Sadly, a decade to late
and I'm not sure mine would have been what they are looking for. A truly excruciatingly painful experience involving a mid surgery spat with the surgeon, and later, massive bilateral haematomas.
They looked like aubergines (yes, colour AND shape), and I walked with a stick and old cowboy gait for weeks.
Oh wait. This is the sick and twisted interweb were talking about. Would have been perfect.