"Reports did not divulge how Lovell was caught."
With his pants down, presumably.
IT bloke denies trying to shag sheep outside football ground
An IT worker has appeared in court accused of trying to have sex with a sheep outside football club Tottenham Hotspur's training ground in North London. Paul Lovell, of Magpie Close, Enfield, North London, faces a charge of indecent exposure under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 as well as a further charge of outraging public …
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Friday 20th September 2013 06:14 GMT dssf
Re: Caught on CCTV Bhaaadddd bad bhhhaaadddd badd
Ewwwe, how .... Baaaad
Perhaps, end-descent exxsposure while attempting to spin a white web inside the white webb sheep caught a tension of with/due to a lot of
Bhaaadddd
bad
bhhhaaadddd
badd
Bhaaadddd
bad
bhhhaaadddd
badd
Baaddd to da bohn.....
talk about "ten ding sheep...
Old buggerer....
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Friday 20th September 2013 06:14 GMT dssf
Re: IT gets lonely.
He probably had a lack of ram due to being kicked by a rack of lamb....
Reminds me of high school in Texas, maybe 7th or 8th grade:
How does a cowboy f*3k a sheep?
Oh, I don't know. How?
Put the left leg in the left boot, right leg in the right boot, raise the sheep's front legs skyward, and walk to the edge of a cliff. The sheep will keep backing up trying to live.
Some would respond with "Ewe", only to be met with, "Rightttt..."
I wondered where some of these kids learned things....
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Thursday 19th September 2013 11:24 GMT An ominous cow herd
Joke icon
A IT guy asked a friend to recommend an attorney to defend him against a charge of bestiality.
"I know a great trial lawyer," the fellow said, "but he's expensive and doesn't know how to pick a jury. I know another lawyer," he continued, "who' s not a great trial lawyer, but he's cheap and really knows how to pick a jury."
The IT guy settled on the cheap attorney, but immediately had second thoughts when the key witness began his testimony. "I saw that man mount his sheep from behind," he said, "and when he was finished, I saw the sheep turn around and lick his pecker."
The accused IT guy was devastated and had all but given up hope of acquittal, when a juror in overalls whispered to the fellow next to him, "You know, a good sheep will do that."
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Thursday 19th September 2013 11:25 GMT John 156
I don't think this is a suitable topic for the Register. However, my dad told me that when he was a village kid in Yorkshire, a farmworker was brought before the magistrate for having carnal knowledge of a sow; he was fined £5. After that the village kids used to follow him around making grunting noises.
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Thursday 19th September 2013 13:28 GMT Anonymous Coward
"...a farmworker was brought before the magistrate for having carnal knowledge of a sow; he was fined £5."
Ahhh... happy times. It's ten grand, public vilification in perpetuity and a couple of years of sodomy these days.
Not suggesting there's anything wrong with a couple of years of sodomy of course...
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Thursday 19th September 2013 12:01 GMT gazthejourno
Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®
If he works for one of the big firms then that makes it slightly newsworthier to Reg readers. What are you more likely to read: "bloke accused of shagging sheep" or "BIG IT VENDOR bloke accused of shagging sheep" - subtext of the last part being, "did I ever work with this guy?"
Of course, he's innocent until proven guilty and as he's opted for a jury trial at Crown court I wish him the best of luck in arguing his case. The evidential threshold needed to charge someone with a criminal offence is less than that needed to convict, remember.
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Thursday 19th September 2013 16:15 GMT Miek
Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®
Other news sites are running their articles with a picture of the guy in his splendid turquoise jumper and brown suit. If you've worked with him, you might recognise him ....
Deep Linked (my bad?) (YES!!!! -moderator)
Nice jumper, shame about the woolly-willy-warmer.
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Thursday 19th September 2013 19:41 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ®
Of course I'd rather hear the name of the Welshwoman who knocked herself out with passion pants, but bizarrely she wasn't even prosecuted, and her name was covered up.
So I was thinking of w*nking myself unconscious in my local Tesco, to test to see if
a. My name isn't printed.
b. The police don't even arrest me.
c. The CPS don't charge me.
d. I'm not sentenced and fined,
This way it will prove that the Judiciary aren't all bigots.
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Friday 20th September 2013 13:26 GMT Intractable Potsherd
Re: Do you know which IT firm Lovell works for? Email me and spill the beans. ® @ Khaptain
Ewelet Pack-hard, shurely.
Since I don't know the area of Borisstan in question, can anyone tell me what the likelihood is of
coming acrossfinding sheep on the street? Maybe the brown suited, turquoise jumpered accused is the victim here ...
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Thursday 19th September 2013 12:59 GMT Anonymous Coward
Political correctness
In a post which was held for moderation (and which I've withdrawn) I commented that we who are condemned by place of birth to be Tottenham supporters may have an opprobrious nickname derived from a Hebrew word which gives its name to a German/Hebrew language variant (which gets chanted at opposing teams), but at least we don't interfere with sheep.
I find it amusing that an entire article can be devoted to accusations of bestiality, but the excessive sensitivity of the Football Association (none of whom have ever behaved in a politically incorrect way, ever) and the Board of Deputies means that a rather harmless bit of football banter is now subject to moderation. Oh wey. They'll have to go round renaming Leo Rosten's great book "The joys of Germano-Hebraic".
I guess I might not even be able to make a remark about the alleged perpetrator not being Jewish because, obviously, he's a farmer's goy?
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Thursday 19th September 2013 14:19 GMT James Micallef
Re: Political correctness
The FA are sodding idiots, and keep on proving it over and over again. Context matters - that's why black people are "allowed" to say N.... without giving offence, while if a white person says the same word it's scandalous. Spurs supporters singing that they're the Y army is not the same as anyone else using the Y word as a slur.
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Thursday 19th September 2013 19:43 GMT 080
In the country
A few years ago a chap from west of here was caught "In flagrante delicto" with a particularly good looking sheep, apparently in that area is is social suicide to be caught with an ugly sheep, and was hauled up in front of the beak.
The magistrate said "You have been a baad baad boy and you mutton do it again" and fined him £5
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Friday 20th September 2013 06:14 GMT MrDamage
Obligatory
If you're havin trouble with you barnyard friends
Youve got a thing for ewes
Been countin sheep but you're not in bed
Heres what you gotta do:
Get out the barn stay off the farm!
Go read a nursery rhyme.
Don't ring 976-BAAA
That kind of loves a crime! Hey,
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
My friend Larry has a little lamb
Her fleece is white as snow.
He keeps braggin bout her night and day
Someone should tell him, No,
Look at the flock they're all in shock!
Here comes that mutton fan.
Knock off the fleece Give them some peace.
Don't be a barn door man! No.
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds. Little Bo Peep!
Dirty deeds, done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Dirty deeds, and they're done with sheep!
Velcro gloves Knee pads Late-night dates
Done with sheep!
Warning signs Electric fences High Voltage!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Don't tell em what Ive done to you!
Done with sheep!
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds
Dirty deeds, done with sheep! Aaaargh!
(Quiet, girls! I think the shepherds coming!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
