WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

As followers of our epic Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) project will know, we recently laid our grubby mitts on a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms unit, courtesy of Rock Seven, and we're now giving one linguistically deft reader the chance to do the same. Top and bottom views of the RockBLOCK In fact, this is …

[SuperTim]

GAGA

Ground Activated Guillotine Apparatus

[Brian de Ford]

Bod

Box Of Doom. BOD. Says it all.

[Caff]

TWERK

Trigger Widget Ejection Rockblock Kill-switch

[Jayce and the Wheeled Chairs]

BOMBERS

Bulky Orb Manual Breakaway Emergency Release Systems

[BugsMan]

PANIC-BUTTON Programmable Aerospace Nullification Instruction Chipset - Because Unwelcome Termination Tactic Ordered by Nimby Or just use PANIC on its own

[Thomas Whipp]

CURFEW

Command

Utility

Required

For

Emergency

Wipe-out

[Code Monkey]

FLAPS

Flying LOHAN Aeroplane Protection System

[Simon Harris]

Missing....

Surely the flashing green LED should be replaced by a 6 digit 7-segment count-down display

and there needs to be an equally preposterous cancel button that always stops the countdown at 00:00:01.

[Omgwtfbbqtime]

RABID

Red

Alert!

Bring

It

Down!

[Omgwtfbbqtime]

HOOKER

Heuristically

Operated

Orbital

Kill

Endangering

Rockblock

[bill 20]

BROWNPANTS

The BROWNPANTS Box….

Backup

Release

On

Worrying

Nearness

(of)

People

And

Nasty

Technology

Scenario

Ho-hum, back to my day job now :(

[Anonymous Coward]

BRB

As an homage to the (satirical or offensive, depending on taste) Amiga game 'Nuclear War' by New World Computing in 1990

BRB - meaning "Big Red Button"

[it's Monday and you want linguistic cleverness?]

[SW10]

ROCKS(OFF)

Remotely-Operated Control Kill Switch (Orbiter Flight FAIL)

[simlb]

HANDJOB

High

Altitude

Near

Disaster

Judicious

Orbital

Blowoff

[GaryBarber]

Re: HANDJOB

Awwww!

I spent at least 2 minutes coming up with Hand Actuacted Nubbin Destroys Jumbo Orbital Balloon

[Anonymous Coward]

Cut

Units

Nether

Truss

[Anonymous Coward]

EXPLLODES! (exclamation mark strongly recommended)

EXpect

Problems?

Luckily

LOHAN

Only

Descends

Earthwards

Safely

[simlb]

ORGASM

Orbital

Recalcitrant

Globe

Advanced

Suspender

Manipulator

[Yet Another Commentard]

CYRUS

Critical Yank Release Under Stress

[Mr Temporary Handle]

Ouch!

Orbiter Umbilical Cut-away Hack!

[Thomas Gray]

CAT

Cut Aeroplane Tether

[Pet Peeve]

CRASH

Contingency

Rockblock

Abort

System

Housing

What, too on-the-nose?

[Annihilator]

The Orb's Wireless In-flight Ejector (TOWIE)

Just think how confused the people interested in TOWIE would be having googled and ended up here...

[Anonymous Coward]

DIVORCE

Digitally Initiated Voyage and Operations Remote Cancellation Equipment

[Simon Dax]

YANKS

Yet Another Nerdish Kill Switch

[TRT]

PECKoR

Payload

Emergency

Cut-down

Key operated

Remote

[Cliff]

MILEY

Mile-high Irridium Location Establisher Yielder

[Jim Lewis]

EROTIC

Emergency

RockBlock

Operated

Transmitter

Inititiated

Cut-Down

'LOHAN near populated area in EROTIC episode'

[Chris G]

Hmmmm

Electronic

Lohan

Rockblock

Ejection

Gadget

[TaffiaCapoDeTuttiCapo]

REHAB

Remote Emergency Handy Arresting Box?

[Steven Raith]

SCAT

Satellite Comms Accessible Telecoms.

Shut up, I know it doesn't work, I just wanted a justification to type SCAT. :-)

Steven R

[Simple Si]

PISSFLAPS

Portable

Interface

Secure

Safety

Flight

Launch

Aborting

Panic

Switch

[bluefin333]

WINFREY

(W)irelessly

(I)nitiated

(N)oncontact

(F)ailsafe

(R)equires

(E)nergetic

(Y)agi

[Inertia]

Fatally

Underwhelming

Balloon

Apparatus

Recall

==

General

Abort

Function

Facilitator

==

Three-stage

Wayward

Arrest

Terminal

[breakfast]

Peak of the flight?

