It's not really news any more...
Apple tries to add Galaxy Note, Jelly Bean to patent slapfest
Apple has moved to add Samsung's Galaxy Note 10.1 and, unusually, the Google-built Android OS Jelly Bean which runs on the phone to an existing patent lawsuit in the US. The fruity firm argues that the Note 10.1 infringes on its intellectual property just as much as Samsung's other products in the case do. "Shortly after the …
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 15:26 GMT Andy ORourke
It may not be news but it is getting a bit annoying now
I mean I have the iphone4 and an iPad but I was left distinctly underwhelmed by the launch of the latest iPhone 5, I mean you've seen the adverts right, as far as I can tell all they have to say about it is the ear phones are a different shape and it's the biggest iPhone ever, big f'ing deal
As for the iPad mini, what a waste of time. Please tech firms (but mailnly Apple) can we get back to innovation and stop pissing about over silly law suits?
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 15:33 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
Ever stop to think if they genuinely had a case - after all surely judges will review it and throw things out if they have no merit. Too many people assume it's ok for others to come along and copy Apple stuff but not sure how you would feel if someone just came along and copied stuff you had created / invented / patented.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 15:49 GMT Psyx
Re: Pathetic..
"Ever stop to think if they genuinely had a case"
Fuck 'em: The mobile firms no longer deserve the benefit of the doubt when it comes to spurious litigation. They've already had their proverbial day in court.
"!Too many people assume it's ok for others to come along and copy Apple stuff"
Except it's laughable for 'round corners' to be 'Apple stuff', just like the idea for a technical design with no actual technical design attached is laughable. By their measure, I can go and patent jet boots and hover-boards, and sue the ass of anyone who comes up with a way of making them work. Sci-Fi writers would make a mint by running a side-line of patenting every futurist idea that they have.
If we extended today's patent wars to the auto industry, then it would have historically been the customers who were harmed: Only [say, hypothetically, let's not get into semantics] Mercedes might be allowed four wheels, only Ford have windscreen wipers, and only Vauxhall front wheel drive. The result is that no customer gets to benefit from ALL the technical innovation for 25 years, and we all get inferior products.
Likewise look at feel. Pick up a remote control, and you'll know where the 'on/off' button is regardless of manufacture, because everyone uses the same icon thingy. Steering wheels in cars are all in the same place and pedals in a now-standardised order. This benefits us as punters, allowing us to pick up new devices and quickly master them. But that's not what tech companies want any more: They want to purposely reduce inter-operability and make us stick to one manufacturer because 'it's easier' than learning how to turn off a gadget made by someone else. Again, this hurts us, the customers.
"but not sure how you would feel if someone just came along and copied stuff you had created / invented / patented."
I accept the fact that in an Internet age, people will steal my creative works, and generally prefer to feel positive about it and flattered, rather than shorten my life through the stress of rage. I accept that in a world of 7 billion people, it's pretty unlikely that I will be and deserve to be the only person who things of putting round corners or one button on something.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 15:58 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
Samsung copying the iPad is hardly just a case of copying rounded corners - the thing is near identical to look at. In your world everyone would copy everyone with no comeback and who would bother to innovate. If you were a big pharma company would you bother to spend hundreds of millions on developing, testing, bringing to market some new drug if it was acceptable that someone just shoves it through a machine - copies it and starts selling it?
The difference with jet boots and hover boards is IF you actually made one that worked you probably would want to patent it - or are you someone just happy to share with the world - or do you have to pay the bills like the rest of us?
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:04 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
Let me guess one day when someone invents a 'transporter' people will call foul and say but it was on Star Trek. There is a whole world of difference between dreaming something up and actually making it work / getting it to market.
Here you go 'world peace' - I don't have a clue how to do it but when it does I would like $1 from everyone on the earth.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:05 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
@AC 15:58 - But by your logic, the big pharmas should be suing each other because all of their pills look like pills.
And what was said about jet bootss is referring to Apple's penchant for thinking about a feature and patenting it based on a drawing of what it might do, then suing anyone who actually figures out how to make it. Kind of like if you actually invented a jet boot, and Apple sued you because they patented a drawing of a jet boot years ago.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:24 GMT vic 4
Re: Pathetic..
