Hero Playmonaut lost at sea as SPEARS ditches in Channel It's with heavy hearts that we report the loss of the Special Project Bureau's heroic playmonaut, after the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) balloon launch on Saturday ended in the English Channel off the coast of Sussex. Click here for a bigger version of the LOHAN graphic The flight was intended to test the …
Just epic!
I shall follow this continuing saga, forgetting not those who fell in the pursuit of glory.
I do not doubt the playmonaut was taken (by Valkyrie) to a place in the great hall of Valhalla, the only fitting place for a hero of his stature. I shall raise a horn filled to the brim with my best mead this evening, or failing that a tot of finest Usge beatha!
No. the fat from the bacon and a suitable amount of sauce would be all the lubrication your throat needs. Butter is for people who auto-spread any piece of bread without thinking. I like the muffin twist in this episode, as I have been bettering the bland McOffering for several years with suitable inclusion of a quality cheese, better sausagemeat/bacon and the delicious inclusion of a slice of crispy black pudding (SuperTimuffins). Maybe there is another breakfast competition in the offing, but in the mean time it may be wiser to let the beast sleep.
No. the fat from the bacon and a suitable amount of sauce would be all the lubrication your throat needs. Butter is for people who auto-spread any piece of bread without thinking.
I think you'll find butter is for people who prefer not to eat tomato flavoured sucrose-fructose syrup. ;-)
Water immersion triggered safety line separation
positive buoyancy device (piece of polystyrene foam)
waterproof luggage label "if found please call........."
of course there's a chance that a battered and faded Playmonaut No1 will turn up on a coast some day and someone will wonder where he came from (imagines plastic amnesiac in Dutch boy's toybox)
I do know of an expert in tidal flows around the UK....hmmm might know where the little fellow could be found.
Floating endlessly on the waves
The shore no longer beckons
Surrounded by the billows and gales
A force with which he reckons
Longing and anguish fills his heart
Faces fill his mind
As the sun and salt beat down and sting
He holds tight and waits for a sign
Those he left are lifting prayers
To the unseen One above
He prays himself as he holds on
And tries to feel their love
Never has loneliness held such meaning
Nor sorrow held such weight
What he would give out on this sea
To know his ending fate
Should he give in to sleep or fight it back
Cry for help or mercy
Relive his memories or stay alert
Oh would that help would hurry!
The day is done, the sun rides low
O'er all the salty waves
Tomorrow is another day to fight
And pray that he'll be saved.
Goodbye playmonaut - your sacrifice will not go unnoticed.
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of — wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov’ring there,
I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air....
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace.
Where never lark, or even eagle flew —
And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
- Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
As the Sun breaks above the ground
A playmonaut stands on the hill
As the ground warms to the first rays of light
A birdsong shatters the still
His eyes are ablaze
See the madman in his gaze
Fly, on your way, like an eagle
Fly as high as the Sun
On your way, like an eagle
Fly, touch the Sun
Iron Maiden - Flight of Icarus
"Harmless Scientific Experiment" ? Say that to the poor plastic person that you just deep sixed.
That is some pretty impressive distance covered, how much flight time did you actually achieve? When I read the headline my first instinct was "Why would anyone do this experiment so close to the sea." When I actually saw the track I ate my own words. No one would think of Newbury as "Costal".
Fear not, sweet commentards, for our Playmonaut's mission has not ended in failure. Suitably equipped for the task, he now explores the mysteries of the ocean deeps, his survival suit and plastic resolve allowing him to brave pressures and depths that mere humans cannot withstand. He gazes out across an inky void of abyssal mountains and chasms, seeing creatures unknown to science.
Godspeed, brave aquanaut.
Not convinced that we've lost our original hero. I think there's some doppelganging at work.
I always thought there was something a bit dodgy about 'Mr Yellow'. Would our stylish all-action hero really wear something so gaudy? Did you check him for a goatee before sending him up?
How else can you explain things going so disastrously wrong if not an inside job?
I'm betting the saboteur is having a chuckle at us from his undersea volcanic lair, off the Isle of Wight, where our heroic space cadet is being held captive after imbibing a laced cocktail.