Cease LOHAN Immediately- Must Abort Xplosively

[Barely registers]

WHAP BAP

"We Have A Problem" Ballocket Abort Panel

[cbars]

FAILED

Fatal Ailment Interrupting Linked Emergency Device

[Chris G]

EVACUATE

I didn't see a rule against more than one try so:-

Extinct

Volcano

Command

Under

Adverse

Telemetry

Event

[Adam-the-Kiwi]

Re: EVACUATE

You're missing an 'A' there. How about:

Emergency

Vehicle

Abort

Command

Under

Adverse

Telemetry

Event

?

[Bernd Lauert]

MORAL

As you refer to a _mighty_ orb. For looking better to native speakers someone have to fix the trailing e.

[Bernd Lauert]

MAD

Mission abort device

[doug johnston]

SPLATTER

Stray Path Lived-in Areas Threatened Termination Execution Realiser

[DrPopylofticus]

BLOFELD

Bye

Low

Orbit

Friend,

Emergency

Lever

Depressed

[Dance of light]

MINAJ

Miniature Intelligent Navigation Abort Jig !

[Paladin]

Can I have three goes?

OOPS!

Orbital Object Payload Severer

DR. NO

Direct Relay Neutralises Orbiter

DO NOT PRESS!

Damn Orbiters' Nearing Only Town Present! Register Expecting S*** Storm!

I'll get my coat!

[chuBb.]

2 for consideration

POPTART

========

Payload

Orb

Parting

Technology

Abort

Radio

Transciever

TULISA

======

Transmitted

Untether (and)

Let-go

Instigation

Saftey

Apparatus

[DrPopylofticus]

JOLIE

Jettison

Orb (from)

LOHAN

In

Emergency

[Davd K Harris]

FECKLESS

Field

Equipped

Communications

Kinesthetic

Learning

Emergency

Status

System

[GaryBarber]

SCISSORS

Satellite

Controlled

Imminent

Sticky

Situation

Orbiter

Release

System

[Rob Carriere]

DEATH

Device to

Eradicate

All

Threats to

Humans

[James Green]

From the photo showing the battery pack...

There appears to be a battery missing, so as well as the comical box we may also have a comical scrabble to sort the loose wire (or in this case the missing battery).

[daveake]

Re: From the photo showing the battery pack...

Er, yes, that's how I switch it off you see :-)

[Professor Falken]

How about....

Physically

Under

Slung

Severance

Yoke

[Rob Carriere]

DISASTER

Device to

Insure

Safe

And

Sound

Termination of

Effort at

Rocketry

[Red Bren]

VAGINA

Vehicle

Abort

Gear

If

Need

Arises

[bluefin333]

LOVELACE

(L)OHAN

(O)rbiter

(V)ertical

(E)mergency

(L)ongrange

(A)ltitude

(C)orrection

(E)quipment

[Sir Sham Cad]

KABOOM

Kill Airborne Balloon Over Operational Mishap

[Professor Clifton Shallot]

Counterintuitive for an orb-freeing mechanism but

Balloon

Release

Apparatus

Is succinct.

[Jim Lewis]

LUNATIC

LOHAN

Undesired

Near

Approach

Transmitter

Initiated

Cut-Down

'LUNATIC prevents disaster after SPEARS failure'

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: LUNATIC

Or, indeed, "That SPEARS LUNATIC is causing trouble in Spain"

[Graham Marsden]

MINGE

Miniature In-flight Navigator Gadget Eliminator

[Dance of light]

LOHAN - shoplift

Sudden High Orbit PuLse Initiated Free Tether

If it does not get used -> LOHAN avoids SHOPlIFT-ing ;-)

[QuinnDexter]

SELINA GOMEZ

Satelite

Enabled

Liberation

Instrument

Nominally

Avoids

Going

Over

Meatsacks'

Existance

Zone

[Paladin]

Another couple - It's been a slow day!

WASTED

Wirelessly Activated System Terminates El' (Reg) Development

(e.g. LOHAN gets WASTED)

COURT

Critical Orbiter Unsafe Release Terminal

(e.g. LOHAN in COURT drama)

[Vortex]

SPHINCTER

Spanish

Pilot

Hazard

Is

Now

Cut

To

Earth

Return

[Vulch]

WHITECAT

Water

Hating

Iridium

TEther

Cutting

Abort

Transmitter

[signpost]

LADSMAG

Last And Definitively Switched Mission Abort Gadget

[Destinys Agent]

I didn't see a rule restricting multiple entries so here goes:

CRUFTS - Craft Returns Uncontrolled From The Sky

GIVE-UP - Gravity Initiates Vehicular Equipment's Unconditional Precipitation

UPLIFTED - Unconditional Panic Letting It Fall To Earth Deliberately

And my personal favorite

SCUPPER - Secure Call Upon Problem Performing Earth Return

[foolonthehill]

Not sure about the final N, but...

