THE TRUTH about beaver arse milk in your cakes: There's nothing vanilla about vanilla

Sweden's food watchdog has confirmed to horrified netizens that, yes, ooze from beavers' back-passages is used to add a vanilla flavour to cakes, ice creams and drinks - and has been for years. A yellowish secretion called castoreum is extracted from the animals' scent-laying anal glands, and is sometimes mixed into perfumes …

[Sampler]

Contemplating getting the carton for the vanilla protein shake I had this morning out the bin and checking the ingredients now..

[LarsG]

Come on

Where the hell do you find a beaver to get its arse juice?

Damn that is so perverted, this will surely be banned as was the use of hamsters and toilet rolls by EU directive 234/45.ARS3/Y0R-UP/342-2

Has anyone asked the beavers for their opinion?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Come on

> Has anyone asked the beavers for their opinion?

Rumour has it they rather enjoy the process.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Come on

"Has anyone asked the beavers for their opinion?"

Since they're dead, skinned, and dried out I suspect they're rather quiet on the hole, er... whole.

[Marvin the Martian]

Re: Where the hell do you find a beaver...?

There's one living in the West Country; a batch of three escaped and only two were caught, a few years ago. The remaining one was recently spotted near Nuneaton.

I don't remember if it was a male or not, so you have a 50-50 chance.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Where the hell do you find a beaver...?

two were caught, a few years ago. The remaining one was recently spotted near Nuneaton.

So the other two were eaten?

[monkeyfish]

Re: Come on

234/45.ARS3/Y0R-UP/342-2

An arse directive on hamster toilet roll? fhur-fhur.

[Peter Simpson 1]

Re: Come on

I call BS.

There's no way catching beavers is easier or cheaper than growing vanilla plants. The number of beavers required to meet the world demand for natural vanilla flavor would be astronomical.

Sorry, but this has "urban legend" written all over it.

// Bull $#!#, not "beaver scent"

[tomban]

Re: Come on

According to Wikipedia:

"While it is mainly used in both foods and beverages as part of a substitute vanilla flavour, it is less commonly used as a part of a raspberry or strawberry flavoring. The annual industry consumption is very low, around 300 pounds, whereas vanillin is over 2.6 million pounds annually"

Still, 300 pounds is an awful lot of beavers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Come on

> There's no way catching beavers is easier or cheaper than growing vanilla plants.

There is no way those who process dead beaver would not try to extract every last scent they could from the dead animal. If this includes selling its dead arse juices as vanilla flavouring then that is exactly what they will do.

[JeffyPoooh]

Re: Come on

"...extract every last scent..."

I see what you did there. Good one - intentional or not.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Come on

I was wondering. Could it April 1st? No: this is just too unlikely, nobody would even begin to believe it.

Then I realised... it's no more unlikely than musk.

[shrdlu]

Re: Come on

Vanilla beans will be cheaper than castoreum but still too expensive for most purposes. Commercially vanillin is made from wood pulp. It's a by-product of the paper-making industry. So you should only expect castoreum in very high-end organic foods and the most expensive perfumes. The most expensive perfumes also use musk collected from the scent-glands of musk-oxen and civet cats. You definitely won't find musk in a vanilla protein shake.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Come on

"You definitely won't find musk in a vanilla protein shake."

I'd better not - he's supposed to be working on space rockets and supersonic trains!

[KrisMac]

Re: Come on

No, No, No! The most expensive perfumes use whale snot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambergris

[SolidSquid]

Re: Come on

Depends on how strong it is. If one pound of beaver ass can be used to produce the equivalent of 100 pounds of vanilla based flavourings then it might be cheaper in the long run

[AVee]

Re: Come on

"I call BS."

Nope. A dutch TV program which tracks origins of consumer products to show how they are created dug into this earlier this year. And yeah, the stuff exists, is being collected from killed beavers and being sold as a natural flavor. Getting a food producer to admit they use it turned out to be a different story, but the stuff exists and is being sold.

