LOHAN cops a faceful of smutronyms

There's nothing quite like a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) backronym challenge to bring out the sniggering schoolboy in our beloved spaceplane fans. Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic Earlier this week, we challenged you lot to come up with a snappy name for our mission abort box - in the best …

[Pete 2]

Fuel to the flames

> So, those of you who've not yet entered the competition ...

You *know* this is just going to be a platform for the smutsters to take another bite of the cherry ... Hmmm, cherry ... CHERRI

Computerised High-altitude Emergency Rockblock Release Initiator

Contrived? Moi?

[JonP]

BARBIE - clean & wholesome enough?

Balloon

Arduino

Rock

Block

Initiated

Ejector

[JonP]

Re: BARBIE - clean & wholesome enough?

Just thought of another - really must try and do some work...

Now

Snip

Arduino!

[Smarty Pants]

J - Just

U - Utilise

S - Switch

T - Toggles

I - Iridium

N - Negator

or

B - Balloon

I - In

E - Error

B - Better

E - Eject

R - Rocket

[rurwin]

How else to interupt an out-of-control career?

REHAB

Required (or Remote)

Emergency

High

Altitude

Breaker

Unfortunately there is already a REHAB, but they won't be confused, and this usage is far cooler. ;-)

[Shrimpling]

SWIFT

As this if for terminating a wayward flight in a sudden way I propose SWIFT

S - Sudden

W - Wayward

I - International

F - Flight

T - Terminator

[GettinSadda]

BOTOX

If is all starts to look wrong LOHAN may need to rely on:

Button Operated Termination Of eXperiment

[NorthernCoder]

LOVER

LOHAN

Operator;

Vertical

Emergency

Remote

[Anonymous Coward]

Special

Projects

Urgent

Neutralising

Kit

[A K Stiles]

SPITS

Satellite

Powered

Incursion

Termination

System

[Wyrdness]

SMUT

Spanish Manual Un-Tetherer

[BigG]

GAGA - Guard Alert Gringos Away (or Guiris Away)

PS. Link to Southampton University Postgrad no longer working - cuts?

[Ralph B]

MILEY

M - Mission

I - Interrupting

L - LOHAN

E - Eject

Y - Yoke

[Ralph B]

Re: MILEY

(You'd be a twert, sorry, twerp to use it too soon.)

[Ralph B]

Re: MILEY

((Or did I mean "twerk". Yes, I probably did. (Sigh.)))

[David Kelly 2]

Re: MILEY

Every LOHAN needs a MILEY!

[Huntsman]

SPURT Box

Special

Projects

Uplink

Remote

Terminator

[Anonymous Coward]

Necessary

Electrically

Activated

Remote

Mission

Incursion

Sabotage

System

or

Orbital

Orb

Puncturing

System

[Don Jefe]

Honored

Wow, just wow. I'm so excited to have my contributions to the decline of humanity recognized on the international stage. Rarely does one receive recognition for aiding a species in its race to the bottom.

I would like to think my Kindergarten teacher for teaching me about acronyms by always speaking the individual letters of the names she called me. Without her guiding hand I would never have even tried to figure out what those words meant.

I would also like to thank my Marketing Director for his habit of naming our internal projects so atrociously that I have gained untold experience in building the type of strong, attention getting bacronyms that distill the essence of a project into a tidy, easy to use package.

I would like to thank all post-Hoover Presidential administrations for their tireless service in concocting ridiculous and unwieldy acronyms for their door-to-door democracy delivery operations. They have set the bar very low and as you know, there can't be a first place unless there's a last place.

Lastly I would like to thank my dog, Archduke Ferdinand (aka Emergency Meal #1) for his unquestioning loyalty and for staying by my side as I toiled with the more subtle aspects of my latest acronym creation.

[Shrimpling]

Re: Honored

Upvote for "Emergency Meal #1"...

Best dog name ever.

[Omgwtfbbqtime]

Re: Honored

It does bring a swelling of pride doesn't it?

Well, the swelling of something anyway.

Trebles all round!

[Captain DaFt]

Re: Honored

" Wow, just wow. I'm so excited to have my contributions to the decline of humanity recognized on the international stage. Rarely does one receive recognition for aiding a species in its race to the bottom. "

Yes, it is a rare glow of pride to be so honored in the forums of El Reg.*

Maybe they could see their way to a special badge for those of use that have contributed so much?

*My contribution was lauded here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/05/sign_compo_results/

[ToggleMaudlin]

GERONIMO

(Ge)osensitive

(Ro)ckblock-powered

(Ni)x

(Mo)biliser

[Lunatik]

DUI - Disaster? Undo It!

OPRAH - Obligatory Panic Rocket Arrestment Hardware

[Parax]

End of the outing? need to get home quick?

Terminate Autonomy eXtricate Immediatly

[SRMoll]

Fornicate

FOR

NICking

Aircraft

TEther

I.e. "Quick we must fornicate now!"

[Bill Fresher]

WANT-MUFF

Whatchamacallit Apparatus Needed To-Manually Unfasten Floating Failure

[Jon Green]

TWERKER

T Termination

W With

E Enabled

R RockBLOCK -

K Kite

E Emergency

R Release

[Pypes]

S.L.A.P.P.E.R.

