back to article Game designer spills beans on chubby-fancying chap with his stolen Mac

A video game designer says he's planning to cash in on his story of spying on a chubby-fancying pr0n-lover who came into possession of his stolen laptop. The London-based designer, who prefers to remain anonymous, is looking to monetise his (NSFW) Plumpergeddon blog detailing his surveillance of his Macbook Pro’s new owner. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I like it !

    Only one problem with it. Is Mr. Plumpy the miscreant that stole the device, or is he just a man who bought a second hand laptop on the local second hand website ?

    In any case, I find the ineptitude of the local plod sickening. This is a robbery crime in which they have been handed a trail, but apparently they prefer sitting around playing with their genitals instead of restoring a modicon of belief in the system for a tax paying citizen. Makes me want to barf.

    1. Lionel Baden

      Re: I like it !

      on the blog it states the "plumper pass" was purchased with his card.

      1. The BigYin

        Re: I like it !

        Ah - ok. Looks like "Plumper" is the thief then.

      2. foo_bar_baz

        Re: I like it !

        Plumpy was also selling stuff on Ebay that matched purchases made on his credit card.

        1. shade82000

          Re: I like it !

          So why not wait for an eBay listing, ask him for cash on collection and take a couple of heavies with you to meet him?

          We can all point the finger at the police for lounging about, but it seems like there are some things he can do to track this guy himself.

          Sounds like he's just playing a game with the thief, but fair play to him ... I would love to do something like that.

          1. Titus Technophobe
            Thumb Up

            Re: I like it !

            Lock him in a box and put him on Ebay ......

            1. Thomas 4

              Re: I like it !

              I actually wrote an article about something similar for All About Symbian a few years back. I'd bought a second hand Panasonic phone off ebay and when i received it it had someone's bank account details on it. I called one of the numbers on the phone and it turned out it had been stolen in Manchester a few weeks back. Contacted eBay - they didn't want anything to do with it. Contacted Paypal - they didn't want anything to do with it. Went to the police station with a complete record of all emails between me, the seller, ebay, the works - nothing came of it. I returned the phone to the young lady it had been stolen from but wasn't able to get a refund from either Paypal or eBay.

              1. kraut

                Re: I like it !

                That's why you use creditcards (yes, even with paypal). They're usually happy to do charge backs.

              2. MonkeyCee

                Re: I like it !

                Erm, really?

                I mean, everything apart from no refund from paypal/eBay? Just report it as "goods not as described" and paypal will whip the money right back.

                It's the main way that I've been scammed on eBay, by people buying things from me, then either reporting them as not delivered (if no signature required) or "not as described". Get into a dispute and your paypal is locked up.

                I get accused of being racist for not shipping to certain nations without cash upfront. But if half my packages to Spain and Italy "go missing" or are mysteriously swapped enroute, then no sale. Will accept bitcoins tho :)

              3. garbo
                Meh

                Re: I like it !

                Sadly, Q.E.D. - good guys finish last...

          2. This post has been deleted by its author

          3. Andrew Jones 2

            Re: I like it !

            If you pop along to the actual website you will see that not only has he provided the police with the screenshots and webcam footage but also the address the laptop is at as well as the address the thief gets his purchases delivered to (his mum/sister/aunty) - the only reason the guy hasn't confronted the thief is because the police would no doubt arrest him for harassment or some nonsense - even with 2.5GB of evidence prooving "Mr Plumper" IS the mugger - the Police have "closed the investigation pending further leads"

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I like it !

        « on the blog it states the "plumper pass" was purchased with his card. »

        Well, maybe he bought the card at the same second-hand shop as the laptop.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I like it !

      I would imagine that the used price would be so low as to be obviously hooky.

      If you set the price too high and people start asking questions about the origin, warranty and receipts etc.

    3. Carl
      Thumb Down

      Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

      ...and they did nothing.

      The thief parked it illegally in his street and I got the ticket.

      So I told police where it was.

      They didn't do anything as at this point it was a civil matter, apparently.

      I was also warned that I'd be arrested if I went and stole it back.

      The most helpful thing the police did was to ensure the car go re-registered in his name so police would know who to nick if the car was cammed speeding or parked illegally.

      1. kraut

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        If you find *your* car parked somewhere you don't remember parking it, unlock it with your key and drive it off, it's hardly stealing? Or is our justice really so foo-barred that you'd get into trouble for that?

        1. JohnG Silver badge

          Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

          "If you find *your* car parked somewhere you don't remember parking it, unlock it with your key and drive it off, it's hardly stealing?"

          Quite. If it is your property, by definition, you would not be stealing it. Furthermore, if the Police couldn't be arsed to arrest the actual thief, they are hardly going to get around to arresting the rightful owner (they'll likely be too busy looking for kerbs to trip over or totting up their bungs from the press).

      2. kissingthecarpet
        Trollface

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        Not that helpful really, because now he appears legit, so if you drove it off, you'd no longer appear to own it (?) although I suppose he isn't insured etc.

        In fact, sooner or later its going to be impounded, I think when the insurance/MOT comes due, if its on the road - you bet they won't tell you if it has been impounded. The whole thing sounds like you have a civil case against the police, surely? Unless of course, they have some government-granted loophole.

        Nothing shocks me about the filth's behaviour. What is really shocking is that not one of them has ever been successfully prosecuted for murder or manslaughter despite 1433 people dying since 1990 after "some contact" with police. I know they're not all dodgy but I don't think words are adequate to describe the horror that at least some of those must have experienced.

        I've surprised myself TBH by how angry I am about that :-)

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        Did you have insurance to cover the theft? If not, I can't see why you could be arrested for stealing your own property that is still legally registered to you. If you did, and you don't mind breaking the law a bit to get back at the thief, there's a whole range of options from dumping sugar in the tank to setting it on fire from which you could avail yourself.

        If I was in a similar situation and the police basically told me to stuff it, I'd call the local newspapers and TV stations. I'm sure at least one of them would be interested in my story, and while I still might not get the car back, it'd make the police look like the morons they were for doing nothing about a stolen car. You might want to avoid even the slightest infraction for a while if you went that route, police don't like to be called out as morons even (especially) when they are.

      4. garbo
        Facepalm

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        So, it's a crime to retrieve your own stolen car?

      5. MJI Silver badge

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        I have heard of this before (someone saw their other car on the road and started to follow it) and yes I would have recovered my own car.

        In the above one they were threatened with arrest if they followed it.

      6. Piro

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        This is almost too much.

        Just take the spare key and take your car back.

      7. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cops? Ha! I had an entire CAR stolen

        After they re-registered it, I would have stolen it, shoved a piece of wood on the accelerator and aimed it at the police car lot. Oh, go speeding through some speed cameras too.

    4. Mage Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: I like it !

      Or is it a faked theft and Mr Plumpy is an accomplice to make the Blogger money from Porn?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    actual theft of a tangible item...

    You'd have a better case if it was just copyright "theft" then the cops would be right in there !!!

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
      Pirate

      Re: actual theft of a tangible item...

      Well I expect the pornographers to do the blogger for copyright infringement. (He's posted screen caps of their copyrighted content.) Welcome to the 21st Century: one big parrotty error.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "parroty error"

        Upvoted!

        Polly want a cracker?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Yes, har-de-har, excuse for a jab at the RIAA et al, fair enough but it is getting a little tired now.

      Not least because your comment is not even remotely close to the truth.

      In the UK the police have never been and are not at present involved in any cases of "copyright theft" or "piracy" because copyright is a civil matter

      1. Carl

        Re: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

        "In the UK the police have never been and are not at present involved in any cases of "copyright theft" or "piracy" because copyright is a civil matter"

        Not if it's with intent to resell the copyrighted materials.

        Meanwhile, the pr0n screen captures are clearly fair use.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

          AFAIK pr0n gets out as "not copyrightable" in some countries. No idea the laws here... does anyone?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: actual theft of a tangible item...

