back to article 35 US states petition for secession – on White House website

One week after a deeply divided US re-elected Barack Obama as its 44th president, citizens unhappy with that outcome are using the White House's own We the People website to create petitions promoting the secession of 35 of the country's 50 states. The Obama adminstration set up the website in September 2011 with the goal of …


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  1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Can we have one ?

    For English independence from Scotland ?

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: English independence from Scotland ?

      That would have the added advantage that Scotland would retain the UK's EU membership, UN security council seat and nuclear weapons.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Can we have one ?

      No need, they want to leave us anyway, just make sure they leave us the Nukes & the Oil...

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      White v Hispanic and Black

      By 2025 they claim that the US will have a white minority. The influx of so many Hispanic people and their higher birth rate will change the balance of the country forever. In some parts of the US only Spanish is spoken as there is no need to speak English.

      Could the country split along these racial lines?

      Will there be a vote to change the national language to Spanish?

      By 2050 that may be the case.

      1. Joe Drunk

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Typical AC grey matter-disadvantaged racist. AC because you're afraid to get downvoted and if it weren't for the internet you wouldn't know anything about the outside world.

        If you had ever completed education past the third grade and didn't look to family reunions as potential hookup time you would remember that this country is supposed to be the largest melting pot in the world.

      2. Bakunin

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        "The influx of so many Hispanic people and their higher birth rate will change the balance of the country forever. In some parts of the US only Spanish is spoken as there is no need to speak English."

        An influx of foreigners into the Americas you say? Possible extinction of the native language you say?

        Surely this is unprecedented! Its ancient culture and traditions must be saved.

        1. henrydddd
          Thumb Down

          Re: White v Hispanic and Black

          This is a bunch of bull. When I lived in San Francisco in the 50's, I could survive by speaking only Chinese. America was founded on immigrations and 'French Towns', 'German towns' and other communities where native languages were only spoken and the US survived. This is about hatred for a President solely because he is black! I remember in the 50's people used to say, 'I have a lot of black friends, but I would not want my sister to marry one --- or have a black president'

          1. Tom 13

            Re: White v Hispanic and Black

            No, the crap is coming from you. I grew up in one of those "German" towns. Back in the day the paper was in German. But it didn't last long that way because those Germans wanted to Americans not Germans. So they learned English, and now it is what they all speak. That's what's missing today: no melting in the pot.

            And if think a group that voted 71% for Romney is racists, what about the group that voted 100% for The Big 0? Sounds a hell of a lot more racist to me. I've seen reports we have 56 precincts in PA with that level of racism.

      3. gromm

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Wow. He's assuming that the US has an official language.

      4. Notas Badoff

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        @21:35 Last week someone reminded me that at one point ~100 years ago, the majority of people in the USA had descent from Germans. (At least one parent or grandparent from German lands)

        So... sprechen Sie Deutsche? Nur Englisch? Ah, I see why "English only" is so important to you.

      5. asdf

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Well if you want a sea of white people as far as the eye can see you can always immigrate to eastern part of Germany or most of Northern Europe (UK in many parts aside) for that matter. No need to have the attitude the US is in uncharted waters though. Its very likely your great grandfather put a no Irish allowed sign in his store window long ago.

      6. Eddy Ito

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Hey AC, you need to get out more if for no other reason than to learn the difference between race, ethnicity and ancestry.

        Your "influx" dribble is easily dismissed since Asia sends a whopping 0.1% fewer people to the U.S. than the rest of the Americas. To put it in perspective the difference in only 1700 people and they could simultaneously be housed one to a room in the Hilton Hawaiian Village in Honolulu and half the hotel rooms would be empty. That many people wouldn't occupy a third of the rooms in the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Besides, most folks would do well to learn a second language whether it's English, Spanish, Chinese or whatever.

        In the end, here in the US it's all based on how people perceive themselves and given the ever increasing number of people marking two or more on the census it's pretty much going to be an exercise in futility for the demographic number crunchers come 2050 as fewer and fewer folks care or even keep track.

        1. Danny Bowman

          Re: White v Hispanic and Black

          >Hey AC, you need to get out more if for no other reason than to learn the difference between race, ethnicity and


          >learn a second language whether it's English, Spanish, *Chinese* or whatever

          Perhaps you need to get out and learn the difference between ethnicity and language?

          1. Eddy Ito

            Re: White v Hispanic and Black

            "Perhaps you need to get out and learn the difference between ethnicity and language?"

            Sorry Danny did you want me to break it out by how it's spoken even though I didn't say learn to speak a different language? Oh, do you actually believe that newspapers in Hong Kong come in Mandarin and Cantonese editions? LOL.

