Perfect sex minx calculated from 'deep' probe of X-rated flicks Hardcore data analysis of hardcore web filth has produced a surprise finding: the average female porn star is NOT blonde nor does she sport oversized Bulgarian airbags. Investigative writer Jon Millward dedicated six months of his life to the task of crunching through vital statistics in the largest database of adult …
Whatever.
As a dude who has been in charge of finding workplace (and .edu) bandwidth wasters, porn is porn. From my perspective, as long as there's explicit sex involving at least one warm body, nobody seems to care about the physical details of the "actor(s)".
Sex is completely normal. Wasting institution bandwidth is a firing offense.
Beer. Because sometimes its necessary after reviewing a CEO's network access log ...
@jake again. If you insist, let's go there. 1st sentence. irrelevant. Your job .. Such that it is .. Does not provide any special qualification for judging porn. 2nd sentence is opinion so that's OK .. Thing is, it really is just an opinion and you don't provide a single shred of supporting evidence. That renders it, dare I say, a waste of bandwidth. 3rd and 4th sentences are both non sequiturs. No one cares whether your company fires people for looking at porn because the article wasn't about that. Similarly, no one cares that you get to see what the CEO looks at and again, it has nothing to do with the article. It might have marginal relevance if you were to claim that your CEO looks at porn - Do you want to make that claim ? and if not, exactly what content is it that we're supposed to find so interesting ?
"1st sentence. irrelevant. Your job .. Such that it is .."
That's the second sentence. Try reading for comprehension.
"Does not provide any special qualification for judging porn."
I know what porn is when I see it. So do you. So does everyone reading this commentardary. So drop the pretension before everyone upvotes you, proving how stupid ElReg's readership is rapidly becoming.
"2nd sentence is opinion so that's OK .."
Oh, gee, thanks. I'm so happy that you approve. And that's the third, for the math(s) impaired. I'll stop counting now, seeing as you never attempted.
"Thing is, it really is just an opinion and you don't provide a single shred of supporting evidence. That renders it, dare I say, a waste of bandwidth."
And your reply is ... What. exactly? All I can say is that if you have access to a teenage/collage age boy's computer, or the computer of a man in an executive position who thinks he's beyond reprimand, there will be traces of porn of all kinds on it. Trust me. I've seen it. On all of them. For decades. Part of my "job" (such that it is), is fixing systems after users get in over their heads. Often (usually?) because of browsing "free porn" sites. Being a conslutant is a bitch.
My point was that porn is porn, in all it's various boring iterations. Trying to pinpoint perfect "ideals" for the porn industry is an exercise in stupidity. I feel very, very sorry for Jon Millward's .sig Other(s) ... I mean, seriously, six months of hs life for this? What a monumental waste of time.
Oh, I completely agree that this analysis is a complete waste of time. Especially considering that anyone with eyes can see that the girls in porn don't fit any stereotype except that most of them are skinny. Rule 34 notwithstanding, but that part was taken care of by the "top most popular porn stars" part of the analysis.
Totally incorrect. ANYONE that works in advertising and marketing would very much like to know that research because it is likely that the output of that would be a face that would, de facto, appeal to a large number of men. Not just for porn, but also to pose with automobiles, mobile phones, vacations to warm beaches, etc. Basically anything that you would want to advertise to a man, especially blue collar. Find models that look like that description, or use makeup to approximate, and your ad response rate will probably increase (for the right product types).
I can think of many, many real-world, game-changing, life-enhancing applications for it. We just need the raw collected data, possibly enhanced (heh) with more information about the actors and cross-referenced with the movies. It is hard (heh) bot doable, as long as the network admin gets out of our way.
For starters, get all the data collected and create a firefox plug-in (heh) that scans the pirate bay and filters out all results with:
* Oversized boob jobs with visible surgery scars.
* Fading tramp stamps.
* Scary and clearly unhygienic piercings.
* Titles with words like "young" and "teenager" with performers that are clearly over 50.
* Dialogue.
Next: on to the Japanese Porn IMDB or whatever they have here and measure the pubes' average length. Add to the filter a rule about square inches coverage and maximum allowed length.
Apart from the fact it is interesting, informative and it got the researcher noticed by a number of significant news outlets? Have a look at his other investigations they are well presented & researched.
Why interesting:
The age of starting a porn career negates the idea that Porn is exploiting misty eyed young pre teen girls.
Longevity suggests that mainly the career is short reason unknown but it may be a way of paying tuition fees much like escort workers at UK universities. The fact it is so long (3 years ) suggests it might not be exploitation issue.
Ethnic mix is very interesting as it suggests that no particular race is targeted to perform. I imagined the more exotic races would be targeted.
Yes, stanimir, jpeg existed in the late 1980s. ISO TC 97 became ISO/IEC JTC1 in 1987. I was part of the working group.
I am mildly amused at all the wankers that seem to be pro-porn, but don't like being called wankers. Methinks your inferiority complex is showing ... Either find a MOTAS, or admit to enjoying masturbation instead of socialization. It's not exactly rocket science.
Hold on. You say that wasting an institution's bandwidth is a firing offence, well that's as maybe but what has that got to do with the article? Do you think the researcher used university bandwidth without permission?
