Girl gang targets Microsoft's Seattle stores for $5,000 theft spree

Seattle police are on the lookout for a group of female thieves who are targeting Microsoft retail stores on its home turf. The police report says that the gang, which consists of six women and a man, have so far stuck five times in the last two months, Q13 Fox reports. So far they've stolen an estimated $5,000 in purloined …

[nuked]

There's an amazing joke here somewhere, but I just can't find it...

[Chemist]

"There's an amazing joke here somewhere, but I just can't find it..."

They're putting copies of W8 back !

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

The originally only stole $99 worth of phones but had to go back and steal $9900 in CALS to use them

[P. Lee]

With a nod to Dilbert, "the only thing worse than having your stuff stolen is having it returned."

[Anonymous Coward]

But who the hell are they going to sell the stolen goods to?

[Voland's right hand]

re: But who the hell are they going to sell the stolen goods to?

If something is worth stealing, it may be worth buying.

I smell a PR RAT and a big fat one too.

[Marvin the Martian]

Crime hardly pays.

So six people make $5000 in two months, that's... $417/person/month. Sheesh. Commuting in & out to those stores will have taken up a good part of that.

In theory, because you'll get less than face value. At best 90% if selling it via eBay I guess, but it leaves a pretty good record if the product keys are known by MS.

[Anonymous Coward]

They thought it was an Apple Store.

Blame the poor quality education they got...

[Timo]

they should have noticed that something was wrong

I say - they should have known that something was wrong when they noticed that there were people in the store. Not employees mind you, but people that might be mistaken for customers.

[NoneSuch]

"Based on Microsoft pricing, the septet of shifty shoplifters could have snaffled 10 base-specification Surface fondleslabs"

So that's half their production run then.

[southpacificpom]

You mean Oprah will only get 6 fondleslabs to use as xmas prezzies?

She will have to buy 6 iPads now to make up the original order.

[Anonymous Coward]

"So that's half their production run then."

You bounder! I was going to use that joke, about MS recording the thefts of any WP8 phones as sales to double the numbers..

[Anonymous Coward]

Typo? Girl gang targets Microsoft's Seattle stores for $5.00 theft spree

As when I saw it was Surface tablets and Windows Phone stuff, it surely can't be worth more than $5.

Perhaps Microsoft are so desperate for news sites talking about their dismal hardware products, they paid them to steal this crap, and then throw it in a nearby skip.

[southpacificpom]

Ballmer Babes

They are now known as the Ballmer Babes.

Seriously what twat would steal this shit?

[Peter Simpson 1]

Re: Ballmer Babes

Security's too good at the Apple stores?

Sometimes ya gotta settle for second best.

[Marvin the Martian]

Re: Ballmer Babes

It's not second best, but there's no Nexus Store I guess.

[David Pollard]

Marketing

They'll stop at nothing in trying to persuade people this stuff is desirable.

[Quxy]

Re: Marketing

Yes, I rather wonder if this is another of Microsoft's attempts at "viral" marketing for the Surface. The total cost will end up being $5,055,000 -- $5k for the tablets, $50k for the lawyers needed to disentangle the "gang" from the Seattle PD, and $5M for advertising duo Slain & Rivers.

[Sureo]

At first I thought the picture was of the leader of the girl gang.

[Christoph]

"We just stood there basically and made sure no one came in,"

Err - they foiled crime by making sure nobody could get into the courthouse?

[Arachnoid]

They had earlier tried stealing hardware from Apple stores but had given this up as a lost cause because there wasn't enough customers to hide what they were doing.

[Paul Hovnanian]

Is Microsoft going to count these as part of their sales figures?

[Anonymous Coward]

"Is Microsoft going to count these as part of their sales figures?"

Undoubtedly. They usually refer to shipped product as "sales", as in the case of all the Vista kit sold to businesses, and promptly rolled back to XP by resellers before the end users ever saw it.

[Don Jefe]

iPub

You gotta love marketing. Apple leaves their wares in pubs to be 'found' and hires police to track down the thief.

Microsoft pays some pimp & his bitches to steal their wares. I bet they were all super hot too. The guy was probably so pimp he had goldfish in his shoes.

All this shite is a gimmick designed to reach website front pages. It is all just so trashy...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: iPub

Boi, you only pimp when your goldfish wear shoes, crocodile skin ones.

[Anonymous Coward]

"$5,000 in purloined goods from Microsoft stores"

That was over the course of five robberies. They must have had a lot of time to empty the stores each time.

[Steven Roper]

6 women and a man?

Let me guess:

When this gang is caught, I've got 20 bucks that says the man's sentence will be longer or more severe than any of the womens', even if he isn't the ringleader. I've got another 20 bucks that says at least one of the women will get off without a prison term, but the man won't.

Any takers?

[Paul Hovnanian]

RE: 6 women and a man?

"When this gang is caught, I've got 20 bucks that says the man's sentence will be longer or more severe than any of the womens'"

Not taking that bet. Its possible that the man is providing security for the women picking up the merch. In fact, he might be armed.

[DJ Smiley]

Re: RE: 6 women and a man?

As a bloke who regularly got followed by security guards I know exactly what he looks like.

He'll be scruffy looking, with long hair. He'll be slightly geeky.

He'll walk in wearing a long leather trenchcoat or something simular, walk around the store looking at random products.

Why do I know this? Because all security guards seem to be idiots who ignore the ladies and follow the guy who "LOOKS" like a thief. Mean while they empty the place.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: RE: 6 women and a man?

"Simular"? Really? Homer Simpson, I choose you!

[Anonymous Coward]

have so far stuck five times

Would that be "have so far struck five times"? Or what was is it they were sticking too? Stick to the man!

[Anonymous Coward]

The slammer awaits...

...these scumbag b*tches.

[Matthew Glubb]

Recidivist

How do you know the gang have previous convictions?

[N2]

Must be

A Microsoft publicity stunt as theres not much worth nicking.

[The Original Cactus]

I have to say that Phoenix Jones' costume looks a lot better than I imagined from the previous report. I'd expected him to look like the Human Bolt.

[Frankee Llonnygog]

Maybe they'll use the medical defence

"My doctor told me to keep taking the tablets"