The two episodes covering this are online here:

http://keuringsdienstvanwaarde.kro.nl/seizoenen/2013/afleveringen/14-03-2013

http://keuringsdienstvanwaarde.kro.nl/seizoenen/2013/afleveringen/21-03-2013

The program is in Dutch, but contains some stuff (the start of the second episode) which takes place in Canada which are in English (with dutch subs). It shows a Canadian trader with a shed full of dried anal glands...

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: Come on

This place is crawling with them - national symbol and biggest pest.

[Nym]

Re: Come on

Do you know what beaver means in American slang?

[Anonymous Coward]

Contemplating getting the carton for the vanilla protein shake I had this morning out the bin and checking the ingredients now..

You'll regret it...

[csmac3144]

There is nothing that comes out of a beaver's arse that I don't already love.

[veti]

On the ingredients list, it usually appears as "natural flavouring", or "natural flavoring" if you're Left-pondside. There are strict rules about what you can call "vanilla", but almost none about what you can call "flavo(u)ring".

[Anonymous Coward]

Sampler: "Contemplating getting the carton for the vanilla protein shake I had this morning out the bin and checking the ingredients now.."

The vanilla's okay, but you don't want to know where they got the protein from.

Peter Simpson 1: "Bull $#!#, not "beaver scent""

No, no- they use bulls**t as *strawberry* flavouring.

Anyway, I don't see that this should be news to our Scandinavian friends- I once owned^w saw a Swedish video that was an hour of some guy doing nothing but eat beaver.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mmmmm....

That made me hungry.

Think I'll have a nice "vanilla" icecream this evening to follow my usual garum and andouille supper.

[Denarius]

and I thought that luwak coffee was a bad idea

now icecream is off the menu. Where will it end, no lets rephrase that, what delight next becomes disgusting ? Wont some-one think of the children ?

[Frankee Llonnygog]

Re: and I thought that luwak coffee was a bad idea

vanilla latte, anyone?

[Robert Carnegie]

Luwak coffee - a question

Just curious - are vegans allowed to have that or not? It comes from the animal obviously, but it isn't something that the animal wanted to keep. I would still guess no, though.

The flavouring from dead beaver bum can't be vegetarian, though.

[Lamont Cranston]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

Kopi Luwak is delicious, assuming you like coffee but dislike it's bitterness (you could, of course, obtain the same effect for less money by buying your coffee at Starbucks).

My wife's a vegetarian, but didn't see anything wrong with Kopi Luwak (apart from the whole "you're drinking brewed poo").

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

> Just curious - are vegans allowed to have that or not?

You know, when I was reading the article, that was the first thing that came to my mind.

"Ordinary" vegetarians even might even quail at a product derived from a killed animal. Does the packaging of otherwise vegetable products make it clear that there is arse milk form a dead beaver in the product?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

Answers:

Vegan - absolutely not. Out of the question, it is still sourced from an animal.

Vegetarian - it depends upon their personal level of adherence to strict vegetarian policies.

[Dave 126]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

Hehe, 'Poo' would be a suitable (if not commercially viable) name for a Twitter-like 'social media' service. My reasoning is that many animals use pee or poo to get messages out to their peers they are not currently in the presence of. If of you want to take this idea and turn it into a multi-billion dollar company, I only ask a 1% cut... I'll even throw in some tag-lines to get you started:

"Why say it when you can spray it?"

"Putting the Pee into people"

"Poople"

Of course, humans would want to expand the vocabulary of the medium beyond the three messages favoured by many mammals, ie "This is MINE!", "I'm feeling HORNY!" and "I have an interesting bowel condition". Or there again, that's enough to cover much of the human condition.

[R Callan]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

I must be a "good" vegetarian then. Everything I eat is of vegetable (plus fungal) origin, just that some of it is filtered through animals before i get it. I love cow filtered grass, but prefer to call it steak.

[sam bo]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

"Vegan - absolutely not. Out of the question, it is still sourced from an animal."