      7. Shannon Jacobs

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Actually, the real problem is that the WASP males are already a minority. They are also shrinking and increasingly divided against themselves. Actually, ever since the women got the franchise the WASP males were a minority, and probably not even a plurality.

        However, the internal division is what is really killing them in a political sense. There are lots of white people who do NOT feel entitled to claim superiority by the accident of their birth. I'm not saying that it's the only base of Romney's support, but I think that it puts an absolute ceiling of 60% (of the white voters) on it. In other words, the more than 40% of the whites who voted for President Obama obviously could not have had his skin color as their #1 criterion for making their decision. When you do the math, the racists are a minority and a shrinking minority, and I don't think they have much chance of recruiting to their cause.

        Yet I'm troubled by the increasingly bizarre disguises they are putting on things. Did you know that most voters preferred Democratic Party candidates over the neo-GOP for the House? And yet the Representatives will be only 47% from the DP. It's mostly a combination of gerrymandering and dark money from extremist conservatives seeking to increase their personal wealth.

        The Founding Fathers wanted the House to be responsive to the voters. You have to laugh for the sadness.

        1. Eddy Ito

          Re: White v Hispanic and Black

          "Did you know that most voters preferred Democratic Party candidates over the neo-GOP for the House?"

          Not surprising, all it takes in a two district state is for one district to go 90%D/10%R and the other to go 20%D/80%R. Assuming the districts are exactly equal in voter count that makes the whole state 55%D/45%R but representation is 50/50. Now then, if we use the Presidential election just past as a guideline the national split is 50.6%D, 47.8%R and 1.6% other. We already know the House vote was 49%D, 48.2%R and 2.8% other. Sorry but that whole 0.8% difference is hardly a cause to break out the evil R conspiracy theory. It isn't a perfect system and differences in state populations mean the districts don't get to all be exactly the same size. It's a purple country regardless of what you read on Kos.

          As for gerrymandering, don't kid yourself into thinking it's a single party plot as both parties play that game very well and frequently do it with the approval of most of the citizenry. Or don't you think the DP in the above example wouldn't want to redistrict the state so both districts had a 55/45 split even if it meant some creative curves to the district lines regardless of what the voters think?

          1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: White v Hispanic and Black

            As for gerrymandering, don't kid yourself into thinking it's a single party plot as both parties play that game very well and frequently do it with the approval of most of the citizenry.

            Indeed, it's one of our (the US's) oldest political traditions; Elbridge Gerry (for whom the practice is named[1]) was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence. (I spent a good chunk of my childhood in Gerry's home town, and this sort of thing came up in local-history class.) The word was only coined in the early 19th century, but it was the first generation of US politicians who started the practice.

            [1] Gerry presided over an inventive redistricting of Massachusetts, prompting a local newspaper to coin the term. He can't really be said to have invented the practice, though, since it was undoubtedly a party effort, and inspired by various malapportionment tricks long used in the UK and elsewhere.

      8. henrydddd

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        This has nothing to do with Hispanics, it all about a Black man being President. That is something that these traitors cannot handle. Many of these witless morons live in the same town where I live in. I know a little about what they think. They cannot live with a black leading America. They should be charged with treason and jailed. The US Civil war settled this kinds of thought. If you notice, there are many states that Obama won who are working on this petition. This is an indicator that the conservative house of representatives has no intention of working with Obama or the Democrats. There only goal is to get Obama out of office!!!!!!

      9. Mr_Bungle

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Would these people be demanding secession if Mitt Romeny had won? No of course not, their God, Guns, Cross Burning, Tea-Bagging fruit loop agenda would of been followed.

        Obama won, grow up and get over it.

      10. The Jase

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        Sweet evil Jesus, the old "dey is outbrreding uz" gambit.

        *rolls eyes*

      11. Ken Hagan Gold badge

        Re: White v Hispanic and Black

        "In some parts of the US only Spanish is spoken as there is no need to speak English."

        In mitigation of this coming crisis, perhaps I should point out that if *everyone* only speaks the *same* foreign language in 2050, no-one will care.

    4. Joe Cooper

      @White v Hispanic and Black

      There is no national language. A lot of government materials are available in Spanish. The main split I could see is along political lines – this whole red state, blue state thing – but the problem with that is that most states are essentially purple; the redness comes from the winner-take-all voting system where a state's red on the map if the Republican won 55:45 or something.

      In any case, the main line of tension seems to be conservative / liberal and racial lines are extremely secondary. Even a hypothetical succession of Texas wouldn't see all the blacks getting kicked out or enslaved or anything of the sort.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @White v Hispanic and Black

        The secession of Texas would be funny to watch, simply because they wouldn't be expecting the Mexican invasion. Those Mexican gangs are ruthless, wouldn't say no to a new US border without a fence and well... Texas was theirs anyway...