KARDASHIAN - Key Activated Remote Detach Apparatus Safely Halting Increased Altitude Now

(or maybe Key Activated Remote Detach Agent Sending Height Interupt Abort Notice.)

[Omgwtfbbqtime]

DRUGS

Destructive

Release

Under

Guidance

Safely

[Anonymous Coward]

FUBAR

Float

Undo

Balloon

Auto

Release

BUGRIT

Balloon

Unlatch

Gizmo

Releases

In

Time

TUFT

That's

Utterly

Fucked

Then

BOC

Beer

O'

Clock

[foolonthehill]

Of course, having already been to REHAB, noone wants to see LOHAN subsequently head off to JAIL:

Just-in-time Abort Instruction Lever

(or perhaps Judicial, as it's been imposed by the Authorities)

[Chris G]

There's more:- Paris

Prompt

Abort

Rockblock

Iridium

Switching

[Pete 2]

Named as it does

Detachable

Radio

Operated

Personnel

Safety

Yanker

or:

Special

Purpose

Long-range

Altitude

Termination

P.S. <gift horse>Does the winner have to pay the £8+VAT/month line rental, or is this thrown in for free?</gift horse>

[sjsmoto]

SOD OFF

Spanish

Overpass

Dump

Offending

Freight

Fast

[Anonymous Coward]

SHOPLIFTER

Satellite Human-Operated PayLoad Imminent Failure Tether Emergency Release

[ElNumbre]

MILEY TWERK

Manual

Intervention

Low

Earth

Yielding

Technical

Weaponised

Explosive

Recovery

Kit

[Robin Bradshaw]

HERPES

High-altitude

Emergency

Remote

Protective

Equipment

System

[feroluce]

SAD FACE

System

Accidental

Drift

FAilsafe

Carriage (or Cargo)

Eject

It also gives you the opportunity for Totally tasteful artwork on the Abort Box.

[Uncle Siggy]

BUST

Bust

Up

Sachet

Terminius

BURST

Burst

Uprising

Random

Sailing

Terminus

BAIL

Bail

Altitude

Initiation

Lever

[John Watts]

KT PRICE

Kill The Payload Reliably In Case of Emergency

or, if we're being strict ...

Kill The Payload Reliably In Certain Emergencies

[Snafu1]

Controller-

Optimised

Neutralisation

Device

Operated

Manually

[Captain DaFt]

Since he's associated with catastrophe and sudden downturns:

E-mergency

L-aunch

O-f

P-arachute

[simlb]

FELLATIO

Fully

Electronic

Lohan

Logistical

Altitude

Termination

Insurance

Object

[simlb]

INCEST

Impending

Non

Compliance

Electronic

Stratodangle

Terminator

[Mr Young]

BRAB -

Big Red Abort Button.

Bonus points for containing the word bra as well hopefully;

[Graham O'Brien]

Since it will result in the high-speed release of a smallish communications unit

NAOMI

Navigation

Abort

Operation

Manual

Initiation

[Ian Michael Gumby]

Something more fitting.

RockBlock

Emergency

High

Altitude

Abort

Button

Pronounced Rehab something that Lohan is very familiar with... ;-)

[Don Jefe]

TOSSPOT

Terminated

Orbit

Safety

System

Primed

On

Takeoff

[Rob Moir]

MILEY

Mission

Inhbiiter

Lohan

EmergencY

[The Vociferous Time Waster]

A few ideas...

Button

Allows

Lohan

Loss

Cause

Orbital

Clean

Kill

Manually

Undergo

Free

Fall

Destroy

Iridium

Verson 2

Extremely

Rapidly

Jetison

Iridium

Safety

Module

Ejector

Jetisons

Every

Conceivable

Trace

Of

Rocket

[Ginger]

OS HIT

Open source high impact terminator

The fact it's probably not actually open source is a minor detail that should troll the stallmanites every time it's mentioned.