      Good point. Now I finally have a good excuse for loading the thing up with pirated material..

    4. garbo
      Devil

      Re: actual theft of a tangible item...

      Ah, finally, the reason we have police!

  3. jake Silver badge

    Not good, dude.

    "The Office of the Information Commissioner was cc'd in their reply but didn't bother contacting me with any further details. I warned him a year ago I'd go public if they didn't act, so now I am."

    You "warned" a public official? What a fucking idiot.

    Willful, intentional, and public vigilantism will only get you into trouble if the perp/ROSG gets hurt as a result of you publicizing this.

    HTH, HAND.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Not good, dude.

      Oh give it rest!

      From the information the victim seems pretty damn sure the perp was the one who nicked the laptop and credit cards in the first place, evidence of sales of the goods he bought with the cards.

      Too much of this "Ah the poor criminal, think of his rights.". Well what about the victim's rights? The right to be able to walk safely on our streets without being attacked by sexually deviated chubby-chasing robbers with a Mac fetish!

      1. Ty Cobb
        Devil

        Re: Oh give it rest!

        What do you have against Chubby Chasing? At least only moderately chubby...

        1. kissingthecarpet
          Go

          Re: Oh give it rest!

          They're easy to catch.... I agree though, although I imagine the women he likes are rather offputting to most. We're not talking about pleasantly voluptuous here, we're talking "call the Hiab lorry to take her to hospital to get her pressure sores done" I reckon.

        2. jonathanb Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Oh give it rest!

          I prefer curvy ladies to stick insects, but not the ones in those photos. They are morbidly obese, not chubby.

      2. kissingthecarpet
        Trollface

        Re: Not good, dude.

        Of course we should have the freedom to walk the streets unmolested by twats. But

        a) you know the law in the UK is never about the vic & never will be - the crime is against the Crown.

        b) This is about the plod being bone idle, whatever bullshit excuse they trot out. They are the last people to give a toss about anyone's rights... except their rights of course(like if they trip over a kerb "investigating" a robbery )

        They'd love to bring back backseat confessions & all that lovely 70's style nastiness in a flash. They're bound to interpret any kind of law to do with any human rights in the most stupid,sulky way as possible in the vain hope that said laws will look stupid & will be forgotten about & they can go back to nicking who they like.

  4. adnim

    The blog

    makes a fascinating read.

    I am shocked about the way the police dealt with the evidence presented to them. Or is this typical of West London police?

    1. Adam R
      Thumb Down

      Re: The blog

      This is pretty typical behaviour by the police in London I would say.

      I had a motorbike fitted with a tracker stolen about 6 months ago. Tracking system went live 20 seconds after the thieves had stolen it, the company who provided the tracking service kept me up to date and passed all the data onto the Met police control room in pretty much real time.

      I actually saw the data afterwards and they had a live track of the bike being moved through the streets and its final resting location. (lock up garage in a scummy estate). It even knew when the thieves were disconnecting the electronics to try and disable it (so they knew someone was in the garage)!

      Police simply couldn't be arsed to go there and recover the bike. Took them 4 days to actually get a warrant to go in after I adopted an approach of calling them every 30 mins to ask for an update. Of course by this time it was gone, along with about 6 other stolen bikes that were in there! (just their disconnected trackers left according to the report)

      After my experience its no surprise to find that an average of 35 motorbikes are stolen each day in central London (almost none of which are recovered). Some insures are now refusing to insure for theft inside London!

      1. jubtastic1

        Re: The blog

        Had mine stolen from a parking bay in South Kensington, right under the nose of a CCTV camera mounted to a lamppost, neither the Police or the council ever discovered who was running the camera, it didn't seem to concern them that someone had installed it overlooking a bike bay.

        It was a few years ago but it turned out that there was just one copper in London who was assigned to bike thefts.

        1. The First Dave
          Headmaster

          Re: The blog

          To be fair, every bike off the road is an accident prevented, so why would Plod want to recover any?

          1. I like noodles

            Re: The blog

            "To be fair, every bike off the road is an accident prevented"

            So all the stats that show it's more often than not car driver's hitting us are wrong then?

            I know you're trolling, but I can't help biting on that one.

            1. Richard 120

              Re: The blog

              "To be fair, every bike off the road is an accident prevented"

              Let's consider taking either cars of the road or bikes as separate scenarios.

              1. Taking the bikes off the roads, I would expect more cars on the road, more congestion, more accidents between cars.

              2. Taking cars off the road, I would expect far far fewer fatal accidents, fewer serious accidents, the same or fewer minor accidents, far less congestion.

              In any case, when I drive I am not stuck in traffic I AM traffic.

              When I cycle I am not risking my life, the dangerous drivers are risking my life, and I'm pretty much never traffic, either being it or stuck in it.

              The point of view of The First Dave is askew somewhat.

            2. My Alter Ego

              Re: The blog

              Well, it can be quite difficult to avoid the biker who suddenly plants himself in front of your car - if the traffic is already doing 80, there's no need to filter. I also got overtaken by a bunch of bikers pulling wheelies past me last Sunday week. They wouldn't have been doing that if they'd seen the biker being lifted off the A34 into an air ambulance earlier that day.

              I'm not trying to tar all with the same brush, but I've come across far too many lunatics in the last two weekends - probably because it's the first "nice" weather we've had.

            3. The First Dave
              WTF?

              Re: The blog

              I've never really understood why a bike going up the wrong side of a lorry that is indicating left, and comes out as strawberry jam is always described as having been hit by the lorry.

              1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

                Re: The blog

                A lorry turns left across the bike lane with a nice steel barrier - and it's the cyclists fault.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: The blog

            To be fair, every idiot driver would be an accident prevented. Sounds like you need your licence taken away too...

            Yeah, downvote this...

          3. This post has been deleted by its author

          4. Nuke
            Thumb Down

            @The First Dave - Re: The blog

            Wrote :- "every bike off the road is an accident prevented, so why would Plod want to recover any?"

            It's not off the road. The thief, or whoever he sold it to, is riding it. Probably a dodgy rider too.

          5. garbo

            Re: The blog

            To be fair, you've never experienced the exhilaration of riding a motorbike. It comes a very close second to riding a horse. And I suspect you've done that, either. Stay inside your Toyota Whatever. It's "safer".

      2. Sandra Greer
        Holmes

        Plod these days

        Anyone know if it is better or worse since Thatcher? I'm a Merkin and have been wondering.

      3. Marshalltown

        Re: The blog

        "Took them 4 days to actually get a warrant..."

        Hmm, possibly it isn't the police but the judicial system that's the real problem. Of course the police could have been slow preparing a warrant for signature, but if they can't find a judge - make that a magistrate - with adequate time to take a pen and sign the warrant ... It could also be that due to screwy procedural rules evidence developed by a victim can't be used to obtain a warrant.

        1. garbo
          Devil

          Re: The blog

          What if a policeman's bike was stolen? Would it take any less time or more activity to get on the case? Only joking...

      4. AchimR
        FAIL

        Re: Motorbike thefts London

        Sorry for your loss :(

        Didn't one of Carole Nash's studies state 50% of UK bike thefts occur in London?

        London's bike thefts is one of the reasons I don't live there any more and rarely go to other than to places where I know it'll be secure.

        Met Police is a disgrace when it comes to this... :(

        Fail, because that's what the MPS mostly is

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The blog

      Yeah.... all wankers to a man

  5. JetSetJim Silver badge

    Nice, but..

    I imagine he'll soon be arrested for breaching Plumpy's privacy, causing him stress, etc...

    I'm surprised the local rozzers aren't keen on just wandering round to the (I assume provided) GPS coordinates and knocking on the door to get it back, although in the last week I assume they were all told to prioritise guarding a coffin over actual criminal acts.