        1. JEDIDIAH

          Re: @White v Hispanic and Black

          > because they wouldn't be expecting the Mexican invasion

          Are you kidding? It's Texas. The Drug Lords would be outgunned just by the Boffins.

        2. Fatman

          Re: secession of Texas

          Would accomplish one sure thing - it would get rid of that plaintiff friendly court.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: @White v Hispanic and Black

        But if there was an hispanic majority and Spanish did become popular wouldn't you have to rename a lot of towns and states/cities?

        What would you call California, Nevada, LA, ElPaso, San Diego, SF etc ?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Independence for Scotland?

      The only difference being that instead of George Osborne in charge of printing your currency it'll be Wolfgang Schäuble and they both do exactly what the IMF tells them ...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Excuse me, I must...

    Excuse me, I must go outside and fart upwind. It will have more impact upon the world than these petitions do.

    The whole "We The People" petition program is a gigantic waste of time. It's only purpose is to allow the administration a chance to practice being on message for every one of the petitions raised. There is more chance that the after-effects of that last burrito I had will have a measurable impact on the administration policy than any of those petitions ever will - the administration has shown that over and over again.

    Moreover, those petitions SHOULD NOT have any impact. Online petitions are too easy - there is too much chance for people to support something while being spectacularly ignorant of the cost (so long as that cost is born by somebody else).

    When the people of those various stated go forth, collect the needed signatures of registered voters, put the issue on a public ballot in their states, get the public to vote for its acceptance, and put that to the Federal government will I give more than a puff of methane in the breeze.

    1. Greg J Preece

      Re: Excuse me, I must...

      Indeed, and the petition site has the usual get-out clause that all government petition sites do; we don't have to respond if we don't want to.

      How many of the petitions on the UK gov site have actually resulted in action? Same as any other attempt at real democracy, I'm guessing.

  3. Martin 47

    Bet Obama is rubbing his hands with glee at the thought of getting rid of texas

    1. ThomH

      On the contrary; the Republican Party got just 25% of the Hispanic vote this year. Hence if current population growth patterns continue and neither party changes rhetoric then Texas will be a swing state by 2020.

      Democrats therefore probably don't want secession. In practice none of us should want secession because keeping Texas in the union is the most likely way to bring the Republican party back towards the centre, and it's helpful to everyone when the most economically and militarily powerful nation on earth has moderate leadership.

      1. Aoyagi Aichou

        "[...]most economically and militarily powerful nation on earth[...]"

        All I can see now are bald eagles, stars and stripes, rednecks and McDonald's.

    2. Ed Vim

      I see this whole matter as yet another Tea Party style waste of time that pushes real issues out of public debate.

      That said, if some states like Texas were to actually secede from the United States they would find life to be really hard -- almost all the conservative-leaning states have been a long-term net loss when it comes to what they contribute vs funds/resources they receive on a Federal level. Basically, they're all acting like teenagers wanting to move out of the house because want to act like, well teenagers. Once Mom and Dad aren't around to pay the bills, the world starts to look a lot different.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        How so? We (Texas) won't have to keep the illegals around, we can kick them out with ease. Also, produce around half of the gasoline for the US. We would have a great export; an export that would have a nice "tax" on it. We don't need Mom and Dad; we have a successful business model.

        Also, how much stuff comes from Mexico or Latin America? Quite a bit and I can't see everything going through the other states to bypass Texas.

        Who is paying the bills for the Obama administration? Right now, he has maxed the credit card out.

        1. Esskay

          The "illegals"

          are sadly effectively used as slave labour - why you'd kick them out is beyond me, considering they keep production costs down and allow average americans to live a much higher standard of life than if they had to pay the "illegals" a decent wage. Not to mention border patrol required to kick them out immediately becomes Texas' problem - and the US won't be too happy if you don't do your neighbourly duty and stop them from entering the US.

          Whilst Texas produces a lot of oil, the US has been making a concerted effort to reduce reliance on foreign oil - and Texas' secession would result in your oil being just as foreign as the Saudis (although from the tone of your post I'm guessing they'd be much nicer to deal with).

          What "stuff" from Mexico or Latin America are you referring to? apart from the "illegals" I'd say Texas relies on US companies a lot more than the US relies on Texan companies - all goods distribution channels are US owned companies - I'm sure if Texas decided to increase the price of oil above what the US feels like paying on a given day, or tried to prevent goods travelling through Texas, the US could turn Texas into a starving little dustbowl fairly easily.

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Shannon Jacobs

          As a born Texan who is NOT afraid to put his name on his opinions, let me note...

