APPLE reveals complete updated blueprints of SPACESHIP JOBS Hours after it was revealed that the completion of Apple's planned office doughnut would be delayed until at least 2016, the Cupertino city council posted revised plans for the eco-Stalinist structure, first sketched by Steve Jobs and now widely known as the "Spaceship". As The Reg had reported earlier, the city council had …
Reminds me of Nokia and British Satellite Broadcasting.
Who in Finland will want the Nokia HQ?
Pride cometh before a Fall.
There is another word too... They think they are gods but are only a consumer marketing company with 1 successful service and 2 successful products.
They could always re-jig iTunes for Linux desktop and Android?
RE:"The newly revealed plans make few changes to the main edifice that, at 2.8 million square feet, will be one of the world's most capcious office buildings, although the US Department of Defense's mega-headquarters, the Pentagon, handily bests it at 6.6 million square feet."
There is no such word as "capcious." There is a word "capacious," which is just a fancy way of saying "roomy." Then there is "captious" which means "unecessarily critical." Perhaps even proudful and vain, but there is no "capcious" or at least there has not been since we all spoke Middle English. So which did the author intend to write?
Read one way it would seem that "capacious" is what the author likely intended, but then again, Rik might have meant to write "captious" which, even Steven Jobs's friends would admit, is a descriptor that suited the man right down to the ground.
Just add prehistoric creatures and sound effects.
Or, force fields, deflector shields, navigation arrays, and a Midas Array.
Reality distortion, not Buddhist attachment, explains the missing clock divisions. A different sort of "Clockwork Orange" orchard, sans cherries.
Maybe it will be renamed as MCFC: Magnetic Concentric Fruity Collider? They may be building one helluva "Smoothie King" there.
Maybe AARPA Apple Advance Research ProTECTion Agency? Could be hiding a cosmic biofilter, cryostasis plant, and quantum slipularity or quantum singstream filter matrix, replete with biomolecular reconstitution and regeneration alcoves.
The circle is symbolic for "Unimatrix/Sector 001".... The subdivisions are distraction from the intention...
On opening day, there will be a sigh stating, "You will be assimilated... YOU Will "Service" USSSSS!" in ALL senses of the word...
And they are leveling an entire neighborhood to do this! This won't be cheap. From the picture you figure that there are tons of mature old trees there already, not so. It's full of buildings and parking lots, all of which must go. See what google map shows is there now: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Homestead+Rd+%26+N+Wolfe+Rd,+Birdland+Neighbors,+Santa+Clara,+California+95014&hl=en&ll=37.332136,-122.011306&spn=0.012489,0.022295&sll=37.6,-95.665&sspn=50.224048,91.318359&t=h&geocode=FXW6OQId_DW6-A&hnear=Homestead+Rd+%26+N+Wolfe+Rd,+Birdland+Neighbors,+Santa+Clara,+California&z=16
Maybe the trees will produce prunes with ridges?
Oh, wait... I should say "California RAISINS", lol....
It would be unfortunate if from aerial views the finished building looke like an organic discharge port, considering trees and fruits. I imagine marcom and legal have these covered...
Makes me think of the massive Shanghai constrction sites i saw...
Just house the construction workers there... Less time and fewer wages and faster construction timetables due to onsite labor. But, will Foxconn provide? 'merkun and even Mexican labor might be too expensive, despite "no expense spared" being claimed...
The first name I thought of on seeing the plans was Albert Speer. Stalinist architecture for all its size was mean and brutal. It seemed to me always to reflect the insecurity and paranoia of that particular nutjob.
Speer's work, on the other hand, was confident and full of the grandeur of those who know they are the chosen people.
I'll have to make do with the only nazi icon available.
I just want to point out that this design is a direct rip off of my US Patent for a square building with rounded sides such that it forms a circle. Where do I lodge my claim? It may also breach my US Patent for a circular structure for the housing of fanbois and their keepers/feeders.
I'm thinking that the design is reminiscent of a certain 1970's album by ELO....
Could old Steve have been getting on the bong when he designed this? Distant memories of slacker heaven storm his brain.... BANG! ELO cover made REAL!
Groovy!
Anonymous, because I don't want to admit that I'm THAT old....
I'm sure the cellars will hold torture devices, shark tanks, fanbois converted to supersoldiers kept under control by permanent morphine injection (until the time is right), finger-of-god orbiting laser platforms in their launch tubes, large meditation spaces with transdimensional prayer mills and saunas full of eager females.
jobs_gendo_pose.jpg
Those are grave markers for all the good ideas that went to Apple to die a horrible, lingering death by minimalist brushed aluminium and skeuomorphic UI design.
Apart from that, it looks quite nice. If you look closely you can see the iJobs glass booth where a projection appears ever year to steer the company ever onwards, like a turtlenecked Hari Seldon.
Would be even cooler if it was an actual spaceship though.
Just 3 GBU-31 2000 Lb. JDAM bombs nosefused for Airbursts would do the job. One on both the north/south, and a third in their pond. The middle of the building might not collapse. It also might. Only so much you can do from the Air.
4800 PSI tends to do the trick when it comes to shattering stuff, use of the GBU-82 or GBU-43 is just overkill. Tactical nuke might actually be cheaper, monetarily anyway, and hell, it might be plausibly denied. I can see the headlines already ("iNuke project spirals out of control, vaporizes Cupertino")
Tallboy and the building falls neatly into the hole leaving the skyline clear.
the SABS could deliver an accuracy of about 85 metres which should be accurate enough
or "Bomb, Medium Capacity, 22,000 lb" (you may know it better as Grandslam) to be sure of the job
When companies are screwing the customer or anyone else (tax avoidance for example) e get treated to the old 'maximise shareholders value" chestnut, they don't really want to be immoral they are forced to do it. Then someone wants a nice new shiny HQ and suddenly you don't have to worry about the cheapest way to do it....hmmmmm
I think apple is just taking advantage of the california cannibus laws. You can't go under when you have the largest grow site in the state. Since its inclosed and secured it makes getting busted much more difficult.
Plus it would definitely increase their profit margins. You've gotta keep your hippies happy and creative somehow.
It depends on how its designed.
They could make the interior very large. By adding floors, they add that much more floorspace.
Not that huge really, the Pentagon's total length is 28.2 km and has 6.5 million square feet of Floor space. I had the unfortunate luck of having to work there for awhile, and its a huge building. When you're being told to go from say (and Im making this up, the numbering system is the same though) C-325 to E-518, first, you know you're probably in trouble (brass lives in the E Ring usually) and you know its a long damned walk ahead. There are five rings, (plus two basement "rings") and five floors in each ring there. I know Apple is planning four Floors, but I have no idea about rings or how they'll otherwise setup corridors.
The Apple building as planned is only about a third of the size, at 2.8 million square feet, so its not unlimited space, but it is indeed quite a bit.
aka get fucked with discreet whine of tree-strapped, camo-masked cameras, while 50,000 apples are watching you.
p.s. given the couple sharing the idyllic view just had to be is a white woman and a black man, to underline the inherent diversity of blah blah blah, the one walking away must be... oh dear, I can't even think...
Good luck getting Cupertino to approve miles of fencing along the property line. The look of Silicon Valley tech parks is open landscaping with no fences. Private gardens are created in the spaces between secured buildings, like the inside area of apple's space donut. Only industrial buildings and the top-secret stuff up the road have fences on the property line. (People with huge piles of stock options don't ignore trespassing strangers so the lack of a fence doesn't make sneaking in the back entrance any easier.)
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