back to article Last remaining reason to order an iPhone 5 disappears

OK, so it's well known that buying an iPhone 5 is a foolish decision if you want a fully-featured smartphone with any useful new technology in it (the new Apple phone isn't one, and doesn't have any). Also Steve Jobs actually died as the last one came out, so his followers would in many ways be disrespecting his memory by …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Euchrid

    Yet more iPhone linkbait

    Enought already.

    1. Erwin Hofmann
      Thumb Up

      Re: Yet more iPhone linkbait

      ... oh no, an article that spawns so much eloquence (frigid, crap, "for fuck sake", "steaming pile of shite", a-hole, "a cesspool of unsubstantiated bull") sure was worth be written ...

    2. N13L5

      Re: Yet more iPhone linkbait

      linkbait haha

      Well, he definitely nailed most people's reason for buying Crapple's crippled phones

  2. Andrew Lobban


    I'm all for amusing articles about phones from all makers, but what a load of shite this one was. Whether you are an apple fan or not surely all agree that this was worse than a non story.

    I know that anything with iPhone in the title is click bait and filling said article with deliberately provocative tripe will get the comments rolling in and hopefully someone might click on an ad or two, but for fuck sake please stop this crap. The Register used to be witty, critical and an often unmissable lunch hour read. Now, and especially in the last few months, it's worse than your average gossip mag. I need a new source of intelligent, critical and witty IT news...

    1. auburnman

      Re: Sigh

      Let's agree to downvote these articles and move on; we can stop giving them even the negative attention of complaining about them on the comments.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sigh

        > Let's agree to downvote these articles and move on; we can stop giving them even the negative attention of complaining about them on the comments.

        I concur. Wholeheartedly. I'm not even going to reply to say so.

    2. Shagbag

      a load of shite

      A particularly offensive, steaming pile of shite.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: a load of shite

        > A particularly offensive, steaming pile of shite.

        How's that new iPhone 5 working out for you?

    3. Danny 5

      Re: Sigh

      You know what, you're right! i'm as much of an Apple hater as you'll ever see and love it when they're torn another a-hole, but up untill now it's always been reasonably fair and balanced and most of it based on facts. This story however was bitter and offensive from the start.

      C'mon writers, you can do much, much better then this.

      That is however not to say that it didn't make me chuckle.

    4. LocoCoyote
      Thumb Up

      Re: Sigh

      I agree whole heartily......the Reg has become a cesspool of unsubstantiated bull and ill thought out "stories". They have fallen far indeed.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sigh

      Great article, love it :)

    6. Erwin Hofmann

      Re: Sigh

      ... try ...

    7. Jez Caudle
      Thumb Up

      Re: Sigh

      I got an iPhone 5 on launch day and was showing off in the Indian Takeaway that night - just as the article says!! My last iPhone was a 3G that stopped working eventually and I have been 2 years without one so I had good reason to get one. When I talk to 4S owners wanting to upgrade I ask why? "Because it's new" is the reply.

      I found the article both accurate and humorous. I'm starting to wonder if Lewis was in my take away on Friday and is writing about me.

    8. chris_law

      Re: Sigh

      I've been reading the Reg for over a decade, but I had to make an account just to upvote this. I understand (sort of) that this article - like so many on the Reg - was intended as tongue-in-cheek, but really it just comes off as pointless, the only people it appears to be ostensibly aimed at are those who buy the iPhone because it's the "coolest" phone... of which there are admittedly loads, but never in my life did I think that The Reg would be posting articles that supposedly pander to this brainless section of the market. I read the Reg because I'm fairly well informed on matters of technology, and I know what I want. And this sort of crap, is crap.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        IT Angle

        Re: Sigh

        Strip away the sarcasm and the story was that there were shipping delays in certain regions.

        Come on Auntie Reg... Which regions? How long? Etc...

    9. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I need a new source of intelligent, critical and witty IT news..."

      Try Ars Technica, less of the leery beery Daily Mail laddishness, and deeper/broader coverage of more areas of sci/tech- though less good for parochial box shifter news (which can be found elsewhere, if you want it).

  3. Cave Dweller

    Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

    What is this crap?

    1. Cave Dweller

      Re: Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

      One day I'll also review my spelling in the friggin' title as well as the body.

    2. No, I will not fix your computer

      Re: Buting a phone for all the wrong reasons

      >>What is this crap?

      I suspect that the crap is from "Buting" the phone, I hope you used lubricant.

  4. Smallbrainfield
    Paris Hilton

    Ha ha ha.

    Breathe slowly and deeply and keep reciting, "It's just a phone, it's just a phone."