          That not all Texans are like that racist fool with the coward tag. Probably a fake troll from... From... I'm trying to think of a state that has more fools than Texas, but I seem to be coming up short.

          I'm not saying that all of my opinions are perfect. I make some mistakes and learn from them (hopefully), but everything's bigger in Texas, including the biggest fools. Sad to say that another one of my opinions is that I'm rather glad not to live there now. That's even allowing for my having lived in some of the best parts of the state, too... You don't want to imagine what the armpits are like.

          1. Fatman

            Re: From... I'm trying to think of a state that has more fools than Texas

            Florida would be a good choice there!!!!

            Just take a hard look at its Governor and a large part of its Legislature. All members of a certain political party that preaches (R) "family values".

            Just today, its Thief Executive (aka P.Rick Scott) made an about face.

            Previously, he was dead set against ObamaCare and his shit headed (R family value carrying) friends in the state Legislature made all kinds of noise and instituted a fluster of legal action (courtesy of state AG BlondiBondi) in order to get ObamaCare over turned.

            They lost.

            The amendment those R family value carrying members of the Tea Party foisted onto the ballot in an attempt to outlaw cooperation WRT ObamaCare failed to pass.

            They put an amendment on the ballot under the title of "Religious Freedom"; which, if passed wouid have torn down the restrictions on using public funds for religious schools. That one failed to pass.

            His R family value friends tried the typical R family value voter suppression tricks, but those failed. People waited as much as 7 hours (in Miami/Dade County) in order to cast a vote

            Well, I guess the reality of the election finally hit him right in the face; now he is willing to "talk" to the Feds.

            Lastly, in one of its more populous counties (Pinellas), 2 of 4 county commissioners who previously voted to end adding fluoride to the water system; got VOTED OUT OF OFFICE. One of the other two now is talking out the other side of his ass.

            I could not make this shit up, even if I tried. See what I mean:



            For more amusement, this guy is in it hip deep, all of the back room deals those R family value politicians have made over the years may finally see the light of day:


            And of course, the Supervisor of Elections for this county can't seem to do the job properly, either:


            And, with respect to well publicized voting problems, it seems that the state's administration is also talking out of both sides of its ass:


        4. veti Silver badge

          Texas is the only consistently-Red state that could theoretically pay its way independently of the federal government. I say "theoretically", because that calculation doesn't take account of the indirect subsidies Texas enjoys in the form of US defense contracts and army bases.

          (Of course, most of the state's real wealth comes from the distinctly-liberal-leaning big cities - Houston, Dallas, San Antonio.)

          Some Texans think oil would see them through, which is an incredibly shortsighted view. Oil won't last forever. And even while it does, you don't want to live in a 'country' where one decent hurricane could wipe out your exports for six months.

      2. airdrummer
        Thumb Up

        hell, throw the bastards out;-)

        gr8 piece 2day on exactly that:

        Red states receive, on average, far more from the federal government in expenditures than they pay in taxes. The balance is the opposite in blue states. The secession petitions, therefore, give the opportunity to create what would be, in a fiscal sense, a far more perfect union.

  4. Number6

    Invite them back

    We could always invite them back into the British Empire.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Invite them back

      Fuck no, have you seen the state of those concerned?

      Either watch Fox or try this guy:

      We have enough mental midgets of our own, we don't need to import more.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Invite them back

        I agree with AC above... You REALLY don't want those stated. I doubt the US is too thrilled to have them, for that matter...

      2. Christoph

        Re: Invite them back

        "Either watch Fox or try this guy:"

        That's not a loony.This is a loony.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Invite them back

          No, that's just garden variety misogyny, the GOP is full of that. Far less impressively and unusually barking than Captain America above :)

      3. Anonymous Coward

        I hope Eric Dondero moves to Tunbridge Wells

        He'd be a fine successor to the proverbial "Times" letter writer "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" - a little punchier and more to the point. Just imagine his current analysis:

        America died yesterday. It's over. There's no coming back.

        236 years of history gone in one single day and night.

        SPARE ME YOU'RE FUCKING GOOD TIDINGS YOU CONSERVATIVES. This is a castrophe for libertarians and conservatives. The worst of our lifetimes.

        The Nazis and Communists have just seized control of the United States of America, and you fuckers are trying to convince me it ain't that bad!

        but instead focussed on the shock decision by the "Britain in Bloom" committee to award first prize to Tewksbury.

      4. Naughtyhorse

        Re: Invite them back


        Top nutjob!

        When is his show on Fox?

        let em seceede i say, i seem to recall there was a similar problem back in the 1850's where the blue states wanted to behave like civilised human beings (ish) and the reds rebelled.

        <pauses to wink theatrically at camera>

        how did that whole thing work out for them then?

        let em go, the immediate loss of the dead weight on the us economy will see GDP growth in double figures by next year.

