back to article Jiggy Pennsylvania couple busted by 25 bike cops

A Pennsylvania couple have been cuffed after apparently picking a very unfortunate moment to engage in an al fresco coupling. The luckless pair were arrested by not one, not two, but a whopping 25 bike coppers. According to this report, Richard McBride, 37, and Jennifer Harvey, 41, were spending time in a softball field bench …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Brain bleach required

    Remove the effing link or put a warning on it, it's not suitable for humanity

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: Brain bleach required

      My eyes, my eyes...

      1. Anonymous Custard

        Re: Brain bleach required

        Or at least just give us the Playmobil version...

        Hmm, we need a "Playmobil or it didn't happen" icon here. Then again perhaps it would be better if it hadn't.

        1. Great Bu

          Re: Brain bleach required

          I didn't click the link on my first read through the article, but then I read the comments and went back to check it out.

          Now I know there is no God.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. FartingHippo

            @ Great Bu

            Rather, if there is a god, it is a cruel and sadistic one.

            <--- my face after clicking link. Nearly saw my pain au raisin for the second time this morning.

            1. Craig 28

              Re: @ Great Bu

              Or even more appropriately, if there is a god maybe he decided like other posters have said that the universe should be spared the horror of the offspring and nudged the 25 cycloplods towards them.

              1. Euripides Pants

                Re: @ Craig 28

                But what does God use for Brain Bleach?

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: @ Great Bu

              Hey, I bet she'd be a bit of a looker if she lost a few pounds... ok maybe not :-\

          3. John Smith 19 Gold badge

            Re: Brain bleach required

            "Now I know there is no God."

            On the upside.

            Ugly people get laid too.

            But that's why they call it "Doing the nasty."

          4. Great Bu

            Maybe there is a God.....

            .....on further consideration, she does look like she might be related to Cthulhu......

      2. JeffyPoooh

        Re: Brain bleach required

        I am traumatized for life.


        You have been warned.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Brain bleach required

      While my first reaction was not unlike yours (hence no downvote), the second was a bit more...measured: we're all humans, and 99.9% of us do not look at all like pornstars. Don't we all reserve a bit of love rather than cuffing by 25 bike plods? Unless they all wanted to join the fun?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Brain bleach required

        I am not sure at all that "love" is the word you are looking for. Love is a bit more than a plug finding a socket.

    3. Enrico Vanni

      Re: Brain bleach required

      No wonder he was behind her!

    4. Jason_H

      Re: Brain bleach required

      I didn't click the link because while I hovered over it 'gawker' appeared.

      That's a good enough reason to not click on *any* link as far as I'm concerned. :/

    5. Richard 120

      Re: Brain bleach required

      That was a very similar experience to


    6. Eugene Crosser

      Re: Brain bleach required

      ... or put a warning on it

      "Not Safe For Any Environment"

    7. Piro Silver badge

      Re: Brain bleach required

      Almost lost my lunch.

      I'd have arrested em too..

      1. Crisp

        Re: Brain bleach required

        With all these warnings I'm genuinely curious about the link now.

        Dare I click on it?

  2. tomban

    What has been seen cannot be unseen...

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

      "What has been seen cannot be unseen..."


      1. pepper

        Down the rabbit hole

        There is always Absinth, Vodka or a mix to your own liking..

  3. druck Silver badge

    They also should have been held up on a charge of being too grotesque to procreate.

  4. Muckminded

    When only one cop shows up it's chance. Multiply it by 25 and it means the universe itself is trying to prevent a rip in the continuum.

  5. Richard 81

    Pictures or...

    Judging from the responses of my peers, I take it the usual call for "pictures or it didn't happen" is not required. Indeed, it sounds like "no pictures so it didn't happen" is more appropriate.

  6. Wizardofaus

    Got them bang to rights...

    Like I said..

    1. Ken Y-N

      ...and they'll have her up before the Bench

      I was leaving anyway!

  7. Shaha Alam

    Good Lord, oh the manatee!

    As above.

    1. Barry Dingle

      Re: Good Lord, oh the manatee!

      Is that a reference to:

    2. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: Good Lord, oh the manatee!

      Oh, the huge-manatee ...!

  8. nsld

    Beasteality ?

    Holy sweaty hambeast batman that surely contravenes multiple laws.

    The only one laughing is that guys guide dog!

    Cue the compensation claims from the plod traumatised by that event.....

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Beasteality ?

      That's an interesting one.

      What's the legal definition of "human" and does porking a Hutt qualify as bestiality?

      1. Thomas 4

        Re: Beasteality ?

