If this is the oddest behaviour of the british public, we have become a very dull lot indeed.
And that insurance office must really be a bundle of joy to work in.
Here, apparently, are the UK’s ten oddest insurance claims made regarding mobile phones. We offer them without comment on their veracity, though the mobile phone insurance go-between that sent them to us in the hope of some free publicity* insists the claims “were investigated fully”, presumably by the insurer it represents. …
I can all too easily imagine how it got there - hugely overworked vet dealing with umpteenth calving of a late night forgets to swap his phone to his other hand before reaching in to check the calf is in the correct position. It is how he realised where it was that interests me;
VET: Damn, I seem to have misplaced my mobile. Can someone just ring it for me please?
...phones fall out of pockets etc a lot.
I've only claimed once, but it was for driving over my own handset. I explained to the insurance company that I was trying to bump-start one of my cars, but that the phone popped out or my pocket as I jumped into the driver's seat, to feel the back of the car bump over it as the car rolled forward.
There was a pause, before the insurance guy did his best Victor Meldrew, checked with someone further up the line and then came back to say they would accept the claim, especially since it was only a cracked screen and it was working well enough for me to ring in on it to talk to him...
I was quite surprised to find so many finding it difficult to believe that someone could leave their phone on a car roof, especially as I have actually done that. That was back in the days of outrageously expensive analogue ones too. Ouch and my employers were none too impressed.
For "thing on a car roof" nothing beats a mate of mine. I was driving a carload of people to Glastonbury and we'd stopped for coffee and a wee at the M'way services. Once back on our merry way, he went to roll a fag and couldn't find his tobacco and papers. Then, on poncing a cig off someone else, he couldn't find his zippo lighter.
After puzzling a bit he had a "lightbulb moment" and remembered putting them on the roof of the car as we'd been standing around it at the services. He then proceeded to wind the window down and feel on the roof.
"Damn. They're not there!"
"As we're currently doing 70mph on the motorway, I'd be a bit bloody surprised if they were.........."
Hehe, many years ago a friend of mine managed to leave his then girlfriends A-Level art coursework on the roof of his car when leaving college; what didn't get destroyed by being on the road was soon smashed to fuck by some scrotes from the Secondary.
He was in the doghouse for a while after that one.
Some cars have a boot that can be unlatched from the keyfob.... I would really like a car that has a shelf near the driver door that can be accessed from both inside and outside the vehicle, so that possessions or shopping can be organised. No idea of how it would work, but I for one would find such a thing convenient.
'Jackass' had a candid-camera routine in which they leave a dummy baby in a chair on a car roof and then drive around, causing members of the public to run after them. I don't mind those lads injuring themselves (or horseplay in general), but I can't approve of that kind of 'boy who cried wolf' stunt. Make fools of the vain and greedy, by all means, but don't mock people's good nature.
I once left a set of church hall keys on the roof of my car after locking up and putting a load of stuff in my car. Got home and realised said keys weren't in my pocket. I resigned myself to looking for keys along over a mile of country roads, but on approaching my car in the driveway I noticed the keys still on the roof of the car.
".....I was quite surprised to find so many finding it difficult to believe that someone could leave their phone on a car roof...." Best claim for company Blackberry - plonker A left an extra large McDonalds coffee on the roof of plonker B's car, plonker B opened the sunroof as they drove away from the McDs and the coffee fell into the car, dousing the BB belonging to plonker B (which was plugged into the car system) and the BB of plonker A (which was in his trouser pocket!) in hot coffee. The claim was for two BBs and the car stereo, and I'm told plonker A had scalds to his groin!
It was amazing how many devices happened to get left on the roof of cars, in pubs, on trains etc, whenever IT changed the corporate standard to the latest model.
Another coincidence was that it was usually the same people who would come down to IT the week before requsting (and most of the time getting refused) an upgrade because their device was 6 months old and Fred has the latest version.
Four years ago. New Dell laptop picked up from Elsevier IT that day. Put it on the roof and drove off. Remarkably it stayed put until I braked at the car park exit. It flew across road, hit kerb, case cracked badly. CD drive came out. Lost a couple of keys. I thought - OK, I'll go home, and in a couple of weeks time I'll say I dropped it at an airport or something, I'll live on the vpn. Remarkably enough, it worked. Gaffa taped it up. Still working now. (Not well, it was a piece of c--- when they gave it to me, but other than that... just don't pick it up with one hand, that's all)
11. "Chewed up by the city council lawnmower after falling out of a pocket onto the school lawn".
By the way - it is impressive how much was left intact from the N95 after being through this. Unfortunately they do not make them that bombproof any more.
I suppose 'wacky' should mean something like 'sent into space by accident', 'stolen by angry trolls from 4chan' or 'destroyed in a freak Morris dancing accident.'
But no. Dropped into the bog.
Even I've done that - left an old Nokia on the cistern with vibrate on, received a call, buzz, tremble, buzz, plop, kapow.
Anyone know what an "inconstant boyfriend" and if my premiums are at risk because I am one?
I did giggle at the agreesive animals one, but Id of thought an aggressive monkey would be more bizzare than an aggressive seagul. After all, Id of thought the non-native monkey would be more unique than the 'seen even miles from the sea' guls.
Not that I don't believe that these are some of the ways people have broken things, but I *don't* believe that that's what they'd tell the insurance company.
Seriously? They honestly told them they were using it as a sex toy when they're trying to make a claim on the insurance? Because that would immediately invalidate any insurance I've ever used - user misuse - before you even started. Why would you bother to even phone them up in those cases because if you lie, this list would be boring, and if you don't they won't be covering you anyway?
I don't doubt that the insurance company might *suspect* what's happened to it in certain cases but what's more shocking is that there are (allegedly) idiots who will tell the insurance company what they were doing with the phone to break it even when that's something as outrageous as these? Really? How about just sucking it up and buy a new phone that you don't break by shoving it somewhere you shouldn't?
"1.Inserted into a cow’s vagina"
This is an old one - I believe it was used for an advert for Carphone Warehouse (or simillar supplier). Vet is rung up on farm and doesn't want to be seen with his old, clunky phone; Farmer walks in to barn and is puzzled by the fact that his cow appears to be ringing.
I once broke a cordless handset throwing it against the wall trying to get through to them back when I was with Tiscali broadband (briefly the only option besides Tesco at a previous address. And I'd already ditched Tesco). Satisfying as it was, I've resisted the temptation to do it again, which given that the phone side was still provided by BT...
Gee it's been a satisfying few years since being free of that bunch of showers of bastards! And my various handsets thank me daily.
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