back to article Playmobil punts bank-heist set to wide-eyed kiddies

El Reg's fave toy manufacturer Playmobil has provoked a miniature rumpus by punting a bank-heist set to children. The Playmobil bank set, complete with armed robber The "Bank with Safe" ensemble boasts a working cash machine although nippers are encouraged to make over-the-counter withdrawals via a pistol-waving blonde …

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  1. TechnicianJack
    Happy

    Well, it can't be all that bad. The banker getting robbed is still smiling.

    1. C 18

      ...art, true to life &c...

      This is awesome.

      This is just awesome. The smiling 'banker' of course is because he's just handing his money to his launderer. This isn't the depiction of a bank robbery, well not in the classic 'Bonnie & Clyde' sense. This is the real bank robbery, you can see from the lighting effect that this 'transaction' takes place at night. Finding a bank open during the daylight hour of lunchtime used to be a difficult enough problem.

      No, this is the 'hand-off', the actual cash the bank made that day fits into two bundles of paper notes that the banker is gleefully giving to his daughter, who looks, unsurprisingly, exactly like the chick (we can have thoughts about now for sure) (but not then, when she was) in 'Kick-Ass'.

      Anyway, that's what's really going on here. Plus, it's early April Fool's product testing from the focus group department at Vutch Cent...

      fo' shu'!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No transit?

      Can't be for real then.

  2. Christian Berger

    I think it sends out a positive gender message

    The female bank robber sends out a message that of course women can take part in society in previously male dominated areas. And she is doing something productive, robbing a bank.

    Bank robberies redirect money from investment banks to actual productive branches. They pay for the wages of your bakery or meat market, they pay for your hairdresser and plumber, and perhaps even your drug dealer. Bank robberies create and maintain jobs.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: I think it sends out a positive gender message

      That deserves more than one up vote.

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: I think it sends out a positive gender message

      Actually, banks create and maintain jobs too.

      What you would actually need to do is rob the CENTRAL bank. Unfortunately you are then faced with the decision to either take the printing press or the folder of worthless IOUs from the exchequer, none of which is a palatable choice.

    3. Ian McNee
      IT Angle

      Re: I think it sends out a positive gender message

      @Christian: all good points but this Playmobil kit is so 20th century: where's the card skimmer for the ATM??

      1. Christian Berger

        @Ian McNee

        Actually I'm surprised to see an ATM at all. I've been to Playmobilland before. It's a little enclave inside of Germany. As far as I know they are not a member of the EU and you need a Visa, which you can get at the border for 10 Euros.

        I have not seen any ATMs in the country. Even if there were some, they probably would be heavily guarded. There are lots of guards in Playmobilland. Just like the palace guards they usually stand around doing nothing.

  3. heyrick Silver badge
    WTF?

    Back in my day

    Children used to play cowboys and Indians (glossing over the genocide issues), army games (plastic guns equals cool) and space explorer (all aliens die without question).

    And?

  4. thesykes
    Thumb Up

    "warning: contains firearms, sex, violence, etc, etc"

    I'm on my way....

  5. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Let's just hope they never watch The Simpsons (Snake), or any number of late 70's and 80's cartoons...

    At least the Playmocrook doesn't have a black and white striped top and a sack labelled SWAG.

  6. FartingHippo
    Megaphone

    Good for them

    *Caution: When-I-Were-A-Lad Rant*

    Glad to see Playmobile bucking the trend for increasingly banal toys. It's the trend that has seen cap-guns, spud-guns, toy swords, and bow-and-arrows-with-suckers-on-the-end all but eradicated from toy emporia, but has seen the rise of increasingly sexualized girl-toys, 'cos that's just peachy.

    Bought my lad a Playmobile cop van and was horrified that I felt mildly uncomfortable with the miniature shotgun and pistols. Note: horrified by my reaction, not the toy. I felt like I'd been brainwashed. Fortunately, he loves it, and he brought a tear to my eye by pretending to shoot his sister's doll with all the appropriate sound effects. Must join him in a shoot-out later...

  7. Corp-Rat
    Thumb Up

    Never mind Lego

    What about all the lego sets with assorted crooks?

    see

    LEGO City Forest Police Station 4440

    1. deshepherd

      Re: Never mind Lego

      yes, Playmobil are just playing catch up with Lego who've had a bank robber (helpfully identifiable by a striped top .... sadly, though, without a bag marked SWAG) called "the Brickster" for many years!