    1. Justice
      Happy

      Re: Nice, but..

      Is it really invasion of privacy though?

      It is, after all, his laptop.

      Surely he can access his own property as and when he sees fit?

      Would love to see Film4 pick this up.

      SO funny.

      1. JetSetJim Silver badge

        Re: Nice, but..

        It is invasion of privacy, and possibly a breach of the Data Protection Act - considering he's taking pics of other peoples activities in their own home and posting them on t'internet. Shitty, I know, but the cookie has crumbled that way.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nice, but..

          What kind of "Data" is covered by the data protection act, in your head, in this scenario?

          1. JetSetJim Silver badge

            Re: Nice, but..

            Nothing "in my head", merely the personally identifiable information (namely pics of Plumpy) being distributed to all and sundry. That's why you can get in trouble (in theory) if you have a security cam that points off your property and takes pics of neighbours as they go about their business on their property.

            1. Bobthe2nd

              Re: Nice, but..

              LOL nice one JetSetJim.. its not a case of having a camera pointing over the fence into your neighbours garden where they are likely to expect a degree of privacy. Its more like your neighbour stealing your camera and sticking in their front room!

              You obviously have no idea what the Data Protection Act is or covers, do you get your legal advice from the Daily Mail? :)

        2. Tom 7 Silver badge

          Re: Nice, but..

          I've got a EULA on my laptop so if its stolen I can do what the fuck I like with the images you have agreed to be distributed.

          That's how EULA's work isn't it?

      2. teebie

        Re: Nice, but..

        It clearly is an invasion of privacy to publish pictures of someone as they pootle around at home, not aware they are being recorded.

        So the question is whether doing so is a proportionate response to the theft.

      3. Hollerith 1

        Re: Nice, but..

        If you have stolen property, even if you bought it thinking it was fine, it can still be taken from you and restored to its rightful owner. So Plumpy can't call the laptop 'his own property'. And, if it seems, he was the thief, or knew it was stolen goods, then he can't even bleat about how he never knew and it's so unfair etc.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Big Brother

      Re: Nice, but..

      yeah that's right because that would be the easier option rather than tracking down the perp.

      Then again I understand the cybercrime unit is understaffed and perhaps the tracking down of the laptop via online means falls under cybercrime division. (maybe, I don't know).

      I would have joined that division but I don't want to travel to bleedin' London every day - tried it once, didn't like it. (that is travelling to London, not plumpers)

  6. Steve Button
    Alert

    Careful here

    I think "Plumpy" might at worst be in line for receiving stolen goods, but what you are doing could be viewed as a lot worse. Think about it.

    1. JohnG Silver badge

      Re: Careful here

      "I think "Plumpy" might at worst be in line for receiving stolen goods, but what you are doing could be viewed as a lot worse. Think about it."

      I thought about it and decided that if the photos and remaining 2.5GB of data weren't sufficient evidence that the person in the photos was the thief or at least, a recipient of stolen goods, then there is any enough evidence of any crime being committed by publishing the photos. The thief could try a civil case but then he would have to explain how he came into possession of someone else's Macbook.

  7. Rampant Spaniel

    What do you expect from a gunners fan ;-)

    Good on the guy for posting the images etc maybe the plod will do something now someone has done most of their job for them.

    1. Eugene Goodrich
      Paris Hilton

      Doing most of the plods' work for them...

      ... could upset them. What if they feel it's their job and you're telling them how to do it? Or, worse, being a vigilante!

      No sheep icon yet, I see.

  8. hplasm Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Good on you man!

    Name and shame, that was the 'tough on crime idea' , I wonder what became of that?

    Don't forget to apply for a rebate of your Council Tax for doing the Met's job for them.

    Make Chubby-guy a household name!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah the incompetence of the police.

    If they cant be bothered to solve a crime then they won't, not matter how much of your job you do for them. My sister had the same thing when her bike was stolen in reading.

    Police: "There's nothing we can do, there's no evidence to suggest it was stolen or who by"

    Sister: "What about store CCTV footage?"

    Police: "They don't have CCTV covering that area of the store.

    Sister goes to store, demands the CCTV footage for the time period she was at the store, they tell her it's been deleted. She points out the data protection act states they have to keep it for 30 days, if they've delted the data afte rless than 2 she's going to be taking them to court for breach of DPA. About a half hour later she had the footage. Took it to the police.

    Police: "Sorry there's nothing we can do for you, there's no evidence the bike was stolen."

    Sis: "That's me on my bike, that's me chaining my bike, that's somebody else stealing my bike. How is that not evidence that it's been stolen?"

    Police: "There's nothing we can do"

    We both agree that the odds of getting the bike back were 0 to none. But it'd be nice to the police to at least try doing their jobs, or admit theres no chance of finding it rather than feeding apathetic bullshit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      Talking of apathetic bullshit, the Data Protection Act doesn't say CCTV footage has to be kept for 30 days.

      source, ICO website;

      "8.3 Retention

      The DPA does not prescribe any specific minimum or maximum retention periods which apply to

      all systems or footage. Rather, retention should reflect the organisation’s own purposes for

      recording images.

      You should not keep images for longer than strictly necessary to meet your own purposes for

      recording them."

      http://ico.org.uk/for_organisations/data_protection/topic_guides/~/media/documents/library/Data_Protection/Detailed_specialist_guides/ICO_CCTVFINAL_2301.pdf

      1. mikeyt

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        I think the point was that you just mouth off sounding knowledgeable and they will provide the goods that were "deleted" I'm sure the police would have better luck than any of us otherwise.

    2. Neil B
      Megaphone

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      Just to counterpoint, because no-one on the internet seems interested in posting stories about the police doing a good job.

      When my bike was stolen from the front porch, a plod came around immediately to record the details. Then a member of some local crime unit phoned, I don't remember the details exactly but it was a softly-softly "victim of crime" follow-up. A week later I was called again and told they'd found it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        @Neil B

        It is nice to hear a good experience with the police. I called them out a couple of years ago to a pretty violent beating outside my home. Not a single copper turned up. This beating lasted a good 20 mins before continuing down the street.

        My neighbours have similar experiences although the cops have slightly improved over the last couple of years. They raided the pot grower over the road and turned up to a few daylight disturbances and a couple of night time ones. They now drive by occasionally which helps keep the peace and apparently did turn up in response to a stabbing.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

          Sounds like you might want to move to a better area!

          1. jason 7 Silver badge
            Unhappy

            Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

            The area was fine when we moved there. Perfect even.

            However, the local council thought it a great idea to move and approve every bar, strip club and night club to the area since 2001. Ignoring the fact that it was a largely residential area and not designed to cope with a full blown night time economy.

            Strangely though none of the councillors live where we do. They all live the other side of the city.....

            Plus like a lot of people my circumstances have changed over the past few years and moving is a luxury we cannot afford. So we just fight to get the lazy sods that should be working for us to do something.

      2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        @Neil B: My experience has been similar except for the bit where they found your bike.

        When the Police haven't recovered anything, and haven't even investigated, it's exceptionally annoying that there are funds to make sure a "victim support" drone comes round to talk over the psychological effects of having your house broken into.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        Yes but where were you?

        In our small rural town a phone theft is news - and the last one I heard about had the thief caught within hours.

        The Met has always been more about protecting the political and upper classes from the unruly London mob. When you get out to the sticks, the police want to make sure that the high quality of life in their home towns doesn't get disturbed by the underclass. Big difference. I suspect if a Russian oligarch living in London loses a laptop, they'll send at least an armed response unit.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      If the rozzers fail to act then do one (or more) of

      1) Go to Police Complaints Authority -Copy to the local Chief constable.

      2) Go to the Red Top end of the press

      3) Name and shame the police officers who said 'There is nothing we can do' in the local press.

      4) Create a Sandwich board with the names of the officers and walk up and down outside the Police Station. Have a friend on hand with a camera to catch their swift reaction to it. Also have a solicitor on speed dial.

