back to article South Carolina couple cop cuffing for shed shag

An amorous South Carolina couple copped a cuffing last Wednesday while allegedly making the beast with two backs inside a Home Depot display shed. According to the Smoking Gun, cops were called to the DIY chain's North Charleston branch shortly after 8.30am "in reference to a male and female entering a display shed on the …

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  1. Ken Y-N
    Coat

    Were they auditioning for the film version of Fifty Sheds of Grey?

    Mine's the one covered in sawdust.

    1. LarsG
      IT Angle

      But the door was closed? Or was it a little noisy?

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Ketlan
    Devil

    Not exactly flashing

    'Bowden will face similarly face a disorderly conduct charge, as well as an "indecent exposure ... for having his genitals on public view" rap.'

    His genitals were hardly on public view, were they. He was inside a damn shed.

    1. frank ly

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      Indeed. I'd claim 'reasonable expectaton of privacy'. The cops had to make a deliberate effort to find them so it's their own fault for seeing what they saw.

      1. AndrueC Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        The cops had to make a deliberate effort to find them

        Yet another example of Police invasion of privacy :)

      2. Gray Ham

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        @Frank ly

        Indeed yes. I remember a couple of years ago a Bahraini (?) couple got arrested for having sex in their car ... but they were acquitted because the car had tinted windows, therefore they weren't in public.

        Though, it is a bit ironic when US law trumps islamic law for prudery.

      3. Zaphod.Beeblebrox
        FAIL

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        @frank ly: "Indeed. I'd claim 'reasonable expectaton of privacy'."

        There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place - they were in a shed on display at a retailer for crying out loud! In a shed on their property - fine, but not one in a public place.

        That said, the rap is a bit much from my perspective - had someone opened the door to the shed and seen them going at it, *then* called the cops, it would be different. As it was, no member of the public saw his "indecent exposure".

      4. Qu Dawei
        Headmaster

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        ...and if other non-policemen did this, they could be done for being peeping toms or voyeurism (in the UK at least)

    2. Mad Mike
      Happy

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      Obviously hadn't got very far, otherwise he would have had two 'layers' of cover for the old chap. The shed and the 'classy' woman he was with!!

      1. Qu Dawei
        Headmaster

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        3 layers if he was having safe sex, surely!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not exactly flashing @Ketlan

      >He was inside a damn shed.

      Please, a bit more reverance, this a shed we are talking about.

    4. Fiddler on the roof

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      Maybe it was a glass fronted summer house :)

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      "He was inside a damn shed."

      Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed. Hardly more exposed than she would have been, surely?

      1. wowfood

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        Bowden will face similarly face a disorderly conduct charge, as well as an "indecent exposure ... for having his genitals on public view" rap.

        They were hardly public while he was in a shed. And for all we know, they weer considering buying it, and just taking it for a test run.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        "Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed."

        Only partially, I assume, unless she was very spacious.

      3. The_H
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        "Technically he was inside Emily inside a shed"

        If memory serves correctly, a half wave rectified sinusoidal wave of about 1.2Hz (frequency increasing slightly over time) would describe a typical shed-based technique. Assuming the ground reference (i.e. Emily) was fixed rather than floating, he'd only be inside her half the time.

        Paris, cos she must have...

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      His genitals were hardly on public view, were they. He was inside a damn shed.

      That doesn't stop US police. Lived in "silicon valley" for a few years in the 90s and remember reading a local newspaper article of someone who needed a pee so tried to do so discretely against a wall of a building ... two police officers spotted him and ordered him to turn around - needless to say he did (if you don't then police have a tendency to shoot) and as one of the offices was female he got done for exposing himself to a woman and was put on sex offenders register

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not exactly flashing

        I've seen lots of stories about people being required to register as sex offenders for just such stupid situations. Please make them earn it. Nudity is not a sexual offense.

    7. Anthony Hegedus Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      ... and presumably up until the point where the shed was opened, his genitals were not on view because they were inside his co-conspirator

    8. magickmark
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Not exactly flashing

      Inside a shed... errrmmm or inside ... errr ... yes

      Paris? well because..

