back to article Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

Fanbois have once again queued to obtain the new iPhone in Australia, where an accident of time zones means punters willing to do without sleep can be among the very first in the world to play with Apple's latest. The Reg dropped in to Apple Store Broadway, a Cupertinian outpost in a small mall on the fringe of Sydney's …

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  1. Julian 3
    Paris Hilton

    Strewth Bruce that iPhone 5C is crap!

    Somehow I expected more enthusiasm from the Apple fans for the 5C. Its is made of Holy Plastic after all!

    Paris cos even she wouldn't be seen dead with a 5C.

    1. Charles Manning

      No more Jobs factor

      Let's face it, Jobs was a large part of the whole Apple hype/cult that created fanboi-ism. Jobs could sell a turd in a bun if he wanted to.

      The loss of Jobs has severely diminished the fanboi-ism and customers are starting to be vaguely rational in their purchases.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Jobs could sell a turd in a bun ...

        He did, he did.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No more Jobs factor

        How long before an iPhone launch is accompanied by a holographic Steve Jobs (Tupac Style) in order to try and restore some the magic? I am being serious!

      3. t.est

        Re: No more Jobs factor

        Or has Steve Balmer secretly become the new CEO at Apple, after he now leavs MS?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No no no, the 5C will sell.

      It has been aimed at the Girlie market, these young ladies love colour while the tech savvy who formed the queues were pretty much all male. Over the next year just wait and see how many day Glo phones appear........

      Lack of first day sales isn't important.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "It has been aimed at the Girlie market"

        I'm sure you're right, and that it will sell, and that first day sales aren't the real deal.

        But I did wonder how many in the queue were shamed by the "show of hands" request, and having arrived hoping to buy a 5C actually ended up walking home with a 5S. After all, Apple, it's all about peer pressure.

      2. hplasm
        WTF?

        " the tech savvy who formed the queues"

        Whaaat?

        A new spin on the words 'tech' and 'savvy' perhaps?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      But but but

      Not selling?

      The Gold iphone now has undisclosed delivery dates on the iStore as sometime in October.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    It's not a phone...

    ...it's a religious experience.

    And they call Scientologists gullible.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: It's not a phone...

      "A few minutes before launch they ran out into the mall, whooping ecstatically as they tore past the queue in a two-abreast formation"

      "Next, a staffer assembled the staff into a gauntlet and exhorted them to chant something that aounded like a corporate mantra explaining how Apple goes about its business."

      Apple Dogma...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's not a phone...

      Apple Corp, Scientologists..... what a bunch of cults.

  3. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
    Headmaster

    "One chap we met in the queue, 28-year-old software engineer Ajeya, brandished a Nexus 5 he intended to replace with an iPhone 5s."

    I suspect Google will want to know about that!

    1. ThomH Silver badge

      The iPhone 5s introduces integrated Nike Fuelband. The Nexus 5 introduces integrated time travel.

    2. LarsG

      @Sorry that handle is already taken

      "I suspect Google will want to know about that!"

      Google already know ...........

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Andrew Jones 2

    One guy in the queue brandished a phone that doesn't officially exist yet

    "One chap we met in the queue, 28-year-old software engineer Ajeya, brandished a Nexus 5 he intended to replace with an iPhone 5s. He'd moved from an iPhone to Android, found an HTC One unsatisfactory and decided to come back."

    Wow! Lucky guy has he sold his doesn't-actually-exist-yet-officially Nexus 5? I can think of quite a number of people who would like to get hold of that.....

    Unless of course what you meant to say was Nexus 4 - in which case, I have one of those already.

  5. julianh72
    WTF?

    Trading in a Nexus 5 already?

    "One chap we met in the queue, 28-year-old software engineer Ajeya, brandished a Nexus 5 he intended to replace with an iPhone 5s. "

    Wow! Didn't take him long to work out the iPhone 5s is "better"! Already trading in a Nexus 5 - which doesn't even come out until next month, if the rumours are to be believed!

    1. W.O.Frobozz

      Re: Trading in a Nexus 5 already?

      If the reporting is accurate, we call people like this "hired actors." I

  6. tempemeaty

    Giggles

    You do what you have to for your job. If I worked at an Apple store I'd be right in there with 'em doing my best not to laugh. That said, the video of them doing that pep-rally thing before opening did make me laugh. I guess I don't take stuff like that to seriously. I just hope the quality stays in Apple products because I may need to buy one of their ipods or ipads or something some day.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Don't laugh!