    2. g e

      Re: Invite them back

      No thanks.

    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Invite them back

      Or to France

      Do you think they kept the receipt for the Louisianna purchase? They could swap the south for store credit.

  5. lotus49

    Say no to magic underwear

    Like most (but I recognise not absolutely all) people outside the US, I much prefer Obama to some looney would be plutocrat who wears magic underwear so I was pleased at Obama's decisive victory.

    However, what I am much more pleased about is reading the lamentations of Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh and a 1001 other Republican cry babies. You lost, tough luck. That is how the democratic process (which you all supported two weeks ago) works.

    If the inaptly named GOP doesn't realise that bigotry is no longer fashionable, they will consign themselves to history. What a great shame.

    1. NomNomNom

      Re: Say no to magic underwear

      Interesting number of downvoters. All the climate stories must be attracting the US right

      1. Notas Badoff

        Re: Say no to magic underwear

        Oh dear, you rather missed the religious bigotry in the above, didn't you?

        1. JEDIDIAH

          Re: Say no to magic underwear

          I thought this whole election was a riot. Romney was basically a closet case. It all reminded me of when I was forced to go to church when I was younger. It was an evangelical congregation and they did things like propagate anti-Mormon propaganda videos.

          ....really made me think about Beghazi. Wondered if Romney would ever have the balls for a "I know how you guys feel, really" kind of moment.

          Magic underwear is just the tip of the iceberg.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          GOP was banking on bigotry ..

          "Oh dear, you rather missed the religious bigotry in the above, didn't you?"

          What 'religious bigotry', they do indeed posses magic underwear. Presumably it makes it so difficult to take off, by the time you've climbed out of it you've lost the urge. It is telling that they couldn't find a suitable candidate in the Protestant community. What ever else Romney possessed, the Republican Party was banking on him attracting the Caucasian vote, the 53% that weren't poor-white, hispanic or black. In that regard they totally misread the current younger American electorate. And finally folks, here's Christopher Hitchens take on Mormonism.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Sore Losers

    See title.

  7. Nick Gisburne

    Children, children!

    We lost so we don't want to play any more. Boo hoo.

  8. Steve Knox

    This is the demographic the Republican Party courts

    Those who, when they don't get exactly what they want*, don't even try to compromise; they just want to take their ball** and go home.

    * Regardless of how detrimental what they want is to them and to the country as a whole. Regardless of the fact that much of what they want is impossible, or at least self-contradictory.

    ** Actually not their ball, but everyone's ball. But don't try to tell them they only get one 300 millionth of the ball. As far as they are concerned, each and every one of them owns the whole damned ball.

    1. Christoph

      Re: This is the demographic the Republican Party courts

      Well, back in I think it was 2004 there were Democrats suggesting that several left-leaning states should join Canada.

      But it was at most semi-serious, and never got anywhere near starting petitions.

    2. gromm

      Re: This is the demographic the Republican Party courts

      The Republican party's published, long-term strategies are to make the population utterly apathetic to the political process (thus the filibustering of everything, to ensure that government doesn't function at all), ensuring that only the crazies will vote, and to secure the crazy vote.

      I'm pretty sure there's also a plan to increase the number of crazies in the first place. See also: Fox "news".

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This is the demographic the Republican Party courts

      Balls, you say?

  9. Alan Esworthy

    Talk about failure to comprehend!

    "A few counter-secession petitions have been started as well, including one that calls for deportation of signers of secessionist petitions, and another that suggests they should be stripped of their citizenship and exiled."

    Let's see now. The signers of the secession petitions want not to be physically or politically in the U.S.A. So the counter-proposal is to make them physically and politically no longer in the U.S.A.

    Epic reading comprehension FAIL.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Re: Talk about failure to comprehend!

      So, deporting them would give them exactly what they want, no? :)

      1. ThomH

        Re: Talk about failure to comprehend! (@Christopher Michaelis)

        Yes, until they find themselves in a country with nationalised healthcare like, ummm, pretty much all of them.

    2. Corinne

      Re: Talk about failure to comprehend!

      "The signers of the secession petitions want not to be physically or politically in the U.S.A. So the counter-proposal is to make them physically and politically no longer in the U.S.A"

      The difference is that the original petitioners want their entire State to no longer be part of the USA - Democrats, Republicans & neutrals. The counter petitions are for the individual people to be removed

    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Talk about failure to comprehend!

      What are the plans for Scots when Scotland leaves ?