I would dispute that. It may have passed through an animals alimentary canal, but as the civet ate the bean-pulp and passed the bean, it could even be argued that it had not been "inside" the civet. Technically , your food is not "in" you until it has passed the lining of your gut and been absorbed into your bloodstream.

Think of your body as an elongated donut, with the outer layer the skin and the hole of the donut your digestive tract.

Wild Luwak coffee should be fine for vegans - caged civet luwak coffee should be ethically repugnant to all.

[No, I will not fix your computer]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

>>Vegan - absolutely not. Out of the question, it is still sourced from an animal.

The bean was never part of the animal, although you could claim that the labours of the animal are being exploited (commercially they are fed on the whole bean), but if that counts as animal product then so does any vegetable which has been farmed as you're using the labours of humans.

What if a bee fertilises your crop? are you exploiting the bee? does it cease to be vegan?

Any fertiliser that are used on fields actually go on to become part of the product (often blood/fish/bone sourced) or animal waste - thus making virtually no product vegan (under your definition).

What about water? that's probably been through many an animal in it's time.

So, when you say "absolutely not" - are you sure?

[Trixr]

Re: Luwak coffee - a question

Regarding the logic of what you say, it's obvious you're not a vegan - "absolutely not" is correct. Honey from bees is not permitted either by strict vegans.

Add to that the fact that the beasts are now mostly farmed to produce the "processed" beans - including feeding the coffee berries all the time, when it isn't their natural eating pattern - and it's double-fail.

I'm not a vegan, but at least I've spent some time understanding their principles rather than coming out with some half-baked "logic" out of my own arse. So to speak.

[Eddy Ito]

As an omnivore, may I say yum? I hated soaking those oily gamey buggars in a brine for a week. Granted, not so much lately as there are bigger game in "dem dar hills" that is far more lean and versatile in the woods.

[Sir Runcible Spoon]

Sir

People will be going off Caviar next.

[DJ 2]

Re: Sir

Or even chicken eggs.

[JimC]

s for that musk stuff

Or the civet cat glands...

[Khaptain]

Anal Ooze

Does this mean that at some point, someone caught a beaver, pulling various bits and pieces off , including the analy situated scent glands, squeezed them, waited for some ooze and actually though that it might be a good idea to eat.

And then decided it might be a good replacement for Vanilla.

[Phil O'Sophical]

Re: Anal Ooze

More likely some camp fire cookout [see icon], when the post-prandial discussion turned to the new cook's talents "that was a great stew, had a hint of vanilla". "Ah, you'll never guess what bit of the beaver smelled like that".

[Khaptain]

Re: Anal Ooze

That must have be the kind of camping outing where the scouts are still too young to understand that "Eating some beaver" doesn't actualy involve a small furry rodent.

[Destroy All Monsters]

Re: Anal Ooze

I will refrain from talking about beaver juice! At all.

[John Smith 19]

Hunt down the villanous abusers of this small rodent. I call for ..

a Beaver Patrol. *

*With apologies to the fans of Pop Will Eat Itself.

[AOD]

Re: Hunt down the villanous abusers of this small rodent. I call for ..

Have a +1 from me for the Poppies reference.

I will now have "Radio P.W.E.I" bouncing around in my head for the rest of the day.

[John Smith 19]

Many years ago I found my self in the Midlands town of Leicester outside a police station

on "Beauvoir" Street (as in Simone) when some Constables were beginning their shift...

The locals (not being French) cannot pronounce its name properly..

Put a grin on my face for the rest of the day....

[CraPo]

Re: Many years ago I found my self in the Midlands town of Leicester outside a police station

Whereas, the Vale of Belvoir (in Nottinghamshire/Leicestershire) is actually pronounced beaver!

[Fraserrr]

Re: Many years ago I found my self in the Midlands town of Leicester outside a police station

Actually it's 'belvoir' and is indeed pronounced beaver! The area near where my parents live is know as the vale of belvoir, and is centred around belvoir castle - all pronounced beaver! Always makes me smile!! :)

[Professor Clifton Shallot]

Sweet Sweet Pie

Get The Smell! Kill The Beavers!

