Hmm, last time I tried to give up coffee I noticed blurred vision then loss of sight. I eventually realised it was because my eyes had closed. Brewed myself a coffee and I was cured. Coffee CURES blindness.
Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND
According to a new study, drinking more than three cups of coffee per day has been shown to correlate with an increased risk of developing glaucoma, which can lead to vision loss or blindness. "While caffeinated coffee has several health benefits," lead researcher Jae Hee Kang told Health magazine, "drinking three or more cups …
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Friday 5th October 2012 01:10 GMT James O'Shea
In other news
OXYGEN CAUSES CANCER. Yes, really. Each and every person, indeed each and every animal, who has ever had any cancer of any kind whatsoever has been addicted to the evil chemical O2. All of them. No exceptions. Some get their fix in gaseous form, some get it dissolved in liquid, all animals, all of them, who have ever had any cancer whatsoever have been addicted to oxygen. The use of this dangerous chemical must be stamped out, with immediate effect. Will no one think of the children?
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Friday 5th October 2012 07:52 GMT Ralph B
Re: Water causes drowning
Current allegations suggest that the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) may be conspiring to cover up the whole Dihydrogen Monoxide issue.
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Friday 5th October 2012 10:52 GMT Grikath
Re: Being a rampant coffee addict
My eyesight has not deteriorated so far to fail to notice the concept of "caffeïnated coffee" in the very first paragraphs of the article.
At which point I gave up reading, and proceeded to write my own paper titled "the adverse effects of ethanolated beer on human coordination" so I can submit it to a major science outlet near you Soon(tm).
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Friday 5th October 2012 04:58 GMT Jtom
Oh, man. More garbage. Do you know how they do these studies? They start with a mega-study that in reality is just a survey. They ask hundreds of questions, like how many cups of coffee a day do you drink, how many times to you go to the toilet, what health problems do you have, do you eat wheat, and on and on. The 'subjects' self-report - their answers usually only approximate the reality (quick, now, how many cups of coffee a day did you have last week?). Then they do correlations: Look here, Joe, of the people who did x suffered y 10% more often than those who didn't do x. When you have a large questionnaire you can find many things that seem to correlate.
The problem with that is in any random sampling you have NOISE. Just statistical quirks that mean nothing. Chances are far greater that some 'x' will either be better or worse than 'not x' than 'x' and 'not x' being exactly the same. And every time you find such a variation, you are guaranteed a publishable paper and perhaps make the news.
Just please don't call it science.
The science comes after this first phase, when you look at specific anomalies to find out if there's anything really going on, and if so, why and how.
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Friday 5th October 2012 06:37 GMT Andy 70
so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
is a quad-shot americano (four espressos topped up with water) a cup? certainly fits in one...
used to do 4 -5 of these a day. is that bad?
and man the headache's on the weekend! unreal! only when i cleared my first litre of filtered in the morning that they would go away. - reminds me. need to defrost the bacon for tomorrow morning...
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:42 GMT James Micallef
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
In the US and Canada, 'cup' sizes are more like children's seaside buckets. Who the hell drink cofee in pints??
Since what's important is the concentration, not just the size, the correct measure for coffee consumption is 'shots of espresso', although that sounds a bit boring. We need a standard El Reg unit for cofee consumption!
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Friday 5th October 2012 14:38 GMT Swarthy
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
I propose the "jolt " as the standard measure of coffee. 1 jolt would be the quantity of coffee that contains 150mg of caffeine. 12oz (355ml) of drip-brew (filter) coffee or 2 shots of espresso.
A similar measure would be the "belt" as a measure of alcohol, 1 belt being equivalent to 1 pint (450ml) beer, or a shot of 80 proof.
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:22 GMT bitmap animal
Re: so, how much coffee is a "cup"?
Absolutely - what is one cup, four shots of high caffeine 'devils brew' or a xxxxbucks Latte?
A few years ago I was drinking 20-30 shots a day, made up as 4-5 shot Americanos as they are called these days. When I decided to have a break I was fine for a couple of days and started to get blasé about those saying I'd have nasty withdrawal symptoms.
About 3 days after I stopped I spent a day in bed with horrendous flu like symptoms - then I was fine.
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Friday 5th October 2012 06:47 GMT Charles 9
Hey, you gotta start somewhere.
Don't knock the article for what is: an observation leading to a hypothesis. Specifically, the statement they'll want to test next is, "Drinking more than three cups of coffee per day results in increase shedding of lens and iris material." I'm only taking the article at face value and won't give it much thought until I hear the results of a follow-up experiment to determine a causal relationship.
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Friday 5th October 2012 07:07 GMT foo_bar_baz
Subtlety
The article specifically says there's a heightened risk, IF you are already genetically disposed to developing glaucoma. It does not say X cups/day -> blindness as per the Reg headline.