      There are plenty of ways to get the police to act if you are determined enough.

      anon. I don't want them kicking my door down at 04:00 tomorrow morning.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        Give over. You've never done any of that, except in your wettest dreams.

        The rozzers? Are you from a carry on film?

      2. jason 7 Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        Making a formal complaint is easy to do (takes about 5 minutes) and it causes them all sorts of admin nightmares.

        I've had several instances where Police have been totally inept at dealing with violent anti-social behaviour where I live (Police turn up to 5 guys beating the crap out of each other at 3am on my lawn..."lads can you keep the noise down please? We've had a complaint!").

        It means a lot of running around for them (probably more effort than they put in with most investigations) and then I have to sign it off as 'Okay' at the end so I get some grovelling action from them.

        I've told them I'll keep on complaining till they take such matters in our community seriously.

    4. Franklin
      Happy

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      "If they cant be bothered to solve a crime then they won't, not matter how much of your job you do for them."

      To be fair, we don't actually have any direct evidence that this is down to incompetence. There might be other explanations that don't necessarily suggest that the police lack the intelligence or skill to perform their duty. They might be taking kickbacks from local criminal gangs to feign incompetence, for example. We certainly wouldn't want to rush to judgment on their competence!

      1. Osmosis Jones

        Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

        good point. Or it could be that cutbacks to their budget means they are simply not gonna launch a manhunt for a stolen bike....though it would be nice if they did.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

          Rubbish. There haven't been anywhere near the cutbacks certain of them claim - it's just that a fair proportion are incompetent, some are vicious bastards and a few are bent as a coathanger.

          Then there are the very hard working, mostly dedicated chaps and chapesses whose job has been made more dangerous and much more difficult by that former lot.

          The real issue is almost certainly the culture. There is a culture of targets and of "who cares?". The bosses are going for the targets in the easiest way possible, regardless of whether that is anything to do with actually solving crime.

          They'll keep doing that until heads start rolling at the higher levels - remember, this is the organisation that decided the best way to deal with the person in charge of brutally murdering an innocent bystander was by trying to cover it up, then promoting them.

          We won't forget Jean Charles de Menezes.

    5. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      We both agree that the odds of getting the bike back were 0 to none.

      Thus it would be an "unsolved crime" and something to be kept off the books for fear of lowering the Chief Constable's bonus. Hence the bullshitting.

      Welcome to the world of performance targets and the Law of Unintended Consequences. Most people are not stupid and if you incentivise them on specific performance measures, they will find the easiest way of making those particular measures look good. Their solution invariably involves working around the problem rather than addressing it. After all, if whatever it is could be easily improved it wouldn't have been a bloody problem in the first place.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ah the incompetence of the police.

      Send the footage to the BBC, Sky News and Al Jazeera.

      One of them will broadcast it, and then we can start the media storm.

  10. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
    Flame

    ...the police apparently failing to act on the information he provided them with.

    What do you expect the Police to do ? Solve a crime ? Why would they do that when they can earn more money by taking back handers from the rich & famous to ignore crimes ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "earn more money by taking back handers "

      More police have gone to prison as a result of the phone hacking scandal than did as a result of the Operation Countryman investigation into corruption in the Met. Tom Watson has done more to stop police corruption than a whole slew of internal investigations. Andrew Tyrie, meanwhile, has done more to expose dodgy bankers than anybody else, and must be a right thorn in the side of Osborne and his attempts to let his rich mates off the hook.

      Slightly OT but just a reminder that there are at least two backbenchers doing their jobs, and doing them rather well.

  11. Alfred 2
    Coat

    Plumpie and the Police

    Even if he didn't steal it he must be aware that it is dodgy. I have no sympathy for him and hope the police get of their backsides and actually try to catch a criminal. They may find it a rewarding experience.

    the coat for obvious reasons.

  12. Gordon Pryra
    Thumb Up

    Good boy

    The police (being lazy sods) deserve to be shown up in this way. Obviously what this guys is doing is illegal, and they will arrest him and throw the book at him (as its easy), but he is not alone in being totally p***d off with lack of help from the boys in blue.

    My case involves them failing to do anything when a pissed up neighbor attacked my house at 4 in the morning when I had a sick 3 year old up with a fever hot enough to boil an egg. Various complaints later and they promise to write some fictitious report showing what they have learnt. (as if there is anything new to learn about drunk pissed up neighbors after 400 years of policing)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Good boy

      There's plenty of showing up going on in GMP.

      This guy is nuts but he's funny as hell and I have a feeling he's been subject to Stop and Search more than once!

      :-)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbRhnNpeH-M

      Do look through his other videos there are at least three pearlers in here.

  13. ed2020
    Thumb Up

    Excellent!

    Given the evidence it's pretty much inconceivable that the guy who is currently in possession of the laptop isn't also the thief. I think publishing his photo online is absolutely fair enough - I'd probably do the same thing.

    I also hope the thieving little shit gets what's coming to him.

    1. Phil W

      Re: Excellent!

      Oh really? Which evidence is that?

      As far as I can see all we, and the victim, know is that:

      1) He has had his laptop and credit cards stolen

      2) The person tagged 'Plumpy' is now in possession of it.

      3) 'Plumpy' has a subscription to a sexual fetish site that he would/is embarrassed about the world being aware of.

      There does not appear to be any evidence that 'Plumpy' is actually the thieve, purely that he has the device now. Signing up to a sexual fetish web site does not make you a thief.

      1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      2. teebie

        Re: Excellent!

        "Which evidence is that?"

        On the blog he says a subscription to another fetish site plumpy is subscribed to was bought with his card. So either the current holder of the card and the plumpy, who bought the laptop, are 2 separate people who like 'brick butts' (I don't want to know what it means), or plumpy bought both the card and the laptop, or plumpy is the thief.

        It could be a coincidence, but it seems very unlikely.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Excellent!

      Unless he bought it in a pub, of course. Or a dodgy shop. Then it'd be conceivable. But you crack on.

  14. Kevin Johnston Silver badge

    How odd

    after watching all these wonderful 'follow the cops' TV shows where people who have unwittingly bought a stolen car have to watch it being taken away with no chance of getting their money back, why is the same not happening here. With all the geo-location info and images of the person in possession of the Mac it can't be that hard for a local officer to knock on the door. Plus it puts a tick into the 'crime solved' column.

    1. jason 7 Silver badge

      Re: How odd

      I have watched quite a lot of those shows where we see the Police carting off scumbags for breaking (what I feel) are quite serious laws such as assault/TWOC/Theft/Drugs etc..

      But at the end when they do the round up I think I can count on one hand, the times that any of them were actually convicted and sentenced.

      I think a lot of the time they just can't be bothered once the fun of the chase is over.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: How odd

        No, it's the CPS being told to cut the cost of the legal system. Crown Prosecution Service sometimes seems to be a bit of an exaggeration. But Crown Deciding Not to Prosecute Service doesn't make a convenient acronym.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Good for him, if he has this software on it, if he has images etc yet the MET still cant arrest anyone? then go for it! although I would not be shocked if the MET arrest him on some trumped up charge!

  16. Fred M

    Why not go get it?

    If he's got "accurate geolocation data" then why not go get his laptop back?

    1. Andrew Moore
      FAIL

      Re: Why not go get it?

      If you read the website you'd see:

      a: The location is a block of flats.

      b: The insurance company has already paid out on the stolen items so it's their laptop now.

      1. Fred M

        Re: Why not go get it?

        Ah - ok. I didn't read the website because it's tagged NSFW and I'm AW. As someone else pointed out though - he's eBaying stuff so it should be easy enough to catch him.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why not go get it?

        Plus of course we're taxed to death to pay for a Police Force to avoid the need to put ourselves in personal danger by attempting to recover our personal property from a thief.