    I used to be able to get excited about new technology, but successive gaming PCs have taught me this is folly. You are never ahead of the curve. And there are far more important things in life.

    Has Paris Hilton got hers yet? Fnarr fnarr.

  5. Gadget Rage is BAD

    Is this a reaction?

    To the pounding The Reg took for their overlay sugar sweet review of the iPhone 5 that now they're going to diss it at any opportunity? This is worse than some of the stuff the Droid Trolls post.

    Odd how your own reviewer seemed to think it was worth buying, nothing like consistency huh?

    1. FartingHippo

      Re: Is this a reaction?

      Or maybe, just maybe, Lewis lives under a bridge, and is scared of goats.

      1. JetSetJim

        Re: Is this a reaction?

        I'm scared of goatse, too...

    2. Ben Tasker

      Re: Is this a reaction?

      Hate to tell you this, but people have different opinions. It might be the reviewer is the only one in the office who think's it's worth buying, hell Lewis could be the only one that doesn't.

      This article was obvious clickbait, but one of the things I do like about El Reg is there's generally no 'Corporate line'. It's OK for one hack to love the iPhone and one not to. Do you really think media is made better when hacks are made to toe the corporate line (for example, The Sun is considered pro-Tory, so expect no real negative press regarding them)?

      The issue, really, is the number of article's we're seeing that appear to be designed to attract clicks. Not readers, clicks and impressions. That sucks.

      I'll generally read every comment posted when I read a story (bit obsessive like that), but the number of stories where the comments are of far more value than the piece itself is growing worryingly high. Sadly it's not all down to commentards posting some real gems, sometimes the 'story' is just pure shite.

      A little while ago I removed my ad-blocker as most sites I was visiting had started being far more subtle. The Reg in particular is really beginning to make me regret that decision though, so I suspect any impressions/clicks I might have generated will be disappearing shortly as I'm going to have to re-enable ABP etc.

      1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

        Re: Re: Is this a reaction?

        "the number of stories where the comments are of far more value than the piece itself is growing worryingly high"

        I think there's some sort of skew involved here. Here are my own quick thoughts on it.

        An article that everyone agrees with sadly generates little comment and people move on. It may be hard to add more value. No one remembers the comments on those.

        Articles that spark debate and polarise readers generate a lot of comments, as expected, and if you disagree with the writer then you're bound to find someone in the forum who agrees with your PoV - so suddenly comments "with more value" appear on your personal radar.

        Finally, all our writers are working as fast as possible to file their thoughts and findings in a timely manner before a story dies out. They may accidentally miss something or for whatever reason neglect to make a particular point. Hours after someone made the decision to hit 'publish', a thought may occur to someone reading the article and they post a comment. Value is added in the aftermath.

        Generally speaking, referring to nothing in particular, terms and conditions apply, your mileage may vary, etc.


        1. Danny 14

          Re: Is this a reaction?

          but it was just a rant not an article. The "reviewer" instantly assumed iphone owners had slavishly upgraded everytime. Perhaps (you know) someone didnt bother upgrading to a 4(s). Or maybe they dont have an iphone at all and want to get one. Sure deals can be had for lesser models but I wouldnt want to tell people to go and get a galaxy S2 over an S3, same with most tech.

        2. Ben Tasker

          Re: Is this a reaction?

          There will always be some skew, it's true. I don't generally rate the quality of comments based on whether they agree with my PoV though. Someone who makes solid points (even if I think they're wrong) counts as quality, as do those who make me spray coffee over my keyboard.

          What I mean, is that I'm finding there are more and more stories published where I'm finding the comments far more interesting than the article to which they are attached. El Reg still does some great stuff, but it's beginning to get quite heavily diluted with some low quality drivel.

          There's a definite skew in that a really polarising debate will draw me in, as you observe, but I do remember a time when there were decent comments on 99% of articles, largely because the quality of those articles inspired people to comment.

          As an example, let's take Mr Pott. He tends to delve quite deeply into a subject, which tends to make people comment to say "Actually, you're wrong about that bit" or "Bloody hell, hadn't thought about it that way" or even "Feck, haven't seen one of those in years". Articles that actually make people think, or perhaps give them a hint of nostalgia.

          Unfortunately, a lot of the content is starting to look like click-bait, or in some cases something El Reg is hoping to syndicate out to a less technically minded audience. There have been a number of stories in the past that feel the need to explain small details that surely everyone here knew.

          I appreciate that writers have deadlines to keep to, and the pressure is high, but IMO El Reg is perhaps publishing less than it has in the past, yet the quality is slipping dramatically. Is it a case of can't get the staff perhaps?