Seriously, does say a 10.1 tab look like ipad? If you look beyond the unavoidable similarities there is nothing left in the trade dress patents. Even you and the court agree rounded corners is irrelevant. Is the fact samsungs devices have a bevel around the glass you are concerned about? What kind of arrangement of icons would you use if you developed a UI? I'd have used and still would, a grid arrangement. Course, the real killer for samsung is they have the word "Samsung" right smack where apple's "home" button is.
Trade dress, my arse is all I can say. They are trying anything to stem competition. Don't forget many of these have been thrown out of other courtrooms.
Do you actually know what the patents being address here are? If you do it makes me wonder what you mean when you say " who would bother to innovate" because even if you can believe apple invented these there is no way you can honestly say these are innovative.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:53 GMT Richard Jones 1
Re: Pathetic..
They all look like the slates that school kids used to use before I was born. Rounded corners and all that other cr*p. By the way rounded corners to try to reduce the risk of eye injuries even in the 1800s. I but those stupid scofflaws in that fruit mess managed to ignore the prior art and still get their idiot slab into the US patent office. Is it called the patent office because it is patently stupid?
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Friday 9th November 2012 09:22 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
Actually if your great great great great inlaw of some description, through genuine forged documents, could be proven to have a chalk activated slate screen with wooden borders, and rounded corners, you could actually prove that the cretins in Apple actually stole a design that - well is positively ancient.
I mean I was Moses in a past life and I lead my sheeple out of Babylon and we copied, I mean took our 10,000,000 year old tablet design with us....
So I would be able to vouch that you are my descendant and Apple stole that design too.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:27 GMT EvilGav 1
Re: Pathetic..
It's true, they are nearly identical to look at. As are every television and monitor on the planet. There's a very simple reason for that - the primary device in both is the screen and little else, so why waste space on things that aren't needed?
The iPad looks remarkably similar to the Windows Tablet released in 2001, for exactly the same reason.
That the technology inside all of these devices, the bit that's genuinely patentable, isn't the same seems to not enter into the argument . . .
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
I have just patented a mechanism where computers simulate or emulate thinking. I have called it "Intelligensia Artificiale" I use it personally, and don't intend anyone to have it. It is my personal invention, to make my life easier. I'm not showing it to anyone.
If you ever come to the same solution, all your base are belong to us.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 18:11 GMT Psyx
Re: Pathetic..
"Samsung copying the iPad is hardly just a case of copying rounded corners - the thing is near identical to look at."
Turn it over. Now it's not. Or should we only look at things from one specific angle when deciding wishy-washy patent cases for things that should never have been granted due to prior art in the first place?
I'm pretty sure quite a few cars look the same from the top, too.
"In your world everyone would copy everyone with no comeback and who would bother to innovate."
'My World' still has patent laws, copyright and patent hearings. Except 'my world' doesn't allow dumb-ass patents, patent trolling, requires that companies license patents, and doesn't try patent cases by jury.
But...y'know: Thanks to jumping to the other end of the opinion spectrum and nailing my flag to the mast in an attempt at reductio ad absurdum because I didn't totally agree with you.
"The difference with jet boots and hover boards is IF you actually made one that worked you probably would want to patent it"
If I made one that worked, I would discover that someone in the US 20 years ago had already patented the IDEA of a hover-board with only the vaguest of descriptions of how it works (By expelling high pressure gases or something), who then sells the patent as part of a bulk deal to some patent-trolling company with a massive legal department who I can't afford to fight, which then sues my a$$. THAT is the problem.
" - or are you someone just happy to share with the world - or do you have to pay the bills like the rest of us?"
I have a day job to pay the bills and just create things for other people to freely use (so long as I am credited) in my free time, thanks for asking.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:21 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Pathetic..
"If we extended today's patent wars to the auto industry, then it would have historically been the customers who were harmed: Only [say, hypothetically, let's not get into semantics] Mercedes might be allowed four wheels, only Ford have windscreen wipers, and only Vauxhall front wheel drive. The result is that no customer gets to benefit from ALL the technical innovation for 25 years, and we all get inferior products."