        Hmmm, I'd probably put a WH40K spin on it and go with Xeniality for loving aliens, derived from "xeno".

  9. Anomalous Cowshed


    But whatever the aesthetic merits of the couple or of one of its members in particular, the funny thing is, whenever there are cops around and they see something they disapprove of (a) they "get shocked", (b) they arrest. They don't point and laugh or snigger or take a picture, or say: "naughty, naughty". They arrest. And if there's no offence that fits the act, they make one up out of bits of other offences.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cor

      On the upside.

      For the first time in a long time - no tasering.

  10. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    IT Angle

    ..."There's a bench, she is bent over the bench and our friend is behind her with his pants down to his ankle, banging away."...

    It's nice to know that there's a park bench somewhere which hasn't been vandalised by the local kids and then removed by 'Leisure Services'...

  11. jake Silver badge

    Frankly ...

    ... if I were a Cop[1] and came across something like this ... and there were no innocent bystanders to behold the details ... I'd salute & ride on ;-)

    Sex is a GOOD thing, as long as it doesn't frighten the children, dawgs, horses & ignorant.

    Now, in a heavily populated area ... perhaps not so much. This doesn't look populated.

    To the idiots griping about the looks of the enamored pair (I haven't, and will not, visit the link), humans come in all kinds of shapes & sizes. Love is blind. And trust me, you'll never boink Paris ... Although why anyone would want to is beyond me (bag of hammers, anyone?).

    [1] I'm not. I breed & train Cop dawgs & horses, though ... and I'm pretty certain that most of the handlers I pass my critters on to would agree with me.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Frankly ...

      Love is blind.

      I reckon its sense of touch must a bit ropey too.

    2. Greggles

      Re: Frankly ...

      The only problem with that is it only takes one of those 25 cops to complain later that a crime (technically that was, no matter how ridiculous) was witnessed and nobody did anything about it, and there's always that one guy

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "There they are, on the first base line," Chitwood said.

    Nope, they're definitely beyond first base.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: "There they are, on the first base line," Chitwood said.

      All your base are belong to us.

      1. Anonymous Custard

        Re: "There they are, on the first base line," Chitwood said.

        All your base are belong to us.

        And in this case, you're welcome to them...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I followed the link

    Now I'm not sure which one was over the bench.

    1. Mint Sauce

      Re: I followed the link

      Dammit! Evil Graham! (see icon)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Them coppers must be traumatised seeing that pair at it. I feel a claim coming on.......

  15. lumphammer46

    got wood

    Must have been one strong effing bench.....

  16. Daedalus
    Thumb Down


    It's spelled D-A-R-B-Y. A derby is a hat.

    1. Chrome

      Re: Limeys!!

      What the hell is a destruction derby then?

    2. Pedigree-Pete

      Re: Limeys!!

      I think you'll find the city of Derby, in Derbyshire was here long before the Derby Hat & the town of Darby.

  17. Daniel B.


    Poor cops, why? WHY? Ok, maybe God sent them there to stop it ... but I'm surprised none of the cops barfed right there...

  18. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    I'm dissapointed... the current crop of commentards.

    Sex, cops on bikes and not a single joke about riding a chopper.

    Icon. Alcohol might help me forget, despite theories about gin and memory delay lines.

  19. Mr Young

    "giving it some stick"

    It was so bad he and all his mates even stopped or fell off their bikes when they saw it!

  20. ShadowDragon8685

    I clicked on the link.

    I wish I hadn't.

    Honestly, though, if I'd stumbled across that, I think my response would have been "I see nothing," and have turned around to depart. I'd imagine it's bad enough getting surprised by one person whilst porking out-of-doors. An entire squadron of police should have been enough to cause someone to expire of embarrassment/shame/surprise.

    I don't think the arresting was really called for. They could've just hustled 'em on - and somewhere else. Hell, I imagine that between them, the twenty-five coppers could have taken up a collection to come up with an hour's stay at a seedy motel for those two. They would've been doing everyone a service - doing the poor twits caught boinking out-of-doors a service, doing the general public a service, doing themselves a karmic service, and doing the internet the service of never bringing those mugshots unto it in context of this story.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That's enough

    To turn me gay.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Last time I checked ( :D) being a LEO meant that you were considered to be at risk of viewing 'graphic' content, and thus to arrest them, someone in the public needs to have reported it first. For just the cops to see it, nothing can be done. Hope they get a good lawyer.

  23. SirDigalot

    So Lando Calrissian

    really did do it with jabba....

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a bunch of cunts you lot can be !

    how do you reckon you'd look in a mugshot ?

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