      Especially if someone vetoed their joining the eu

  10. SirDigalot

    i say let em

    why not? got lots of popcorn, and besides we can't or won't start a pew-pew fight in another country right now may as well start one here...

    besides it will cull the herd a bit (meself included I doubt I would last 5 minutes when hell comes to town wearing pink underwear) could possibly distract the rest of the world long enough for something good to happen, or at least bolster some foreign economies selling arms to one or both sides.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Remember the USSR?

    Whatever happened to them?

    The cracks are appearing...

    1. NomNomNom

      Re: Remember the USSR?

      Not even the same league table. Remember that wall the USSR built in berlin I went and see it and it is rubbish most of it has fallen down and it was really small much smaller than the wall the chinese built 1000s years ago. So while the USSR were having trouble propping up a small wall the US were landing on the moon. So yeah not the same league tables.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge


        1) Technically, it was the German Democratic Republic wot build it

        2) It was meant to keep people IN (nominally to protect "against fascism", completely ignoring that the actual fascists were the communist concentration camp survivors now in charge)

        3) The Great Wall is not a "wall" at all, more like a strudel of defense positions built over 1500 years

        4) It was meant to keep people OUT (not a large success though)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We learned our lesson

    So this time, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We learned our lesson


      What a waste the civil war was. We should have let those traitors go to hell. But now they are back again, so we have to deal with them.

      Send them to the garden spot of the universe, Afghanistan!

  13. Blake St. Claire

    Skyfall, rats in a barrel

    WRT the petitions to deport the signers of the secession petitions, we don't have anywhere to deport them too. Who, after all, wants a few million cry baby losers? The rest of us endured them for the eight years the Shrub was in office, now they're unhappy that the shoe is on the other foot? Boo hoo.

    But after seeing Skyfall, I have an idea – let's put them all on ships anchored 100K off the coast with no food. We'll check back in a couple weeks and see what, if anything, is left.

    1. Christoph

      Re: Skyfall, rats in a barrel

      "we don't have anywhere to deport them too"

      Move them to Upton Park, they'll feel right at home.

      (For the non-Brits, Upton Park station is two stops short of Barking.)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Skyfall, rats in a barrel

        Barking, as in woof, woof (or as in Swedish nef, nef)? Yes Swedish dogs do bark in Swedish!

    2. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Skyfall, rats in a barrel

      Sure is liberal in here.

    3. Blake St. Claire

      Re: Skyfall, rats in a barrel

      Wow, four down votes.

      Nobody has a sense of humor I guess.

  14. MissingSecurity

    It's telling...

    That not even FOX NEWS has this in plain site. It's hard to be the "patriotic" network when all your viewers are acting pretty disgraceful. I hope the GOP at least has the integrity to tell these twats off, but judging by their history probably not.

    Bunch of bigots and racists, really. It sucks being American sometime, having to deal with this shit.

  15. GBE

    25000 is nothing

    The US is a big country with it's fair share of idiots and nutjobs. There's nothing so stupid, embarassing, or far-fetched that there won't be at least 25000 people willing to sign their names to it.

    In some countries you'd be rounded up and shot or imprisoned for signing such a petition. Actually that seems to the sort of country the people signing those petitions want -- as long as _they're_ the ones decided who to round up...

  16. stragen001

    So.... the rednecks from the south are complaining again. Whistling Dixie and all that crap. I say let em. Give them a small chunk of Texas or something and call it redneckoslovakia or something and force all the rednecks to move there.

    Would make the USA a much better place for the rest of the normal, non inbred people.

    Give them a couple of months of none of the benefits of being part of the USA.....such as welfare, and they will soon be screaming to be let back in.

    Oh, and whoever said we should invite them back into Britain. NO. Why should we have to deal with the worse the USA has to offer.

    1. Erik N.

      I prefer the more descriptive name of Dumfukistan.

  17. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

    "A few counter-secession petitions have been started as well, including one that calls for deportation of signers of secessionist petitions, and another that suggests they should be stripped of their citizenship and exiled."

    Not bad.

    Yep, everybody wants so hard to be in Club Federal USA that dissenters need to be exiled. Think of all the people in need of Obamacare, DEA, CIA and whatnot, all those widows, children and crying Indians! Abraham Lincoln sure told people what happens if the "secession" word is heard - Maximum Overkill (later retconned to be "against slavery". Quite credible coming from a crooked racist lawyer, yep.)

    "The historical attempts to legalize the right of secession in national constitutions show that secession rights have often been used as a tactic to attract smaller sovereign ethnic and national groups into a larger

    political union for the purpose of enjoying perceived economic and social benefits. However, once the political union was attained, the right of secession was often delegitimized, either through practical

    politics or legal repeal. In cases in which the right of secession was exercised, the result was most often a war by the central state to preserve political union. In those cases in which secession occurred peacefully, it was because the central state accepted the reality and legitimacy of secession and negotiated a peaceful transition through established constitutional means."