A statistical study is one way to disprove a hypothesis (coffee & exfoliation glaucoma). The results of this one certainly don't disprove it, just offer tentative support.
The purpose of a paper like this is not to inform your coffee drinking decisions or government policy. It's to let other researchers know the results of your studies, point toward a possible result and direct further studies. If you're demanding for iron clad results in every scientific study, you're not going get many done. Science doesn't progress how a layman would like, it's often slow and leads to dead ends. Deal with it.
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:16 GMT MJI
I hate coffee
Never liked it, hate the smell, never understood why people like it.
Normally drink decaf tea - caffeine makes me feel het up.
What will that do for my eyesight?
Luckily a drink I like is available in the next building to our office building.
It is just after 10 and I feel like a pint.
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Friday 5th October 2012 10:39 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: I hate coffee
It's an acquired taste, much like for example olives would be to someone who grew up on northern European style food.
Means that if you grew up on tea, you need to have the occasional cup to get used to the taste if you want to acquire it. Likewise to someone that grew up on coffee, tea can taste quite bland and takes a bit of getting used to to appreciate the subtleties.
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Saturday 6th October 2012 00:01 GMT Mike Flugennock
Re: I hate coffee
While we're on the subject, a question for all the Brits on here: do you drink tea for the reason we drink coffee over here -- to get yourselves wired up and out of zombie mode in the morning? Most people I know say it in jest, but I really am useless before my first cup of coffee in the morning, seriously. For the first fifteen minutes after I get out of bed, I shuffle around as if I'm catatonic, or drunk, until I can get that first hot swig or two slamming into my blood.
Over the past ten years or so, tea has become fairly popular over here with the hipster types. I've tried various varieties out of curiosity, but found it rather bland and unfulfilling. Of course, it could just be because we don't really know how to make proper tea over here. There's a couple of major brands of tea that are popular over here, and one of them is that Celestial Seasonings stuff, that flippy-dippy flavored herbal tea. That damn' stuff has the opposite effect of what I'm after -- it puts me to sleep, f'crissake. Who the hell needs that?
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Saturday 6th October 2012 06:40 GMT Corinne
Re: I hate coffee
I don't find tea gives the instant shot in the arm effect of coffee first thing can do, but a decent cup of breakfast tea can wake me up in a more soothing manner.
Many of the herbal teas & infusions are specifically designed to have a calming effect, so lay off those first thing! As a first try, find a standard brand like Tetleys, PG tips or (preferably) Yorkshire Tea. Add tea bag to the mug with any sugar you require, add BOILDING water to the mug leaving a small gap in the top for any milk you require. Add milk, then stir gently until the tea reaches your preferred shade and remove the tea bag. For a newcomer to tea drinking, I would suggest something a little darker than natural cardboard - any weaker & you won't get enough taste, much stronger & you may take a while to get used to the taste of the tannin in the tea.which can have an almost metallic taste to it.
Theres an idea for Lester to run with - we've had bacon butties, now how about the nectar of the gods to wash it down with? I could see that one being even more controversial!
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Saturday 6th October 2012 16:02 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: I hate coffee
American tea bears as much similarity to a decent cuppa as Starbucks does to a cup of coffee. Coffee first thing in the morning makes me want to puke, tea is a soothing way to get going. Coffee comes in around 10am.
Irrelevant factoid:
One of the few things the French have in common with the Americans is that neither knows how to make a proper cup of tea.
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Friday 5th October 2012 09:30 GMT Anonymous Coward
Sceptical...
Seeing is believing!
But more serious though; studies like these are going on forever. First one has to wonder how realistic and truthful these findings are. Sure; they may look genuine now but just give it time. It won't be the first "shocking conclusion" which gets debunked a few months later (but such news usually only finds its way on page 6 or 7 of the newspaper) and it won't be the last.
I like to cook. Not a fanatical cook or such, but from time to time I like spending a few hours to cook up a good meal. As such one can expect that I also have a cookbook, though I also heavily use the Net for this (never underestimate what you can learn from other people's advices or tips, even though you might not agree with them!). Like with computers I don't need hand holding, I need a guide telling me the basics, and from there on I'll find my own way. So my cookbook dates from 1960 or so and it explains the very essence of (Dutch) meals. The seasoned dishes, common dishes and everything around it (how to make certain sauces, what kind of ingredients make variation, etc, etc.).
The book starts with an introduction: "What is healthy now is soon to be claimed unhealthy and the bad dishes often turn out not that bad anymore when new studies have been performed".
I kid you not; such studies have been going on for ages. Its the same with everything else: just try not to overdo it, then you should be fine.
Speaking of which: ever heard of nutmeg ? Its a spice with a very specific and strong flavour. and commonly used throughout the world. However, consuming too large amounts can actually be poisonous. Yet that never seems to bother anyone...