      Under Jobs, your Cult Conviction wouldn't have been so lackadaisical

    2. Cliff

      Re: Giggles

      I have vague memories of south park poking fun at this

      1. Cliff

        Re: Giggles

        I love it, I get a downvote for referencing an episode of a satirical cartoon that made fun of 'genius' incantations. Interweb is a funny place.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Giggles

      David Brent and Steve Ballmer came to mind watching the staff gee up

      :-D

  7. Dr Zoidberg

    How embarassment.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Told ya...

    If the 5C is rejected by the Bruce Brigade, then it hasn't got a hope in Hell in The Designer Lable Kingdom.

    I'm not sure if World+Dog all insist on buying the more expensive 5Social over the 5Cheap, that Apple would consider this to be a Very Bad Thing.

  9. Sampler

    to be fair..

    ..if you're going to buy a 5c you're not likely to be that bothered to camp over night (like the loons outside the Bondi Junction store I walked past last night, glass front adorned in duck-taped black-out curtains in a very cheap looking manner) or those who queued around two blocks for the CBD store and were on my works doorstep when I came in this morning.

    You'll probably wait until Sunday, as you can't afford to take the time off work to get the latest shiny shiny and have to wait until your one free day in the week to pay for the lowest entry point your months of scrimping allows you to get..

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy Clappy Crappy

    My goodness, how on earth can people be so vacuous as to happily chant a company song/slogan?

    1. Lottie

      Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

      IBM used to have a company song book for the staff to sing from at employee assemblies every morning.

      I guess it's a tech tradition to some?

      1. GreyWolf

        Re: IBM Songbook

        That was so long ago that anyone who actually experienced it is now in their grave (or balancing on the lip thereof).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: IBM Songbook

          I heard about the IBM company song - is there a copy? I'd love to play it at our next team meeting to get the guys roused up and ready to kick some HP / Oracle Ass.

          As soon as they managed to compose themselves that is.

          1. Anonymous IV

            Re: IBM Songbook

            Look for "Ever Onward" on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9oh3gqOEKU

            It sounds like it was recorded about 1925...

    2. Magnus Ramage

      Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

      They don't have to be happy with it, just to chant it. Perhaps they simply want to keep their jobs? People have had to do many worse things in the name of corporate conformity.

      A better question might be why people can be so vacuous as to require others to chant a company song.

      1. graeme leggett

        Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

        "Perhaps they simply want to keep their jobs?"

        Ah, the Cthulhu approach - join in with the devotions or else.....

        1. Atonnis

          Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

          Sounds about right for Apple...particularly their fanbois.

    3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

      Share and Enjoy!

    4. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

      Well, it's not really the company song. It's about motivating sales staff to do their job and it can be successful in that - that's one of the reasons for chants and huddles in some sports matches. The sense of purpose and togetherness - however fleeting - is infectious and good for sales. Be honest, wouldn't you rather buy something from an enthusiastic, helpful and happy sales person than from a surly, truculent, pimply-faced one.

      1. Zack Mollusc

        Re: Happy Clappy Crappy

        Chants and huddles would in no way give me a sense of purpose and togetherness. An acute sense of shame and embarrassment, maybe.

  11. Mr. Peterson

    whaddaya mean we haven't got any money!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AC/DC

    Hands up if you never queued for a concert

    1. julianh72
      Paris Hilton

      Re: AC/DC

      There's a huge difference between queuing for tickets for a concert vs queuing for an iPhone:

      Once the concert is sold out, it's sold out. If there's one show, and you don't get tickets for it, you don't get to see the show.

      If you miss getting an iPhone on release day - just go back the next day - or next week - or next year. (iPhones don't actually change all that much from one year to the next anyway!)

      (Paris because I'd queue overnight to see Paris Hilton's next "home movie"!)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: AC/DC

        You would queue overnight to see Paris Hilton's next "home movie"?

        I hope not. I really hope not.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One good thing to say about all the fanfare about these Apple new Product Releases...

    ... is that they provide employment for out-of-work actors

  14. adroxx

    David

    Can the David that was first in line please contact me? @adroxx

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: David

      I can be David

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: David

        I am a David, and I've been first in line in many queues, will I do?

        1. toxicdragon

          Re: David

          I'm David, and so is my wife.

          1. Rick Eastwood

            Re: David

            Damnit, you beat me to it !!!

    2. Rick Eastwood

      Re: David

      I'm David and so's my wife

  15. PudgeFacker

    The next time I'm embarassed about what I do for a living...