    2. Joefish
      Coat

      Re: Never mind Lego

      They got a few frowns a few years ago when the first Batman sets came with uzis, but the recent Forest Police Station doesn't come with firearms.

      It does come with a bear, though thankfully they're not American so they didn't arm it. Or have I got that the wrong way round again..?

    3. IR
      Happy

      Re: Never mind Lego

      Yep, just about every police Lego set has a stripey robber in it.

      Here's a good one:

      http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Police-Prisoner-Transport-7286/dp/B004478GJM/ref=pd_sim_t_5

      But even better is this one that shows kids the usage of a crowbar to get into an ATM:

      http://www.amazon.com/LEGO-Police-Minifigure-Collection-7279/dp/B004478GIS/ref=pd_sim_t_7

      1. LaeMing
        Thumb Up

        Re: Never mind Lego

        I saw a Lego criminal variant with one purple hand (think it was from one of those 'surprise' eggs at the supermarket). Took me a while to work out that it was because he had it in the dye-bomb-fitted money bag.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Playmobil in touch with reality

    I'm glad to see that, as others have posted, Playmobil is more in touch with reality than the ultra-PC crime-deniers.

    If nothing else, it will give all those Playmobil policemen something to do with their motorbikes, vans, cars and helicopters.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah, and slaying Lego dragons encourages cruelty to animals....

    1. Marvin the Martian

      Or the tyrannosaurs & raptors

      The 'dinosaur' sets of Lego and Playmobil on the other hand inevitably provoke plays about bloody violence against people, which isn't seen as so bad in this country ('as long as no poor widdle animals get hurt').

      1. Joefish
        Angel

        Re: Or the tyrannosaurs & raptors

        A few years back, LEGO introduced dinosaur hunter sets in the US only. The UK had a (literally) fantastic range based on Vikings and Nordic legends. Because of demand, they brought the dinos to Europe too, but not until they'd re-designed every single set to be animal-friendly, with tranq-darts and enclosures instead of hunting rifles.

  10. Elmer Phud

    Missing vital parts

    Where's the DIY card reader and camera for the ATM?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Missing vital parts

      and where's the Romanian operator in his characteristic (ethnic) garb?

      no, we can't be judgmental, nosir! We can only say, in a roundabout way, "an operator with a looks which appears to be East European, perhaps".

      well, then at least I can say "Polish operator", and you can't accuse me of being racist, cause I'm like, Polish.

  11. Lamont Cranston

    My friends and I were forever playing "Cops & Robbers" when we were young,

    and it never did us any harm.

    That said, all my money is tied up in the Cayman Islands, and I've been on the run for the last 15 years...

  12. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    This was actually meant to be a licensed product - it's based on the little known ITV drama series "Daylight Robbery" from fifteen years ago staring Michelle Collins! Its really big in Germany that show and the blonde bird with the shooter is meant to be Ms Collins herself in her role as a young mother turning to bank jobs to pay her gas bill! It's a good likeness I'm sure you will agree, they really know how to injection mould soap stars those Playmobil guys!

    They were also planning on doing a similar Thelma and Louise playset complete with convertible car and convenience store but alas they lost the licences for both so instead we ended up with this generic "City Action" set. Such a shame!

  13. BlueGreen

    Natwest had their own don't-scare-the-punters term for armed robbery

    "unauthorised withdrawal"

    true

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Natwest had their own don't-scare-the-punters term for armed robbery

      That's what she said!

  14. Disintegrationnotallowed

    When

    When I get paid I will be buying one for my two daughters . I am sure they will love it, and I love the anarchy of them robbing the bankers and taking their "shares" directly.

    1. Natalie Gritpants Silver badge

      Re: When

      Why wait? They can't really complain if you steal it.

  15. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    "Ciudad Juárez drug cartel gun battle set"

    It's hard to depict spilling entrails with playmobils though.

    1. Kevin Johnston

      Re: "Ciudad Juárez drug cartel gun battle set"

      Nah, easy peasy....they just use it as an outlet for the figures where the injection molding didn't work perfectly instead of binning or recycling them.

      1. Andrew Halliwell

        Re: "Ciudad Juárez drug cartel gun battle set"

        Entrails you say?

