Ellison ditches own cloud keynote for billionaires' America's Cup boat race Oracle OpenWorld turned into Oracle SnubWorld on Tuesday, when Larry Ellison ditched his hotly anticipated speech on Oracle's cloud strategy so that he could watch his boat race in the hugely expensive America's Cup. The swap-out of Larry Ellison for senior product management veep Thomas Kurian was met first with muffled …
Meh. Keynotes suck anyway. Unless you're doing near real-time journalism and/or an analyst (or hero worshiper) nothing gets said that won't wait a day. Besides you can get better seats at the preferred watering hole if you establish your beachhead during the speech.
Ellison probably would have been extra dicky anyway, if he had to miss his boat race. His speeches are nearly unbearable on a good day.
This asshole tried to sue Google and lost.
The inevitable result: Is anyone even aware it's JavaOne this week? Last time I caught their podcast (2012), even the Java Posse were openly saying they were considering skipping it now. More fail evidence? The JavaOne app is for ... Android and iPhone.
More details on this incident are still coming in...
The unwanted 'Ask Toolbar' was attached to the Oracle boat with a long thin rope. The rope was long enough that the impact of the Ask Toolbar was delayed for ten minutes. This unethical trick made detection of the giant 'Ask Toolbar' by the Oracle boat crew much more difficult. They were well into the race before they noticed something wrong.
The Oracle boat was dragged off course by the hidden underwater giant 'Ask Toolbar' attached to the underside of the boat. The boat crashed off course and got tangled up in some advertising banners lining the course.
It's mayhem.
>was met first with muffled complaints by the packed keynote crowd, quickly followed by a mass exodus as attendees streamed out of the keynote theatre.
Classic. I wonder if Oracle will be sending out emails tomorrow reminding their workforce they can view the keynote online. Someone might want to stop that automated email lol.
My opinion only, but every keynote speech I've ever heard was nothing more than advertisement, that the audience paid to hear, and got to be part of the recorded audience for other dickheads to watch saying "I know that dickhead." Oh the light show and music are great, aided by the open bar on the way in and the cheerleaders leading up to...the keynote.
If you're lucky during smoko a near-god will accidentally find him/herself near you to spout some story about how this company is destined for greatness, or more greatness, or continual greatness, depending on how long the company has basked in the greatness of greatness. And when will you decide to buy?
They're great parties, huh? As long as you can hold your chunder they are. Seen one, seen 'em all. How can I quickly get away from this one before I hurl and still claim my expenses?
Your company is stagnating because of competition from SaaS vendors, and you bail out to watch the America's Cup? Don't you think that appearing in front of your most important customers and prospects to assure them of Oracle's cloud strategy is more important than watching a boat race--even if you forked over tens of millions on the boat?
The caption on that pic should read something abrasive including words like "Heil" and "Me".
Dumbass.
I hope the walkouts from the "keynote" show their appreciation of his "I could not care less" attitude with a "I will not pay for your shit" purchasing decision.
no really, if i was him (or at least have his bankaccount) i wouldn't give it a second thought either.
I'd choose boats, chicks, and fresh sea air over a packed and smelly theater room any day of the week, wouldn't you?
the boats go (and will be replaced by, say, formula one cars), but the customers will keep paying regardless :P
being a racing yachtsman myself I may have a bias, but I know what id rather do...
Keynote speech or watch my million $ yacht win the final race of the Americas cup and clinch the overall title after coming back from a 7-1 defeat...
or putting things another way.... room full of sweaty nerds or champagne and tier 1 chicks....
Id take the racing any day!
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2025