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Saturday 6th October 2012 00:13 GMT Mike Flugennock
Re: Glaucoma
Glaucoma is due to increased intra-ocular pressure.
Marijuana has been shown to decrease intra-ocular pressure
Coffee + joint = balanced pressure :)
Now, there's a man after my own heart.
When I have a bit of extra cash around and can score some bud, I like nothing more than to "wake'n'bake" in the morning -- I work out of my home studio so I can get away with it -- with a nice big mug of strong coffee, black with sugar, and just a couple of drags off a joint, just enough to take the raw edge off the caffeine.
I'm usually up around 7am, but don't actually start working until 9ish, so that's two hours to enjoy my first cup, a short smoke, and the morning news, and I'm awake, relaxed and ready to roll by 9am. For me, it's been a pretty much perfect combination ever since college.
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Friday 5th October 2012 11:12 GMT Ben 54
Fruits are dangerous as well!
In recent studies they found that everyone who ate fruit 200 years ago died. Conclusion is fruit MUST be bad for you.
On topic, been drinking 10 to 15 cups of coffee per day, i work in IT afterall. Been like this for 20 years, im the only one not wearing glasses in the office, and even more, im one of the few who havent walked into the glass door at the entrance because the auto door doesnt work. Coincidence?
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Friday 5th October 2012 11:52 GMT the-it-slayer
NO-ONES TAKING MY STARBUCKS AWAY FROM ME!
Haven't the people who have done these studies realised that ANYTHING potentially harmful to you will give you an increased chance of anything bad if you take more of it?
I've ruined my eyes more by reading that article and slowly degenerating my eye muscles. Anyway, this study is not going to stop going to see my favourite barista in the morning who knows my name, knows my favourite coffee and does it the way I like it.
Beer icon because there's no coffee icon here and it's Friday.
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Friday 5th October 2012 13:10 GMT Bad Beaver
Caffeine is a hell of a drug. Just try quitting.
Caffeine is a wonderful stimulant and has a number of positive qualities. It is also superbly addictive and highly tolerance building. It is a drug and just because it is legal does not mean that it is safe or good for you in large quantities. Duh.
I used to be a heavy user of caffeine in all its wonderful forms, and for what it's worth: Ever since I limited myself to one strong cup in the morning I do notice several positive developments.
This includes: More balanced mood, improved mental focus, better quality of sleep, and yes, LESS EYESTRAIN.
So if you do suffer from glaucoma, a painful pressure in your eyes or general eyestrain, mood swings, irritability, messed up sleep patterns or the inability to "think straight" without a couple 100mg of C8H10N4O2 in your system – try lowering your dosage. Just like quitting nicotine it is not exactly a pleasant process at first but I assure you it is worth it.
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Friday 5th October 2012 23:40 GMT Mike Flugennock
Do I feel lucky?
Well, hell, I've been drinking coffee like water since I was about 17; I'm 55 now, so I guess I'm pretty lucky. I even developed a taste for chocolate-covered espresso beans about twenty years ago (chocolate and coffee, the one-two punch!)
Granted, I've had to use reading glasses since I was 40, but then, so did my Dad -- who, btw, was also a coffee junkie. The reading-glasses-at-40 thing is probably just normal aging, though, so what the hell...
Waiter, waiter! Percolator!
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Saturday 6th October 2012 12:36 GMT Luke 1
If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...
... then people in the Nordic countries are seriously at risk, or already blind
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_coffee_consumption_per_capita
For example, we Finns drink almost three times as much coffee as the Americans.
Long time ago there was a study that showed a strong correlation between ice cream sales and drowning accidents with both peaking in July. Proposed remedy was to require proof of swimming skills when buying ice cream ;-)
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Sunday 7th October 2012 12:19 GMT Charles 9
Re: If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...
"Long time ago there was a study that showed a strong correlation between ice cream sales and drowning accidents with both peaking in July. Proposed remedy was to require proof of swimming skills when buying ice cream ;-)"
I think they went against it because they learned the problem was caused by ice cream stands stationed right next to the pools. Kids would get ice cream (popular on a hot July day), eat, jump in the pool, and CRAMP, causing the drowning incidences. Since cramps can be dangerous even for a skilled swimmer, they instead just banned ice cream (and any other food) from pools. Isn't that why you can't find a snack machine around a pool anymore?
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Friday 12th October 2012 08:00 GMT Rukario
Re: If drinking too much coffee can make you blind ...
I'm sure the Finns drink far more coffee...
Depends on your definition of coffee.
If one definition (say, the Finnish definition) is the infusion of water through ground coffee beans*
and the other (from a coffee shop called SunDeers) is a pint** of water or frothy milk with a small tincture of the above coffee mix, then the proportion is far, far greater than 3:1.
*this is El Reg, no doubt I'll be given correct terminology
** venti = 20 (ounces) = 1 pint
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