          Still, I'm not going to wander off just yet. Although the quality of the articles is abysmal in some cases, I do find the insights of other commentards can be quite enlightening from time to time, and there are occasionally some very good stories published.

          1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

            Re: Re: Is this a reaction?

            "There have been a number of stories in the past that feel the need to explain small details that surely everyone here knew."

            There lies the agonising balance between explaining too much and alienating very techy readers and filling an article with jargon and driving everyone else away. It's really, really difficult to do.

            Obviously with a story about, say, an IE exploit, you know programmers will read it so you can get down to the nitty-gritty. Really depends on the story. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with expanding the readerbase. How else will we pay the bills?

            Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece.


            1. Euchrid

              Re: Is this a reaction?

              "Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece."

              I had a quick tot up earlier and, including the Woz article, there were nine stories on the front page – two of which (the Woz one and this Lewis article, which I did find amusing) were also positioned on the right of the front page and in the top stories section. If you do publish 40-45 stories per day, then that’s 20% to just shy of 25% of today’s output.

              I don’t expect to love every piece – I know that from reading El Reg (and have the T-shirt, got the book… well, a couple of TBOFH ones) for ten years, but there’s fatigue setting in from so many iPhone and Apple stories – not just here but every blinking site.

              If the number of such stories wasn’t bad enough, it’s the content provided so many outlets – very little analysis or real news is offered. One outlet will report what another outlet said. Still, the headline will draw hits and readers will post with passion.

              I got into El Reg because I liked the irrelevant style, but there was opinion and news that wasn’t so easy to come by elsewhere – it might be me looking through rose-tinted spectacles, but I don’t get that so much these days.

              Speaking as an ex-hack, I don’t envy the El Reg team having to produce so many stories – but sometimes there’s a case for less being more.

            2. Ben Tasker

              Re: Is this a reaction?

              Also, I'd be surprised if we're publishing less. There's something like 40-45 articles a day most of the year. Forgive us if you can't love every piece.

              Perhaps then, I'm mistaken. I tend to work backwards from the front-page until I find a story I've previously visited (obviously ignoring visited links if I've opened it from the featured section 30 seconds earlier) or until I see a headline I recognise. Of course, as the front-page is no longer strictly chronological (we've all noticed certain articles being moved back up ;) ) it may be that I've been missing a bulk.

              Obviously with a story about, say, an IE exploit, you know programmers will read it so you can get down to the nitty-gritty. Really depends on the story. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with expanding the readerbase. How else will we pay the bills?

              I've no issue with you expanding your readerbase, but as you say there's a (difficult) balance to be struck. If you post too many simplistic articles, those of us after a serious technical read will wander off. If you make it too complex, those less technically inclined will wander off. I don't envy the task of striking that balance, but my issue is it currently seems to be tipping more towards the less technically minded in many respects.

              I love when the Reg gets satirical, and will find most things amusing (or at least see the humor), but there have been a few whether I've failed to see any humor and yet there's no indication of any other value in the article.

              1. TheRealRoland

                Re: Is this a reaction?

                Not every new article is posted on the homepage - look at the various 'category landing pages', there's many more articles appearing there.

                1. Ben Tasker

                  Re: Is this a reaction?

                  Ah, sneaky El Reg - hiding things!

                  Good chance I'll never see some of those then as I tend to take a quick scan of the homepage whilst waiting for something, then read through my assortment of tabs when I get a chance. Doubt I'll find the time to scan the other landing pages to, but it does rather answer the question of "where's the content gone?"

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    @ Ben Tasker

                    "I am going to town"

                    "I am an idiot *TOO*"

          2. Bob. Hitchen

            Re: Is this a reaction?

            Er that's the whole point of the article - to stir the broth. I've no interest in smart phones period over expensive short term junk which cannot be repaired or enhanced. Fools rush in where fools have been before is very apt here.

  6. Nic 3
    Thumb Down

    Terrible article is terrible

    I want my 2 minutes back. Seriously Reg what was the point in this?

    1. Tim Jenkins

      Re: Terrible article is terrible

      Perhaps, if looked at side on, it might make someone think of a teeny tiny aircraft carrier with no planes on it...

  7. Scott 2

    Annoy Apple fans - Check

    Mention a dead Jobs - Check

    Comment on iOS6 maps - Check

    Reference similarity to previous iPhone - Check

    My prediction is the post count reaching over 100 in about 2 hours. Enjoy!

  8. jungle_jim


    Apple are shit

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Anyway

      Maybe, but are they plural?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Anyway

        "Re: Anyway

        Maybe, but are they plural?"

        or not?