Some sort of network of volunteers - experienced sailors naturally - on the coast ready to set forth should subsequent ascents look to be heading out over the briney. And for no consideration other than the fame and glory of being part of a great endeavour. And one or more virtual (or even real) pints from Registrar readers.
Perhaps http://www.airsearescue441.com/ is available.
Shame you couldn't get some kind of Royal Charter or something...I hear one of Them is an SAR pilot. If you'd made the extra effort to get him interested in the project, maybe...oh, wait -- he's got something else on his mind right now, doesn't he?
Well, it was a good idea. Better luck next time, guys!
(and thanks for the stroy, tracking, photos, videos, etc, so we could follow along)
Congratulations on a successful flight. Commiserations on a less than successful landing.
Maybe the next version should come equipped for a watery landing. After all, you can't get a launch site much further from the sea. If the box had a weight on the bottom and a carbon fibre mast with waterproof GPS/radio, and maybe a light, at the top, the chances are that it would continue sending after splashdown, and be more visible.
..to the country of Playmobil-Funpark, a small enclave inside of Germany.
http://www.playmobil-funpark.de/en/node/201
Their postal address (they don't seem to have much of an own postal service) is:
PLAYMOBIL®-FunPark
Brandstätterstraße 2-10
90513 Zirndorf
>>>Can I suggest that the next test be launched from Coton in the Elms, Derbyshire? Just to be on the safe side...
>>>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coton_in_the_Elms
That reference says Coton in the Elms is 70 miles from water, and my estimate of the straight line distance from launch to splashdown is around 72 to 73 miles.
But it's all irrelevant anyway, you could go much more than 70 miles from both Brightwalton and Coton in the Elms and still be over dry land, it just depends which direction you go. The prediction based on a wind forecast was that it would travel south but fall well short of the coast. It didn't. Shit happens.
Could SPEARS be enhanced so that after firing the rocket on the way up it either un-reefs the existing parachute or deploys a larger one when it crosses a threshold on the way down?
I appreciate the need for a drogue to keep everything from tangling after balloon burst, but on sunday it looked like most of the ground track was covered on the way down because the parachute kept it too high for too long. Your typical Soyuz or Dragon spend quite a while falling subsonically before deploying parachutes so they don't drift out of the target area.
Hmmm, Low Altitude Parachute Delayed Opening Gadget. Every LOHAN should have a LAPDOG.
I started looking to see if I could find anything on that last night and my laptop screen died. Looks like I get myself a new one rather than a 3d printer for crimble then...
Even if the regs do require immediate deployment it could be worth going for the absolute minimum size at first and un-reefing it or popping out a second one lower down. I shall continue my search when I'm not at work and the room at home with the desktop is nice and warm.
My thought too, but I guess the ballooners have done this stuff before many times. I did notice on the map display a couple of others in the drink that day - one off Southend IIRC and one off Margate. Hope you've got enough in the kitty to refund the kit donors - that Iridium box must be worth a bob or two.
I hope you've got another intepid Playmonaut in training who hasn't just resigned...
Within the day-glo orange truss, a core of styrofoam would add almost nothing to the weight, but would float. The electronics would sink, pulling the truss upright giving you a foot or so of day-glo orange bouy bobbing in the waves and visible for a fair distance.
Gentlemen, I give you the Playmonaut Memorial Recovery System.
This post has been deleted by its author
This post has been deleted by its author
This post has been deleted by its author
>>>I was in Newbury at around the time the balloon burst and saw something that looked on fire falling out the sky. Could it have been a part of this?
Nope, the balloon was released near Newbury, it travelled a fair distance south east before it burst, and it landed in the sea 70 odd miles away, so if you saw something fall from the sky in Newbury it's just a coincidence...
the styrene box was not floating there did not look to be that much weight in it it's hard work making that stuff sink... but spotting a little box in the wide open waters, need one of those salt water powered strobes/lights in future like they use on lifejackets at least it may be visible at dawn/dusk
You mean you killed a playmobil man in this ill-advised so-called experiment and didn't even have the decency to give him a NAME?