[Bad Beaver]

Meanwhile…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmine

[Flocke Kroes]

Daft labelling

My red food dye has "Artificial" and "Cochineal" in a big font on the label. I assume they put 'cochineal' on there to scare away anyone who knows what it is, and 'artificial' to scare away anyone who doesn't. If I had been a little less alert, I would have missed it because I was looking for something that did not contain E120.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Meanwhile…

Wasn't Winona Ryder once in a film about this?

[MJI]

Re: Meanwhile…

I know to avoid E120, carmine and cochineal

Who wants to eat cactus beetles!

[NorthernCoder]

Nominative determinism strikes again

Ulla Beckman Sundh...

Sund is Swedish for sound (healthy), with a silent 'h' added to make it obvious (to a Swede at least) that it is a name.

Oh, and "Where's the bootnotes angle"?

[mhenriday]

Re: Nominative determinism strikes again

«Sund is Swedish for sound (healthy), with a silent 'h' added to make it obvious (to a Swede at least) that it is a name.»

Fru Sundh's surname is a typical soldier name from the period when the royal government made groups of peasants responsible for supporting a soldier and his family while he was off to the (continual) wars. Either she or her husband has such a progenitor....

Henri

[Anonymous Coward]

Standards are falling

An hour and half since the first comment and the obligatory beaver story reference has still not been said.

Nice beaver

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Standards are falling

Thanks, I just had it stuffed.

[Anonymous Coward]

Surströmming

Beaver arse juice - probably the original amuse bouche after Surströmming

[Anonymous Coward]

99?

I'd like a beaver bottom ice cream please?

With flake?

Er, no, thanks.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: 99?

Upvote for the most disgusting mental image of the day so far. Still, it's only just gone 9am

[hplasm]

Beaver juice-

Not fishy?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Beaver juice-

We must be doing it wrong :(

[Wyrdness]

I normally skip over Reg articles with shouty CAPSLOCK titles, but I'm (almost) quite glad that I looked at this one.

Does anyone know if beaver butt milk is used in food sold in the UK. Wikipedia says it's used in the US (unsurprisingly) and Scandinavia.

[Anonymous Coward]

This is nothing

In the old 80's book E for Additives there is an additive that i quote "comes from the vaginal secretions of port beagle dogs".

Beaver poo juice seems much more attractive...

Somehow......

[Why Not?]

Re: This is nothing

Oh I don't know I would of thought if you were a male port beagle dog, you might think differently.

and yes I too want to know how they found Beaver botty had such an interesting taste.

And if you have to ask, you don't know Paris.

[Badvok]

Re: This is nothing

"and yes I too want to know how they found Beaver botty had such an interesting taste"

If you read the article the clue is in there. Beavers use this as a scent to mark their territory, so it wouldn't take much for someone to wander past a scent marked tree and think "Hmm, that smells a bit like vanilla, I wonder where it came from." and then do a little investigation.

[JeffyPoooh]

Re: This is nothing

"...an additive that I quote 'comes from the vaginal secretions of port beagle dogs'. "

What about the starboard beagle dogs?

[Fihart]

But is it kosher ?

This vanilla issue reminds me of the joke about kosher honey -- "How can something that came out of a bees arse be kosher ?"

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Isn't it vomit?

[Andrew Moore]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Honey doesn't come from a bees arse.

[Fihart]

Re: But is it kosher ? @ Andrew Moore

It was a joke, it doesn't have to be anatomically precise.

[Evil Auditor]

Re: But is it kosher ?

What you are after is honeydew honey. Eaten, crapped, eaten again, vomited, and that's before it ends up on your table. Very yummy!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: But is it kosher ?

>What you are after is honeydew honey....

Is it made by Japanese girls by any chance?... That would certainly explain a somewhat peculiar video I once saw on the interwebs..

[Don Jefe]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Kosher has as much to do with who and how the food is handled as it does with the 'cleanliness' of a food. A lot of things you wouldn't think would qualify do because the preparation and handling of the food is done in accordance with the rules.

