back to article John McAfee blogs from Guatemalan jail, says coffee excellent

John McAfee has been arrested in Guatemala and says the nation's jails are far nicer than those in Belize. McAfee has blogged about his arrest, saying "I asked for a computer and one magically appeared. The coffee is also excellent." McAfee's post also says "Only time will tell what will happen. No one has a crystal ball. …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This guy sounds like a nut job

    Seriously, what is he doing? Is he trying to make a good case for an insanity plea?

    1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

      Re: This guy sounds like a nut job

      It's certainly the best impersonation of a box of frogs I've seen for a while.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    nah, he started to lose it a couple of years back. And it was certainly not in contemplation of committing a murder and pleading insanity.

    1. Ian Yates

      He's probably just got a virus

      1. NogginTheNog

        Re. virus

        Well he's going to end up in the Virus Vault permanently soon!

  3. El Presidente

    His Wig

    Is being held on separate charges of impersonating a haircut.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Funny mushrooms...

    ...someone's obviously had one too many.

  5. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    Forget blogs, how about a new social network...

    JailBook! The worlds number-one criminal networking service!

    Then Microsoft comes along and invents bng.up (pronounced "banged up")

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Forget blogs, how about a new social network...

      how about "Binged up"?

  6. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    GJail? :)

    1. Flawless101


    2. Ru

      Not just simply Gaol? I guess AOL still holds the dotcom for that one, though.

      Trips off the tongue a bit more easily than iNternment, at least.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    That will teach him not to remove XIFF data courtesy of magazine Vice :)

    Seriously though, this guy is giving all the signals of "I did it your honour" and trying to get away or is it just me?


    Allegedly did it - just to cover my own arse.

  8. Mondo the Magnificent

    There has to be a movie in this story..

    With McAfee played by Tommy Chong... (of Cheech & Chong 'fame')

    The story of a crazy millionaire stoner who's neighbour is killed by aliens, but fearing the worst he goes on the run disguised as women, vagrants and even getting a Korean impersonator to head to the Mexican border

    The cop hunting him down is a veteran cop played by Cheech Marin, who portrays a Latino "Tommy Lee Jones/U.S. Marshalls" type character who buzzes out on mushrooms and often carries a banana in his gun holster..

    Ah, the possibilities are endless

    1. Dave 126

      Re: There has to be a movie in this story..

      An interesting treatment... I was more thinking Terry Gilliam could direct 'Belize' as a sequel to 'Brazil'. The director's trademark themes of imagination, paranoia, fantasy etc etc... Seriously, Gilliam is currently filming 'The Zero Thereom', with Christoph Waltz as reclusive computer programmer in a future totalitarian state. Life/art.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: There has to be a movie in this story..

        Terry Gilliam treatment: not sure why, but a vision of a 12 Monkeys sequal just came to mind with McAfee believing he is Cole (Willis' character).

        lol, thanks for that.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There has to be a movie in this story..

      This man is definitely not on pharmaceuticals ..

      "I'm a blowfish, yo!"

  9. LJRich
    Black Helicopters


    I know it's probably not, but this reeks of a Sir Richard Branson-style PR stunt.

    Almost makes me want to go out and buy some commercial antivirus software.


    1. LinkOfHyrule

      Re: SRB?

      They should team up together - just imagine him being sent to a newly privatised "Virgin Jail" LMAO

  10. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    Very soon now ..

    .. the guy is going to need a wholly different sort of anti-virus ..

  11. taxman


    Perhaps he should join Kim and develop Hobbit holes in New Zealand.

  12. Mark Allread

    Blogging from a cell

    Well I've blogged from a cell phone before, but not a cell PC.

  13. Dough

    Joke alert

    I hear his lawyer has filed for a 30-day free trial...

    1. Michael M

      Re: Joke alert

      This illustrates the sad decline of journalism - why is a free trial gag not in the story.

      1. Anonymous Coward

        Re: why is a free trial gag not in the story

        Because it has been in every comment thread so far.

        The sad thing is is took me ages to get it. Well, maybe not so sad: I haven't bought a computer+windows for a decade or more. But, after getting it, once was enough.

