Swedish woman cuffed for sex with skeleton SHOCKER

A 37-year-old Swedish woman has been charged with "violating the peace of the dead" after allegedly using human skeletal remains for "sexual gratification". The unnamed boner-lover was cuffed back in September by cops investigating a report of a gunshot at her Gothenburg apartment. Shaken officers "immediately called for back- …

[TeeCee]

"violating the peace of the dead"

Is that a mistranslation? The rest of the article would seem to suggest it should be "violating a piece of the dead".

[LinkOfHyrule]

Re: "violating the peace of the dead"

Talk about rest in piece(s)!

[LinkOfHyrule]

Tip for budding criminals

Do not film your crimes, burn the footage to DVD and then label the discs "My Drug Dealing" or "My First Ponzi Scheme" or "My Necrophilia"....

It just makes it too easy for the cops if they raid your apartment!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Tip for budding criminals

My Little Ponzi

[Thomas 4]

I look forward to the Hollywood version

...with "Bad to the Bone" as its theme song.

[Nigel Brown]

Re: I look forward to the Hollywood version

Or something by Elvis the Pelvis.

[dssf]

Re: I look forward to the Hollywood version

I look to the Bollywood version. And, wouldn't hurt to have a Riverdance version. Not sure i wanna see a Reaverdance version unless Mal, Zoe, and Jayne are guarding my perimeter.

[FartingHippo]

So...

Which end of the femur did she use? Inquiring minds need to know.

(and seriously, am I really the first to use this icon? poor show, commentards)

[greenawayr]

Don't believe a word she says...

...she's a fibula

[2FishInATank]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

I find this humerus.

[teebie]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

Oi! If you two don't behave yourselves I'll be having some very sternum words with you

[wowfood]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

Maybe she just wanted a man with a large coccyx

[Huw D]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

Let this be a warning to you. If you try to be hip it'll tibia over the edge...

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

Now she faces the lumbaring wheels of justice...

[Steven Raith]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

That's what happens once you're collared - you're boned.

(apologies)

[YARR]

So the IT angle is...

... it involves something digit-al.

[Martin Huizing]

This story really...

...made my funny-bone tingle!

Paris: Never been a more righteous bone in her!

[dssf]

Re: So the IT angle is...

And, backboned and rack serv hers, too. Pick a Top ology...

[Quinch]

Re: Don't believe a word she says...

Auuggghh!!

Knuckle! Knuckle!

[David Webb]

Something must have happened in her past, but, well, we all have skeletons in our closet.......

[Rob]

Your right we do...

... but I don't pull the skeletons out of my cupboard and insert them into various orifices.

[Bertie D'astard]

Bet she gets a right ribbing ..

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh, I don't know

As long as she's attractive, would you mind getting some after your death?

[Valeyard]

Re: Oh, I don't know

wouldn't mind getting some after my marriage

[Andus McCoatover]

Re: Oh, I don't know

"wouldn't mind getting some after my marriage or death"

Thought the only difference was that the CSA didn't come after you after the latter. Oh, wait....

[Richard Scratcher]

Re: Oh, I don't know

Attractive? She's probably a bit of a dog.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Oh, I don't know

Well then, are you registered as an organ donor?

[Paul Hovnanian]

Geoff Peterson

Now we know what Geoff does when he's no co-hosting with Craig Ferguson.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Peterson

[Big_Ted]

I would say my jaw dropped when I read this, but I realised it was someone elses......

[perlcat]

A guy just can't win.

Spend your whole life trying not to stick it in the crazy, and the crazy sticks your bone in her anyway.

[John70]

"A fine or up to 2 years"... not much of a stiff sentence.

[candyman76]

You People

You people are killing me!

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: You People

Don't bust a rib laughing! They're just doing what they say in show business: break a leg!

[ManiK67]

I'm sure no arm will come of it!

[JayBizzle]

Adds new meaning...

to the term "receiving head"

[GrahamT]

All together now...

The foot bone's connected to the ankle bone,

The ankle bone's connected to the leg bone,

The leg bone's inserted in the lady parts,

Now hear the word of the law!

[Martin Huizing]

Re: All together now...