Kosher is a carryover from a much more observant time in Jewish history. It is fairly easy to comply with so many people still observe the ritual (while ignoring tons of other observances) but a lot of practitioners have never really looked into what it means, operationally. Religious conotations not withstanding, Kosher is a great job creator and market generator.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: But is it kosher ?

But I am still unable to find Kosher bacon that tastes as good as real bacon.

[Don Jefe]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Check in your grocer's freezer next to the rabbit and camel. They hide the delicious Kosher bacon there.

[sisk]

Re: But is it kosher ?

No, its not. In order for a meat or land-based animal sourced byproduct to be kosher it must first come from an animal that has cleft hooves and chews cud. So far as I know beavers possess neither trait. I know this because my own religion requires a diet close enough to kosher that when we're in a strange city we either look for kosher eateries or stick to fast food joints (because hamburgers are always safe for us as long as there's no bacon on them).

But honestly, unless you're a Jew, Muslim, or Adventist, who gives a beaver's behind?

[Don Jefe]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Human hair, or at least the proteins extracted from it for use in food, is Kosher. I haven't met a Human who has a cloven hoof. I've met a few who I suspected did, but I tricked them into revealing their feet by having to remove their shoes to cross the stream into my throne room office.

Kashrut law is far more complex than people think. Even most observant Jews don't know or understand all the rules involved.

http://www.kashrut.com/articles/L_cysteine/

[MrT]

"cross the stream into my throne room"

You have a moat around your toilet, er washroom, um study, office? Very grand - I went to a Japanese restaurant like that, but they were kind enough to fit little bridges... :-)

[Don Jefe]

Re: "cross the stream into my throne room"

The story of tricking suspected demons into exposing their hairy legs is one of many traditional non-canonical stories about Solomon. In one version of his meetings with the Queen of Sheba, Solomon began to suspect her wealth and power stemmed from her being a witch/demon/djin/dybbuk who, as you all know, always have hairy legs when appearing as Human females.

Solomon had his throne moved to a place in his palace where the Queen would have to lift her skirts and he could see if she had hairy legs. She did, or didn't, have hairy legs depending on the story and he either banished her after taking her treasure and slaves, imprisoned her and made her work on The Temple with the other demons he had imprisoned to do the work, or impregnated her.

That same story is also directly tied to the traditions of Western Judeo-Christian women shaving their legs. Ha! Bet you didn't know that did you :)

I don't have a stream in my throne room. I just thought it would be fun to toss in references to an old Jewish story since we were discussing old Jewish traditions.

[sisk]

Re: But is it kosher ?

Human hair, or at least the proteins extracted from it for use in food, is Kosher

Our restrictions are in some ways much simpler than Kashrut law, but they come from the a block of text about 3 paragraphs long that's in both the Torah and the Bible. I always assumed, because of that, that Kosher food had to conform to our restrictions as well. If what you say is true then I've been mistaken about that for a very long time. Nothing from the human body would be acceptable for us to eat.

[Don Jefe]

Re: But is it kosher ? @sisk

Kashrut law is only based on a few paragraphs as well. Over the millennia they've just taken the interpretation to extremes. There's a stereotype there about complex rules and ways around their own rules. It's kind of true in some respects :)

You should check out that Kashrut site I linked to above. It's a good introductory source to some of the rules. They aren't simple at all...

[Elmer Phud]

Anyone for coffee?

They will moan like hell about beaver's arse juice while trying to out do each other on the scarcity of coffee beans that have been shat from an animal held in appalling conditions.

It does raise a question about 'vanilla pod' though.

[Anonymous Coward]

Clue's in the name, isn't it?

"castoreum" -> Castor -> Latin for beaver IIRC.

The back end of various animals - usually rodents - has been used as a base for expensive perfume for years. Why a woman would want to smell like the rear-end of a giant rat is beyond me.

[Khaptain]

Re: Clue's in the name, isn't it?

"Why a woman would want to smell like the rear-end of a giant rat is beyond me."

