Why can't they write some new programmes?
I've only just got over the crappy new CGI Smurfs, now they want to have CGI clangers?
I think the day the tide was turned was when they remade the Italian Job - after that, nothing was ever sacred again.
The BBC is to remake the classic children's animation programme The Clangers as a hi-tech production with environmental politics at the fore. Original Clangers animator Peter Firmin and illustrator Daniel Postgate - the son of Clangers creator Oliver - will be involved in the £5m budget production. The new series will be …
Agreed, the fact that they were made from odds and ends added to their credibility, their warmth. Unfortunately CGI has the tendancy to remove the cuddly effect and replace it with "clean and perfect".....
Bagpuss et al shared the same idea imperfection and it is was made them so real..
You think The Italian Job was bad? Just wait until you get to the final paragraph of the BBC press release, er, news article: "The £5m production is already under way, and is being co-produced by US pre-school TV channel Sprout, which will broadcast the programme in North America."
was there actually anything Italian in it ?
well, the first 15 minutes are in Venice aren't they?
if you watch the whole film, it's because their idea to steal the whole security truck by exploding the road from under it, just like they stole the whole safe by exploding the floors beneath it "in the Italian job" which they did at the start of the film.
all that aside, it is undoubtably an abomination and besmirch upon the memory of the original film and should never have been allowed.
"in bloody America, was there actually anything Italian in it ?"
My dear boy you must understand that Americans sometimes claim ethnicity based upon fractional gene participation acquired in the great-great-great ancestry and beyond, and that some elliptical speech was being used.
The full title of the remake is "The Italian/American Job".
Actually, that doesn't work either since the star claims to be Irish (see first paragraph).
As you were.
I don't think there is anyone over the age of 20 who honestly thinks the remake is superior to the original provided:
a) They have *seen* the original - it is a bit rare in these here transatlantic parts
2) They understand the difference between chromakey and doing stuff for real.
Next up: The remake of The Flight of the Phoenix: Flogging offense or Hanging offense?
May I point you in the direction of CBeebies listings?
Me Too
Pingu
Charlie and Lola
Q pootle
Octonouats
Wibbly Pig
Rastamouse
Everythings Rosie
Tweenies
Alphablocks
Raa Raa the noisy Lion
Magic Hands
number jacks
What's the big idea
Something special
Lets play
Mr Blooms nursery
I can cook
The lingo show
Mister maker
Wooly and Tig
ZingZilla's
Ballamory
Tilly and Friends
Waybaloo
The Rhyme Rocket
Baby Jake
Get Well Soon
Kerwhizz
Chuggington
Nina and the Neurons
Sarah and Duck
Gigglebiz
Grandpa in my pocket
The Adventures of Abney and teal
In the Night Garden.
.
.
.
Bloody hell, nothing but remakes in that list.
In fact only ones I could see are Tickabilla (Playschool), Bob the Builder and Postman Pat. Oh I guess bedtimes stories is Jackanory.
Two replies, one serious, one not - you decide which is which.
Pingu (not a BBC production) sets very poor family values.
Why??
Pingu is a Penguin.
Pingu's Dad is a Penguin.
Pingu's Mum is a Penguin.
Pingu's baby sister is a PUFFIN!!!!!
And since we saw Mum lay and hatch the egg, we can only presume she has been cheating on Pingu's Dad.
GiggleBiz; the name concerns me as it sounds like they are ripping off the good name of an educational software company that make a series of Nursery and Primary school games under the "Gigglebies" name; a bit like starting up a consumer electronics firm called "Appel"
Say both of them together and try and tell the difference.
> Pingu's baby sister is a PUFFIN!!!!!
According to Wikipedia (I'm SO not the target audience for Pingu...) Pinga is supposed to be a baby Emperor penguin.
A puffin and a penguin would have to go some to "get it on", given they are at pretty much different ends of the planet.
According to a 'retrospective' I saw a few years back, the original Clangers was scripted, and the dialogue (yes, all the whistling and wooOOooo'ing was a written script) had to get approval. No douby they'll lose all that wit & whimsy with some irrelevant heavy-handed electronic whistles, with voiceover propaganda.
environmental politics at the fore; it;s a KIDS programm, ffs. Stop with the lefty brainwashing in primary school, please.
It was "Oh Sod it! The bloody thing's stuck again!". It was broadcast, it is in the DVDs, and is the whistle produced by the voicebox of every cuddly Clanger sold.
In the episode where the Iron Chicken rampades her way through the Small Blue Planet there are, to the careful listener, at least a few "F"s and I'm fairly certain I heard a "C" in another episode.
10/10 for Postgate and Firmin for that wonderful bit of subversion; yes.
(P.S. Mr. Firmin's artwork is just as beautiful and as quirky as ever: http://www.peterfirmin.co.uk/)
> As I remember the myth/truth, it was "The bloody thing's stuck again" when a door failed to open,
> and it was cut from the original broadcast despite being whistled...