[Adam Foxton]

Acronyms suitable for such a Bond Villain-grade piece of equipment

MR BOND

Metropolian Realestate Beckons; Orb Needs [to] Detach

or

GOLDFINGER

Global Orbital Lohan Detonator, Flinging It Near Ground Evacuated Readily

or

GOLDENEYE

Gaseous Orb [of] Lohan detaching; Evacuate Nearby- Elderly, Young? Either.

or

SPECTRE

SPears Emulated CHAV; Try to Recover in Espagne

[Chris G]

RECTAL

RockBlock

Emergency

Command

Terminating

Afunctional

Lohan

[Captain DaFt]

T&A

Terminate

&

Abort

[Eddy Ito]

NOT THERE

National Obligatory Tackle, Tether Hacking Emergency Release Equipment

or perhaps THUD

Terminate Harness Under Duress

[Bill Neal]

BORAT

Ballocket

Operation

Remote

Abort

Transmission / Transmitter

[zemerick]

OH/COCK

Operations

Halt

/

Canceling

Of

Catastrophe

Killswitch

[Alan Esworthy]

ADIOS - Alas, Dying Is Our Sorrow

[Alan Esworthy]

The "Oh Shit Button"

No acronym, no abbreviation, it's simply what one says in these circumstance.

[Eddy Ito]

NOOOOOO!

Neutralizer Of Offensive Operation Over Occupied Occident

[Destinys Agent]

More...

I couldn't help it, the floodgates opened:

FAILSAFE - For Ascent Interrupt Lever (is) Set And Fall Engaged

CANCEL - Cut Ascent Now Confirm Engaged Lever

TERMINATE - Tell Equipment (to) Return My INvention And Thumbs-Up Engager

FINALISE - For Instant Nullified Ascent Lever Is Set (to) Engage

EJECT - Easily Jettison Equipment (and) Confirm Telemetry

STOP - Standard Tethered Operation Panic

FLOAT - For Lack Of Ascent Trigger

PARACHUTE - Panic Actuated Return Apparatus Calling Help Under Tethered Equipment

FALLEN - For A Light Load Engage Negative

TOASTED - Take Orb And Send To Earth Delicately

ERASE - Earth Re-entry Acquired Signal Expected

WIPEOUT - When Is Problem Enter Orb Uplift Termination

ISSUE - Interrupt Safety Set Up Entered

PROBLEM - Payload Replete (with) Orb Busts Loose Employing Machinery

LANDING - Lever Actuated Now Do Initiate Nugatory Glide

SHUTDOWN - Someone Has Undertaken To Down Orb With Notice

AIRBRAKE - Any Interrupt Requiring Braking Reverses Authorised Kit Elevation

PHEW!

[Bernd Lauert]

LOMAKS

LOHAN

Mission

Aborting

Kill

Switch

[Bernd Lauert]

FUCK

For

Use (in)

Case (of)

KAOS

ok, it's kind of recursive. But someone please come up with a good explanation of KAOS.

[Bernd Lauert]

ESFOR

Emergency

System

For

Orbital

Release

you have to wear blue hard hats

[Bernd Lauert]

ARRGH

Advanced

Rockbox

Release (of)

Gummed

Helium

[Anonymous Coward]

Broken

And

Lost

Lohan

Mandates

Electronic

Relay for

Emergency

Ditching

It would be nice to have a loudspeaker announce "LOHAN is not a failure. Is it something we’d like to improve? Of course. WOOOO!" as soon as the abort button is pushed.

[Dr Whoa!]

BUGRIT

Balloon

Untethering

Gadget

RockBLOCK

Iridium

Technology

or possibly

Malfunction

Elimination

Link

Technology

Detach

Ovoid

Windbag

Now

[Ssshock]

DEAD-MEAT

Direct

Emergency

Actuated

Detachment

of

Malfunctioning

Elreg

Airborne

Truss

[Robert Grant]

HITANDRUN

Hard to

Initiate

Termination

Automation.

Next,

Death-dealing

Rockblock

Unfeelingly

Naps.

[goldcd]

OOh purty box

Mission All Fucked Immediate Abort

Button being slang for a Mafia member as well.

[goldcd]

Clitoris

Cut Line, Immediate Termination Order Relayed In Style

[Anomalous Cowshed]

DARWIN

Detrimental Activity Retrieval Without Interfering with Nature

[JustSomeGuyIknow]

LINDSAY

Lives In Near Danger So Abort Yes!!!!