        Or at least, I think that's how it's supposed to work, but it seems for the Met at least it doesn't.

  17. El Presidente
    Thumb Up

    LOL

    Exposed for 'handling'

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The police *are* indeed useless..

    I must admit I share his frustrations with the police. From the few times I had the need to get them involved I came away with the impression they are not interested in anything if it hasn't got the terrorist label on or results in massive headlines. I handed them a case of theft with collaboration by a bank, complete with all evidence - all they had to do was file it. Not interested.

    I meant I had to go after the thief myself. 2 years later, the thief's tricks with the legal system finally ran out and I had him in court, it took another year to bankrupt him to the point where he cannot simply wait for a year and then apply to have it lifted. But I had to do all of this myself in civil court, despite clear evidence of various criminal offences. Oh, and the bank? What do you think? I don't have the money to prosecute the %&ç because of criminal activity. Yes, they got away, and they're used to that (the sole and single purpose of the banking ombudsman seems to be to delay any legal process until the business involved has actually folded by adding 6 months of staff expenses to a now negative saldo).

    Thus I no longer bank in the UK, and now my company is up again we have a permanent bar on the executives involved and any interaction with that bank - and that internal blacklist is shared with about 20 other high level organisations. Their entry is permanent.

    The police is there to ensure laws are followed. If they no longer act, you don't have law. Or a society.

  19. S4qFBxkFFg
    Pint

    Stealing is bad.

    Nicely done sir!

  20. deadlockvictim
    Happy

    MacBookPro Owners

    I have to say, that I have a whole new level of respect for owners of MacBook Pros. Do ye all install tracking software on your MBPs?

    This is the new Reality TV. Channel 4 should make programmes based on the lives on people who have acquired stolen goods, via the stolen goods themselves.

    1. The BigYin

      Re: MacBookPro Owners

      If it's portable, put a tracker on it. There are many available (e.g. Prey). However, as this software becomes prevalent the first thing any thief will do is nuke-and-pave the storage. Tracking gone. This leaves hardware as the only viable option (unless UEFI can somehow be used to protect an area of their drive and the software runs there - dunno).

      You also have to make it easy for the thief to use the stolen item. So consider having a "Guest" account or something that will auto-login after 30 secs or so. If the thief is thwarted by a strong password, they'll just wipe it.

      And encrypt at least your home partition ("Documents and Settings"; whatever).

      Finally, back-ups. If you lose a portable device, all you should lose is a copy (or the last few hours/days work); you should not lose everything. The number of people who use their laptops as a primary store is depressing.

      1. JohnG Silver badge

        Re: MacBookPro Owners

        "However, as this software becomes prevalent the first thing any thief will do is nuke-and-pave the storage. Tracking gone. This leaves hardware as the only viable option (unless UEFI can somehow be used to protect an area of their drive and the software runs there - dunno)."

        There is this:

        http://www3.absolute.com/lojackforlaptops/technology

        A number of notebook manufacturers include something in the BIOS which means that (once the device is associated with a subscription), even if the operating system is wiped, the notebook will phone home once another OS is installed and the system is connected to the Internet.

    2. Van

      Re: MacBookPro Owners

      Lucky that MacBook owners don't lock their precious laptops up at night!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The police's lack of interest in these kinds of things annoys me.

    You can approach them with a huge amount of evidence, a suspect, motive ... but they just don't respond. I've never really understood why. No wonder people take things into their own hands at times.

  22. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    Oh dear. It's early Friday and already laughing at folk on t'Internet :)

  23. Marlons

    I suppose that as this guy used the stolen credit card to purchase his plump-loving website subscription he can be sure its the guy that nicked the laptop (well, certainly a crim using somebody elses cards).

    Unlike the India story where the guy gifted the laptop in the end.

    Wish I hadn't read this at breakfast time to be honest, could've done without 'wank face' while tucking into my coco pops.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      he can be sure its the guy that nicked the laptop

      Well either that or he can be at least sure he's the sort who knowingly purchases bent gear[1] and happily uses others' credit cards.

      Either way, he's a vile piece of shit who deserves everything he gets.

      [1] He could argue the toss about the laptop, but the cards (or card details) have him bang to rights.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        * BANGED to rights

        See title for demonstration of the past tense, a common feature in most languages.

  24. Callam McMillan

    No sympathy for the current user of the device. Surely the first thing you'd do is format and reinstall - doubly so on a second hand computer.

  25. Lionel Baden

    Risky

    But isnt it a crime to be in receipt of stolen material, so all he is doing is publishing photos of a crime. As a legal standpoint?

    True fault in this lies with the police. They should be following up on private information.

    1. teebie

      Re: Risky

      In publishing pictures of a crime is he risking prejudicing any trial?

      Obviously no, he's just showing them to a few hundred geeks aroudn the world, but maybe there's a principle here.

  26. Stephen 2

    Could be innocent

    Most of these stories seem to go the same way. Computer is stolen, "geek" activates software and grabs webcam pics, screenshots etc. Publishes them. Later finds out the person bought it innocently enough on a site like ebay or craigslist. Ends up in the shit for posting pictures and information of innocent people.

    1. Crisp

      Re: Could be innocent

      You aren't innocent if you're handling stolen goods.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He has nothing

    On Terry the Meerkat from Channel 4's Dogging Tales!

  28. Worm
    Devil

    As it is unlikely that "plumpy" stole the laptop, and it is reasonable to assume that he bought the device in good faith (or at least that's what he will say) this chap is carrying out surveillance and releasing images in a way which is like to defame, harass and libel the individual.

    This nerd should be cautioned, he is breaking the law.

    1. nsld
      Facepalm

      Nope

      If he paid market rates for the item he can claim a good faith argument on receiving stolen goods, but if he bought it for £50 or similar crack head price then the law takes the stance that he must know the item was stolen.

      Additionally if he paid for his plumpy subscription with a stolen card from the laptop owner as well then you can add card fraud to the list.

      Not sure how you defame or libel someone who clearly does like webcamming with sweaty ham beasts by telling the world they do as the truth is an absolute defence to libel.

      Causing harassment, alarm and distress has some legs assuming the scumbag is in the UK and he might get a harassment warning from the plod but only if the "victim" makes a complaint. I can see that working out well when he goes to the local police station to complain that the bloke who owns the stolen laptop is telling the world about his fetishes.

      If the plod do go after the original victim it has all the makings of a front page for the Daily Mail!

      1. teebie

        Re: Nope

        "the truth is an absolute defence to libel."

        You'd think so, huh? But sadly in the UK this isn't currently the case.

        1. Not That Andrew

          Re: Nope

          Dunno why people downvoted this, it's true. Private Eye and other publications have sucessfully been sued for libel several times where the judge has recognised that the statements published were true.

          1. kraut

            Re: Nope

            Also, you can go bankrupt before winning.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nope

          Indeed, there is a legal saying in England, "The greater the truth, the greater the libel".

          The thing is, something may be true but printing it could be construed as defamatory, as in "Politician X has not had sex with a donkey for over a month".

          And it can be true but defamatory to print - for instance, revealing spent convictions. If Stephen Fry hadn't written at length about his youthful mistakes, it might be libellous to write them up in print just as he was about to become the public face of a credit card company, and they withdrew the offer.

  29. dave 158
    FAIL

    Really ?

    I mean, Really ?

    you 'wake up' on Oxford Street, possibly second only to Buck House as one of the most policed areas in London, having had your lappie, cards *AND PIN* stolen ?

    El Reg - I'm thinking of setting up some websites, please can I have some free advertising please ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Really ?

      You know when you buy things online, yeah? Put your pin in much?

      No, me neither.

      1. dave 158

        Re: Really ?

        You know when you read the original site referenced and it says ...