Also, you think that no one is interested in the physical details of people they fantasize about? Try telling that to the foot fetishists, BBW lovers, artificial/natural/big/small breast afficionados, the researchers and funders of this study, or indeed yours truly. Smutty jokes aside, this is quite reasonable research into what people (or at least Americans) find sexually attractive especially as a fantasy. It would be fascinating to see what differences there are between grumble-flick girls and "real world" girls that people find attractive, or to see how tastes change over time vs fashions, or across cultures.
And seriously, who calls themselves a dude? (With the exception of The Dude of course).
Where I live, we get HUUUUUGGEEEE double or tripple decker, multi trailer trucks of pigs, sailing past on their mission of volunteering to become fillings for bacon sammiches.
And as a sort of former purveyor of porn.....
Well I think the hundreds of truckloads of pigs bear a striking resemblance to hundreds of web pages of naked women.
Professional porn... "OH no - fuck what else is on?"
Amateur sites of people posting their own pics and vids.......
This is like spending years flicking through decades of used car adds in the classified adds sections of old news papers, trying to do statistics by year and model and parts for sale, in different shires and counties...
I like women, I like sex and I like really good relationships - but porn...
It is just such tedious bullshit.....
10 million and one of them stuffing dildos in every orifice - well so fucking what?
It's like 10,000 reruns of Gilligans Island....
But a woman with a personality, brain, good manners, and can hold great conversations AND she all of her clothes on!!!!!!
Whoaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
One has to wonder about the applicability of averages to all things. If half the people like black, and the other half like white, does that mean that everyone likes grey? Since both milkshakes and hamburgers are very popular, I suppose a ground beef shake would be twice as popular. Sometimes it's the non-average that makes the treat. In fact, average isn't very sexy.
I was going to post much the same thing. There are almost no fields in which you'd take a set of 'unusually gifted' people and proclaim that their average would be 'better' than any of the individuals.
You might argue that you average out the flaws, but you can't do that without averaging out the, err, peaks.
You do realize when you mix white and black people together, you don't get grey people. As much as the women tan around here it would seem that closer to a light brown is pretty popular.
Anyway, if the porn sites are giving me accurate statistics, all the black men are having sex with white women that have a very large derriere.
I would absolutely HATE to have to work in the censors office... sure some "porn" (question mark?) is just fucking bullshit.
But so is almost all of it......
But I am fine with naked people doing funny things......
This is one of my favourite video clips of all time...
Julie Strain doing her naked joke of the week.....
http://shooshtime.com/videos/naked-joke-rodeo-style_4985/
It's based on the mean and while there are all shapes and sizes out there, there's a reason why the result is close to the mean for young American women. Interestingly, it's probably closer to the norm than a similar comparison of fashion models. What does that tell us? Men who watch porn are less likely to be surprised by the real bodies of women if they ever meet them but girls reading Vogue are doomed to eternal disappointment?
Anyway, who ever really bothers to look at the faces? And where's the bukake icon?
I remember seeing an interview with a porn director in which he was asked what the key requirements were for porn actresses and actors. After a long session discussing the various attributes required of women, he was asked what was required of a man:
"They have to be really fucking stupid.".
"Oh? Why is that?".
"Because any man capable of thinking about it can't get it up when surrounded by cameramen, lighting technicians, sound engineers and so on and with somebody telling them what to do.".
Of course it makes no sense. Like much of the "science" which is reported these days, it is actually nothing to do with what it pretends to be about. It isn't about porn or attractiveness, its an undergrad maths (stats) project.
I seem to think that someone did the same thing around 20 years ago. The conclusion then was that people find "averaged" (and symmetrical) faces more attractive than unique faces and the more faces which were added to the mix, the more votes they got for attractiveness.
http://www.lovelyish.com/733599569/this-is-the-most-beautiful-woman-in-the-world/
The results were quite similar. I think what it mostly shows is the current 'ideal face' from the point of view of predominantly white, male, US commercial interests... a cultural strange attractor, I guess.
"men get a third of the pay women get"
WHAT!!! HOW DARE THEY!!! MEN, WE MUST MARCH!!! EQUALITY FOR ALL, EQUAL PAY FOR ALL. PORN IS TOO FULL OF WOMEN AND WE DEMAND A 50/50 QUOTA GUARANTEED BY SOME POORLY WRITTEN NEW LAW (let's stick in something about extra time off for men to recover too while we're are making demands). IT'S OUR HUMAN RIGHT!!! THIS ILLEGAL IMBALANCE HAS GONE ON FOR TOO LONG!!!!111ONEONE
You'd be forgiven for thinking so, but oddly it turns out that in the case of faces in particular, "average" (or at least, close to it) really is what is the most broadly attractive.
When you think about it, the same is true of at least some other physical attributes: for example, women generally prefer men who are taller than themselves, but not excessively tall, so the "most desirable" height is probably pretty close to the average height. And if you think about it genetically, when you have a characteristic such as height or facial appearance that (a) is affected by a large number of genes and (b) that influences chances of reproduction, it's actually not surprising that you end up with a mean that is in some sense the most attractive and a population distributed around that mean.
This post has been deleted by its author
Ron Jeremy.
Is it "if a not-so-handsome man* as him can have sex with beautiful filthy women, then so can I (in my dreams)"
or
"How does a not-so-handsome-man as him have so much sex with beautiful filthy women? "
He's no Adonis, let's be honest, he looks like an average of guys down the bookies
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