[sibster]

LOHAN needs the

Aerial Abort GROUnd Post

[imanidiot]

NOSEJOB

Network

Operated

Sattelite

Enhanced

Jetison

Of

Ballocket

[Bunbury]

What's needed is and "Oh Crikey" from "Nimmo"

Object height Controlled Reverse If Knowing Espana Yelling

form

Network Interfaced Myopic Machine Operator

[ARGO]

SLAPPER

Shiny LED And Pushbutton Plane Ejection Remote

[simlb]

WHORE

Worryingly

Hazardous

Overhead

Rocket

Ejector

[simlb]

MELTDOWN

Manually

Enabled

Lateral

Trajectory

Defect

Override

Wireless

Nodule

[Tufty Squirrel]

SPAFF - Serious Problem Activates Final Failsafe

GOO - Geosynchronous Orbiter Override

SLAG - Satellite Lohan Abort Gizmo

STIFFY - Satellite Technology Imminent Failure Failsafe Yanker

FAP - Failsafe for Aerial Payload

[Pirate Dave]

MILEY

Manual

Interruptor of

Lohan,

Espana

Yunque

[Don Jefe]

GINGER

Gravity

Interference

Neutralization

Grouping (for)

Emergency

Response

[Phil E Succour]

Blast From The Past

Great

Iberian

Rockblok

Lever

Stops

Airframe

Landing

On

Urban

Development

[foolonthehill]

If we're going to have MILEY, it should surely be:

Manual Improper Location Emergency Yank.

But on the REHAB theme, though we have already seen LOHAN in PLAYBOY, perhaps she would be better if remaining SOBER.

Pulling Lever Activates Yellow-Bellied Overcautious Yank

Spain Ordinanced Balloon Ejection Relay (though of course not quite technically "relaying")

[Captain DaFt]

OK, Last one, I promise.

In such a dire situation, Obviously what LOHAN needs is a:

Harness

Emergency

Release

Option

[doug johnston]

BLOHANA

Ballons Lofted Over inHabited Areas Not Allowed

or

Ballons Lofted Over Habitation Are Not Allowed

[TheDysk]

Not Playing...

I'm not playing anymore. I'm taking my ball (and NIPPLE) home. Hmmfff!

I spent aged playing with my NIPPLE getting it just right. What's wrong with my NIPPLE?

Besides it's not just a bodily organ you know...

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/nipple?q=nipple

Hmmff and double Hmmff.

[topcav]

Lesbos

LOHAN

Emergency

Safety

Bail

Out

System

[Steve Goodey]

CLARKE

How about with a nod to Arthur C Clarke?

Command

LOHAN

Abort

Return

Kit

Earthwards

[Ace Rimmer]

KARDASHIAN

KARDASHIAN

Kills Airplane Really Desperately And Saves Havoc In Arial Nastiness

[ian mccallion]

Raquel

Rockblock Addon Quashing Unwelcome Equipment Landing. (Seems to me it should have a nice feminine, and Spanish(!) name)

[Martin Budden]

OH NOES!

Operate

High-altitude

Networked

Orb

Emergency

System

[Martin Budden]

SNAFU

Signal

Networked

Apparatus

For

Auto-destruct

[newspuppy]

DICKS

Digitally

integrated

Cut-down

Katharsis

System

[Gollum_HKT]

Just hit the DAMN button

Definitely

Abort

Mission

Now

So just hit that DAMN button now!

[Ellis Birt 1]

Arduino

Balloon-release

sub-Orbital

RockBLOCK

Trigger

ABORT!

[Jacksonville]

JFDI

Jettison

Function

Destruction

Initiator

[Jason Bloomberg]

Bollocks!

And a suitable cry should things go tits-up (ooo-er missus)...

Base operator lets loose our 'catastrophe kill switch'.

[Jason Bloomberg]

RIMJOB

Remotely Initiated Mechanism Jettisons Orbital Balloon

[Ash!]

ARMADA

Aerial Release Mechanism And Disaster Avoidance

[Malcolm 2]

Jeri Ryan

Judicious Emergency Remote Initiated Rapid "Yes Abort Now"

[Alan Brown]

PUTA

Plane Uplift Termination Apparatus

Well it is a spanish requirement, after all.

[Jason Bloomberg]

Confusion plus recursion too

LOHAN

LOHAN over habitable area neutraliser

[Portia]

LEGS

LOHAN's Emergency Grounding Switch

[neurochrome]

TWERK = Trapped Wind Emergency Release Knob

Except it's a switch and not a bakelite knob :-(

HOVER = Low Orbit Vehicle Emergency Release system, although I suppose HOVERS could just add a Switch on the end. Either way there's a payload of irony since of course the object of the HOVER switch is to, umm, not hover :-)

Lastly, we could have a LOVER switch with Low Orbit Vehicle Emergency Release.

[nic o'demus]

er...... the Deathonator......?

[Martin Budden]

Would you care to backronymify that?

[deedee]

LOHAN-REHAB

What could be more appropriate?

LOHAN, as it stands already plus the

RockBlock

Emergency

High-altitude

Abort

Box