Possibly apocryphal, but I did get it from an interview with Oliver Postgate on the radio. The line was "Oh damn it, the bloody thing's stuck again", which the BBC forced them to change even though it was just done with whistles. The whistles were exactly the same, they just changed the words in the "script".
That was also the sample that was used in a toy.
No the wombles was all about the Thatcherite vision of a race of sub-humans genetically engineered (well they only had one female) troglodyte morlocks, never to be seen and clean up after the waste of the consumer society. It was typical facist BBC propaganda of the ultimate tory contempt of the working class.
I believe Chorlton and the wheelies directly influenced TopGear
They live on a lifeless grey husk with barely an atmosphere to speak off and an escape velocity so low clangers routinely managed to float off and needed rescue. The only other non-robotic complex life form left is a dragon-like creature that has to dig deep beneath the surface to survive on geothermal heat and microorganism-rich subterranian lakes, making only occasional trips to the surface to trade with the surface-dwellers. Their world is about as much of a planet as Pluto.
My boy watches it and that's all green design now with solar panels, wind farms, recycled material and even organic pineapple growing (I shit you not).
And conveniently none of his significant fleet of heavy plant bellows out as which as a whiff of black smoke.
Bastard.
Did you see the "Bob The Builder" Christmas special in which Santa Claus was revealed to be Bob's brother in a costume? On a Christmas show for small children. Fuck the BBC, really.
Compare to "Peppa Pig", where the end credits tell you that Father Christmas was played by himself.
+1 for the reply. Had thoughts back in the late 80's of hunting down the artists and producers of Captain Planet (French) and tossing them in a woodchipper.
Hey El Reg, JustaKOS had a great idea, how about an animated steaming pile of poo .gif Icon please?????
This post has been deleted by its author
Quote:-
The new Clangers will explore themes including "community and caring for the planet", with Firmin pere promising "a new Clangers for a New Age."
Oh dear....
I do understand that that the original series had some similar themes but it sounds like they'll spoil it by going overboard ......
That was always going to happen - two socially inadequate people spending that much time together in close proximity to danger, and having nowhere else to live but a van with two other people and a very large dog. After Daphne and that other bloke whose name I can't recall had made the van springs creak for the umpteenth time that episode, of course Velma would have made the move on Shaggy. Just be grateful it wasn't Scooby ...
It's worth remembering that Oliver Postgate was always quite open in his support of social themes. This is glaringly obvious in series like Noggin the Nog, albeit in a postwar consensus tradition.
A lot of the remakes are bollocks but this is usually due to the style and a desire to be "modern"rather than the subjects they cover. Lebowski practising writing for the Daily Mail again.
If its anything like the Magic Roundabout remake, it'll be utterly awful, and probably feature a hideous catchy theme tune.
They don't need to mine these old classics in the hope parents might get their ankle biters to watch through misplaced nostalgia; it doesn't work because most of those parents will recoil in horror when they see it. There's plenty of good original stuff for pre-schoolers anyway (Personally I think Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom is one of the best things on TV, period.)
Utter, utter class; the model of how children's TV should be done. And nothing like anything the BBC have managed in decades.
Astley Baker Davis made "The Big Knights" for the BBC. One series, then the BBC scrapped it. Then Channel 5, who are good at kids' TV, commissioned "Peppa Pig", then got "Ben & Holly" too. I wonder if anyone at the BBC has been shot over that yet? They bloody should have.
DOES CHILDREN'S TELEVISION MATTER?
Certainly, when we started in 1957, the TV Company I was hoping to work for clearly didn't give a toss about children's television. Well, no, it did, just. It tossed about a hundred pounds a programme to spare programme directors and told them to cobble something together. So when Peter Firmin and I made our first film series about a Welsh railway engine who wanted to sing in the choir, we received about ten pounds a minute for the finished films.
Today, on the rare occasions I watch children's programmes on television, many of which cost more than a thousand times as much to make, I can see how profoundly lucky we were.
Lucky?
Yes, for two reasons. One was that because the TV Company looked on children's television as small-time stuff, it sensibly gave a free hand to the very sensible head of the children's department whose sole purpose was to get programmes that were fun, interesting and cheap. The second reason was that because we didn't have the money for elaborate equipment we had to rely on the basic hand-writing of animation, laboriously pushing along cardboard characters with a pin. Thus we were thrown back on the real staple of television: telling and showing a good story, carefully thought out and delivered in the right order for stacking in the viewer's mind. Come to think of it I must have produced some of the clumsiest animation ever to disgrace the television screen, but it didn't matter. The viewers didn't notice because they were enjoying the stories.
Also we were lucky enough not to have time or money for lengthy conceptual Meetings. All we could do was try to turn out two minutes a day of film that was fun to watch and hope to pay the bills. It was a happy time.