Go back to the start of the indiustrial revolution and this is exactly what happened - James Watt had patents on his steam engine but had to use an inferior gear based system to convert the linear motion of the piston into circular motion as someone else had a patent on crankshafts .... however Watt was so zealous about enforcing his patents that (according to someone running a restored pumping engine who I heard giving a description of the development of early steam engines) he mnanaged to prevent anyone else further developing steam engines until after his patents expired which arguably delayed the real start of the industrial revolution by 20-30 years!
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 18:16 GMT Psyx
Re: Pathetic..
"he mnanaged to prevent anyone else further developing steam engines until after his patents expired which arguably delayed the real start of the industrial revolution by 20-30 years!"
Yes; it's bollocks, isn't it? Patents for actual technical developments need to be protected, but they should be available on licence so that humanity isn't held back in our development by hordes of sodding lawyers.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 22:58 GMT PhilBuk
Re: Pathetic..
The Wright Brothers had the same effect on US aircraft development with their patents for control methods. They sued far and wide and, by the time WW1 came round, European aircraft development was way ahead. The impasse ended when Congress pressured the aircraft companies to form a patent pool.
Phil.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 21:40 GMT Ben Tasker
Re: Pathetic..
Just to add to the argument, someone told me yesterday (and as he's from the OIN Im inclined to trust him til I can be bothered to look it up) that a good proportion of the patents being used weren't filed or 'invented' by Apple in the first place. The multitouch stuff in particular is all patents they acquired from fingerworks.
So to turn the question on its head, if you developed and patented in an area you were enthusiastic about, would you not be really pissed if someone used your patents (in the sense you did all the work) to try and prevent innovation in that area?
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Thursday 8th November 2012 10:39 GMT Bob Vistakin
Re: Pathetic..
@Greg J Preece
I'll take your two words and raise you Widgets and NFC.
And don't forget 4.2's multi user capabilities. The Cupertino photocopiers no doubt started with the usual mad scramble when that was announced and might hit iOS next year - all nice and ready for Apple to sue everyone for it the year after. And they'll once again use the best courts money can buy, natch.
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Thursday 8th November 2012 18:58 GMT JEDIDIAH
Re: Pathetic..
> Too many people assume it's ok for others to come along and copy Apple stuff
That's the way the world works. If not for this being the case in the 80's, you would likely never see any sort of affordable mass market personal computer of any variety (Mac clone or DOS clone).
People like you should be forced to use the kind of computing tech that your corporoate shilling nonsense implies you should have access to.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:02 GMT vic 4
Re: Details? Details?
I can only assume it's the utility patents, i.e. rubberbanding (now invalidated but thats not going to stop them), tap to zoom and how to figure out if someone is scrolling or trying to do a pinch!
Course it could also be the fact android arranges icons in a grid. The others rely on something physical, e.g. a bezel around the glass (FFS!). Although android probably does assume a equiangular quadrilateral and apple seem to think a rectangular shape is part of their trade dress.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 17:36 GMT Bob Vistakin
Re: Judge Koh won't throw this out...
Tis now but a short leap before kids are taught Apple invented the mobile phone itself. Once that lie is also repeated enough, as these current rounded corner ones are, we'll see some Texan court they bought starting to sue competitors over their "speaking from one hand held device into another remote one" innovation.
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Thursday 8th November 2012 12:19 GMT Psyx
Re: Judge Koh won't throw this out...
"Judge Koh won't throw this out...
She's on a gravy train until she retires!"
I realise that the general opinion of Judges is fairly low, but trust me when I say that no Judge wants to sit in front of a pair of VERY expensive lawyers listening to child-like wailing over patents for a month (let alone an entire career), especially when the Courts are back-logged with REAL cases with REAL victims looking for some closure, and REAL criminals who are walking free on bail for far too long, because the Courts are too busy.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:00 GMT Anonymous Coward
Infringing what?
Most of the so called 'patents' they were suing over have been ripped up by the USPTO for being obvious. Expect the couple that haven't yet been decided on to go the same way.
Apple have been repeatedly shot down by courts all over the world, their big win in the US is extremely unlikely to survive the appeal, what exactly do Apples management think they are going to gain from this except bad publicity?