        Seems to me the ideal melding of playmobile and playdough...

  16. Silverburn

    Good to see they still make...

    ...the unimog truck thingy. Even today, I *want*. eg: Self-loader or theTow Truck

    and....oh, god. I MUST HAVE

    The freight train

    Why did they not have the train in my day???

    1. Christian Berger

      Re: Good to see they still make...

      Well there's also "Bruder", they make a fire truck with an actual pump. :)

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RC--OhVOh28

  17. ukgnome

    40 quid from popular online e-tailer

    That's the real robbery!

  18. Tascam Holiday
    Happy

    Optional JCB

    For added fun get the Playmobil digger for extracting that ATM:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Playmobil-4038-Heavy-Front-Loader/dp/B001RHAF46/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1360588727&sr=8-3

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Optional JCB

      Funny, my kid got donated that set exactly on Sunday.

      He hasn't been seen or heard since.

      Great kit/kid.

  19. Velv
    Childcatcher

    I'm just waiting for the outrage when Playmobil bring together the figures from different sets into a Village People set :)

    Everyone: Y M C A !

  20. Craig 28

    Well noone made a fuss about the McDonalds Hamburgler way back when, though I was only a young kid so I might have missed it if they had. The sheer number of action cartoon licensed toys when I was a kid with some kind of guns was very high though, yet somehow everything in the cartoon seemed to fire lasers. Oh and fantasy cartoons like Thundercats (they carried swords damn it so I refuse to call it proper sci fi) and HeMan had plenty of melee weapons. Hell, when I was at primary school the school before the holidays let us all watch Star Wars which involved Luke's hand getting chopped off. (by let I mean forced us to watch, it took all my effort not to fall asleep)

  21. Benchops

    Dreadful role model for children

    Including a banker? What were they thinking?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Of course, put a cowboy hat on the robber and it's all fine.

  23. GitMeMyShootinIrons
    Thumb Up

    Start of a new range....

    Perhaps this opens up a whole new range of underworld options...

    - Seedy strip joint, complete with pole-dancers and dodgy drug dealer type.

    - Prison set, complete with over crowded cells - BUY NOW - comes with Prison riot expansion!

    - Crime Boss set - Swanky office with Big Boss at desk with white furry cat. Complete with a set of heavies working over a snitch.

  24. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Coat

    Uproar?!

    Playmobil re-enactment or it didn't happen!

    I'll get me coat.

  25. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    Tut tut, elReg, please do your research.

    French horse meat burger-making factory

    Tut tut, elReg, please do your research, if it was French horse meat it might be at least be food grade.

    However its seems that the Swedish firm Findus obtained the 'meat' from a Luxembourg factory supplied by the French firm Spanghero's holding company Poujol who bought the 'meat', frozen, from a Cypriot trader who sub-contracted the order to a Dutch company supplied by a Romanian abattoir, or possibly a Romanian knackers yard.

    Adding in 2 distributors and the supermarket that retails the 'product' that's at least 9 companies in the chain, if each add a 30% mark-up then the £1.60 Findus Beef Lasagne sold in ASDA has a base cost of raw materials of approx £0.15.

    Way is anyone surprised when this happens.

    Paris, nearest thing to a SJP icon.

    1. Mike Richards Silver badge

      Re: Tut tut, elReg, please do your research.

      Sweden, Luxembourg, France, Cyprus, the Netherlands, Romania?

      I wonder if that donkey was eligible for Airmiles.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Tut tut, elReg, please do your research.

      ref. base cost, there was a para-documentary on BBC (?) a good few years ago, where, apart from children in Africa singing "We love youuuu, Tescoooo", the gist was this: a packet of green beans which retails at £1 costs 1 p to make. So those horse lasagna actually offer an excellent value for money, given what has happened with the poor hose alongside all those "processing" stages.

      I would be more distressed to find out, that the image on those boxes of shit (aka lasagne), depict a real beef.

  26. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Pressure groups

    They always have such stupid names 'Communities Against Gun and Knife Crime'

    Like there's a Communities For Gun and Knife Crime lobby group somewhere.

    1. lglethal Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Pressure groups

      There is - it's called the NRA...

      (Awaiting down votes from americans...)

  27. Simon Harris
    Happy

    I want one with red hair...

    ... so I can do Playmobil Run Lola Run

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