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back to article Why I'm hiring the BRAINS and BALLS of CONSERVATIVE 2.0

"Our educational policy must enable everyone who receives an education to develop morally, intellectually and physically and become a worker with both socialist consciousness and culture." - Mao Tse Tung, On the Correct Handling of Contradictions Among the People (1959) There will soon be a new face at Bong Ventures. The UK …

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  1. Ru
    Pint

    Bong never ceases to be perfectly perceptive and utterly despair inducing.

    Time to give up hope and hit the pub, I think.

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  2. TheOtherHobbes

    Meanwhile...

    See also even closer to home.

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    1. bag o' spanners
      Reply Icon

      Re: Meanwhile...

      I've seen this close up. Directors swallow it, regurgitate it piecemeal to terrified managers and ops types, and wonder how it could possibly have failed, a mere two years down the line. You only have to look at a random tech-ish jd these days to see that the legions of HR zombies are living in a neological dream state, cocooned in glittering gibberish, which renders any semblance of an objective invisible. I'm amazed that they can find the language to hire kitchen staff from their lofty platform in the clouds. "Bacon frazzling architect required. Must have a 2.1 in toast management"

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      1. ian 22
        Reply Icon
        FAIL

        Re: Meanwhile...

        "Goal"?

        There's yer problem right there. It's not about the bleeding goal, it's about the process. Have a bit o sativa and it'll all come clear.

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  3. VeganVegan
    Flame

    Bong!

    Is it really wise to add one more Sativa to the Bong, when it is already stuffed full with the other sativa (Cannabis)?

    And, what happened to your Thai stick, มาลัย?

    (light it up)

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  4. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
    Pirate

    Typical government wonkery expecting ideas to drop in their laps for a fistful of dodgy notes.

    [Legal Note: Bong Ventures asserts ownership on all algorithms and trademarks used by startups in which its invests - back off]

    Fcuk you, matey, that is parasitic old school and you be a fraud and a phishing shill chancing your arm?

    Tell me you were being sarcastic and making a joke and you can forget all of the abovementioned was ever said.

    It would be nice to be wrong, Steve Bong. Go on, make my day, there's a good chap.

    Btw ..... is anyone making Virtual Reality Applications for Bong Ventures so the Future is completely different from the Present which has always seemed to be plagued and hindered by the Past and those living in it and in charge of the simple paper money supply, which presently appears to have been provided to entirely the wrong crowd for they are too petrified to do anything novel and constructive with it. What a load of plonkers, eh! And what a really stupid idiotic base mistake for governments to make. Are the reefers and Class A creating a problem in Downing Street, or is that what is lacking and delivering all of the failed initiatives?

    The country deserves to know, don't you think.

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    1. deive
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: Typical government wonkery expecting ideas to drop in their laps for a fistful of dodgy notes.

      err... did amanfrommars actually just make sense? And also get sarcasm!

      Scary days!

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  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Happy Friday!

    A big ol' Bong hit is my favourite way to get the weekend off to a flying start! Cheers!

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Bong is a visionary. If the vision in question is one of a turd in a toilet bowl.

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  7. John Styles

    Gamification? Meh

    We at Pengwyn Towers are working on the next stage beyond gamification of the workspace - pornifiction of the workplace.

    Here's the API we will be using https://github.com/qdot/librealtouch/blob/master/python/realtouch.py (NSFW by implication) - the fact that it is in Python is somehow appropriate.

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    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Gamification ..... but with Advanced IntelAIgent Enhancements/CodeXSSXXXX Prostheses

      We at Pengwyn Towers are working on the next stage beyond gamification of the workspace - pornifiction of the workplace.

      Here's the API we will be using https://github.com/qdot/librealtouch/blob/master/python/realtouch.py (NSFW by implication) - the fact that it is in Python is somehow appropriate. ... John Styles Saturday 6th April 2013 11:24 GMT

      That would need to be real hard core, John Styles, to be of novel interest to persons of interest with such interests in what are highly charged and explosive fields of climactic endeavour ......... http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2013/04/06/silent_circle_private_email_expansion/#c_1784374

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