  3. GitMeMyShootinIrons

    Missing a trick...

    The shop should charge hotel room rates (by the hour, of course...).

    On a separate point, I bet it wasn't one of the cheaper sheds, otherwise they would have been lucky if the damn thing hadn't collapsed around them (in which case the guy's one-eyed bishop would've been truly exposed).

  4. Hasham

    A saucy tale

    But I'm having difficulty seeing what this has to do with IT, Reg!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A saucy tale- having difficulty seeing what this has to do with IT

      Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.

      Even IT people are human...

    2. Chris Miller
      Holmes

      Which is why

      it's in Bootnotes.

    3. Anomalous Cowshed

      Re: A saucy tale

      You are right, it's shocking. The title was completely misleading. It seemed to imply something about networks or VPN, and then all of a sudden, we click on the link and see this. In the middle of a working day. At work. Arrest the REG for misleading and indecent articulation! (is that the correct wording? I need to check with my superior officers)

      1. Hasham
        FAIL

        Re: A saucy tale

        You're right, let's go the whole hog and turn Reg into the Daily Mail.

        1. Chris G Silver badge

          Re: A saucy tale

          OK: Shed shagging Chauvanist shafts shameless sheila!

      2. Mephistro Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: A saucy tale (@ Anomalous Cowshed)

        Dear Mr. Cowshed:

        The same thing happens often to me. Every time I read titles like the article heading -E.G. "Hot L*ian Action", "F*kotronic Man" and "The Bald Chair Th*ing Gorilla"- I think they're written in Networking lingo and/or making reference to big IT companies. And it's not only in the Internets! Video rentals also use this nasty trick! It's really shameful !

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A saucy tale

        But it does, if you assume VPN = Visible Penis and Nuts...

  5. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    I suspect that the shed was...

    ...one of the plastic "Rubbermaid" series - perhaps Model # 1862548 'Big Max Ultra'.

    Just because...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: I suspect that the shed was...

      AM I the only one that finds the "Rubbermaid" brand slightly unsettling?

      And not a little arousing?

  6. Anomalous Cowshed

    According to my records...

    According to my research, we began with:

    A couple cuffed for shagging in a park in front of 22 coppers. They were aesthetically challenged too. They were charged with indecent public exposure.

    Now we have a couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in a shed in a DIY store. They have been charged with indecent public exposure.

    If the trend continues, may we see:

    1. Couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in a ROOM at a MOTEL. Forgot to lock room and were apprehended by maid who entered the room by accident. Charged with indecent public exposure and deliberately causing mental anguish to the maid, who fainted and had to be treated at the scene by the coppers.

    1b Couple cuffed in same situation as above, but behind locked door. Maid passing by overhears "suspicious activity", reports it to the manager who immediately calls the police. Suspecting terrorism, police break down the door. The couple are charged with indecent public exposure, criminal damage and wasting police time.

    2. Couple cuffed for doing the beast with two backs in their apartment. Forget to close the window and are overheard by a passer-by in the street. Fearing that a serious crime against the state is under way, the passer-by calls the cops who in turn call the National Guard for help and lay siege to the apartment. To keep a long story short, the couple are charged with indecent public exposure, criminal damage, demolition without a permit, wasting public funds, causing psychological trauma to the passer-by and injury to a police officer (who shoots himself in the foot by accident during the siege, but it's still their fault he was there in the first place).

    3. Couple cuffed in the street outside M&S or Wallmart or whatever for being in possession of underwear with intent to commit an act of gross indecency.

    4. Couple cuffed, just because copper <insert name> feared they might eventually commit an act of public or private indecency.

    5. All couples are to be cuffed pre-emptively to avoid indecent behaviour, by order of the Police Commissioner.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: According to my records...

      That's absolutely uncanny. You appear to have laid your hands on our Friday Bootnotes list for the next four weeks.

      1. Anomalous Cowshed

        Re: According to my records...

        Sorry about that, it happen again!

        1. Anomalous Cowshed

          Re: According to my records...

          Ooops, I meant to write: It WON'T happen again!