        1. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects

          Re: why is a free trial gag not in the story

          I loved the idea he can get a computer in a Belize gaol. As for being crazy, I don't understand why everyone thinks that about him. What gets me is that in a ralatively well off country we have about 1/3 of the male population in prison at one time or another and the only access we get to electronics is TV and radio if we deserve it "for being good".

          So we come out with no real contact to reality and expect to start again with only Coronation Street and News At Ten for points of contact with the free world. We can't even get to read the Register.

          That's cruel and inhumane treatment isn't it?

  14. Mark Allread

    If this goes to trial

    I bet his trial lasts for 30 days.

    Yes, I stole this joke from elsewhere.

  15. Blacklight

    Prison blogging?

    Actually on a computer maybe - Prisoner Ben (and his blog) have been going for a while (although he's now free) - albeit he was blogging by proxy, sending his posts out by mail to be typed up - but it's a very good read!

  16. El Presidente

    And even after the 30 day trial is over and they've deported him ...

    The administrators will still be finding annoying bits of McAfee lurking in various places in the various court buildings and jail houses.

  17. Blitterbug

    Are all the Norton ads on this page...

    ...Taking the piss or wot?

    1. druck Silver badge

      Re: Are all the Norton ads on this page...

      I almost wished I wasn't running adblock then - just for a second.

  18. What of IT?

    Although he might sound like a madman (probably is), this publicly witnessed escapade may be just what he needs. With the world watching, maybe he is more likely to get a fair(er) trial when he does eventually get bussed back to Belize.

  19. Valeyard

    Right now Assange is thinking frantically of how to upstage him as he's only a duke of crazy rather than the king now.

    McAfee already has plans in motion to keep his crown though; He's asked Eddie Jordan to housesit for him. Once he gets arrested cos they all look the same anyway McAfee will start F1 commentating in a dodgy Irish accent

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sadly, Assange missed out the funny crazy stage and went direct to boring crazy

  20. Andus McCoatover

    Reminded me of Reiser, somehow....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Reminded me of Reiser?

      @Andus McCoatover: "Reminded me of Reiser, somehow"....

      No, Reiser was Open Source, while McAfee was Windows only ...

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If he does end up in jail, it will be ironic when cell mates try to take advantage of a back door vulnerability.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    first there was hans reiser and now this? what next

  23. preppy


    So John McAfee was located because of a location tag in a photo taken of him and a journalist.

    Interesting......given his technology chops, why was he not INSISTENT that ALL the tags be stripped out of the photo before it was posted?

    This is (yet another) warning that much of the new "user friendly" technology in place today is actually spying on its users - whether actively or (in this case) passively. BEWARE!

  24. GougedEye

    Bet he wishes he went to Ecuador instead.

  25. Petrea Mitchell

    Kids: This is your brain on drugs

    This whole saga has become one of the finest arguments I've ever seen for avoiding mind-altering substances.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother


    Regardless of what this guy did or didn't do, the more I think about it being "illegal" to walk from one arbitrary public place to another (i.e. over a "border") the more bizarre it sounds.

    It's just one of those things that we've stopped thinking about as strange: I don't think that is a good thing.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Regardless

      As an immigrant, no, I haven't stopped thinking about it. There are a lot of us about, you know.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Regardless

        > There are a lot of us about, you know.

        As a Canadian immigrant, you may include me in that group.

        My point was that for a large part of the world population, we take it as read that countries should have legal borders across which you may only cross with permission. I find that pretty worrying.

        It's not *really* that long ago that you could get on a boat and travel anywhere you want. Passports didn't even exist.

        I would kinda like to return to a world like that.

        1. cosymart

          Re: Regardless

          Is that boat you want to travel on the same one that "so called" explorers set forth in to rape, murder and pillage the native inhabitants of (insert name of any Non-European country here)?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    > set forth in to rape, murder and pillage the native inhabitants of (insert name of any Non-European country here)?

    Since I have no religious affiliations whatsoever, then the answer would have to be no. ;)

  28. Grease Monkey Silver badge

    The first question I would ask of Mr McAfee is this.

    If you believe Belize to be such a terrible place with such an unfair justice system and a terrible record on human rights, why did you choose to live there?

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