movin on up
More to the point, porn production will move another 20 miles up the coast from the San Fernando Valley into Ventura County.
US condom rules 'will cause nasty RED RINGS on porn stars' todgers'
City of Angels porn actors will in future be required to sport condoms for their performances after Los Angeles County voters gave the thumbs up to the "Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act", aka "Measure B". The act was proposed to prevent "thousands of performers contracting preventable sexually transmitted infections, …
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Friday 9th November 2012 13:28 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: movin on up
Very true about that move, least for filing. Editing and the rest can still be located as is.
Sad thing about all this is, had the FDA done any reasearch. Well those expenses would not go down too well I suspect. So somebody was dammed either way.
Still on the plus side I feel better being told I have a FDA approved phalus, no wait, oh well.
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Friday 9th November 2012 14:25 GMT Anonymous Coward
UK/US
"47-57mm" is not much different from what you typically find in the UK. Last time I looked in Tesco I found 48, 52 and 56 mm on the shelf.
However, the nominal width doesn't tell you all that much about how comfortable they'll be. There's the variable stretchiness to take account of, and condoms aren't perfectly elastic in any case: you'll notice they tend to be wider after they've been used, so Hooke's law does not even give a good approximation for the pressure they'll exert. You just have to experiment.
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Friday 9th November 2012 13:11 GMT Anonymous Coward
Not that readily
You'd be amazed how many chemists, even pretty large branches of Boots et al, don't have much useful choice in this respect. Obviously, if you're too much of a shy little wallflower (like wot I am), then going up to the pretty young pharmacist and bellowing "DO YOU HAVE ANY BIGGER CONDOMS?" is.. mortifying. Trying to do it casually and quietly is even worse, I go pink and start shuffling awkwardly.
I bloody hate them, and always have trouble getting them on- too tight if things are cleared for takeoff (so to speak), and too unmanageable if you try and cheat and roll it onto a semi. It's not like I am the amazing horsecock man, it's a fairly normal size, but there really doesn't seem to be much scope in the standard size.
Being a little shy, the sheer embarrassment of not being able to get them on smoothly could really ruin things. Luckily, also being a sensitive little flower, I am far too likely to be emotionally involved to want to sleep around, so can usually negotiate a condom-free solution with a steady partner.
It's simultaneously funny and really not very funny at all. Still though, willies! (etc.)
- AC because it's waaaaay TMI for people who know me (though they already know that I can use a Galaxy S3 without needing muscle relaxant and a winch)
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Friday 9th November 2012 15:49 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not that readily
"Obviously, if you're too much of a shy little wallflower (like wot I am), then going up to the pretty young pharmacist and bellowing "DO YOU HAVE ANY BIGGER CONDOMS?" is.. mortifying. "
You are an imposter - NO man would have a problem with that announcement; indeed, most would be happy to grab the PA microphone and say "Pharmacy, we need larger condoms for the stud on checkout 3!"
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Friday 9th November 2012 16:21 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Not that readily
The other way to do it is to go into a shop that sells them as singles/two-packs, and start with one that you think will be too small, and return every two days buying the bigger size until you find on that works for the two of you.
You can always give the remaining smaller singles away as Christmas gifts to your younger friends who are trying to start a family.
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Friday 9th November 2012 13:58 GMT Jaasper
never understood buying in a shop
face to face is traumatic - online is cheaper and discreet! I would sweat quite profusely in Boots, not sure why, it's hardly illegal to need a jonny. I tried these when they launched last year. What can I say -"they fit" :-)
but now I just need to get laid more....
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Friday 9th November 2012 20:35 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: That means you'll be having sex in the near future
No, it means you're ENTITLED to have sex in the near future.
If nothing seems to move, tentatively put one on and wait a reasonable time. Then return to the shop, loudly complain about your item*'s malfunction, and demand to speak the manageress. That will add more excitement to your week than the 2-3 sessions you hoped for.
(* BOUGHT item, that is)
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Wednesday 14th November 2012 09:30 GMT Peter Gathercole
Re: I can't imagine that this law will make any difference
HD, 4K HD and 3D maybe?
Although I've heard that HD makes it very difficult, as not only do they have to dress the sets better, the participants are wanting to have full body make-up to cover body blemishes that used to be too small to see.
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Friday 9th November 2012 15:10 GMT Khaptain
Porn for the Yanks
I reckon that the real reason for the condoms is the fact that the film studios are simply shit scared of being sued by the actors.
In any event if you want good porn, there is no point in watching the Yankee stuff, European is the way to go, and if you want real hardcore or just plain disgusting its definately going to be German ( they can get real weird.)
Faffing about with Condoms is about as exciting as visting Esther Rantzens' bathroom.
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Friday 9th November 2012 15:16 GMT Juan Inamillion
Re: Porn for the Yanks
"Faffing about with Condoms is about as exciting as visting Esther Rantzens' bathroom."
There I was having a good old Friday afternoon chuckle at a Bootnotes item when someone, there's always one isn't there, has to spoil things by mentioning the unmentionable.... "Est....." <sigh> it's no good, it's as much as I can do to cut and paste the offending name.
