but, but, but Vulcan actually orbits one of the stars in the Centaurus constellation that we cannot yet detect due to our primitive detectors and the Vulcan's advanced stellar technology. When they do announce themselves it'll just cause confusion
Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO
Trekkies have seized a poll in which the public voted on names for two of Pluto's moons - ensuring a winning moniker is Vulcan. With William Shatner on the case, it was perhaps a foregone conclusion that Vulcan would be the clear winner in the contest, with 174,062 votes. Runner-up mythical hound Cerberus (aka Fluffy in Harry …
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 13:35 GMT Anonymous Coward
> the IAU has promised to take the public's opinion into consideration
And that's just how my bosses always welcome my loonier ideas too :-)
When they roll their eyes and sort of moan then I figure it must be a kind of intellectual orgasm. After all if a petit mort is so good then a grand mort must be better?
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 15:32 GMT Peladon
Re: Vulcan
I had a quick word with Charlie, and this is what he told me:
"Vulcan? That's the bloody Romans, that is. Thievin' b*st*rds, they are. Stole Heffy lock, stock and burnin' forge. Even shifted him from Lemnos to bloody Etna. Etna! You should have heard him. Went on about it for bloody centuries, he did. Said you couldn't get decent multi-phasic pseudo particle reflux there to save your bloody life. No wonder he moved to Mount Ranier. And that whole chair thing? Well, it was all a misunderstanding. Hera was stompin' all over the shop, yellin' for someone to rope Heffy in to make her a new throne. Heffy just got a bit confused, was all."
Of course, you have to forgive Charlie. He's still trying to get over the time Leonardo Da Vinci tried to redesign his boat...
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Wednesday 27th February 2013 00:38 GMT Peladon
Re: Vulcan
Sorry. Not boat. Ferry. Or as Charlie put it -
"It wasn't a bloody boat, you daft bugger. It was a bloody _ferry_! What do they teach kids these days? When I was a... well, whatever I was when I wasn't as old as I am now, well. And don't ask me about the idiot in the lion skin. Just.. just don't!"
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 15:32 GMT Annihilator
"One might ask why work colleague Charon and guard snake Hydra would be closer to Pluto than his nephew?"
Easy. I sadly see my work colleagues every day, and my guard snake just as frequently, coiled at my feet ready to strike at any of said work colleagues should the need arise..
My nephew, generally see him at family gatherings is the extent of it.
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 19:23 GMT John Gamble
Re: Someone doesn't know their history of astronomy
Beat me to it. Yes, this is another reason why Vulcan isn't a good choice. The book listed in the Wikipedia article, In Search of Planet Vulcan, by Richard Baum and William Sheehan, is very good, particularly in describing the expeditions to observe Vulcan's supposed transits.
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 23:57 GMT Steven Roper
Re: Mass Effect
I read Greek mythology in my childhood, and so to me Cerberus (Kerberos) is, and will always be, the giant three-headed dog that guards the gates of the Underworld and prevents the spirits of the dead from leaving (i.e. he's there to keep the dead in, not the living out). Notably captured and brought back to Tyrins by Heracles as the last of the twelve tasks assigned to him by the cowardly prince Eurystheus. The monster dog so terrified Eurystheus that he hid, gibbering, in a brass pot for three days, until Heracles returned the creature to Hades.
Cerberus was also put to sleep by the singing of Orpheus, who was given permission by Persephone, daughter of Demeter and wife of Hades, to lead his dead lover Eurydice out of the Underworld - as long as he didn't look back to see if she was following. He did, and thus lost her forever. (A happier alternative ending has it that Orpheus died soon after of a broken heart, and he and Eurydice were then re-united in eternal bliss in the Elysian Fields.)
Anything else is just a rip off. It's as abrasive (to me) as someone hearing a Beethoven sonata and going, "Oh, that's the tune from the [insert brand name here] commercial!" Gaaack!
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Tuesday 26th February 2013 17:55 GMT Stevie
Intollerable!
This really is too much!
Everyone should know by now that the technologically advanced world of Vulcan broke up as the result of a war in which weapons of planetary destruction were deployed in the primordial past, and that the planetary remnants formed what is now known as the Asteroid Belt.
This is basic history, confirmed by perilous expeditions made possible by Mr Edison and his wondrous Aether Propeller.
What are they teaching in the schools these days?
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Wednesday 27th February 2013 08:23 GMT Allan George Dyer
How old was Hagrid?
Hagrid claimed to have raised Fluffy from a pup, so Fluffy can't be an alias of Cerberus. Probably a relative.
I should get out more.
I like the idea of naming an astronomical body Kerberos. Fluffy should be reserved for a warm body that you can cuddle (as long as the music is playing).