    I'm going to play that video again. PS what I do for a living is similar to what you do, Simon.

  16. WinHatter

    I can hear the Queen saying

    "Is he alright ???"

    Looking at Mr Motivational Blue in that video.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can hear the Queen saying

      I find "motivational" stuff sickening and demotivating.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can hear the Queen saying

      And his yank accent makes one cringe. It's Sydney, Australia. I suppose they could not find an Australian idiotic enough to behave like that even for money. I do nothing when ordered by an American on sheer principal, at least not in that kind of accent.

  17. JDX Gold badge

    Note that

    none of the people deriding the 5C have actually seen one in the flesh, let alone touched it. Apple surely could do with passing one around inside the shop!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Note that

      That isn't the point.

      Anandtech has shown that the 5s genuinely is a very advanced product - forget the 64 bits, the Apple-designed Arm variant is very, very fast indeed, as are the graphics. I wouldn't buy one myself (too fragile, battery life too short, and complete overkill for what I actually need), but why would I pay almost as much for the very inferior 5c? It isn't hard to guess which one will have the fastest depreciation, for a start.

      Other manufacturers have a much bigger price ratio between models with equivalent specification difference. The 5c is simply very poor value for money.

  18. Bob From Marketing

    Meh!

    Think I'll wait a year.

  19. Peter Gordon

    *sigh*

    I'd queue for a Palm Pre 4. But then i'd probably be the only one, so it wouldn't really be a queue :(

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: *sigh*

      There would be two of us. I fired up my old Pre 2 the other day to see if it still worked. Well, it does, kind of, and it now seems very slow. But the UI still seems better than any other, as an actual mobile phone. It doesn't get in the way, it doesn't try to impress you with its awesomeness, it just does what it does quickly, simply and very consistently.

      1. Peter Gordon

        Re: *sigh*

        That is exactly why I still use my Pre 3 as my only phone. I've never found any other phone UI to be so fluid, it just never feels like it gets in the way.

        I am the technical support for my family, and between them they have various Android, Windows Phone and iPhones, and it always feels nice to use the Pre 3 after using their phones...

  20. dougal83

    To a normal person all the w00ting from the smurfs would put me off buying a phone. Actually I lie I wouldn't buy one! Wonder if that dude is selling his nexus...

  21. The FunkeyGibbon

    It never ceases to amaze me

    I never understand why people want to be 'first' with these things.

    [OldMan] Back in my day we called 'em early adopters and they worked out the bugs for the rest of us, hehe![/OldMan]

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    5C...

    I'm the only one seeing the acronym 5Crap?

    1. Anonymous IV

      Re: 5C...

      And, pray, what acronym do you see for the 5S...?

      1. Tim Bates

        Re: 5C...

        LOL - I pointed out at work one day (with the help of about 60 seconds in MS Paint) that the iPhone4's promotional material was very easy to modify to say "ShitPhone4"... Big white Sans Serif font on a plain black background was far too inviting.

  23. Anthony Hulse

    Of course those people don't want the 5c

    It's aimed at being a Christmas present for all those teens and other halves moving up from an iPod Touch. Anyone stupid enough to camp out on product launch day (for anything, not just Apple products) is going to want the latest and greatest, not last year's model rebadged.

    BTW, the 5c will sell by the bucketload. Not amongst techies of course, but in its millions nonetheless.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

      BTW, the 5c will sell by the bucketload. Not amongst techies of course

      The inference being that the kind of losers who queue up outside the Apple store on the release morning are "techies", rather than coffee shop workers and graphic design students (which is what a survey of last years queue outside the Regent Street Apple store discovered).

      1. Anthony Hulse

        Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

        "Techies" doesn't necessarily have to mean IT workers.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

          "Techies" might not mean IT workers, but it probably doesn't apply to most people who'd queue overnight to get a phone that will be obseleted by its maker within a year either.

          Of the people I know who own iPhones, one is jewellery designer, one a social carer, one a graphic designer, one a software tester, and one a receptionist. Of those, only the software tester could be remotely considered to be 'techie'. Given that I work as a developer for a software firm, and everyone else here pretty much has an Android phone, the relationship between 'techie' and 'Apple' seems to be that if you're a techie, you don't choose iPhone, at least round here.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

            There was a fashion at one time for developers to buy Macbook Pros (and put Windows and Linux on them as alternative OSes). If you did a lot of travelling it made sense, because the nearest Windows equivalents in spec terms tended to be very large and very heavy. Of course, if you actually need two hard drives, they weren't an option.

