... time machine. Iranian Dr Who claims he invented a ... Not content with letting North Korea get all the “we're sooooo bad” headlines this week, fellow rogue nation Iran has let it be known one of its resident boffins has invented a time machine. And then deleted the story in state-run media that brought the world news of the gadget. The “time machine” in question wasn't of the “ …
As the great Frank Herbert pointed out, the ability to see the future collapses the future to the observed state, so it seems that Iran finally has their Kwisatz Haderach.
Next up, Muad'Dib's Jihad establishes the One True Faith over the entire world, locking in the future he and his Iranian compatriots have forseen, until his son Leto II arrives to free us all with his Golden Path.
And even far Gangishree isnt far enough... anyone want to join the Scattering with me?
They must think the recent test of downing drones with a laser was science fiction so they had to make up their own cool story. Anyone in the war market knows that laser and its follow-on products are going to change warfare forever. It took to the count of 3 for the surface of the drone to get hot enough to start burning even with air rushing across the surface. I don't know how you say Holy Shit in Persian, but every Iranian general uttered it when they saw those videos. Beams of light instead of bullets to the mid evil mind is the far-fetched equivalent of a time machine. So, I guess we're even now. Ohp, except one is real and I'll leave it up to the readers to decide which one.
Not a problem. Lots of things are reflective in the IR range. Just because you want to reflect IR, doesn't mean you need to be non-reflective to other wavelengths. There's a device called a hot mirror in every digital camera that reflects IR light. Also, astronomers have been using mirrors to reflect all kinds of wavelengths for ages. So, reflecting IR isn't a problem.
What may be a problem for the Laser weapons people is the retroreflector. I'd love to see a weapons grade laser fired at a retroreflector.
I have a time machine that works as well as this Iranian device, it is much smaller, spherical and made of quartz.
I will admit this device is a little expensive to run as the touch interface is powered by silver and for some reason only I am able to see the results.
Perhaps El Reg could set up a psychic projects bureau and have a regular column of future predictions from this device, it has to be worth it if only to generate click bait articles on future Apple products.
(Terminator for the time travel reference)
"Dazed and Confused" is correct. The Iranians are Persians, not Arabs (although some Arabs do, of course, live there), and they speak Persian (Farsi), not Arabic.
Ever call a Kiwi an Aussie? Well, multiply that reaction by about 10 megatons. For example, the Iranian Government refuses overfly rights to airlines who refer to "The Persian Gulf" as "The Arabian Gulf" in their on-board systems.
However, 'Wired' refers to Iran claiming to set up it's own *Islamist* version of Google Earth, which sounds more accurate.
"fellow rogue nation Iran"
Iran is declared "rogue" in "the West"'s"Press Declarations Meant For Useful Idiots because the far-right government of Israel thinks it needs to perpetually play the nation scheduled for holocaustation and buys political influence via brown envelopes from the military superpower one continent away. There are also quite a few oil-related interests as in "who will be the next regional power", Saudi Arabia, Iran or US?
Otherwise it would be about as "rogue" as Pakistan. Quite a lot less actually.
Why is it that I suspect that some of Iran's bad press amongst the masses across the Atlantic is due simply to it being only 1 letter away from Iraq?
They'd reduce the US public's support of an Israeli attack on them overnight if they changed their name to Saudi Irania.
"Why is it that I suspect that some of Iran's bad press amongst the masses across the Atlantic is due simply to it being only 1 letter away from Iraq?"
Not The Nine O'Clock News, Rowan Atkinson shows the Iran/Iraq map, swapping the two countries arms and finally the last letter of each name!
From the first Iraq invasion, when Iraq released footage of a beaming Sadam patting the heads of western hostages he was using as human shields, I am continually amazed at how infantile these dictatorships' efforts at propaganda look from a western point of view. The Photoshops and laughable rhetoric coming out of Korea in the last few months have done nothing to change my mind.