Space

Launch

Automatic

Payload

Preservation

Electronic

Release

[Bill Fresher]

PUBE

Promptly Unfasten Balloon Equipment

[Shambles]

C.L.I.T.F.L.I.C

Cut Line In Transit - Force Loss (of) Immediate Control

.

.

.

Sorted.

[lawndart]

says

Manually

Activated

Range

Safety

Electrical

Device

M-ARSE-D

(with extra padding)

[lawndart]

Re: says

or

Manually

Activated

Range

Safety

Emergency

Descent

[Malcolm 2]

Jeri Ryan

I think that I have just posted in the wrong thread - evidently distracted.

Judicious Emergency Remote Initiated Rapid "Yes Abort Now"

[Why Not?]

Coitus

Coitus

Cut

Off

In-Flight

Tether

for

Universal

Safety

[Bill Fresher]

MACHETE

Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Ensuing Trip Emergency

[Bill Fresher]

Re: MACHETE

or

Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Eliminating Transpiring Endangerment

[Nicholas EGF Berry]

FONDLE

Free Orb Non-Destructive LOHAN Equipment

[Robin Bradshaw]

SIDEKICK

Spanish

Imposed

Deactivation

Enhancement

Key

Initiated

Controlled

Kill

[Lottie]

Space Plane Untethering: Negating Katastrophe

Anti

Baloon

Offcourse

Reactive

Terminator

[Vladimir Plouzhnikov]

OK I'll add a Russian touch to it

Manual-Abort Remotely-Utilised Switch-Initiated Apparatus

or Marusia, 'cause it's lonely up there and Lohan will need a friendly companion like that, for example...

[Steve Davis 1]

BRASTRAP

Big

Red

Abort

Switch

To

Release

Aerial

Payload

[kmac499]

PANIC

Every Good Project should have a PANIC button, If only for the reason that everyone can wonder around lik Corporal Jones form HicthHikers saying "Don't Panic"

Push

Actuated

Negative

Incident

Containment.

BUTTON

By the way in best Strategic Rocket Service parctice, the control box should have a second key on at least six foot of wire to enforce dual control of such a drastic option. (It doesn't need to be wired up just needs to look the part :-) )

[Harvey Trowell]

A further effort for your kind consideration:

DISCONEKT - Dave's Indubitably Shed-Created Ominously Nerdgasm-Enabling Killswitch Terminal

Which I feel is suitably improbable, although back at the other end of the probability scale, I still like:

BRA - Ballocket Remote Abort

[BrotherWolf]

ABORTS

Abruptly Break Orbit Rockblock Terminator Switch

[adam.c]

Shall

We

Abort

Lohan

Lest

Orbit

Will

Start

[Anonymous Coward]

Let

It

Not

Drop

Somewhere

Anyone's

Yodelling

[Anonymous Coward]

STOP

Shit!

Turn

Off

Pronto!

[Bill Fresher]

REDBUTTON

Release Equipment Dave Built Used To Terminate Orbiter Nosedive.

[Don Jefe]

FNORD

Failure

Neutralization

Orbiter

Recall

Device

[Toltec]

DWAYNE DIBLEY

Disaster!

Why

Are

You

Not

Expediting

Destruct

Immediately?

Blow

Lanyard

Electronically,

Yes?

Because when you see him you know it has all gone wrong.

[Toltec]

When it has all gone a bit-

Prevent

Egregious

Territorial

Exodus

Total

Orbiter

Nullification

Go

[Toltec]

I have work to do damn it!

Obvious really, this calls for the Corbomite manouevre

Cancel

Orbital

Rocket

By

Operating

Manually

Initiated

Tether

Elimination

[JCB.Photorf]

OH! DRAT

Overflown

Habitation!

DRop

Activation

Transmission

[Aleph0]

HANGOVER

Human Activated Network Gear for On-demand Vehicle Emergency Release .

[Sequin]

Big Red Aeroplane Launch Emergency Stop Switch

AKA BRALESS

[Shades]

PEARSHAPED - Primary Emergency Abort (and) Release System (of) High Altitude Project Experiencing Deviation

BOLLOCKS - Bloody Orbital LOHAN Lifter Off Course Kill Switch

[Robert Moore]

For whatever it is worth

I really liked:

ARSE - Automated Range Safety Equipment (lawndart)

Smart, funny, and could almost be accidental.

[Splodger]

Stop! H.A.M.S.T.E.R. Time!

High

Altitude

Mission

Switch

Tether

Emergency

Release

[Chris G]

TOOLBox

Terminate

Orb

Operations

Lohan

Box

[Will Godfrey]

Angel

Asynchronous

Networked

Gravity

Enhanced

Liberator

[IT Drone]

SCRAM

Safety

Cut-down

RockBLOCK

Abort

Mechanism

[Nothing to do with SCRAM® (Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor), honest.]

[Bill Fresher]

Where's my prize?

I have a use for it.

[Alister]

M.A.M.M.A.R.Y

Mission Abort Mechanism, May Attract Register Yokels

Description and warning in one neat package...

[annodomini2]

SPUNK

Special

Projects

Unintended

Nuance

Kontrol

[Sp0ck]

LECH

Lohan

Emergency

Cut-off

Hardware

[Sp0ck]

LUBE

Lohan

Umbilical

Break

Equipment

[Mike Flugennock]

Actually, I kind of like ARSE

It's simple, elegant, technically descriptive, and it seemed to require the least amount of verbal "shoehorning" to get the verbiage to fit the abbreviation.