"Apart from a general sense of weariness, punctuated by occasional lust for a bacon sarnie with brown sauce, I feel reasonably plausible"
This describes 90% of my waking moments.
It's day four of my "Live Below the Line" challenge to survive for five days on just a fiver for nosh, and while things are going well overall, I fear a storm is brewing. Since Monday I've been subsisting on a diet comprising pretty much just fried egg butties, chickpea stew, rice and tea - livened up with the results of some …
Are you allowed to purchase dry-goods in bulk in advance? I buy rice, beans, flour and polenta/grits in 50/lb bags as a matter of course ...
I'm pretty certain that the Wife & I can eat for a month on about US$40 in purchased supplies. I doubt we break US$75 very often as it is.
All our herbs, meat, veg & dairy is farmed on-site ... As is our wine & beer & bread. I make my own salt from seawater. My coffee & her tea are exceptions ... but I do buy my coffee green & roast it myself. Somewhat strangely, the IRS insists that my time is valueless ;-)
"If you buy in advance you could then plant it."
I do. My veggie garden is about 28 acres :-)
"If you get enough you can produce your own food and nearly eat for free.
It's not "free", per se ... I have equipment, soil conditioning, feed, vet & fuel costs. But it's a hell of a lot cheaper than US$1.99/lb potatoes and US$4.99 tomatoes. This evening, we (me, wife, foreman, wife) enjoyed an italian/scots/american variation of Bistecca alla Fiorentina, cut from one of my Belted Galloway steers about 5 weeks ago. At 3 pounds, and 4 weeks of dry aging, Sonoma Market would happily sell me one for about US$90. My total cost was probably no more than about six bucks.
"If you get too much you will become a farmer and have to mortgage yourself to the hilt just to let the supermarkets take it away."
Nah. I consign quite a bit to a local fruit stand. I also give a lot of it away to locals in need.
Now we know the real reason why Lester was digging a big hole last year!
Incidentally, while tracking down that article, I came across another of Lester's that might come in handy, although I think even these will be straining at the seams...
Surprisingly (to the uninformed) mixing flatulence producing items reduces the output rather than increasing it.
Cabbage and beans both cause a touch of wind in me - but combining the two results in boring lift journeys.
I would recommend, from the heart of my bottom, a large coleslaw made with a green savoy cabbage next time the boss persuades you to take your car on that long trip when the finance director has just cut mileage again!
Why would I want to eat charcoal? The simple pleasure of a well formed, properly timed guff is one of life's pleasures. From the varied pungencies, half-lives, volumes and auditory effects much joy is to be had. You can even change the future: Drop your guts in an emplty lift, and you increase the odds of an attractive lady getting in the lift by a couple of orders of magnitudes (albeit you'll be treated to a dirty look, and labelled in office gossip as a filthy blighter).
Sorry to drag you down even further but your tubes are going to get even worse.
Once you have completed your fast you are going to celebrate with some sort of binge. Your body, by then, will be used to the sort of diet that the most ascetic monk would accept and there is going to be a seismic explosion as it it rejects the sudden influx of rich nosh, booze etc.
Advise your neighbours who cannot evacuate while you evacuate to buy earplugs and clothes pegs.