        "On the night of 28.10.11, I had my MacBook Pro, debit card and PIN robbed from me in Central London. "

        then dont go on to say that the PIN was used to access anything, but point out that being mugged in a heavily policed area of your expensive laptop, debit card **AND PIN** is highly highly unlikely, let alone a really stupid couple of items to have all in the same place at the same time ?

        No, you obvious dont

    2. follicle genius
      FAIL

      Re: Really ?

      Erm, since when did you need your PIN to by something online?

      FAIL for failing to understand how credit card work ;-)

      1. dave 158
        FAIL

        Re: Really ?

        I'll give you the bene of maybe being at work - but I never said he'd had his PIN stolen, HE DID

        "On the night of 28.10.11, I had my MacBook Pro, debit card and PIN robbed from me in Central London. "

        so he's walking around with an expensive laptop, debit card and the PIN ? my arse

        FAIL for not reading the OP.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Really ?

        FAIL for not reading the OP and seeing that ATM transactions were the first use of the stolen card.

        or

        FAIL for not realising ATMs require PINs.

        Take your pick...

  30. bitten
    Mushroom

    What's wrong with looking for chubby .... wait .... oh

  31. Pypes

    Taking Bets

    I've got 3:1 on him having brought it from Cex, and will subsequently be suing the living ballsacks out of Mr Irate Blogger

    Any takers?

    1. David Neil

      Re: Taking Bets

      I'll take that bet, given he's used a credit card stolen at the same time to get his wank on

    2. Anonymous Coward 15

      Re: Taking Bets

      Then the blogger should sue Cex for handling stolen goods. Don't those places take ID or a receipt or something?

  32. This post has been deleted by its author

  33. Phil W

    He'll probably/hopefully get sued

    As per title, the 'nerd' video game designer who is posting all this embarrassing material about the man he has named 'Plumpy' will quite probably, and in my opinion hopefully, get sued by 'Plumpy' assuming it turns out he wasn't the person that stole it.

    Just because you know someone has your stuff doesn't give you the right to accuse them of theft, unless you know they took it and more importantly have evidence that they did. It doesn't give you the right to make public, their private information and personal interests or habits that may be embarrassing or compromising.

    Look at the story in the news recently of that mac book which turned up in Iran.

    The whole point of software like Hidden, is to either allow you to pass it on to the police or perhaps to locate and confront the person who has your stuff.

    If the police are useless and you choose to pursue it yourself then the correct approach is to contact the person saying something like

    "Excuse me but my laptop was stolen and I think you have it, I have evidence that shows you've been using it. Can I have it back please? It would be easier than contacting the police."

    Rather than

    "You f***ing t**t you've nicked my stuff you c**t. Give it back or I'm going to keep exposing your dirty secrets you sick f**k"

    1. The BigYin

      Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

      Not that I agree with the vigilantism. But what does one do when the police refuse to act on evidence of a crime, and you have gone as far as to give them the GPS co-ordinates of the culprit? A face-to-face could end badly and contacting them? That just prompts them to wipe the HDD.

      (Taking the blog at face value - the whole thing could be a hoax).

    2. Tom 38 Silver badge

      Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

      Just because you know someone has your stuff doesn't give you the right to accuse them of theft

      It's a pretty good start though. Much better than just accusing anyone.

    3. David Neil

      Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

      And again, the same fella has used a credit card nicked at the same time to sign up to the porn site. I think that's called bang to rights, so get off your moralising high horse

      1. NomNomNom

        Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

        doesn't make sense. surely he would have cancelled his card before he had time to sign up.

      2. Phil W

        Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

        Ah, I haven't read the blog since it's marked NSFW and I'm at work. El Reg does not mention the ownership of the credit used for the porn subscription anywhere.

        I'm still not sure it's an appropriate response but there is it at least evidence.

    4. David Evans

      Re: He'll probably/hopefully get sued

      You obviously didn't read the article. The guy used his credit card, and as he did pass the information on the police, to no avail, so this seems like a pretty clear cut case. If the justice system singularly fails to act, or even bother to communicate with the victim, when said victim has given the cops a giant glowing arrow pointing to his lost property, than the system has failed and good luck to the guy.

      This kind of crap goes on far too often, and while I know the police are often over-stretched, the fact they seem to operate a triage system that automatically dumps all "petty" (in their eyes) crime into the round filing cabinet simply isn't good enough.

      I also think the police actively hate citizen detectives who do their own investigations, especially nerds who are better at using online tools than they are; I've seen that from the police first hand.

  34. DaveH77

    Evidence

    Have you seen this blog post?

    Stolen Laptops, Evidence and Consciences…

    http://tmblr.co/ZPREZyiWpnDy

    (safe for work apart from the odd rude word)

    "I started thinking “What if this guy bought the laptop off someone in the street?”, but what kind of person buys an obviously stolen laptop (with no login details) off a random in the early hours of a Saturday morning?

    And what about the Plumper Pass that was bought on my card just five hours after I was robbed, at 05.59am, surely it’s the same one I saw the guy furiously fapping over on numerous occasions?

    And the Apple, Armani, Victorinox, Burberry and other card transactions almost exactly matching items I was seeing being sold by him, on his various eBay accounts. between November and January…"

    Seems pretty conclusive to me...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. BigG
      Holmes

      Re: Evidence

      And they will STILL fail to prosecute.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tineye?

    Does this work for faces?

    1. The BigYin

      Re: Tineye?

      No. But Facebook does.

    2. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Tineye?

      Not very well (it's a copyright tracing tool)

      Google Image Search on the other hand, works a treat (and unlike facebook it'll continue to match after the images have been removed)

      It's highly likely the tosser in question is well known to police and it's also highly likely they really just can't be arsed.

      It's no wonder people take things into their own hands.

      1. kissingthecarpet
        Devil

        Re: Tineye?

        "It's highly likely the tosser in question is well known to police"

        Maybe, but 'orrible old junkies of my acquaintance who are the sort who do this stuff would have caned the ATM card from all directions then sold said laptop on very quickly, a new Mac would get you a lot of drugs. Sounds a bit opportunist, non pro to me, the sort who isn't well-known like a bloke I knew who only stole cars when he was very pissed - he was never arrested for anything. Straight-looking white blokes rarely are unless red-handed or grassed.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Tineye?

          "...Straight-looking white blokes rarely are unless red-handed or grassed."

          Interesting to hear this is the same way in the UK as the US. Ive never once been arrested, even though Ive handled probably in the neighborhood of $150,000 to $500,000 in drug transactions in my life, whether I was selling, buying or middlemanning. Why? Because I'm a "normal looking" white male. My friend and former business partner who I'll call Bill, first time I had him go on a buy for me because I was too busy, he was DWB (driving while black), so of course the Crackers search him, and he's nailed on a felony.

          He did beat it, but it was certainly enlightening to my 18 year old self.

  36. FordDefect
    Unhappy

    Crime and Punishment

    I feel sorry for the fella for losing his pro, I understand his frustration with his local constabulary. But I don't think its fair to state the police don't care. I think this is more a reflection on our whole judicial system, it quite plausible that even a open and shut case and an exact location of the offender still cost man power and resources that don't justify the outcome. This become more apparent when you detach the emotional aspect of the crime.

    If that fella was brought in, suitable charged and then prosecuted what could his sentence be? would he actually serve that sentence? would the expense of the trial, his possible incarceration and the involvement of all the various agencies be justifiably balanced? Probably not, and its that cold harsh economics of justice that makes this story and others like it have inadequate outcomes.

    I suggest that guy try his local police commissioner, and ideal time to bring something like this up as they be more than likely trying to justify their own existence.

    1. Justicesays
      Unhappy

      Re: Crime and Punishment

      So what level of crime does merit the attention of the police?

      Should we just take all the theft and burglary crimes off the books? They are essentially going unpoliced, as even the low hanging "we know exactly who did it,and where they are" crimes of this nature are being ignored.