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:01 GMT Anonymous Coward
You have to either accept patents and protection of IP or not - but think it would kill innovation if we discarded them completely. You ask the average Joe in the street and they would say the Samsung device was near-enough a copy as it is. No one is saying they can't make a tablet but realistically there is a difference between making one and copying one.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 22:24 GMT Thorne
"You have to either accept patents and protection of IP or not - but think it would kill innovation if we discarded them completely. You ask the average Joe in the street and they would say the Samsung device was near-enough a copy as it is. No one is saying they can't make a tablet but realistically there is a difference between making one and copying one."
Have you seen Apple's patents? They're total crap. Slide to unlock. Rounded corners. Bounce back. Two or more fingers on a touch screen.
Stuff like that shouldn't be allowed to be patented.
Patents are required to protect inventions, not eye candy, not the obvious.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:07 GMT Miek
"Apple has moved to add Samsung's Galaxy Note 10.1 and, unusually, the Google-built Android OS Jelly Bean which runs on the phone to an existing patent lawsuit in the US." -- Whatever they argue; the Samsung Note 10.1 is far cooler than the iPad. The Stylus thingy is amazing, not only do I use it, but, I chew on the damn thing too.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 17:16 GMT Dave 126
Re: @ AC 16:21
>phone size bluetooth keyboard for about a tenner
Very, very sensible... back in the day when my phones had physical buttons and keys, it wasn't unusual for them to fail before any other part of the device (on my Nokias, and those of my mates', too). The work around a broken number 6 button was to copy an existing contact that contained enough 6s, then edit the numbers around it!
Having the most common point of failure (the keyboard) replaceable is no bad thing.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:22 GMT Captain Underpants
@AC 16:12
That's well and good, but the resolution of the average human fingertip is pretty damn crap compared to what you can get with a stylus. It depends on what you're trying to do, of course, but if you want to use illustration software for whatever reason on your tablet, then a stylus offers a clear advantage.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:09 GMT Anonymous Coward
To all those people who think patents suck - well if you are a programmer why not just open source all the work you do? It's ok to copy a Rolex (even to the point of sticking Rolex on it) and why buy music / films when you can just copy them. Samsung were a supplier and in a privileged position which makes it even worse - they should get the 3x damaged for being 'wilful' for that reason alone.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:26 GMT Anonymous Coward
It's not patents, but specifically software patents. Hardware patents are fine, they protect an individual design / implementation of that design. Software patents are protecting ideas, for example, the idea of a "box displaying text which when clicked displays alternative options, the selected option is then displayed in the main box". It does not require an implementation and if such a patent were awarded, every website/application that has a drop down list has to pay up.
As a programmer, I have copyright law protecting my individual work: my implementation of the drop down list, not the idea. I don't need a patent to protect it.
Patenting a garden gate lock just because it's implemented in software is stupid. The idea has been around since umm, garden gate locks have. Apple have copyright on their specific implementation and if anybody copies it they can sue. They cannot prevent other people using a gate lock in software. That is how the law is in Europe where we don't have software patents, thank <diety>.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:59 GMT David Hicks
@Anonymous Coward
Patents and copyright are very different things. Before ranting about patents it might be wise to figure out the distinction. Comparing open and closed source to infringing on software patents is nonsense.
In the world of software (and now it seems computer and phone hardware) infringing on someone's patent is basically inevitable. They were supposed to be for non-obvious things that took a lot of work to invent, and the idea was that instead of keeping them secret, you published them so the world could benefit. In exchange you got a limited monopoly on production. What we have now is the opposite - patents granted for stupid, obvious things that other people were going to do anyway, and the patent system used as a weapon to suppress competition.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 19:25 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Patents being thrown out
Not only Apple claims. Being largely overwhelmed with patent applications, USPTO decided to grant patents about almost everything and let the courts sort this out. Now the courts are being overwhelmed with this type of cases and having to do the work of USPTO (prior art, patentability etc.) combined with the increase use of patents as an anti-competitive weapon intended to keep competition at bay.
Like other companies do, Apple and Samsung could very well cross-license their patent portfolios and keep on with their business. However, Apple is intended in destroying Android and Steve Jobs was very clear on that. In case you didn't know, court documents show that Apple requested from 30$ to 40$ per device and offered a 80% discount if those devices run Windows instead of Android.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:16 GMT DEAD4EVER
apple grow up
seriously apple are becoming a bunch of kids and you wonder why i never touch there over hyped over priced products thats only for rich gits and posh show off idiots. the more people realise this the better and its only a matter of time but apple starts to die and no longer exsist. i bet in about 10 or 20 years from now people will forget about apple and think apple who. i personally couldnt care less cause i dont like there products people are only buying them cause of the logo thats all.