      2. Why Not?
        Coat

        Re: According to my records...

        Any truth in the Rumour you are renaming it 'Booty call Notes'?

    2. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

      Re: According to my records...

      Re: 1b

      Already happened.

      Man does Bicycle in Hotel room

      1. Ed_UK

        Re: According to my records...

        "Already happened.

        Man does Bicycle in Hotel room "

        Yebbut - that was just a harmless crank.

        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

          Re: Re: According to my records...

          I do hope you're not going to saddle us with any more terrible puns.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: According to my records...

            > I do hope you're not going to saddle us with any more terrible puns.

            Says El Reg's spokes person.

    3. kraut

      Re: According to my records...

      6. US Population starts to decline.

  7. Tchou

    It was about time!!!

    ... The girl looks quite okay ...for an american that is...

    1. Beachrider

      For an American...

      I guess that she doesn't have that overbread look of those royals that are soooo popular...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: For an American...

        Maybe she's been eating cake instead?

      2. Thecowking

        Re: For an American...

        I prefer my royals over rice.

        I'm not a huge fan of bread and monarchy.

        1. Mephistro Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: For an American... (@ Thecowking)

          I was going to downvote you, for being a bread-hater. But what the Hell! Here's an upvote! :^)

          1. Thecowking

            Re: For an American... (@ Thecowking)

            I don't hate bread, just bread with royals.

            Bread's best with the proletariat and a nice chablis.

            Of course for middle classes you have to change that to couscous and a pinot grigio.

            (The correct wine for royalty is buckfast.)

  8. Don Jefe

    There was an ad for sheds on the article page. I looked through the window to see if any topless women were in there, but all I saw was a naked hobo.

  9. Crisp

    Ah! Risky Sex!

    Trouble is, when seeking the thrill of being caught; there's always the possibility of being caught.

  10. Arachnoid

    Just to repeat

    Whats this got to do with I.T. or has technology news taken a dip today [possible in the garden section]?

    1. Sorry, "Sorry that handle is already taken" is already taken.
      Facepalm

      Just to repeat...

      It's in Bootnotes.

      Or have IQ levels taken a dip today [possibly in the commentards section]?

    2. Don Jefe

      Re: Just to repeat

      If it makes you feel any better, the call originated from a digital mobile device, was routed through the E-911 switches and sent to the nearest emergency dispatch center. When the cop responded and arrested he reported in using an encrypted radio with his vehicle location captured by GPS on the trip to the booking center/jail. While at the jail the suspects would have been fingerprinted using a scanner and had their identities checked and a warrant and priors search done using an SSL Internet connection simultaneously searching city, county, state, federal and INTERPOL databases. With their current arrest being appended to their permanent record and merged with the electronic report the cop populated on his notebook. After that the suspects would have been issued inmate ID's and ID bracelets with the unique ID being generated by adding +1 to the last ID in the system.

      1. C 18
        IT Angle

        Re: Just to repeat

        Or as people here are so fond of saying wistfully, 'everything's done with computers these days'.

    3. Bloakey1
      Joke

      Re: Just to repeat

      It is in bootnotes i.e miscellanea and trivia.

      But to assuage your quest for a monotheistic website where I.T. is god one can interpret it within an I.T. framework.

      A couple thought that they had sufficient cover until they found that their I.T. strategy was flawed and their backup strategy failed in a spectacular manner. The company involved suspected crackers and had the couple arrested.. The man was charged with assault with a blunt weapon and the lady was charged with receiving swollen goods and concealing 12 ounces of crack in her gusset.

      A spokesman from the department of Homeland security stated that the world is now a safer place and that the couple were suspected terrorist on a deep penetration mission.

      The shed was unharmed.

  11. teebie

    She looks far less worried about the whole thing than he does

  12. Sarah Davis

    WTaF !

    what a fantastic news story, you must've really pulled out all the stops and put your most IT savvy writer on it to get this amazing IT scoop !

    ok, sarcasm aside, is this aimed at your junior readers ? The completely irrelevant story of two peeps who got caught shagging somewhere inappropriate, yawn,.. maybe you mistook tabloid for tablet :)

    mine's the one with the built in portable computer , media center, invisibility cloak, and time machine built into the breast pocket

    1. Don Jefe

      Re: WTaF !