When you see that state of some of the women that have had "Aesthetic Surgery" , it is understandable. They already look like the rear-end of giant rats. The skin pulled back, the exploding cheeks, the pouting lips ....all that's missing is the smell.

[Richard IV]

Re: Clue's in the name, isn't it?

Not to mention the perfumiers' favourite narwhal retchings and excrescence, or ambergris as it's also known.

Or the urea that's the basis for anti-wrinkle creams. Mmm, wee.

Bismarck had an awful lot of choice for his quote: "Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made"

[Don Jefe]

Re: Clue's in the name, isn't it?

Urea is also the curing retarding agent in the ready to use animal based glues (hide glues) used in fine furniture and musical instruments. It is also preferable to use in powdered hide glues instead of water during the heating/mixing process; but that's rarely done anymore.

People just aren't as comfortable with that sort of thing these days. It really ruins the mystique of a cabinet makers or luthiers shop if you picture them pissing in a heated pot of animal proteins and smearing it all over their work :)

[mhenriday]

Re: Clue's in the name, isn't it?

«Not to mention the perfumiers' favourite narwhal retchings and excrescence, or ambergris as it's also known.»

Surely, Richard, you mean «sperm whales» (cachalots)....

Henri

[Robin Bradshaw]

Is it really financially viable to extract fake vanilla flavour from the arses of beavers rather that knock up a batch of fake vanilla flavour in a lab?

How much do beaver arse glands go for by the tonne?

[Frankee Llonnygog]

How much do beaver arse glands go for by the tonne?

A shitload of money

[Denarius]

@Robin: financially viable ?

Good point. Vanilla is one of the few flavours/scents that can be made in lab chemically identical with the bean extract. Much prefer the product of a clean test tube/retort than a beavers back end.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

Ah but anything synthesized or chemical sounding is toxic evil: Vanillin, monosodium glutamate, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, sodium chloride, high fructose corn syrup... etc... all evil baby killing CHEMICALS.

Whereas juice of sun-dried beaver arse is "natural" and therefore wholesome: Natural vanilla flavour, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, urea, salt, honey, artemisia, henbane, ergot... etc... all yummy NATURAL foods.

All this crap (quite literally) is for marketing at morons.

[hplasm]

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

It's not like real vanilla grows on trees...

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

It's not like real vanilla grows on trees...

True... it's a member of the orchid family.

[Michael Habel]

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

But, isn't "Sodium Chloride" just the chemical name for Table Salt?

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: @Robin: financially viable ?

*gives a cookie*

shh now, the grownups are talking

[cortland]

Could be worse:

"Imitation" calamari.

See http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/16/imitation-calamari-sliced-pig-rectum_n_2482063.html

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: Could be worse:

I always assumed that most calamari was made from cable insulation. Hence the phrase, that calamari Hong Kong style was rubbery...

Although I think tripe is worse. It's not the thought of where it comes from, so much as the amount of time it spends in your mouth being chewed, giving you longer to think about what you're eating. And that was disguised in a rather delicious Vietnamese ramen type dish. I'm not sure I fancy tripe and onions - one of my Grandad's favourites apparently.

What was that quote from Neal Stephenson's Zodiac? Something like:

I've lost a job and several girl friends by reading the ingredients from food packets aloud, with explanations.

[MJI]

Re: Could be worse:

How both are rubbery and inedible

[Don Jefe]

Re: Could be worse:

The calamari thing is just a tiny part of a huge global problem with seafood. Even though it is highly illegal to mislabel food, the practice is rampant in the industry. Even hardcore seafood aficionados and celebrity seafood chefs are can't tell the difference within most categories.

Even in lab testing the general seafood process contaminates the samples with so many different genetic indicators from different animals it is nearly impossible to ascertain what you're eating unless you see someone lop the head off a live fish and cook it in front of you. Overall it's best not to worry over, it all tastes the same anyway :)

The particular piece you link to is based on a story by the show This American Life. The show, and that episode especially, is funny and worth a listen. The podcast is free at NPR.org.

[hi_robb]

All I can say is...