    1. P. Lee


      Sorry, are we talking about the US or the EU?

    2. disgruntled yank


      "A crooked racist lawyer." Racist compared to whom, Jeff Davis? Crooked compared to whom, Stephen Douglas? Contrarianism is a fine thing, but common sense a finer.

      "Destroy all monsters", eh? The sleep of reasons produces them, I hear--must be time for a cup of coffee.

  18. Red Bren

    The grass is always greener

    Texas? Wasn't that a part of Mexico that got settled by rednecks, who then decided they didn't like (being) Mexicans?

  19. Long Fei


    " be stripped of their citizenship and exiled."

    Exiled to *where*, exactly? I doubt there would be any country in the world willing to take in fifty thousand fat Yank rednecks.

    Then again, maybe one* of the countries the US has upset where they could be used for target practice. Or maybe a starving nation, to be cut up and used for food. T

    *Take your pick.

    1. veti Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: where?

      Yep. This is the biggest single problem facing the whole of the world today: where?

      When there's a frontier, it's easy. When the world is divided into 'civilised' and 'barbarian' lands, and the former will smile upon you doing whatever the hell you like in the latter, it's easy. There's no shortage of places to go and carve out a niche for yourself.

      But when the whole of the world is occupied, divided up between people who (we've all decided to assume) have a reasonable legal right to their own patches, what then? Where should the young, ambitious people go? Or to put it another way: whose land, specifically, are they going to steal?

      1. Naughtyhorse

        Re: where?



    2. P. Lee

      Re: where?


      I think that's the point.

      Though I didn't know New England was a hotbed of red-neckism:

      Wikipedia: The term Yankee (sometimes shortened to Yank): ... refers to people originating in the northeastern US, or still more narrowly New England.

      The real question is how much do you believe in self-determination. Its why the USA wouldn't want to be in a democracy with China, even if the Chinese played by US rules - they'd just be outvoted all the time. The real point of democracy is not to have a vote, but to have self-determination. Democracy doesn't scale too well, that's why we have local government.

    3. Michael Thibault

      Re: where?

      Puerto Rico.

      1. Rukario

        Re: where?

        Yeah, Puerto Rico, who just had a referendum to seek statehood.

  20. 142

    reminds me of this, from 2005...

  21. asdf

    so sad

    I guess they either don't teach history or teach a very revisionist history in the southern states. They need to look up how well it went for them the last time they committed high treason (The Civil War).

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Nazi much?

      It's pretty telling that no German would come out and say "russkies need to look up how well it went for them the last time they committed communism (The Great Patriotic War)."

      Could be it's because they lost.

  22. Mike Flugennock
    Thumb Up

    Louisiana? Florida? Georgia? Alabama? Tennessee?

    Hey, works for me. Losing those five states might raise our overall national IQ by about fifty points.

    1. asdf

      Re: Louisiana? Florida? Georgia? Alabama? Tennessee?

      Yeah but then we will have economic refugees flooding in from two 3rd world countries bordering us to the south.

      1. Naughtyhorse

        Re: Louisiana? Florida? Georgia? Alabama? Tennessee?

        yes, but imagine the self satisfied smugness you could develop moaning about fucking wetbacks while they cleaned your toilet :-)

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Drokking Hell, Earthlets!

    By Grud, the secessionist petitions may be over the top, but they're sane compared to this one :)

    Maybe Wagner and Ezquerra should patent this before Apple does :P

    1. Rukario

      Re: Drokking Hell, Earthlets!

      Or maybe Texas and California can come to some sort of arrangement to swap territory, say... Austin for Cupertino.

  24. Random Yayhoo

    @Aoyagi Aichou: fixed it for you

    A cruel, nihilistic, racist rant is bowdlerized and made harmless:

    "All I can see now are bald eagles, stars and stripes, rednecks and McDonald's y Taco Bell. "

  25. Anonymous Coward

    As I mentioned before....

    "When you are born into this world you get a free ticket to the freak show. When you are born in America, you get the front row seat" -- George Carlin

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Republicans need to lose the fanatical fundies

    The crazier the belief, the crazier the candidates.

    Religion deserves quiet ridicule, not election success.

    Theology is no way to run a country.

  27. david 12 Silver badge

    Abraham Lincoln

    I take the Abraham Lincoln approach: they can be as independent as they like, provided they don't mess with Fort Sumter.

  28. Killraven

    Another Crap Headline

    Residents of 35 states are petitioning for secession. Big difference.

    Texas, due to the manner and conditions of it's joining the rest of the United States, is free to secede at any point it desires and there's not much the American government can do about it. It's also free to split itself up into 2-4 individual states.