I notice that all the people bravely keeping both feet on the ground have friendly monikers like "Dave". Only those of limited limb articulation are required to give of their all anonymously.
For shame El Reg, for shame.
One bitter morn' he set off for the skies,
The playmonauts trip planned out by the wise.
High into the air he rode his balloon,
praying the planner was not a baffoon.
Higher and higher he continued to soar,
The wind rushing by with a deafening roar.
At just the right time the balloon gave a bang,
so loud was the noise, our hero's ears rang.
As he stopped rising up and started to stall,
The parachute opened and eased up his fall.
Quickly he realised that things were not right,
The wind suddenly changed and hastened his plight.
He dropped Lower and lower as he flew futher South,
He thought of his planner with his hand over mouth.
As the coastline approached he knew it was trouble,
The speed of his plastic heart started to double.
He looked to the East and in the distance saw Brighton,
But he knew as he passed he couldn't stop fightin'.
He went further and further out over the Channel,
Wishing he packed up some soap and a flannel.
There was nothing he could do now but sit there and wait,
And as the water got closer he pondered his fate.
After what seemed like an age he finally splashed down,
And as he floated along he prayed not to drown.
Meanwhile back on the coast of old Blighty,
The panic to save him was rushed and quite mighty.
In the search for a boat Playmonauts team ran to and fro,
When finally they found the good ship Even-Flow.
They sped to the spot they last logged his flight,
Hoping their hero would be quite alright.
On the sides of the boat they were staunchly perched,
Long into the evening they searched and they searched.
No sign of their friend could any man find,
This would be a day when the gods were not kind.
Sadly they left and returned to the dock,
The pub was awaiting and to there they would flock.
They all raised their glasses to their friend lost at sea,
And then they all toasted his replacement to be.
Back in the dark as our hero looked on,
He watched the boat search and then it was gone.
He knew on this night he was now on his own,
So decided to fight on instead of just moan.
He paddled so hard his arms started to ache,
But more and more progress he started to make.
As the dawn sun came up he gave a quick glance,
In the distance was land and he knew it was France.
with safety in sight he knew he had to give more,
So with new vigour he swam ever harder to shore.
With one more big push the dry land was in reach,
so exhausted he pulled himself onto the beach.
As he lay on his back and looked up at the sun,
he sighed and he smiled as he knew he had won.
And so ends our story of a hero so bright,
Who proves it pays never to give up the fight.
Not Mafia, it's those dodgy Danes. There is some kind of Lego/Bacon faction against the SPB's brave Playmonaut.
While watching this weekend with baited breath for a happy ending, it is sad he hasn't been found...yet!
But I still hold on to the chance we'll find him living it up on a lost Tracy Island discarded many years ago into the Channel surrounded by hoards of Amazonian Playwomanuats and many a tale to tell.
> This operation is perfectly safe, although for some reason Dave decided that it would be better to photograph the action while walking backwards from the potential blast zone:
And then Dave narrowly avoids tripping over the gas cylinder lying behind him, but stands on one of the gauges, snapping it off, and gives himself nasty frost-bite on the ankle in the ensuing rapid depressurisation.
(Be thankful there's no naked flames around).
Next launch site....obviously Meriden in the Midlands. traditionally known as the center of England therefore very far from the sea.
Of course, LOHAN might get tangled up in a Boeing flying into BHX....
Anyway - what a shame! You lot must be gutted. But also time to cue "Gentlemen, we can rebuild, erm, her".
>>>Next launch site....obviously Meriden in the Midlands. traditionally known as the center of England therefore very far from the sea.
Well, no actually, that doesn't really help. On the UK mainland the furthest you can be from a coastline is about 70 miles and the LOHAN balloon went further than that, so you could still be in trouble, it all depends on where the wind takes it. If the wind had been from the south LOHAN could have gone over 200 miles due north before crossing the coast somewhere near Hartlepool. As it was the predicted path showed the flight returning to the ground well short of the south coast, so launching from that site wasn't a rash decision, but there's always a risk the wind forecasts are wrong.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