      This is simply going to open up the doors to community based punishment actions, acts of the nature described in this article are just the start. Shortly there will be a "Scum in your area" website, which will name and shame people for their crimes (rightly or wrongly). Oh wait, the UK justice system is designed to prevent that from happening by not making truth a valid defence in a libel case.

      I guess the site needs to be run from some offshore location , anonymously.

      Shouldn't be too hard to get advertising revenue from Security, Alarm and personal defence companies.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Crime and Punishment

        "So what level of crime does merit the attention of the police?"

        I would imagine it varies by type, but I can tell you a specific number in the case of e-commerce fraud; 30 grand. If you can point at that much fraud from a single source, your local plod will look in to it. (Interestingly I've found that number seems to be about the same in three different countries I've had cause to find out on a 1/1 Pound/Euro ratio). Anything less, you're on your own.

        1. Titus Technophobe
          Go

          Re: Crime and Punishment

          If that fella was brought in, suitable charged and then prosecuted what could his sentence be? would he actually serve that sentence? would the expense of the trial, his possible incarceration and the involvement of all the various agencies be justifiably balanced? Probably not, and its that cold harsh economics of justice that makes this story and others like it have inadequate outcomes.

          And even if charged a custodial sentence seems to consist of dossing about at HMP expense playing Playstations.

          Whilst not a great fan of outsourcing I think custodial sentences is an area where other countries could do the work a lot cheaper than the UK. Possibly an even better idea might be to make the chavtastic scum class pay their debts back to society.

          People like this could be indentured out to countries that require this sort of Human Resource. There are plenty of Middle Eastern countries that have these sorts of employment arrangements. The term of the indenture would then cease once HMP had received enough money to cover compensation, trial, administration and travel expenses.

          1. Justicesays

            Re: Crime and Punishment

            The US use their prisoners to in-source cheap labour , so they can compete with the other countries on an equivalent wage.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Crime and Punishment

            Outsource the prisoners to Greece, their prisons are probably worse than ours and Greece will be glad of the money.

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Luke McCarthy

      Re: Crime and Punishment

      I think in many cases people would just be happy to have their property returned with maybe some compensation from the perpetrator. Prison is an obsolete system that doesn't work and costs far too much, and should be phased out for the majority of crimes. It should be reserved only for people who are a constant physical threat to life.

  37. Vimes

    If stuff was bought with the stolen credit card then presumably they have his address within the block of flats when he provided a delivery address.

    Personally there is one other thing I would consider doing: try to get a hold of this address and then sign him up for as many samples as possible. Drown the bastard in unwanted mail and as much embarassing crap as possible being delivered to his door and in plain view of his neighbours.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oops Jasper

    He is not happy. Read his blog update. Naughty

  39. grammarpolice
    Trollface

    Backdoor job

    If he had installed a decent backdoor instead of Hidden, the tea leaf might be posting some items for sale on his eBay. Like for instance ricin, or plastic explosive. Or perhaps the tea leaf could open a Twitter account and start seriously insulting public officials. That might get a little more attention from the filth than all this whining.

    1. BeerTokens
      Joke

      Re: Backdoor job

      @uselesspigs if you don't get your shit together and arrest this thief i'm gunna blow your station up!

      That might get them round it works for airports!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Backdoor job

      Good point, if he started promoting a riot, then the plod would be round in a flash!

      Note: Do not riot. Remain good tax paying citizens.

      The 30 grand figure quoted above sounds about right for anything to be done other than a report for the insurance.

  40. Irongut Silver badge

    Moron

    Hacking

    Invasion of Privacy

    Copyright Infringement

    Threatening Public Officials

    That's a nice series of offenses this guy is building up. All because "he woke up on Oxford Street... to find his Macbook Pro had gone, along with his credit cards". So he got so wasted he passed out in the street while carrying an expensive laptop? How does he know he didn't give it away while he was out of his face?

    1. pepper

      Re: Moron

      He didnt hack anything since its still his own property he is accessing.

      Invasion of Privacy: You might be right there.

      Copyright Infringement: I dont think so, he is the author of the images and thus he owns the copyright.

      Threatening of Public Officials: I dont think he did, he only warned them of his own action, in no way did he wish/promise harm on said officials. Unless you mean exposing their inaction. Which really, if you are a public official then you can expect your actions to be scrutinized by the public.

      Anyway yeah. Something might be dodgy, but still he has a stronger case against the suspect then the suspect against him. I dont know how the law regards taking photo's with your own equipment that has a recording indicator(laptops have one of those active lights) in the house of someone else. Take note that the suspect has taken the equipment in himself and was aware of the possibility of recording(taped over webcam at first). I wonder if the removal of tape indicate consent?

      Not a lawyer so its all a wild geus, I'll as a mate of mine that is.

    2. The BigYin
      FAIL

      Re: Moron

      Reads more like he was mugged.

    3. Worm

      Re: Moron

      Amazing isn't it, downvoted for telling them how it is. I guess the average Register reader doesn't understand how the law works.

    4. Dave Bennett

      Re: Moron

      Obvious troll is obvious.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Has he dropped the accused's dox on 4chan?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Are you kidding?

      Knowing that lot, the only responses he'd get is "Not your personal army faggot", "Hack his porn passwords and poast them pl0x", and "Chubby thread? Chubby thread."

      I'm sorry to say that the /b/ that used to famously ruin the lives of cat mutilators and egotistical schoolgirls alike, block children's games with swastikas, and became the infamous Internet Hate Machine, has long since passed into the pages of history. All that remains now is a bunch of foul-mouthed schoolkids posting pictures of their dicks and thinking they're edgy for hanging out on a notorious site. The "cancer" killed /b/ a long time ago.

  42. Justice
    Joke

    Well, that's enough information from the blog...

    I'm for jumping in a car with a couple of mates, nipping down the the GeoLocation and confronting Plumpy with some intimidating behavior and greater numbers, before recovering myself a shiny new MacBook for immediate wiping and resale on eBay.

    DRINKS ARE ON ME LADS!!!

  43. Imsimil Berati-Lahn
    Paris Hilton

    Isn't it obvious what's going on?

    Plumpy is a Mason.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Isn't it obvious what's going on?

      You're waaaay behind the times.

      He's a scientologist

      Anon, because bad clams....

  44. Daniel B.
    Boffin

    Geeze, lots of evidence

    .... you'd assume that the fact that Plumpy used a *STOLEN* Credit Card to buy stuff would be enough evidence for the Met to get him, stolen laptop would be an extra charge against him.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Geeze, lots of evidence

      does seem like lots of evidence. Also low level toes rags like this have likely got their dirty little hands in other pies as well. I bet this isn't the only criminal thing he has done or will do, you'd have thought the police would show a bit more interest as most of their work has actually been done for them FFS!

  45. csumpi
    Big Brother

    Mr Nerd, you need help.

    What you are doing is kinda.... creepy. Not normal, for sure. In fact probably even illegal. You need help.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Mr Nerd, you need help.

      Help to get his laptop back

      1. Justicesays
        Trollface

        Re: Mr Nerd, you need help.

        If only there were some kind of publicly funded organization that someone could go to when they have their stuff stolen , in order to get help, perhaps in detaining the perpetrator and recovering the stolen goods in question...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mr Nerd, you need help. -If only there were some kind of publicly funded organization

          Robert Peel for Prime Minister!

  46. Magnus_Pym

    I suggest a fund...

    .. for getting some of his better images made up as billboards in an around his local. hmmm, maybe some beermats too.

    1. Anonymous C0ward

      Re: I suggest a fund...

      And as posters to be plastered round the block of flats, delivered to neighbours etc.

  47. Dropper

    I've tried this too

    I've tried having my laptop and a pre-paid credit card taped to the bottom stolen by two 10/10 bisexual twins who hopefully sign up for "LiveChatWithGirlsCoveredInWhippedCream.Com", but after 10 tries it's always some fat bloke that ends up stealing them...