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Thursday 8th November 2012 19:54 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: apple grow up
"seriously apple are becoming a bunch of kids and you wonder why i never touch there over hyped over priced products thats only for rich gits and posh show off idiots"
Ah, "posh show off idiots" with thumbs, shift keys and punctuation? They're fiends. I heard that they're trying to turn our kids gay, too.
Please stop posting.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
Can we just shoot Apple and their lawyers with an Arrow Now?
This company needs to drop off the face of the earth.
To Hell with all their lawyers as well.
Just sick and tired of this total BS company that is reaping BILLIONS from its follows and yet still wants to dominate the world and remove any freedom of choice.
I'll NEVER own/use an Apple device as long as I live.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 17:20 GMT Dave 126
Re: Can we just shoot Apple and their lawyers with an Arrow Now?
>I'll NEVER own/use an Apple device as long as I live.
Does that extend to buying a magazine that has been composed on a Mac, or looking at an advertisement that has been Photoshopped on a Mac? Or listening to a band who have used a Mac to record their album? Just wondering.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:26 GMT Robert Forsyth
It's just marketing...
Aplle is a "hi-tech" company, to be the highest tech company, it has to have (all) other companies copying, in their made up reality.
It is not really to do with engineering and technology, I think Apple have some very talented people, even if their trade-dress nodes towards Braun and Quad Hi-Fi
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:27 GMT jason 7
Time for the consumer to hit back.
I propose that in the month of February, no one buys any products from Apple or Samsung.
Not a single thing. Just to show how fed up we all are with this quite frankly staggeringly childish behaviour.
Should be time enough to organise.
Maybe a slight dent in their results might make them grow up. They don't appear to respond to anything else.
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Friday 9th November 2012 18:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Time for the consumer to hit back.
"Maybe a slight dent in their results might make them grow up."
My analytical skills are telling me even if you did manage to organise such a boycott, that slight dent would be followed by a slight spike where customers have waited a month to buy the phone they want instead of buying a model they don't.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:42 GMT Arctic fox
The thing I wonder about here is how long before their more "committed" supporters.......
.........(and I am sure that like fanbois all denominations, some of them should be) are going to begin to recognise that the behaviour that Cupertino are exhibiting is not in their supporters interests or indeed the long term interests of the company itself. How long before they realise that the biggest favour they could do for the beloved shiney-producer is, in the words of the 1960's advert for the anti-BO properties of Lifebuoy soap, "what your best friends won't tell you", is in fact to be a good friend to their favourite company and say "you are fucking up - big time!" If Apple go on like this they are going to bring the temple roof in on top of themselves - time to stop guys, really it is.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:48 GMT TiddlyPom
Bet they won't attack their friends Microsoft over the MS Surface - only FOSS foes
Microsoft almost certainly competes with Apple on their core turf but as tMS have such a low market penetration - Apple don't view them as a threat whereas Android Phones/Tablets are far more successful than Apple overpriced cr@p so therefore have to be attacked by any anti-competitive means possible.
I did have an Apple Mac - have sold it and bought new a PC (from PCSpecialist - who sell PCs WITHOUT WIndows) and it runs Ubuntu 12.10 beautifully. Like many here I will never buy another Apple (or Microsoft) product. Well done Apple - you have lost yet another customer due to your idiotic anti-competitive lawsuits.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 16:58 GMT Anonymous Coward
They are just getting desparate now. The Tab cannot be confused with an iPad by anyone other than a total idiot. By the same reasoning an iPad could be confused for a Tab.
I have Jellybean on my Note II and can say it's nothing like iOS other than it uses icons in the exact same way as Windows 3 did. If they decide to take Google on with this then they are looking at a world of hurt from their patents.
My son currently uses an iPod touch - he's looking at a Nexus 7 for Chrimbo.
I currently have an iPad 2 but my text large tablet will be Android driven, probably a Tab derivative.
My current phone is a Note II.