Dam...

[Popup]

> Sweden's beaver population was wiped out by hunters about 200 years ago when the creatures' backside juice was used in medicines.

True, but the beaver has been successfully reintroduced and there's now a healthy beaver population in Sweden.

[I ain't Spartacus]

That's true. Every Swedish film I've every watched has has been absolutely chock-full of beaver.

[Don Jefe]

They've also evolved to be noticeably less hairy than previous generations.

[Great Bu]

What about the other side of the coin ?

I just found out that the beaver arse I thought I was rimming was fake ! It was just a mongoose with a vanilla pod up it ! Bastards.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: What about the other side of the coin ?

Had the same problem last night with a badger.

At least I know what people mean by "rough as a badger's arse" now...

[Jamie Jones]

ice-cream?

If you're telling me that ice cream isn't veggie, life will not be worth living!

[Evil Auditor]

Re: ice-cream?

Since when was life as a veggie worth living?

[Jamie Jones]

Re: ice-cream?

Mwahahahaha!

Since I started to lose weight and get healthier without any pain or effort on my part!

And that's not including the warm fuzzy moral feeling, and the license to behave like a boring smug obnoxious twat to others!

[taxman]

Personally

I can't see what the flap is all about!

[tabman]

CAT Bum Juice

Anyone from DNST apprenticeship days circa 1993 should remember a similar story to this about mango flavouring (i.e. guess where it comes from when the manufacturer can't be bothered to get actual mangos)

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: CAT Bum Juice

My brother had to take his cats to the vet the other day, due to blocked anal glands. The cure for which was a nice cat bum massage. If it happens again, I wonder if he'll pay the vet's bill, or just go DIY?

[tabman]

Re: CAT Bum Juice

Depends if he likes mango juice I suppose.

[Dodgy Geezer]

It's the 'cup and pea' game..

Here we have a story that stresses the fact that castoreum from beaver's glands is defined as 'safe for human consumption', probably grandfathered in based on its use many years ago, followed by scare stories about how it might be in all sorts of products under the heading 'natural ingredient'.

The story says "is used to make vanilla flavouring for cakes", but the only thing that was confirmed by the Swedish Food Authority was that it would be legal.

Given the shortage of commercial beaver breeding facilities of the size that would be needed to supply the human food-making industry, I suspect that all our cakes are actually vanilla-pod flavoured. But it's a good yucky scare...

[Don Jefe]

Re: It's the 'cup and pea' game..

Don't know about the UK, but here in the US using something in food is pre-approved unless it has already been prohibited. You also don't have to disclose what is in the 'natural flavorings, aroma agents or colorings' unless it is a known allergen to a measurable subset of the population (nut products for example).

You don't even have to tell the FDA what's in there at all, unless they ask in the course of a formal investigation. Ingredients are considered a trade secret and may be kept confidential unless they fall under another regulation that requires their disclosure or people start smelling like beaver grundle.

Food and drug regulation and inspection doesn't work here the way most people think it does. I guess it goes to show how resilient Humans are to most things. Otherwise we'd all be dead many times over with the vegetarians falling first (ha!).

[ian 22]

Re: It's the 'cup and pea' game..

"Nut products"?

Do you mean Rocky Mountain Oysters?

[SirDigalot]

read the wiki about vanilla

Apparently beavers are easier to grow, and the arse juice is also used in raspberry flavor too, it is called "natural flavor"

[hi_robb]

Just realised...

They use this it in perfume to!

"Hello Miss, I love the smell of you beaver.."

*SLAP*

[Loyal Commenter]

Vanillin

The principal compound in 'vanilla flavour', and the source of the vanilla flavour you're likely to find in el-cheapo ice cream, etc. is produced on an industrial scale from guiacol, which as far as I'm aware is extracted mostly from petrochemicals.

If you buy 'vanilla essence' from the supermarket, this will have been synthetically produced. If you use 'vanilla extract' on the other hand, this will have been produced from the seed pods of the vanilla orchid, usually by alcohol extraction. Neither of these products will have come from the anal scent glands of any animal, particularly not one that isn't farmed and is thinly spread in the wild, such as the beaver.