  48. Rick Giles
    Pirate

    Wouldn't of happened

    If he'd been carrying, if you know what I mean.

    1. Anonymous C0ward

      Re: Wouldn't of happened

      The perp would fall to the ground and the laptop would get smashed.

  49. anentropic

    Hidden

    I can't help wondering how useful is the Hidden app if he had to wait for the crook to "accidentally release the lock controls" as described in the article?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      Re: Hidden

      The "accidentally release the lock controls" was a clumsy and misleading way of referring to the fact that El Nerd also had <a href="http://www.obdev.at/products/littlesnitch/index.html">LittleSnitch</a> installled and had overlooked configuring LittleSnitch to allow Hidden to "phone home" via the Guest user account [which was obviously the one the thief would be using to access the comp]

      So the releasing lock controls refers to the thief OK-ing LittleSnitch's request that Hidden be allowed to make outgoing network connections. Nothing to do with Hidden itself. They are two separate pieces of software.

  50. jason 7 Silver badge

    It's a good job the owner....

    ....didn't go round in person to photograph the slimeball's home and used Google Maps instead.

    We all know the police love going after folks with a camera. Public enemy no.1.

  51. MJI Silver badge

    lack of interest

    My wife had her bank account broken in to, made up first name not her real one, managed to clean it out with traceable details.

    She got her money back VERY QUICKLY but complete lack of interest from Police.

  52. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    FAIL

    Taking a slightly different view..

    I dont blame the police for doing nowt.

    They just collect the evidence and pass it along to the criminal protection squad, and they the ones who say "lack of evidence"

    Then theres the huge mountain of paperwork PC Plod has to fill out when he nicks someone

    Then if they are really lucky it gets to court where said slimeball goes " I did'nt know it was nicked , I bought it for 50 quid of a guy in a pub"

    And finally , he's been convicted of handling stolen goods and the judge goes "I'm going to be really strict with you and fine you £10 and give you 25hrs community service which you may or may not do depending how you feel in the morning" , is it any wonder PC Plod says "Cant be bothered m8"?

    PS Judge appointments, the CPS, and sentencing guidelines all come from the home office where a government minister is in charge.....

  53. Van

    install hidden or lock it away at night?

    “He fucked with the wrong nerd .."

    Was spending £15 on the 'hidden' app in case your house got broken into , more clever than actually locking the precious laptop in a cupboard at night ....in case your house got broken into?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: install hidden or lock it away at night?

      Was spending £15 on the 'hidden' app in case your house got broken into , more clever than actually locking the precious laptop in a cupboard at night ....in case your house got broken into?

      Do you do that? Seriously? If not, why are you telling someone else to do it?

      I do have one in a Mark IV dial lock equipped cabinet, but that's because the value of its data is many times the value of the Macbook involved, but you cannot seriously expect people to lock away their kit away at night.

  54. the_snowgoose

    Wait...didn't we read this before?!

    Is this not the same fellow whom you wrote about last week? The one that gave his laptop to the purported theif as an apology? If not, why didn't you differentiate these two? Looking forward to your reply.

    1. Drewc (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Wait...didn't we read this before?!

      Different guys, different reactions.

      1. Uffish

        Re: Different guys, different reactions.

        Both original owners did the same thing - published details of the new users on blogs.

        In the first case (Iran) it would be difficult to prove the new user knowingly used stolen goods (until alerted by the blog), in the second case (Plumpy) it seems easier to prove guilt. However, in both cases the laptops ended up being owned by an insurance company, after that point the continued publishing of screenshots and web camera images is inadvisable.

        Moral of these two stories - insure your laptop really well and don't spend money on tracing software.

  55. This post has been deleted by its author

  56. SD24576

    Do you have one of these newfangled police crime commissioners in your area? Sounds like just the sort of thing they'd leap on to show they're 'making an impact'.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    It's No Longer "His" Laptop

    Surely he's in dubious legal territory doing this. I give him ten out of ten for doing it, but the stolen laptop belongs to the insurance company once they've settled the claim. Which, according to him, they have.

    So after that it's no longer "his laptop" and even if the police recover the laptop it will not be returned to him. Who'd want it back anyway?

    I know this will get down voted but this guy needs to grow up and accept that being a victim of theft very often these days means the stuff they stole is gone forever. Yes I do know what it feels like. The property stolen when we were burgled has never been recovered.

    For a short while we wished for all manner of hideous things happening to those responsible. Like this guy we claimed on our insurance and got replacements. Then we remembered we had lives to lead and all we'd lost was some things that got replaced. The best way forward was to put a rotten experience behind us and get on with it!

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you're robbed, remember this:

    A mate of mine who's a copper comforted me after a burglary as follows: you've won. You've got a house, and stuff worth stealing. You will face some inconvenience and annoyance, but overall, your life will continue and your stuff will be replaced. In time, you'll get over it. Meanwhile, the scum who robbed you live a life of shit. Their relationships are bad, their clothes are bad, their housing is bad, their health is bad, and if they even have a job, it's usually shit. Their lives are a stressful struggle every day and they have nothing at all to look forward to except a likely early death brought on by their shit lifestyle choices. Rejoice in the fact that anyone who burgles you is doing so because their life is unimaginably shittier than yours is, and always will be, until they die young and unhappy.

    Fair cheered me up, he did.

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cops are lazy and target the wrong people

    They spend there days targeting the normal, tax-paying citizen instead of arresting real criminals - those stealing billions from the countries economy, theives who break into your house or steal your car, corporate tax evaders, illegal migrants working in the black economy, benefit cheats, illegal trespassers - you know, the types of crimes which actually require some REAL work and actual policiing.

    But no.

    Instead they spend their time pointing speed camera at motorists, or nicking people for self-inflicted actions (taking recreational drugs, smoking in the wrong place, not wearing a seatbelt....). These are easy marks - people who have income, and pay taxes, and have a residence - the people the police are supposed to be protecting.

    But we are are an easy to target cos they know we are honest, and pay our way in society and won't kick up a fuss.

    Perhaps people would have more respect for the if they nicked some real crimials for a change.

  60. Will 20

    How do you prove that the Hidden application is installed on your computer, and that you didn't crack your way into someone elses machine, install it, and then claim that your computer was stolen?

    On a side note - anything of value easily removable - record the serial numbers!

  61. david 63

    Want the police to arrive...

    ...phone from the same street and tell them you've recovered the your goods and the perp needs an ambulance.

    The victim of a crime should never, never be placed in the wrong.

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Police Triage

    Police triage definately happens in my largely rural county. When it's 'interesting' in the county town (Christmas, New Year, Saturday night, etc.) most bobbies are deployed there as their presence on the streets reduces crime. At least three times that I know of this has meant there are only 2 cars (each with an officer and PCSO) to cover the whole of the rural area. If one of these cars stopped a minor offence at the start of their shift, they would have to drive up to 30 miles to the county town to incarcerate the perp and then spend a large percentage of the rest of thier shift filling in the paperwork.

    PCC's need to get more bobbies on the beat!

  63. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what, no kickstarter?

    How come this guy hasn't created a kickstarter to name and shame the thief? This would be one that a lot of people would get behind. Not to pay for the laptop, mind you, but to pay for poster designs and billboard space all around the thief's location. Wouldn't that be a shock for that guy to leave the house and see his "O-face" plastered on every corner. Maybe even at the bus stop for added hilarity.

  64. let go of attachment

    Hidden Stupidity

    Why are these laptop owners who are smart enough to use a program like Hidden so utterly stupid as to think the thief is going to be the one who uses the laptop from then on? The likelihood of that is minimal. So they go to all the time and trouble of humiliating the new owner, who may be a seedy character in their private life but is just as much an unwitting victim of the original crime as they are. How stupid is that? The only one laughing at both of them is the thief, who would have sold the laptop on straight away.

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