  9. Mahou Saru

    That is more like it, but...

    more mud at Apple please and less at the owners. They are suffering already, whether they know it or not :p

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But el reg was spraying jism everywhere in your iPhone review.

    What happened? Morning after regrets?

    1. oldredlion

      Re: But el reg was spraying jism everywhere in your iPhone review.

      "What happened? "

      Wanker's remorse.

  11. An-D

    What delay?

    Ordered from Three on Wednesday, delivered on Friday? Maybe you should stick to BAE bashing Lewis, it's what you're best at.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What delay?

      Does buying an iPhone take away your ability to read (along with all your other critical functions)?

      As Lewis said,

      "Exceptions to this exist - readers tell us that in some towns and cities one need not queue for days nor order online to get hold of the latest Jesus Mobe (typically the best move is to head for a cell-operator or other reseller retail outlet, as opposed to an Apple Store)".

  12. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?

    This article is a complete waste of space.

    It is just a phone that has good and bad points. Just like any Android, Symbian or windows device.

    Get over it.

    On second thoughts, if we send him to Lewis there might be a sudden migration to the mainland.

    1. EddieD

      Re: Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?


      I visit Lewis (and Harris) quite often.

      1. Peter Storm

        Re: Can we send Lewis to The Isle of Lewis and leave him there?

        Could send him to Rockall maybe.

        As the saying goes: "There's f**k all on Rockall"

  13. Pollo

    HAHAHAHA! Waiting for the fanbois to go booooom!

    That is all :)

  14. Reading Your E-mail

    Oh come on you lot

    Simple trick, look at the author, if it's Lewis you know it's going to be flamebait, that's what he writes.

    See his name, skip the article.


  15. cdilla
    Thumb Down


    It seems LP's cynosure is AO. Sad to see him moving further in that direction.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seems a bit weird that everywhere it has been reviewed it has gotten a 90 or 4/5 or 4.5/5 rating.

    It's almost like journalists know that a bad review will result in them being barred from future events and review hardware will not be provided.

    1. Myopic Aardvark

      Yeah, but as The Reg is already persona non grata at these events, what the hell was the point of trying to suck up now?

    2. playoldgames


      It might be a good phone.

  17. 1Rafayal

    No one has said Jesus Phone yet

    Or Jobsian Cult.

    A friend of mine compared the new Apple Maps travesty to a text adventure you would get on a micro in the 80's. Made me chortle.

  18. frank ly

    When I read an article by Lewis ......

    .... I have to use the dictionary more than with most writers here. Thank you for 'cynosure' Lewis. It's derived from the greek for "dog's tail".

    Now, what is the greek-derived word for "dog's bollocks", or just "bollocks"?

  19. Alex Walsh

    Time for a 2nd opinion review piece. Lewis, over to you.

  20. Turgut Kalfaoglu

    iphone users perceived as novices

    I regard iphone/ipad users as noobs - that is, people with too much money, too little knowledge.

    I assume the majority of the world feels the same way?

    1. Sander van der Wal

      Re: iphone users perceived as novices

      Only the stupid have more sense than money, because for smart people it is very easy to get more money.

  21. Chris 3

    Some's desperate for page views.

    Nuff said.

  22. Alan Denman

    Think of the future

    Obviously its an investment for 2020 when those good maps arrive.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    But I thought the article was funny.

    1. Afflicted.John

      Re: Sorry

      Yes. It was very funny.

      I suppose the problem is some of these articles are not meant to be taken seriously and others are news. There is little clear distinction in El Reg.

  24. Chris 171

    Click Bait Articles

    What of them, its all apples fault anyway...

    If they didnt continually shout so cringingly loud about their "revolutionary" 'fast' 'thinner' 'fast' 'amazing' 'revolutionary' 'fast' idevice, then they wouldn't be getting this from the media. Although, the apologists are now even more visible than before so thats no bad thing I guess.

    Any company releasing something so laughably shit deserves a peg drop or 10, it just feels better when its apple.....

    1. Jason Hall

      Re: Click Bait Articles @Chris

      So... temporarily ignoring the maps 'issue' I'm not really sure how anyone could call the iphone 5 a shit smartphone.

      OK, so there's no *new* amazing tech that no-one else has. So fucking what?

      It's still a very good smartphone, with a good battery, camera, tons of apps (including map apps & if desperate).

      It may cost a little more than an Android phone of the same spec. but since most people on here are supposed to be rich techies how does that matter? Go to the pub one less night a week and you'll easily cover the extra cost.

      Seems to me that there are a load of butt-hurt trolls here just foaming at the mouth/keyboard.

      My iphone 4 contract is now up, so I'm looking for a replacement - not because I *need* one, but because I would like something new and shiny to play with (a better camera would also be nice).

