma. That being the upside of the usual fruit tea problem, they smell so much better than they actually taste.
I can also confirm the jet engine issues. Even from the opposite side of the bed, the quick-boil kettle is incredibly loud in a quiet room, after hours of restful slumber. However, in my case this is a good thing, as I'm perfectly capable of turning off the loudest alarm clock, even if it's on the other side of the room - I can sleepwalk over to it, switch off, and be back in bed asleep before conscious thought has had a chance.
I can confirm though that climbing into the shower, with a scalding hot cup of life-giving tea on the windowsill - ready for perfect drinking when you get out 5 minutes later - is a wonderful thing.
Now, if only someone could come up with the baconsarniesmade...