Then, in 1987 the BBC let us know that in future all "programming" was to be judged by what they called its "audience ratings". Furthermore, we were told, some U.S. researchers had established that in order to retain its audience (and its share of the burgeoning merchandising market) every children's programme had to have a 'hook', ie, a startling incident to hold the attention, every few seconds. As our films did not fit this category they were deemed not fit to be shown by the BBC any more. End of story - not only for Peter and me - we had had a very good innings - but also for many of the shoe-string companies that had been providing scrumptious programmes for what is now seen as 'the golden age of children's television'.
Those days are long gone. Today making films for children's television has become very big business requiring huge capital investment, far beyond the reach of small companies, and that has inevitably brought with it a particular poverty from which we never suffered.
Poverty?
Yes. In our time we had been able to found great kingdoms of mountains, ice and snow in our cowsheds. In Peter's big barn we commanded infinities of Outer Space, starred it with heavenly bodies made from old Christmas decorations and made a moon for the Clangers.
Now, today, burdened with the search for the millions of pounds which they have to find to fund their glossy products, the entrepreneurs have to lead a very different sort of life. They must hurtle from country to country seeking subscriptions from the TV stations to fund the enormous cost of the films. Each of these stations will often require the format of the proposed film to be adapted to suit its own largest and dumbest market. They have to do this because, for them, children are no longer children, they are a market.With so many millions at stake the entrepreneurs know that the bottom line must be 'to give the children of today only the sort of things that they already know they enjoy'. They have to do this because they fear that if they don't the little so-and-so's might switch channels and the Company could lose a bit of its share of the lucrative merchandising market.
They do have another difficulty. Because originality can't be bought off the shelf, (and even if it could it would be too risky to consider with so much money at stake), the competition for quality-of-content, has gone by the board. In its place there has evolved what could be called a competition for quality-of-method. This requires small armies of technicians and artists to spend their time seeking ever more astounding ways for the heroes to zap their foes. That is where the huge money goes: on high technology and on the clouds of pundits who confer at length in costly comfort about motivations, targeting and market strategies.
Behind them, in the manner of mass-market publishers, the nail-biting money-people peer anxiously over their shoulders to try and locate some content, some past sure-fire formula that they can re-vamp and use again.
All this is perfectly ordinary - the demise of small companies and with it the elimination of integrity is just the predictable result of trying to turn a small craft into a massive industry. It is sad of course, because crud is always crud, however glossily and zappily it is produced, but that is just part of a general trend in human commerce, part of the way things are going today.
So does it matter?
Yes it does! The Head of Acquisitions at the BBC outlined the Corporation's policy in a recent radio programme. She told us:
"The children of today are more used to the up-market, faster-moving things" and that "in today's hugely competitive schedule we are up against about another twelve to fourteen children's channels and we have got to stand out."
As a policy that is, in my considered view, almost criminally preposterous.
Firstly because it isn't true. There is no such thing as 'the children of today'. Children are not 'of today'. They come afresh into this world in a steady stream and, apart from a few in-built instincts, they are blank pages happily waiting to be written on.
Secondly because it simply isn't true that children have to have what they are 'used to'. They do want programmes that are new to them, programmes that are original and mind-stretching. They just aren't being offered them.
Let me give you an example. As part of the same radio programme one of our old film series: Noggin and the Firecake, was shown to a primary school. It was heavy stuff, clumsy and slow by 'today's standards', but my goodness how eagerly the children followed and enjoyed it! At the end they could gleefully recount whole sections of the story, and when asked if they would like more they shouted with one voice: "YES!"
Lastly, the policy is tragically preposterous because there is simply no need or reason for the BBC to 'compete and stand out'. It is a publicly funded body and it should know that feeding the minds of young people is a serious loving responsibility. We ourselves have passed this responsibility on to the BBC and it has no business leaving it to the mercies of a money-grubbing market.
Finally, let me offer you the following serious thought. Suppose, if you will, that I am part of a silent Martian invasion and that my intention is slowly to destroy the whole culture of the human race. Where would I start?
I would naturally start where thought first grows. I would start with children's television. My policy would be to give the children only the sort of thing that they 'already know they enjoy' like a fizzing diet of manic jelly-babies. This would no doubt be exciting, but their hearts and their minds would receive no nourishment, they would come to know nothing of the richness of human life, love and knowledge, and slowly whole generations would grow up knowing nothing about anything but violence and personal supremacy.
Is that a fairy-tale? Look around you.
Oliver Postgate, 2003
Thank you. I hope the BBC execs have read that!
It helps if you can read it so that you can mentally hear Oliver Postgate's incomparable vocal delivery. They may be able to create new Clangers programmes, but I seriously doubt that they can find someone with the perfect voice to narrate them.
Postgate, David Davis, Alistair Cooke, ... is it my imagination, or are there fewer great voices these days?