back to article Curiosity's MYSTERY MARS find: NASA reveals THE TRUTH

NASA will show the world today just what its Curiosity rover discovered in its study of the first Martian rock powder sample. First Curiosity drilling sample in the scoop SCOOP! Yes, Curiosity scooped up this soil from Martian surface The space agency will hold a press conference at 1700 GMT (1000 PDT, 1300 EDT) to reveal …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Dropper

    Spoiler Alert

    My guess.. the powdered remains of whatever alien the rover found and then blasted with its nuclear powered laser. Rumours that the rover's speech synthesis setup has been programmed to scream "exterminate! exterminate!" in the event of first contact may or may not be false.

  2. SirDigalot

    We Found Life!

    Then we cooked it...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We Found Life!

      coming to a Lasagne near you soon.

      1. petur

        Re: We Found Life!

        Nah, there are no horses on Mars

        1. Tom_

          Re: We Found Life!

          Only because they were used to fill in all the canals.

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Re: We Found Life!

      Mmmm.... tasty!

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Norman Hartnell

    Detailed analysis revealed the sample to contain up to 17% equine contaminants.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I'm pretty sure they will conclude they found an authentic Martian sex stone... in other words, just another fucking rock!

  5. Joe K

    Nice headline

    And The Reg's spiral into becoming the new "Weekly World News" type of comedy tabloid continues.

    1. Oninoshiko

      Re: Nice headline

      I've really been wanting updated on the status of bat boy....

    2. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: Nice headline

      Pity, they'd do far, far better as "The Onion", with an IT twist.

      Oops, they were, they're experiencing scope creep, in the typical, horrific fashion.

  6. spaceyjase

    Rumour is NASA have given it a code-name of 'Soylent Green'.

  7. Anonymous Coward

    No doubt if it is tasty it'll soon be available in a shape suitable for portability and pocket storage, a rectangular bar maybe. Probably wrapped in a plastic film to preserve it with a suitable logo on it. I've no idea what they'd call it though ...

    1. TheRealRoland

      Re: not sure what they will call it?


      Found one in a box, not properly sealed. First thought it was a St. Patrick's Day special, but upon closer inspection....

  8. Matt Bryant Silver badge


    This is what several billion years old green cheese looks like!

  9. taxman

    NASA TV?

    Sheesh. Audio drops out once the viewing figure gets to 1030. They may fly but.....

  10. Peter Stone

    The truth that NASA will reveal is......that a Mars a day helps you work,rest & play! Simples :)

    1. Steven Roper

      And how much did they pay you to post that little advert?

      1. Peter Stone

        Pay? Pay? Oh I wish I had that much influance :)

  11. NomNomNom

    must link this to something topical!

    Maybe they'll discover that shortly after its formation, while the planet was still young, it was touched by jimmy savile.

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Given the age of the planet it's more likely going to be Bruce Forsyth or Cliff Richard.

      Oh, you meant inappropriately touched, sorry.

      1. Steven Roper

        How do you inappropriately touch a planet? Shove a finger into its south pole?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's going to have........minerals. but not just ANY minerals, these minerals COULD show that there is a POSSIBILITY of past WATER on Mars!. AND, trace elements found in organic life!

    Summary, there could have been water on mars, and organic compounds could have been life at one time, but we still don't know.....

    Move along......

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Ah, but now we know it must have been MINERAL water..

      I'll be here all week, thanks.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    NASA has found.....

    That when you place the ground-up sample in a fishbowl you get sea monkeys!!

    I for one welcome our aquatic arthropod Martian overlords!

    1. frank ly

      Re: NASA has found.....

      ..... and they could have evolved into Aquaman!

    2. Mips

      Re: NASA has found.....

      Of course the clue is in the name "fine-grained, veiny sedimentary rock". Sedimentary: laid down in a liquid aka water. But alternatively I suppose the liquid could be hydrocarbon etc. Now that would be interesting.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Re: NASA has found.....

        Some sediments are actually deposited by wind. Plenty of that on Mars. Hydrocarbons would be interesting. Await yells of "There's oil in them there hills!!!", followed by a rush to get to the oil first

        (and once found, wondering how on earth (Mars) they can ship it back to the nearest refinery)

  14. jake Silver badge

    I watched the press conference.

    It's clay with rounded sand grains. Proof of water existing at that location in the past. The rest was speculation.

    1. Wzrd1 Silver badge

      Re: I watched the press conference.

      Not really, there was, strangely enough, beer residue.

      Was Mars killed off by a massive keger? ;)

  15. Andus McCoatover

    No, definitely Cannabis Resin a mate down the pub (Honest, Ossifer!) tried to tell me. "You won't get sh*it like this anywhere on the planet, mate!"

  16. Ryan Kendall

    Thants some expensive chalk

    Don't they sell the pool/snooker chalk closer to home?

  17. Anonymous Coward

    Greenish powder = copper

    Greenish powder

    Looks like what was round the copper pipes into the radiator in the bathroom.

    Maybe they've found a martian heating system.

  18. Martin Budden Silver badge

    This is not news.

    This entire article is pointless. Wait for the announcement and give the result, that is news. Telling us that it's not here yet is not news.

  19. This post has been deleted by its author

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    What was it?

    What was the announcement?

    None of the news agencies seemed to report it.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like