      Where do you people come from? Are you genuinely a Human, or are you only using the body of a Human as a vehicle while you scout landing locations for your race?

    2. Mephistro Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: WTaF ! (@ Sarah Davis)

      " is this aimed at your junior readers ?... ... time machine built into the breast pocket"

      HA HA! SHE SAID BREAST! HA HA!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just jealous...

    ... someone is getting a shedload of nookie.

  14. Frankee Llonnygog

    Shed!

    A case of mistaking the noun for the verb?

  15. Julian C

    Confusion?

    Maybe they got confused by some of the advertising... there's a drive by Shed company near me (on Portsmouth Road near Ripley, Surrey) which for many years had a big sign out front announcing "FREE ERECTION"...

    Just checked StreetView and unfortunately it's been removed ;-(

    1. Mystic Megabyte
      Gimp

      Re: Confusion?

      For years I went past "The House of Rubber" at the top of Pentonville Rd. in London

      I went in there once and have never been the same since.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Pentonville Road

        There was a foam/rubber/etc shop near the top or a few blocks down from the Angel end, and, if I remember rightly, The London Rubber Company at the bottom, a corner site. That was, or is, the company behind Durex. I think?

  16. h4rm0ny

    A bit hard.

    Is it me or is this a bit harsh for them trying to have a quick shag in a display shed? Police involvement and their identities splashed around the world. Basically, any time someone (employer, prospective partner, whoever), types their name in, this is going to be the first result. Not to mention that in the USA, you get put on the sex offenders register for things like this!

    Why couldn't a member of staff just knock on the door and say: "oi! knock it off!" and give them a telling off. Make them wipe the place down as well if it needs it. The rest is a bit excessive.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: A bit hard.

      Indeed. They weren't hutting anyone, or causing any bothy. So I would lean-to the side of doing nothing. After all, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and a criminal record is hard to shed. Whereas now they're in the doghouse, all because they got over-excited with a wood erection.

      Hmmmm. Smiley face or coat? On balance I think the bad puns have it... Byeeee.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Makes me wonder if Craig has a monther, sister or other relative named Jessica Anna Craig!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And she was only there looking for decking!

  19. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Indecent exposure?

    Indecent exposure? I'm wondering if that will stick, if he was not actually exposing himself to anyone until they popped the door open. But anyway... *shrug*.

    The potentially bad part for them, Megan's Law is quite overzealous, so they may find (in common with people that got caught taking a pee on a tree while drunk and actual pedophiles) that they are excluded from living within 1000 feet of schools, and.. .well, I don't know what else, but rather than excluding some areas, in a typical city everything is excluded but a city block or two (if that.)

  20. John Tserkezis
    Joke

    Dear El Reg..

    When we say "Photos or it didn't happen", we mean more than mere mugshots...

  21. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Feature Length

    A quick naughty while out and about might spice up a couple's sex life, but if they had been at it long enough for employees to wink, nod and call the cops and then the 15 or 20 minutes it would take for the coppers to get around to driving to the store.... good grief, that's no longer a quick shag, that's the full monty and no joke.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder

    how many are now debating if they could convince their other half to do it in the shed?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: I wonder

      By our reckoning, 11 - plus your good self, of course. Good luck.

  23. Tim Bates

    I'm shocked!

    This is outrageous! What the heck were they thinking? Plastic sheds?!?!

    No, seriously. I read the whole article, then saw the links to the plastic and wooden sheds and just couldn't help wondering where the steel ones were. Are Aussie the only ones that bother building proper sheds?

    1. Martin Budden Bronze badge

      Re: I'm shocked!

      Mine's brick.

  24. Martin Budden Bronze badge
    Coat

    Plod Pulls Plucky Pair Procreating in Plastic(?) Podule

    Sorry, I just came here to say "podule" and then got carried away.

  25. Scott 53
    Coat

    D'oh

    It's called a DIY for a reason.

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