Did I create an account just to call this guy a bellend of the highest order?
Yes I did.
A self-confessed porn addict is sueing Apple after he claims he became so hooked on watching rude videos that his wife left him. Tennessee man Chris Sevier, 36, has filed a 50-page complaint with the state's supreme court in which he slams the fruity firm for failing to install a blue movie filter on new devices. He wants …
has this excuse not been done to death?
It was not my fault its the (insert anything you want here)
This is the sort of thing you would expect on Jeramy Kyle from the inbreed retards their actors portray so successfully (at least I hope some are actors or we have living proof on what happens when Darwin's theory's are broken by modern medicine)
I was genuinely unaware that my penchant for staging the six inch olypics on a regular basis, was entirely beyond my control. Far from blaming Apple et al, I actually would like to go further back and blame Paul Raymond for not explicitely informing me that the contents of his special interest magazines in the 80s could potentially cause arousal.
In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest.
Think I'll sue her as well.
In fact there was a girl on the tube this morning who was looking pretty hot and wearing quite a short skirt. She was probably hotter than my wife if I'm honest.
I can understand that. I recall the amount of News 24 I watched went up quite sharply when Joanna Gosling went through her strawberry blonde phase 10-15 years back. Never been the same since she went back to shorter and ordinary blonde hair.
Although A / E and U / K are potentially not too far from each other.
And I know from my own experiences I often get the order of letters wrong when the fingers are in full flow (although I don't remember having been that fortunate in my misspellings, I usually jet get wiggly red lines).
But the case is billshut
This smut must be banned from all devices everywhere. In fact, why is he stopping his lawsuit at apple? Apple block porn where they can from the app store, the only way he found it was through the internet, a product which doesn't belong to apple. He should be suing the makers of the internet, or perhaps his ISP for allowing him access.
And waht about suing facebook? It was their url he was searching for at the time, so it must be part their fault, although how he could have put u rather than a, and k rather than e when they're on different sides of the keyboard to one another is beyond me, he still has a legal case dammit.
Apple Inc. has installed a two level protection system that has been shown to prevent porn addiction. Our innovations include hardware tools standard on all Apple computers:
- A 'Mouse' which allows the user to select what media can be viewed.
- A 'keyboard' which allows the user to direct their browser to any of the hundreds of millions of websites that do not contain adult material.
Apple Inc.
Really, really, really, needs to get a life.
I thought the US ethos was all about citizens taking responsibility (not a bad thing) and small government (the jury is out on that one). This person seems to think responsibility ends when there is a rich company you might fleece. I am not a fan of Apple or its products, but in this case I have no choice but to side with Apple.
That all depend on who you are listening to. The Republican party is all about personal responsibility and small government; on the other hand the Democrats are all for the government to protect the people and for a larger government.
Of course this is in theory, in practice its just a colossal cluster-fuck of yelling and mud-slinging.
DARPA for inventing the internet
Sir Tim Berners-Lee for inventing the web
Alan Turing for inventing the Turing machine (and David Hilbert for encouraging him)
Eadward Muybridge for inventing the zoopraxiscope (and for making up a stupid name for himself)
Charles Babbage for inventing the computer
Wrote :- "Why stop there? add the carrier for not filtering, the studio for filming it and the actresses/actors for doing the deed in the first place."
Yes, but his reasoning is that Apple has the most money. For the same reason I am surprised he does not sue Warren Buffett and the Queen for not warning him too.
Surely this constitutes a complete waste of the court's time?
And also, for that matter, a waste of my (and your) time in having read, and now commented on, this article. Can I sue him because his money-grabbing antics have caused a drop in my productivity this afternoon?
Is not a porn site. It's one of those hook up with women to have an affair sites and you need to register to view anything. So he clearly decided to have an affair, visited the site and entered his email, cc details, etc on purpose. It is not possible all this happened by accident or was anyone's fault except his own. No wonder his wife left him.
I hope Apple take him to the cleaners for hundreds of thousands in costs.
"Now I'm wondering if you've been on fuckbook before, if you're at home today, or if you looked it up at work. If it's the third option you are a braver man than I."
Let's see, visit a website geared towards cheating at home or at work. Hmm, at work you could be fired, publicly humiliated, lose your standing in the community and be subject to ridicule. Or check the site out at home... where your wife could find out.
Work is the obvious winner in that scenario!
Ugh, another prime example of how sue happy we are over here. I still get sad when I see a cup of coffee with a "really hot" warning on it. Or a hammer that says "don't hit yourself with this" and all of the other stupid warning labels caused by lawsuits.
Which reminds me, I might sue The Register, yeah, its impacting my job performance. I'm pretty sure its their fault I'm even posting a comment. Yeah, reg, you owe me. Right after I sue YouTube for cat videos, I'm coming after you!
The Internet is really really great! (for porn)
I got a fast connection so I don't have to wait (for porn)
There's always some new site (for porn)
I browse all day and night (for porn)
It's like i'm surfing at the speed of light (for porn)
the internet is for porn
the internet is for porn
why you think the net was born? *
for porn.
porn,
porn.
* cleanish version of the lyrics.
On behalf of writing a good comment I took it upon myself to look into these fuckbook sites (not because I was wondering what the guys definition of pr0n is of course [cough, cough]) and I think he's in luck!
I found 2. The .com variant advertises to have a dating bureau. So if the guy prefers these digi-chicks over his wife then what's stopping him from re-marrying and f*ck happily ever after?
The .net variant even guarantees that you'll get laid. How's that for a sweet deal?