Incidentally, vanillin makes such an effective flavouring agent due to its detectability by the human nose at miniscule concentrations, as low as 0.00002%, so very little of it is needed.

[Peter Simpson 1]

Re: Vanillin

"...vanillin makes such an effective flavouring agent...very little of it is needed."

Ahhh...so one beaver's worth will flavour *how many* containers of ice cream, then?

I think I smell a new Reg measurement standard here.

// and it smells like...[where's the beaver icon got to?]

[mhenriday]

Re: Vanillin

«... guiacol, which as far as I'm aware is extracted mostly from petrochemicals.»

I understand that guaicol is usually produced from wood tar, i e, is derived from wood (usually pine) products, rather than coal tar, which is derived from coal or petroleum....

Henri

[100113.1537]

Don't worry - it's natural!

That makes it safe doesn't it? That's why they use it after all because if they used artificial vanillin then they would not be able to label it free from artificial flavours.....

[Sil]

Beavers for vanilla sex?

[Zot]

But people don't care what goes into burgers and sausages.

This stuff, if true, comes from a gland, not it's turd chute.

Sausages contain said chute, the contents of the whole inside of an animal, and anything they jet wash off the bones.

Fry them up with a couple of chicken abortions and you've got yourself a lovely breakfast.

[sisk]

Bah

I like a little vanilla flavor in my Kopi Luwak...

[Anonymous Coward]

What I want to know is, who found out beaver arse-cheese tastes like vanilla? "Mmmm.. I bet that's tasty, think I'll give it a try."

I mean, I know it's dark for a long time above the arctic circle but how bored would you have to be...

[willi0000000]

how bored would you have to be...

it's not boredom as much as desperation.

think how desperate somebody had to be to say to himself "I've just cracked open this rock, it has goo inside, I'm really hungry so i guess I'll try eating it." and so the oyster fad was born.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

beavers

The hunters drive them extinct, confectioners use it as a sly substitute and tv cooks can't get enough of it in their fancy recipes. Just one question---who's the real vanillin here?

[Inventor of the Marmite Laser]

Had Beaver Tail in Canada, once.

Bought it from a street stall. Jolly nice too, it was.

[Peter Simpson 1]

Google for "beaver vanilla"

This is what you get -- vanilla bean dyed beaver fur trooper hat:

http://www.glacierwear.com/fur-on-sale/men-s-and-women-s-dyed-sheared-beaver-trooper-style-fur-hat.html

// folks, you can't make this up!

[kwg06516]

Have you got any?

he asked, expecting the answer No.

[king of foo]

i am disturbed

...that I had to go to the 5th o in gooooooooooogle before I was presented with a 'sexy' interpretation of 'anal beaver juice'

Maybe I am a dirty b####### after all!

[Anonymous Coward]

I certainly can't speak for all Canadians...

But personally, I enjoy eating beaver.

[The_H]

Some days I think my job is cr@p. Then I find out that some poor sod has to extract vanilla flavouring from dead beavers' anal glands for a living, and suddenly it's all put into perspective.

Paris, 'cos she knows all about glands. And beavers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Aha!

So I did get a lot of beaver on holiday this year!

[Arachnoid]

Taking the Pee

Gland secretions are also an expensive additive used in perfumery so why does it surprise some people its available as a food additive.I'm sure if food manufacturers could make something from urine they would endevour to give it a "naturally produced" label.

[mhenriday]

Wel, Jasper, no one has ever considered the Reg a paragon of accuracy in reporting,

but I beg leave to correct the following statement : «Sweden's beaver population was wiped out by hunters about 200 years ago when the creatures' backside juice was used in medicines.» The native beaver (Castor fiber) in Sweden died out in 1871, but beavers from Norway were implanted in 1922 and the species now seems to be thriving here ; in 2000 the population was estimated to be some 100 000 animals....

[Hardware Man]

I'm rather partial to beaver juice! ;);)