Can honestly say I've never been as p'd off by a company and it's actions as I have with Apple.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 17:10 GMT Anonymous Coward
yawn
When will these tedious people realise it's not the minutiae of elastic scrolling that sells these devices. Nor some obscure few lines of code buried deep in the codebase that average customer doesn't give two hoots about.
Consumers go for the basics, does it do Facebook, is it cheap, do my friends have it, can I get it in pink? Or, if you actually like iTunes, 'ooh, it's beautiful'.
Apple, are you really losing sales because someone else puts rounded corners on their phone? No. It's avarice, arrogance and vanity. I don't know what the alleged jelly bean infringements are but I would be surprised if any consumer noticed.
The USPTO (and other intellectual property outfits) probably need a few lessons in common sense too.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 17:23 GMT HollyHopDrive
This is plain stupid
do you remember when the palm pilot came out. Brilliant. They kind of set the standard of PDA's, for quite a while as I remember. There were other things, newton etc, but they all competed on the various merits yet all looked sort of the same. If anybody had tried to patent the "form factor" of these things there would have been no choice and competition and modern day smartphones would never have happened. The competition was good and drove better versions.
Apple need to get a grip and samsung need to stop rising to the bait.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 18:55 GMT Toothpick
Who the hell is running Apple ?
Because from where I'm sitting it doesn't look like Tim Cook. Their attack dog legal department appears to roam free and needs to be leashed. Doesn't he and/or the Apple board realise what potential damage these "lawsuits" may do to the company in the form of bad PR? Or don't they care? Seems to me that as long as the legal dept and lawyers continue to spunk money up a wall then everything is tickety-boo.
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 19:38 GMT Wallyb132
With the whole direction of apple at the moment, this is starting to resemble the first "Look and Feel" lawsuit between apple and microsoft 30 years ago, and just like that lawsuit, apple came out strong in the beginning but lost their ass in the end, to the point they almost went under, and, it was microsoft themselves who prevented apples demise by investing $150m in apple. the difference this time around is that Steve Jobs wont be there many years down the road, after they run themselves in to the ground, to save their ass...
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Wednesday 7th November 2012 23:45 GMT b166er
AC@19.29 ah yes, but you can cross reference past postings from the handle b166er to determine if I have some sort of unholy anti(insert favourite technology) bent and am therefore trolling, whereas you hiding behind the Anonymous Coward handle gets your individuality hidden amongst the sea of refuse that belongs to the rest of the Anonymous Cowards.
Surrey Cowards, eh? You didn't go to Magna Carta did you?
I realise the irony of responding to 2 AC's
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Thursday 8th November 2012 12:17 GMT Stuart 14
Apple to sue Christians
An Apple layer announced today that a patent infringement case was to be taken out against all branches of Christianity. Mr. Ian Andrew Michel Dickless, chief legal brief for Apple, claimed in papers presented to the court ; that the use of an apple with a bite mark out of it in the story of Adam and Eve; was an infringement on patents held by Apple regarding UI design, software coding with regard to non citrus fruit and how fingers can be used to manipulate organic material. Mr. I AM Dickless also claim trademark infringement, which he says is made most dire and heinous as competitors were using this most tragic of stories, to sully the shining saintly image that is of the Apple. When questioned about how historically Apple could make these claims a member of the legal team produced evidence showing that the banishment from paradise must have happened during the iOS6 update period. He was quoted as saying, “If Eve had still been on iOS5 she would have been able to find her way back to paradise; instead she was left to wander a land warped, confused and unknown even to those who lived there”. Another member of the legal team was unable to comment as he was eating the children of a family who owned an old and slightly dysfunctional Samsung fridge freezer. When asked about damages Mr. I AM Dickless fell to his knees threw his hands in the air and announced (in tongues) “No court in the world has the authority to put a price on the damage done. So when due and fair legal process has taken its course; and we have the bustards against the wall; we’ll have a séances and ask Steve how big the next boat should be”.
In related news
A cleaner at the US patent Office has approved a patent application from Dr Bloodlust for the half wheel. Dr Bloodlust a well regarded member of the patent troll community and close friend of Jimmy Savile was heard screaming, “eight times damages for every friggin car and then I’m going after those bastard baby chair makers”.
If you now have coffee in your keyboard then you owe me a pint.