Yeah, I'm completely convinced it was the innernets fault. Of course it wasn't his fault for not listening to his wife when she told him to cut out the crap. Or when she told him: "Either the pr0n goes, or I'm going".
Yeah, the innernets fault. Not his possibly overly protective childhood or living style which eventually rendered him completely vulnerable to stuff which the rest of the world would call casual n00dies...
Dear ISP,
I have lost hours of productivity because of the wicked internet and it's vile filth mongering. I earn at least $40 ph and have calculated that you owe me a begillion doller$.
This takes into account the times I have missed Desperate Housewives on television, blisters, shaving hairy palms. As well as the numerous sick days I had undertaken at work.
Whilst I consider myself to be a mature adult, I find this whole thing absurd, I mean 2 girls one cup WTF, I had to watch it 1 hundred times just to be sure.
Sincerely
Perverts everywhere
"but according to records (PDF) from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility, he cannot currently practise law due to disability. "
After reading this I can only conclude that it is a mental disability he suffers. If the American legal system permits this kind of stupidity then it is truly broken
This cannot succeed surely?
>"but according to records (PDF) from the Tennessee Board of Professional Responsibility, he cannot >currently practise law due to disability. "
I would suggest he is unable to practise law because he thinks a suit like this has any chance whatsoever of not being thrown out with prejucide as soon as a judge stops laughing long enough to speak.
Of course this gentleman obviously has mental health issues and, doubtless, a longer term underlying problem which should be quite sad in itself.
But it's a bloke blaming Apple for his overly enthusiastic wanking habit so it's actually fucking hilarious!
"After reading this I can only conclude that it is a mental disability he suffers."
That's indeed the case - see http://abovethelaw.com/2013/07/lawyer-apple-should-protect-me-from-my-porn-addiction/
The link, btw, is the first site to have reported on this story - it mentions legal trouble that the guy is facing and also another lawsuit against Apple... worth a read.
... is that in the USA, people can sue without threat of consequence. If a judge/jury had a way of saying "No, you're an idiot and this lawsuit is ridiculous because it's your own fault" and Apple had a way to countersue to get damages because the judge/jury said "No, you're an idiot and this lawsuit is ridiculous because it's your own fault", then these sorts of things would stop, or really slow down. However, that would mean less work for lawyers, and America has a legal system of the lawyer, by the lawyer, for the lawyer. The lawyers won't let there be less work for the ABA members.
Once we have personal responsibility in the law, or rather punishment for refusing to admit one's own lack thereof, then we can move on to the civil service. So once again, that ain't happening.
Why does it always seem to be lawyers who start these insane suits. This is just further proof that ambulance chasing vampires need the chickenwire treatment.
I have the highest respect for the Constitution of the United States, but it sorely lacks some amendedments pertaining to our responsibilities. Any sane legal system would throw this out and sue him for wasting the courts time. If ever there were an example of malicious and baseless litigation this is it. Is a car company responsible for you speeding or getting a parking ticket? Send him off to a Chinese reeducation camp.
I am disturbed at the courts for allowing this claim to be allowed.
I am even more disturbed that the litigant thinks he can get away with blaming a 3rd party manufacturer of a bit of hardware/operating system for his porn habit.
Oh I've got a large magazine fully of nuddy pictures.. i can't stop myself .. I must sue National Geographic.
.. yeah .. doesn't quite work when you put it in context does it?
Plaintiff wins, gets costs & possibly some damages
Plaintiff loses, pays own costs, may have to pay other sides costs, but not necessarily.
Plaintiff judged such a fuckwit that they have to pay other side's costs + massive fine for wasting courts time.
We have the same problem here (in a less extreme form) where no-win, no-fee suits against public organisations such as the NHS are effectively risk free, and where the costs of settling are less than the costs of going to court the organisations just swallow the bill. Which means the taxpayers do.
Perfect, my typing skills, using just one hand and half an eye are almo...whoooaa wobbly bits, hairy no tails, arrgghh, fnah fnah, kipperbang urrrghhh....yes it works perfectly.
Yes, on a scale of one to five I'd give it five fingers up...oh God, my experiment is out of control, I'm jizzed for the rest of my sordid life, arrrgh, bottoms, lipstick round the nipples, great googly booglies.
Where's my lawyer?
" Worst of all, the filing reads, none of the shiny happy fanbois and fangurlz at the Apple store warned him what arousing evils were lurking out there on the internet."
It's because they made the mistake, which most people would prior to speaking with him, of assuming he had any common sense. Clearly everyone knows that the internets only true purpose is for porn; they even have informational videos using clever lyrics to tell us what the internets is for.
Sadly Apple isn't to blame, but apparently neither is Chris.
read the contract before you buy
5 C. You understand that by using any of the Services, you may encounter content that may be
deemed offensive, indecent, or objectionable, which content may or may not be identified as
having explicit language, and that the results of any search or entering of a particular URL may
automatically and unintentionally generate links or references to objectionable material.
Nevertheless, you agree to use the Services at your sole risk and that Apple shall have no
liability to you for content that may be found to be offensive, indecent, or objectionable
found this for the license agreement 5 c iphone/ipad& the Mac OS x
6 c for safari for mac
case closed
Now, I know that Apple corps may seem to be omni-present of late, but if we're really going to lay blame and go back to the "original sin", don't you think the guy who first came up with the Apple idea (no, not Steve) should have the blame for this guy's downfall placed firmly at his feet? I mean, who else gave him the hands, eyes and appendages which made him capable of committing these self-debasing acts?
Hey, you can get rid of you're iPad, but hey, you'll still have your hands etc. You KNOW what to do, homeboy, SNIP....