            I suspect this is where it all started; developers automatically bought iPhones because they assumed they would have the same technical benefits as the Pro, and the status thing kicked in. Allow for the usual lag between early adopters and mainstream perception, and developers are probably well past iPhone peak but the ancillary staff are still on the way up.

            Why do I find this interesting? I'm outing myself; I once studied sociology of religion (really) and I still keep it up a bit as a kind of hobby. It's sometimes interesting to read the comments on, say, BGR, and compre them to the sort of stuff posted by evangelical Christians and obsessive Catholics. I do really think that for some people, mobile phones have become a religion substitute. All the mechanisms of anticipation, fulfilment, discussing with like minded people, identifying enemy outgroups and rubbishing them exist in both cases. The only difference is that one is not based on imaginary concepts, other than the use of j in wave equations.

  24. ukgnome

    The 5c is still a great phone

    It's just fugly and too expensive.

    But if I had the cash I would buy a green one.

  25. Dave K Silver badge

    But it's just a cheapened iPhone 5!

    The iPhone 5C is just an iPhone 5 in a cheaper plastic case (and a slightly different battery). All the fanboys that queue up for a new phone will almost certainly already have iPhone 5s, so of course they're not buying a cheaper version of what they all have. They'll all be wanting the 5S. The 5C is not aimed at the queue-for-several-days fanatic, so I'm not surprised that few people in the queue want one.

  26. chiller

    Queuing for a phone?

    No, this is not a dream.

  27. James Gosling

    Queuing...

    Can't you just phone them to order or something? And there's that new fangled t'internet thing too!

  28. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Happy

    "We observed a lot of grim-faced buyers counting out thick wads of cash"

    You phone is in the laundry.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The video with the motivational guy

    I actually found quite promising, most of the staff had their "Oh god not this bollocks again" expressions on, seemed it was just one or two of the female staff who seemed to be screaming wildly on queue, the rest of them bore the expression like "Is it over yet?".

    Loved Mr Motivational's style, shirt tail hanging out at the back and sweater sleeves rolled up to show shirt sleeves, guy obviously subscribes to GQ lmao

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: The video with the motivational guy

      There was lots of milling about, and not very much motivating happening there.

      I guess the guy was a holiday rep for Club 18-30, and now he's gone "up in the world" to working for Apple.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder

    Half an hour before launch, staff repeatedly formed a circle and chanted something.

    Hail satan, who art in hades

    The iPhone is with thee

    Hated are thou amongst the living

    And hated is the fruit of your labours, iPhone.

    Hated Satan, advocate of Jobs,

    Aid us sinners

    Now at teh hour of Apples death.

    Amen.

  31. This post has been deleted by its author

  32. FlingoBingo

    That video is fcking mental.

  33. smartypants
    Pint

    I for one welcome this new religion

    The advantages:

    1) Don't try to cling to control of schools, seats in the house of lords etc. to perpetuate their world view

    2) So far at least, not at all bothered by people's sexuality

    3) Absolutely no idiotic dogma about 'the role of women in society'

    4) The religious claims about reality are at least rooted in fact some of the time. The Jesus phone really does exist, for example, which is more than can be said of the usual subject of worship in religious cults.

    5) We are still allowed to have a bit of a giggle about the adherents of this religion without them going all po-faced and strutting around demanding respect.

    6) Nobody in this religion yet seems the desire to relieve other people of their freedom or life in pursuit of their religious views.

    (Wind history forward a hundred years, and perhaps the religion will have developed to be as tedious as many others, perhaps...)

    1. Paw Bokenfohr

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      I'd give more than one upvote if I could.

      If this is a new religion, as El Reg seems to insist on pushing, then it's pretty much the least harmful of any religion ever. Even Buddhists sometimes set themselves on fire. Applosians (TM me) haven't been known to do that - they simply BELIEVE and let everyone else get on with their lives other than the occasional sly evangelising.

      1. Mark .

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        Least harmful indeed, but sadly becoming one with the most evangelism - from individuals, to product placement in almost every TV show, film and advert, and other mentions about every 10 minutes, and the prominent logos everywhere.

        Thankfully a situation when a bank or other company only caters for say Christians is now illegal - but if it's a religion, can we put a stop to only providing an app for iphone users? It's like "Designed for IE" all over again, except at least IE once was the number one browser...

      2. Jediben

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        "Applosians haven't been known to do that"

        Real life begs to differ:

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/06/20/danger_as_exploding_macbook_pro_battery_is_recalled/

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/03/01/apple_sued_for_exploding_ipod_touch/

        Coolaid - you have too much of it.