The kind of machine they're talking about would require an up time of the required 5-8 years and be able to encode sequences of subatomic particles where the sequences at most go back in time at a fraction of a second in any one instance (and keep doing this while maintaining the integrity of the data it is trying to send back to its earlier self). The protocols for achieving this without causing collisions with data being sent back from the machine's future self are going to be interesting.
I'm sure a lot of secret research has been done into creating such an oracle but I'm deeply sceptical about it ever being achieved (a one shot, early warning system in the event of a sudden, looming catastrophe, perhaps)?
Maybe its just a redesigned electronic magic 8 ball for Kim to make decisions with
Will NK Launch a nuke against the US or Japan?
● It is certain
● It is decidedly so
● Without a doubt
● Yes – definitely
● You may rely on it
● As I see it, yes
● Most likely
● Outlook good
● Yes
● Signs point to yes
● Reply hazy, try again
● Ask again later
● Better not tell you now
● Cannot predict now
● Concentrate and ask again
● Don't count on it
● My reply is no
● My sources say no
● Outlook not so good
● Very doubtful
We saw a palm-reading machine in an amusement arcade in the 1970s. I think my Dad and I had a go on it. We each got a small neatly pre-printed card with our fortune told on it, as well as the card numbers 28 and 29 - or something like that - they hadn't shuffled the deck, they apparently just came out in number order.
So, the West does already have this technology.
Fortune-telling is considered naughty in Christianity and in bible Judaism because I suppose you're supposed to get the future told to you by God's authorised prophet. Islam in the present time is a non-prophet religion and iN some Islamic thought God has already decided what the future will be, but I don't know if it is considered to be legitimately available. For that matter, weather forecasting comes to mind. Jesus said something about that and he seemed to think it was O.K. but doesn't tell you when the Second Coming is.
This post has been deleted by its author
...Iran spent just $US400,000 or $500,000...the USA, the story says has spent 50 years...[and]...about $10bn ...
I feel compelled to mock the cost overruns on both the Iranian and US projects. I have a proven and competitive product that will get the job done at least as well. Get 'em while they're hot!
Surely if you cracked time travel you've not got a time limit, if you hadn't it is however a reasonable amount of time to make reasonable guesses about the future that sound plausible.
This subject always makes me think of this cartoon:
http://www.xkcd.com/716
Explains the blinding headaches and unexplained bumps on the head I keep getting!
Sounds like he did a Ben Affleck - built a time machine, then looked into the future, found that the future is a disaster as a result of the time machine itself, so then gave himself the tools to destroy the time machine, thereby saving humanity, but also giving himself a winning lottery ticket in the process.
that's the only logical explaination for why the news of the discovery so suddenly vanished, isn't it?
Wel, a very bad one, it is predicting for more then two decades that Iran will have a nucleair bomb in the next 6 or 9 months or two year, it depends on who knows what, but the predictions keep coming, and the media keeps believing it. Ha Ha Ha Ha indeed.
If it works (why am I saying if ?) then they can quite easily speculate on the financial markets and within a short period buy the entire world
Also if they can only see 5 years into the future then they could view a output of time machine which is placed 5 years in the future thereby having a 10 year view (repeat process ad nauseum)
Alternatively they could look into the future and see how to build a better time machine.
Personally I am glad that I have typed less shite here than the Iranians managed with the original story
I will go to the future and see what they do then I will blow themmmmmmm!!!
ahaha, they need to move the iranian terrorizers to south korea and move the south koreans somewhere else then let the north koreans and iranians fight it out for dominance of the worlds dumbest states!!
Nukeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Talk about propaganda.
Anyone reading that page can clearly see it's talking about a system which does stats analysis, and which according to the 'inventor' has shown itself to be 98% accurate in the predictions it makes.
I wonder if a British company used the term "time machine" to describe something that had actually nothing to do with travelling through time, whether this would have been reported in this way? Or maybe an American company... maybe I should go and look up how you all took the news that Apple were calling their backup solution "time machine"?
This article appears to have no other purpose than to allow people to take the piss out of Iran, which would be fair enough, but by making up the thing you're taking the piss of them about, all you're really doing is taking the piss out of your site and members.
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