back to article What does Steve Wozniak do at Fusion-IO?

Fusion-IO rolled into Sydney this week, with CEO David Flynn and other execs duchessing media and customers with tales of super-fast flash speeding things up inside the data centre. All of which is useful knowledge for IT folks, even if it is far from a revelation to anyone who has paid even passing attention to solid state …


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  1. pixl97

    TL;DR version

    So what we're saying here is that Woz is the pretty artwork at the museum at the Fusion-IO gallery?

  2. streaky


    I'm not the biggest Apple or Woz fan - but I think we can all agree on this: What the f**k.

    I mean really. Obviously the last thing you want to do is have your storage on a network. Oh wait, then your storage ceases to be useful.

    Don't understand why F-IO needs the hard sell anyways - if you need it you'll have heard about it so why are they wasting money?

  3. attoman

    Wait didn't Woz just put down the Cloud right here at the Register?

    Woz Waz Waxing strong on how that server based Cloud crap was nowhere.

  4. attoman

    Woz designed the crappy Apple I, better with Apple II - Disruptive? That's a load of Roo Poo

    Woz is dare I say it EYE Candy for those easily convinced by the Apple BS history of the PC and Graphics PC. He is a good guy who spread around the wealth and sought to teach kids instead of feeding his ego until it finally exploded him like his self-centered fellow founder Jobs.

    I hope this forgettable company FU-IO, which is unlikely to be long alive if they continue to waste marketing dollars on things like Woz shows is paying the great one wads of moolah so he live out his boyhood dream of life in the outback.

    As near as I can tell both by review of his issued patents and other communications Woz has followed others lead into the disruptive general classes but has never actually been a leader of disruption himself. But, hey he isn't dead yet!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    FFS Grow up, Woz is a legend, and now just someone to be a keynote speaker at the latest whatever it is gathering. Get over it. Your really believe that keynotes are at the SOA with a screw driver/rod and line or even a guide rope. They are keynotes..(the entertainment!)....move on nothing to see here

    1. streaky


      "now just someone to be a keynote speaker at the latest whatever"

      Except that's not why he was there, he was speaking on behalf of Fusion-IO - whom he works for - hence the line of questioning.

  6. jake Silver badge

    Steve ... Take it from a friend.

    Fucking retire, already.

    The entire flash & glam modern world isn't your cuppa. You are not a publicist. You never have been, you never will be.You have a pile of loot ... Retire to Bodega Bay, Tomales, or Marshal, just like you always wanted ... Works for me :-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What does Steve Wozniak do at Fusion-IO?

    Spend a lot of time at the Pie shop? Probably with John Prescott.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What does Steve Wozniak do at Fusion-IO?

      I bet he was disappointed when he opened the box of his Raspberry Pi.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't mean to be disrespectful...

    ... but in the picture, he looks like a smiling chimpanzee

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Da Woz?

    What would Steve Wozniak be without the likes of _The Register_? He is already a mere footnote in the history of computing. If news outlets like _The Register_ would have the courage to ignore him he would quietly vanish without so much as an audible whimper.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Da Woz?

      Why would you have people ignore him? He occasionally says things that aren't just the party line of a corporation (and is not overly convincing when he is repeating PR copy). Whether his ideas or reservations are right or wrong is irrelevant, since they can cause discussion. No one is jump off a metaphorical cliff at his say so, or buy kit without first doing their homework.

      He also stands as an example as someone who is in the industry because he genuinely enjoys making and messing around with technology, rather than just for the money. Some people might think a happy man is a better role model than a rich man.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Dave 126 Re: Da Woz?

        And what, pray tell has he actually done beyond running his mouth at opportune times in order to get the trade media's attention? Has he come up with any workable hardware or software? What has he done for us lately other than run off at the mouth? I can do that, for crying out loud, but who will pay attention to me? Are my pearls of wisdom any less valuable than his? Ignore me at your risk!

  10. Mage

    remind me

    Apart from the success of the Apple II what actually has Woz done since?

    P.S. I bought an Apple II

    But I had to add a real display card, a real keyboard, and proper disk 8" drives to do any real work other than a spreadsheet.

    We made a lot of money repairing the Aztec SMPSUs in ones under warranty for Dealers. I've sorted out HW & SW problems on other people's Macs, but never bought another Apple product.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The Apple Desktop Bus

      Was his next achievement - yeah, point taken.

  11. PassiveSmoking
    Thumb Down

    All the best engineers hate complexity. Kelly Johnson of Lockheed famously postulated the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid!) to highlight that simplicity is something you should strive for in a design.

    The simpler a system is, the better your chances of understanding how it works, the fewer things there are to go wrong with it and the less work you have to do to keep it running and functioning well. Complex systems tend to fall apart under their own weight.

    Any remotely competent coder can solve a programming problem, but the really outstanding ones can solve it in far fewer lines of code.

    It's true that these days he tends to serve more as a figurehead for the companies he works for, but attacking Woz for not liking complexity is simply ludicrous.

  12. Graham Bartlett

    Woz in the frame

    I can't decide whether he's Alvin

    or Boss Nass...

  13. masked_freetard

    Excellent stuff

    Good to see a return to form for the Register - bringing a healthy dose of scepticism to the world of lies and spin that is modern IT. Makes a nice change from simpering over Windows Phone. I am curious about the term "duchessing" however. Is this a Reg neologism?

    1. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects


      It is a measure of worth. Like double decker busses only for people. Like a blair is not worth a wank a very short one and a royal is worth two tits on a front page.

      A duchess is like five double decker buses mounting each other. They don't get anywhere they haven't been born but they are big and red and impressive.

      1. sam bo
        Thumb Up

        Re: duchessing

        Actually, it's a term used in Australia to describe what the poms used to do to visiting Australian politicians.

        You get them to do what YOU want, by wining, dining and generally impressing them with the the pomp and wealth of the mighty British Empire - then you knight them. Works like a charm with political hayseeds, and the poms are past masters of it.

        1. sam bo

          Re: duchessing


          duchess (third-person singular simple present duchesses, present participle duchessing, simple past and past participle duchessed)

          (UK, informal) to court or curry favour for political or business advantage; to flatter obsequiously. [quotations ▲]

          1956, John Thomas Lang, I Remember, page 64,

          On arrival in England he was “duchessed” in a manner that no Australian Prime Minister has ever been “duchessed” before or since. Northcliffe was looking for someone around whom he could build a campaign against Asquith. Hughes filled the bill nicely.


  14. Anonymous Job-holder
    Thumb Up

    Well Done Reg

    Thanks for sucking just a tiny bit of the suffocating fluff out of the system.

  15. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Thinking logically

    He is loud, well known and slightly rotund.

    So for distracting the public and hiding behind if a disgruntled employee starts shooting he is the obvious choice.

    Although making him fly on the corporate jet everytime they go to the Andes, and giving him his own barbecue sauce hot tub, is a bit tasteless.

  16. YankDownUnder62

    Woz in Oz

    Move to Balmain or Rozelle, mate. Great food, one bus to the Apple Store.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    His other appointments for the week included....

    A keynote speech at a Human Resources Conference...

    Yep, a room full of HR drones, where's the PFY when he's needed?????

  18. Goat Jam

    Love You Woz

    Just stick with being a cuddly teddy bear though, mkay?

    Oh, that's what you are doing?

    Carry on then.

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