      3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        Even Buddhists sometimes set themselves on fire.

        Don't worry, your iPhone can do that for you:

        http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2012/07/iphone-catches-fire-on-camera-in-finnish-mans-back-pocket/

    2. silent_count

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      "1) Don't try to cling to control of schools.. "

      Their religion is parasitic. Instead of building their own schools, their disciples are trying to get their prayer tablets into secular schools under the guise of 'improving education outcomes' or similar twaddle.

    3. P. Lee Silver badge

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      I for one welcome this new religion

      The advantages:

      1) Don't try to cling to control of schools, seats in the house of lords etc. to perpetuate their world view

      I think you'll find the religion you mock was the one which *started* these schools because it views education as important. It also views politicians as susceptible to corruption and has been an important counterbalance to the knee-jerk, soundbite politics which have been destroying our freedoms over the last several governments. If anything, the churchmen in the Lords need criticising for not doing enough to protect the "orphans, widows and strangers in the land."

      2) So far at least, not at all bothered by people's sexuality

      Nope, not bothered by other people's sexual behaviour. I am irritated by other people ordering me around in terms of what I should approve of, how I raise my children and redefining words to give them new meanings as a form of social engineering, but I'm not really bothered by what they do at home.

      3) Absolutely no idiotic dogma about 'the role of women in society'

      You mean as the hub of industry and commerce, social work? Worth more than rubies, should be listened to by everyone, worthy of honour? (Proverbs 31:10-31) Perhaps you mean the fact that husbands are to love them to the point of sacrificing themselves for their wives good? (Ephesians 5:25)

      4) The religious claims about reality are at least rooted in fact some of the time. The Jesus phone really does exist, for example, which is more than can be said of the usual subject of worship in religious cults.

      You think Jesus never existed? You might want to go and have a chat to Dawkins about that.

      5) We are still allowed to have a bit of a giggle about the adherents of this religion without them going all po-faced and strutting around demanding respect.

      Giggle, giggle if you want to. ;) I have yet to find another philosophical system which can provide a coherent, logical justification for being nice. If you think humans are naturally good, look at Syria and Kenya today; Cambodia, Russia and America in the past; China the UK and pretty much every country. Christianity says that people are made "in the image of God," which implies a great deal of respect. It is the non-christians who suggest that people are just animals.

      6) Nobody in this religion yet seems the desire to relieve other people of their freedom or life in pursuit of their religious views.

      (Wind history forward a hundred years, and perhaps the religion will have developed to be as tedious as many others, perhaps.

      If you read the bible, you'd find it says to tell people why and how God is good and if they won't listen, shake the dust off your feet and move on. Anything else isn't christian. I do notice that a couple running a B&B received death-threats from (presumably) non-christians because they wouldn't specifically support behaviour they disapproved of. Intolerance does indeed appear to be on the rise. You can do as you wish, but don't ask me to support you.

      No really, I don't welcome new religions. They tend to be rubbish and far more degrading than the old one.

      /grumpy-rant

      (I know, it was probably supposed to be a funny, trolling post, but ignorant piety deserves some response, or else it is just an advert for ignorance.)

  34. Duffaboy

    I will be proved right again.

    I called it right on the XBOX one. and I will go on record here the 5C will receive a price reduction very soon

  35. Dick Pountain

    Relevant?

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/20/masturbating-public-laughing-matter-sweden?CMP=twt_gu

  36. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    "Most of those in the queue didn't bother: they knew what they wanted. A new iPhone. Nothing else mattered."

    ...Or maybe, a brain cell between them?

  37. dssf

    Report of a Disingenuous, INGENIOUS Experience

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/20/homeless-recruited-to-buy-iphones/2844979/

    "A businessman scheming to get his profit-minded hands on dozens of new iPhones allegedly recruited about 100 homeless people from Skid Row in Los Angeles to wait in line overnight at the Pasadena Apple Store, but many were left unpaid and stranded after his plan was exposed, local media reported Friday.

    The unidentified reseller had offered $40 to each hired hand who bought an iPhone for him, which he bragged about to others in the line of about 200 people, the San Gabriel Valley Tribune reported. When they learned of the scheme, store personnel stopped selling the latest iPhone models to the homeless stand-ins."

    More at the URL

  38. leeCh
    WTF?

    All of this reminds me of "Black Books" and the Goliath Books" episode

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ur82EzkC11o#t=414

    "Huddle Time"

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