Please, go and wash your mouth out with soap and water.
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Friday 9th November 2012 19:44 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Porn for the Yanks
They have this magical thing in the film industry called "editing", so they will just stop the cheesey seduction mid-scene, fit the guy with his glove of love and start shooting again.
Either that or they will move filming 20 miles up the road to Ventura county--or maybe even Bakersfield!!
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Wednesday 21st November 2012 20:14 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Porn for the Yanks
if you want real hardcore or just plain disgusting its definately going to be German
Bollocks sir. The Japanese are far superior in that regard than the Germans. Where else can you get a scat obsessed former schoolgirl tentacle demon raping a boy who's been tranformed into a girl until she grows some parts back and becomes a futa and starts banging his/her former girlfriend again, who just happens to be a tentacle demon in disguise.
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Friday 9th November 2012 15:37 GMT Anonymous Coward
US condom sizes
Many years ago I was seconded to work in the US. There were regular visitors from the UK & it was not uncommon to be asked (in an open office) whether I would like anything brought over from the UK.
"Tea for the missus and some condoms for me"
"Eh?"
"Yes I know you can buy them here but I find American ones too small..."
True, and I'd rather remain anon. ;-)
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Friday 9th November 2012 16:33 GMT Steve Foster
No jokes yet??!?!?!
A Scottish solder in full dress uniform marches into a chemist's. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna. He unfolds that, to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds, to reveal a condom. The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence," replies the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence," replies the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandanna, replaces it carefully in his sporran and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging. A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout outside, shortly followed by an even greater shout. The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he announces. "We'll have a new one."
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Friday 9th November 2012 18:13 GMT Saoir
Government in the bed room ?????
Talk about government reaching out to our bedrooms !!
And anyway where is the evidence of any widespread preventable sexually transmitted infections, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, hepatitis, and HIV", as a result of not slipping on a rubber ??
The truth is the opposite. The incidence of such infections is almost non existent in the porn community.
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Friday 9th November 2012 19:54 GMT Anonymous Coward
Someone should invent
A device that uses a hyperspectral imager based around variable wavelength UV LEDs to detect the unique fluorescence spectra of the common STI bacteria and gives a readout.
This method would also work for detecting unwanted substances in drinks as well so dual purpose.
Turns out that simply heating and cooling the diode will adjust its wavelength predictably, allowing a wide range of wavelengths to be generated with a simple setup.
Using several different diode centre wavelengths allows a wider range..
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Friday 9th November 2012 19:58 GMT Old Handle
As an L.A. voter, I read up on this measure, and found it rather alarming. Aside from the fact that I don't care for this sort of nanny state (or nanny country in this case) law in the first place, it really seems to go too far. Perhaps they only intend to enforce the condom part, but as written it requires full hospital-style body substance isolation. If goggles, gloves and lab coats are your idea of sexy, you're in luck. It also gives health inspectors the right to enter any location suspected of commercially producing porn. Since porn can be, and is, made in private houses, that's a bit worrisome too.
Icon: L.A. Pornstar
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Tuesday 13th November 2012 23:40 GMT Old Handle
Re: Funny,
Do'h. That was actually a typo. I meant to say "nanny county", because it's a Los Angeles County law, definitely not a federal one.
Just for the record though, the USA isn't the only country composed of multiple states. Mexico has states (estados) too. I'd be surprised if there aren't more examples.
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Saturday 10th November 2012 09:42 GMT MachDiamond
The inspector is here.
I commented on a post about this previously and wondered if there was to be a new department at the city for inspecting filming locations to be certain of compliance or would they send around the city Code Enforcement (read: punters who couldn't qualify for the police force). Will these "inspectors" be assigned? Will they compete for assignments? Or, will they sue the city for having to view people "in the act"? I get the strong impression that there will be a union action against the city that give the inspectors a 4x pay raise while on duty that will be charged to the production company. That will chase out any remaining companies. Anybody left filming adult entertainment in LA won't be telling anybody about it.
Business opportunity: Movie equipment rental shop in Ventura catering to the adult film industry. A branch in Las Vegas might be a good idea too. It's not too far of a drive and there are lots of vacant and fancy mansions that can be rented for locations.
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Saturday 10th November 2012 13:05 GMT Anonymous Coward
Easy solution
Porn will likely end up moving. While I see some purulent old aunties sing "Hosana!!" at that, the tax loss, employment, and other financial drains this will leave behind it are fairly significant.
It's not too surprising really. Government don't have brains to think about onward problems their decisions cause, so are unlikely to give a crap either way.
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Wednesday 14th November 2012 09:48 GMT Anonymous Coward
I just wish
that they would extend this to the American families where10+ children seem perfectly OK. I literally cringe when I hear 'every child is a gift from God' from people justifying why they can ignore common sense and thus contribute to the wave of overpopulation on the globe.
I know that America is a big country, and that it is far from full yet, but these are normally middle class people who are just as much a drain on the Earth's resources as any other American (I may exempt the Amish families from this generalization, but that is just because of their life-style choice, not their philosophy on children).
All first world countries should be providing an example to the rest of the world as regards population control.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
