back to article Lonely-heart Maltese techie vs Bonnie Tyler for Eurovision crown

A hopelessly sweet song about a ruthlessly organised techie who gets the girl will fight with the ballad from rock vixen Bonnie Tyler and 24 other acts to lift the Eurovision Song Contest crown Saturday night. Gianluca Bezzina will represent not just his home land of Malta but carry the misty eyed wishes of girl-shy geeks …


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  1. Mark York 3 Silver badge

    The Name Of The Doctor

    Gianluca Bezzina - Is this the spoiler The Moff's fuming about?

    Still no TARDIS icon.

  2. EddieD


    The chances of the UK wining the heavily politicized mess that is Eurovision is nil - I think that's why we've taken to wheeling out some aging artiste

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmm

      If we just ignore the block-voting for a moment... for years the UK treated Eurovision as amateur night, while some other countries took it really quite seriously and entered some of their top acts. The key to KATW's win was that whilst they may have been largely forgotten here (with the exception of *that* song continuing to pop up everywhere from national TV adverts to amateur panto) they continued to do quite nicely over there in Forrinland and were still headlining quite big festivals through the nineties. So they were already known and liked by the target.

      Tyler has a similar pedigree, with hit singles as recently as 2004 (sez Wikipedia).

      FWIW I have fondled the actual 1997 Eurovision trophy. It is the ugliest piece of glasswork you have ever seen, but it does come in a very nice wooden box.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm

        "for years the UK treated Eurovision as amateur night".

        I agree, but we're still not taking it seriously. Replacing amateurs with pensioners is not going to win us anything.

        Other countries that don't care (e.g. France, Spain, Germany, Ireland) frequently come up with something quirky or fun or outrageous.

        Our entries are merely boring.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hmm

          "we're still not taking it seriously."

          We don't need to. London completely and utterly dominates the European music scene.

    2. Elmer Phud

      Re: Hmm

      "It's 16 years since Britain's last Eurovision win with Katrina and the Waves in 1997 and 16 years before that that Cheryl Baker and Jay Ashton opened El Tell's eyes by having their skirts whipped off on stage at The Hague. Statistically speaking, this should be our year."

      There's a possibility that the U.K. may win this year or next -- though if they are the usual shite then it may take a bit longer.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A Katie Perry-inspired trashy bride routine from Finland that involves a lesbian kiss

    I know where my vote is going....

  4. Torben Mogensen

    17 May?

    I'm pretty sure you mean that the show starts 8pm on 18 May rather than 8pm today..

  5. Bakunin

    "Among those battling to avoid nil points are ..."

    I think you meant to say "Among those battling to get nil points are ..."".

    There aren't many countries left in Europe that can afford to host that particular financial albatross. I keep waiting for Ireland to submit "My Lovely Horse". Last year they got pretty close.

  6. Jason Bloomberg
    Paris Hilton

    A deep-throated Romanian

    That made my Friday and nearly ruined my keyboard.

    As the dentist said of Linda Lovelace; best set of teeth I've ever come across.

  7. Cliff

    Subliminals - brilliant

  8. Anonymous C0ward

    Sounds like the Finns are getting my vote.

  9. Flakey

    The singer from Romania looks like an extra from The Twilight Saga or Buffy The Vampire Slayer

  10. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Re: Vote with your conscience

    Already got the pre-recorded stuff lined up.

    The ESC hasn't been any fun since they got the scoreboard & voting working properly. Bloody modern technology.

  11. Stevie

    Good Grief!

    Do people still do the Eurovision Song Contest thing? Why? Even in my day it was simply a way to get an otherwise established act to sing the worst song ever recorded in <insert language>, then line 'em up so we could all have a good laugh.

    Power to all my friends, to the music that never ends! (No matter how much you beg).

    1. Lars Silver badge

      Re: Good Grief!

      Why take it so damned seriously. Show business is show business, entertainment, no more, and you can have a beer on me if BT does not end up in the top three. IT, never mind, it's Friday after all. Relax.

  12. hamsterator

    Bonnie Tyler rules! So funny, I was listening to "Just Call Me Angel" when I read the article. I used to torture our electro-beat purchaser with her music a few years back,

  13. Adair Silver badge


    And all in the best possible taste!!!!

  14. James O'Shea

    Achtung! Zombie!

    I was certain that Bonnie Tyler was long dead... and, from that pic, I was right.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old timers.

    If they were going to get an 'old timer' proper singer to represent us, they should have picked this lot.

    That would have been a Eurovision show worth watching.

    We should go back to taking the piss next year by having Mr Blobby represent us.

    In Eurovision terms that'd be a sure fire winner

  16. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    Was it just me thinking.

    I could quite see the UK and the German entry on a mother/daughter night out.

    Probably involving quite a lot of alcohol and a male strip show.....

  17. Will Godfrey Silver badge


    Meh again

    and in case you didn't get the message - see icon.

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