You kind Sir, just made my day!

[Thomas 4]

Re: All together now...

*applauds*

[Anonymous Coward]

I may never be able to call it a boner again.....

[hexx]

LOL!!!!

[Concrete Cowboy]

I guess she got fingered by the long arm of the law.

[tractor_saint]

Head, shoulders, knees and moans

[frank ly]

I was going to make a serious comment ..

.. about the self imposed emotional prison of fetishism, sexual dysfunction and social alienation ....... then I remembered where I am.

[Dick Emery]

Re: I was going to make a serious comment ..

What a numbskull.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I was going to make a serious comment ..

@frank ly That would be more poignant if you weren't wearing a gimp suit.

[Lord Voldemortgage]

What was the noise?

Was is a gunshot?

[Fink-Nottle]

I knew him, Horatio ...

a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath

borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how

abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: I knew him, Horatio ...

God bless you, sir, for not writing "I knew him well".

[Old Handle]

Whoa?!

Did anyone look at the pictures?

Note: I'm almost sure these are all legal in the UK.

[Anonymous Coward]

Cuffed? Easy...

just claim she was rapped. Shouldn't be a problem in Sweden. I bet the dude didn't put on a condom.

[Not That Andrew]

Re: Cuffed? Easy...

Rap may be terrible music, but I'm pretty sure it isn't a crime, even in Sweden.

[Pastafarian]

Re: Cuffed? Easy...

Surely it was the skeleton that was cuffed. (As in collar and cuffs)

Seriously though, I dont see how this is a crime. If the bones were obtained legally what is the problem.

Will there be court cases next for raping a vacuum cleaner?

[tractor_saint]

TBH she hasn't got a leg to stand (or sit) on

[John H Woods]

Tony Chestnut

[mhoulden]

"Swedish woman cuffed for sex with skeleton"

But will it stand up in court?

[rcorrect]

End of the world?

So many up votes and only 1 down vote? Am I really seeing this? "IT?" because someone always complains when there isn't an IT angle...

...or is there? >.>

<.<

[Johan Bastiaansen]

Re: End of the world?

The IT angle is: well, it's a Swedish woman.

[Vladimir Plouzhnikov]

Re: End of the world?

IT angle: If you just looked at the pictures you'd have seen a box from an external HDD right next to the bones.

[Huw D]

Re: End of the world?

It's in bootnotes. No IT angle required. Maybe people are getting used to it.

[Anonymous Coward]

They walk amongst us...

To think that very disturbed people like this walk amongst us is frightening.

[Rob]

Re: They walk amongst us...

This is quite tame compared to some of the nutjobs out there, thankfully you have heard of those yet then otherwise you'd be scared to death (literally) and we al know what happens to you after your dead....

[Old Handle]

Re: They walk amongst us...

I'm not worried because I'm not dead... Come to think of it I wouldn't worry if I were dead either.

[Anonymous Coward 101]

Maybe she just fancied a little necromance in her life?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093608/?mode=desktop

[veti]

'... bits of which she used as sex toys in an "unethical" manner. '

I'm wondering if there's an "ethical" manner to use bits of skeletons as sex toys. Maybe if you got the person to sign some sort of permission while they were still alive...?

'... initial suspicions of murderous foul play later gave way to the realisation of something rather more macabre.'

What does it say about us, that getting it on with a femur is regarded as more macabre than 'murderous foul play'?

[Anonymous Coward]

Excellent bone jokes!

LOL!

[dssf]

Is she "certifiable"?

Possibly a bona fide certifiable. She's a few bones apart from a Napolean, non? I wonder if she used arsenic on the deceased...

Say, looks like she invented a bona fide, new form of "Swedish Erotica". If her name were Lisa, this one probably was "moanin'" quite a bit.

[Anonymous Coward]

Having sex with swedes is like shagging a corpse anyway.

Move along: Nothing to see here.

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you boil the turnip first, or was it raw?

[Pete the not so great]

I heard that some girls like older men...

but this is taking it a little far.

[Smig]

Were the bones fresh from the morgue or had they been soiled?

[Anonymous Coward]

Her lawyers will have a bone to pick with the prosecution.