    Finding little niche groups that would like to secede is not that difficult to do, in any of the 50 states.

    1. Paw Bokenfohr

      Re: Another Crap Headline

      I don't actually believe that's entirely accurate.

      The 1845 Joint Resolution for annexing Texas doesn't include a right to secede. It does include a right for Texas to divide itself in to 5 individual states in the Union, if it wants to.

      1. Killraven

        Re: Another Crap Headline

        I stand corrected, and shall further research this.

  29. Local G
    Thumb Down

    Let's cut to the chase.

    The prediction of a white minority in America first appeared in the media in the 1980's. Which is when the National Debt began its obscene climb from $1 trillion in 1980 to $16 trillion today. Primarily because rich white men were not paying enough taxes to fund the government spending which benefited their businesses and increased their profits.

    And it was at the expense of the children of the new majority in 40 or 50 years in whose name the Treasury bonds were written.

    Sing along with Sinatra:

    "The house I live in,

    My neighbors white and black,

    The people who just came here,

    Or from generations back;

    The town hall and the soapbox,

    The torch of liberty,

    A home for all God's children;

    That's America to me."

    "The house I live in,

    The goodness everywhere,

    A land of wealth and beauty,

    With enough for all to share;

    A house that we call Freedom,

    A home of Liberty,

    And it belongs to fighting people

    That's America to me."

    You go on without me. I feel a little dizzy.

  30. aaronj2906_01


    They're right....

  31. scribbler
    Paris Hilton

    Slightly misleading title

    The title of your article suggests that 35 US states are petitioning for secession. Not true. Sore losers from 35 US states are jerking off into an online petition. No US state is petitioning for secession.

    Just sayin'

  32. Nameless Faceless Computer User

    > However, considering what happened the last time states decided to secede from the Union, we doubt the response will be an accomodating one

    This would assume, of course, that the people residing in those states have gone to skool and reed a history book.

  33. Velv

    I'm sure the states that elected Obama would quite happily get rid of those other States - I seem to remember a list circulating recently that highlighted just what would and would not sit where.

    I particularly liked: the Blue states have 90% of the wealth, the red states have 90% of the obese.

  34. chris lively

    They won't let Texas secede. We're one of the very few states that actuall has a strong and stable economy. If the top 4 states left, the rest would quickly become a third world.

    For those that think oil is our only product: you're wrong... By a long shot. Most of our cities are swelling up due to the sheer volume of companies moving here. Tech, health, manufacturing, and many others.

    Quite frankly I'm surprised by the number of out of state tags I see on my daily drive to work.

    No, the evil empire.. I mean federal government won't let us go.



    The right of succession and revolution dates from before the Declaration of Independence, into the code of the Republic of Virginia. There is no doubt that the American people have the right of revolution and succession, as affirmed by President Abraham Lincoln in 1861:

    "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it."

  36. Boris S.

    We the people...

    ...all lost with the re-election of Obama. It doesn't matter if you live in the U.S., UK, Asia or where you live, you will be negatively impacted by Obama-nomics which is destroying America.

    You may think that the demise of the U.S. economy is unimportant to you, but you would be wrong. The U.S. imports billions of dollars worth of goods and services from Europe each year and even more from Asia. With skyrocketing U.S. unemployment, U.S. consumers can no longer purchase the goods and services they did four or more years ago. That means a loss of more jobs in the EU as well as Asia. With the loss of those jobs the UK and Asian economies fall even further. Another four years of Bama-nomics is going to cripple imports to the U.S. and also jobs for non-U.S. residents.

    You haven't begun to see the pain that is about to occur.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: We the people...


      We will have to switch from importing cheap rice from poor farmers in China and selling BMWs to successful capitalists in USA - to importing cheap rice form poor American farmers and selling BMWs to successful capitalists in China

      This will mean changing TWO sets of shipping labels

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Killraven

      Re: We the people...

      Your calendar apparently only goes back four years, and everything occurred then.

      The term "skyrocketing" means to increase rapidly. Unemployment has been decreasing, albeit slowly. When Obama took office the recent recession was well past the point of beginning and the general US economy had been on a steady decline for the previous eight years. While it has not improved to any appreciable degree, the decline has at least stopped. Granted, stagnation is not a desired state, but it's better than further decline. Today's consumer can still purchase everything they did four years ago, but they cannot purchase what they could 5-12 years ago.

      What kills the buying power of the average US consumer is the simple fact that so much money is accruing in the pockets of the wealthiest (and smallest) group of people, that there has been a massive decrease in wealth for the middle- and lower-classes, and those are the classes that drive the economic health of the world.

      It's pretty simple economics: the fewer people that are holding the bulk of the money, the fewer people there are spending it.

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