back to article Can Jonny Ive's new 'iOS Vista' SAVE the BBC's £100m BRAIN? Yes!

"With physical products, we have to feel we can dominate them" - Sir Jony Ive As one of the world’s most successful internet investors – remember, I lost $51bn in just one day while at Woodstock Capital – it’s vital to have your finger on the pulse. Or your finger on someone else’s pulse, which is where my invaluable assistant …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Are you putting too much faith in มาลัย as she keeps finding things that are quickly abandoned?

    1. monkeyfish

      I was saddened to find that มาลัย actually does mean ‘Garland of Flowers’ in Thai. Having finally plucked the courage to put it into goodle translate, I was hoping for something more.

  2. Terry 6 Silver badge
    Angel

    Well.....

    ......I had wondered.

  3. Antony Smith
    WTF?

    Is it just me...

    Now I'm a regular visitor to El Reg but not a frequent commenter, but after reading this I couldn't help but pipe up.

    Reg, you produce gobs of brilliant content but quite frequently, some absolute shite.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Is it just me...

      "Reg, you produce gobs of brilliant content but quite frequently, some absolute shite."

      Think of this as their "Strategy Boutique" section..

    2. Gazareth

      Re: Is it just me...

      Personally I place the Bong articles in the 'brilliant content' category. Up there with Stob for me!

      Each to their own though :)

    3. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: Is it just me...

      Look at it as real- like Yes, Minister.

      Then everything makes perfect sense.

    4. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: Is it just me...

      Now I'm confused. Is this, in your mind, brilliant content, or absolute shite? Are you being ironic, or in fact completely missing the heavy lashings of irony in this article? Are you being cleverly 'meta', or just dumb?

    5. phuzz Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Is it just me...

      At least this week there's no comments from people who are unsure if they just read satire or a genuine article.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bring back "rate this article"

    "you produce gobs of brilliant content but quite frequently, some absolute shite."

    That's your opinion, and fair enough.

    I happen to like Mr Bong. It's nearly as funny as some of Matt Asay or Lewis Page's stuff (I can't mention the O name, obviously).

    1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. Lunatik
        Black Helicopters

        Re: Bring back "rate this article"

        You too, huh?

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bring back "rate this article"

        "You can't mention the O name without him putting your account on the pre-approval posting list,"

        Judging by the clusteredness of timestamps on comments on his articles now comments are sometimes allowed, *everybody* commenting is on his pre-approval posting list.

        Still, we wouldn't want anyone upset unnecessarily would we.

  5. Frankee Llonnygog

    iLarious

    Laugh? I nearly

    Don't give up the day job.

  6. BristolBachelor Gold badge
    Alien

    A man from mars

    Is that you? Have you suddenly returned after your 2009 trip back to Mars?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Of course not all dream-based web redesigns are as successful as iOS 7."

    Bong in the head. WTF with the baby albatross. So he's one of the masterminds of the 100M failure then?

    Just goes to show, money donesn't make a man, and you don't have to be intelligent to make loads of it!

    1. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge

      @AC

      You don't get it, do you? This is satire.

  8. IHateWearingATie
    Go

    I liked it...

    ... not sure what that says about my sense of humour.

  9. frank ly

    A germ of a good idea

    I like the idea of croudsourcing a major 'public sector' development and having a public repository for the code, and perhaps the system and hardware designs. If people want good facilities and services then they will have to design them for themselves.

    1. MattEvansC3

      Re: A germ of a good idea

      well you could argue crowd sourcing is us all being in it together

    2. GrumpyOldBloke

      Re: A germ of a good idea

      The government does seem to have the crowd funding part of the process down pat.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bong is a genius, truly a visionary on a different level.

  11. David Hicks
    Go

    Awesome

    Truly a zeitgeisty summation of the state of the software nation!

  12. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Bing!! Bang!!! Bong!!!

    Excellent Reg. Chirped my Friday up no end knowing that there are such visionaries such as Mr B out there. If he has any vacancies in his organisation coming up please let me know...

    1. 'มาลัย'

      Re: Bing!! Bang!!! Bong!!!

      PLEASE APPLY TO BONGVENTURES@GMAIL.COM BUT PAPER APPLICATION PREFERRED ESPECIALLY WITH ENCLOSED PICK-ME-UP.

      SORRY BUT MR BONG DOES NOT GET UP UNTIL 4PM - LIKE ALL SHOREDITCH TECH COMPANY.

      GLAD TO BE OF ASSISTANCE

      มาลัย

  13. Greg D
    Thumb Up

    hah!

    Great read :)

    The irony and sarcasm were perfect.

  14. PHFWALES
    Mushroom

    Bejabered

    Wow. Having just tested gov2 I have confirmed absolutely all the liinks lead to zero info. Was this the object? Secondly why? what? when? and how? A great report!

  15. Kubla Cant Silver badge
    WTF?

    Icons

    Great article, but the government icons are beyond irony. I thought the image was a spoof, until I followed the link and saw the real thing.

    "a handy reminder of the different content formats" - I've stared at these icons for 10 minutes, and I can't imagine what content format any of them might represent. An arrowhead pointing up at two circular bands? Somebody tell me that's the recognised international symbol for "application/ecmascript" or something, before my brain explodes.

    1. tony2heads
      WTF?

      re: Government icons

      The pointy thing with rings above - does that signify ' sit on it and spin' ?

  16. Alan Denman

    IOS Vista - well skin me alive

    What rubbish.

    The main IOS 7 change is simply a skin.

    With Vista we got a whole kitchen sink full of bloat in very much the same skin.

    AS most of us know with Android, you can choose and change a skin in seconds, as IOS will do/ impose.

    Skins are no big deal, it is what underneath that really matters.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least get his name right

    It's (Sir) Jonathan Paul 'Jony' Ive.

    1. Candy

      Re: At least get his name right

      Abnormal message content due to Missing Point error. Please recalibrate for satire and retry.

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