      I'm not sure whether I'll get an iphone 5, or try-out an Android/Windows phone... but if you're the average Android mouth-breather, then maybe I should stay with the 'media apologists' since at least they only need hand-holding rather than locking-up.

  25. Timmay

    iPhone 6

    Why don't they just allow you to pre-order the iPhone 6 now?

  26. ColonelClaw
    Thumb Down


    Good grief, this is almost as bad as reading that cretin who writes for the Inq.

    My iPhone is 2 years old, it's a 4 and I'm replacing it with a 5. My mum will then get my 4, having had my 3 for the last two years. It's time for a new phone for her, and a new phone for me. Nothing more complicated than that.

    I would guess I'm not alone.

  27. Anonymous Coward


    you forgot the obligatory photo of a herd of sheep - sorry a queue of eager 'geek' buyers waiting outside the Apple Store.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Agree with the Author there...

    Iphone was a game changer back then. Now its just evolving, albeit slower than the Android competition in terms of new ideas and offerings.

    Popped into the Apple store the other day to "have a play", with this new toy.

    Nothing overwhelming or strikingly new there. Good hardware, but NOTHING NEW OR REVOLUTIONARY OR CUTTING EDGE.! It seems Apple is now playing catchup.

    Get it Fanboys? You're getting a hard on over nothing, in this new i-thing.

    Now go home, fanboys and have a little shag.

  29. LPF
    Thumb Up

    I'm confused...

    for such a underspecced phone, why is there so much coverage of it on the reg, you dont have this sought of coverage for any other phone of manufacturer, not even samsung.

    Just admit it, if you could you would such the marrow bone out of Steve Jobgs John Thomas if he was still alive, it the only way to explain your infactuation with all things apple!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm confused...

      Underspecced? Erm how?

      NFC would be nice - but who actually uses it? Really?

      Erm... what exactly is it missing?

      It's the fastest smartphone on the market at the moment (obviously give it a week and it probably won't be), it has a great battery life, great camera, 4g, beautiful screen - not huge, but then not everyone is overcompensating for their tiny penis or need glasses to see small stuff.

      Just what exactly is it missing?

      1. Ben Tasker

        Re: I'm confused...

        NFC would be nice - but who actually uses it? Really?

        Apparently it's good for free train rides ;-)

  30. Cerandor
    Thumb Down

    Isn't satire supposed to be funny? Or at least involve some form of wit?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I heard the iPhone6 has NFC

    My Xperia S already has that, and panoramic 3D camera (12MP no less), fullHD, Retina+ display.

    OK, it's not got 4G, but then where I live, I'm not going to be seeing 4G for another 5+ years.

    And if I want to use Passbook instead of NFC, then I can do that too.

    So why would I want a iPhone that costs double the price of my Xperia S, and has lesser specs?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I heard the iPhone6 has NFC

      "I heard the iPhone6 has NFC

      My Xperia S already has that, and panoramic 3D camera (12MP no less), fullHD, Retina+ display.

      OK, it's not got 4G, but then where I live, I'm not going to be seeing 4G for another 5+ years.

      And if I want to use Passbook instead of NFC, then I can do that too.

      So why would I want a iPhone that costs double the price of my Xperia S, and has lesser specs?"

      It could be made of shite and the fannybois would still be singing it's praises. Why bother? Let them have an old mans phone. I'll stick to the one which is feature packed.

      And for those fannybois who say whats NFC for? THAT WHY YOU HAVE iPHONE!

      If it had NFC, it would be a selling point to you!

  32. pdebarra

    Excellent troll

    Well done, that man.

  33. TheDictator

    A big fat 0

    What is the point of this article. A waste of the authors time (I think unless he reallt does have nothing constructive to do) and definitely a waste of the readers time. Come to think of it, a total waste of my time writing this ...

    1. Omgwtfbbqtime

      Re: A big fat 0

      The point of the article is click-through, you know what el Reg and therefore Lewis get paid by advertisers for.

      I'd say Lewis hit his target market rather well.

      If you don't want to encourage articles like this don't click them and certainly don't comment on them.

      Jeez, it's not rocket science.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    shortage what shortage

    people have been reporting just being able to wonder into the phone shops and pick them up straight away. The marketing induced shortage, just seems to be marketing bullshit. Tell the world there's a shortage to further hype the fire, but make sure there are plenty of phones so you can take the money. One thing that even the most ardent of Apple bashers have to agree is that when it comes to making money, few, if any companies are in their league at the moment.

  35. Naughtyhorse

    "Many of us, frankly, don't get people paying attention to our thoughts ..."

    thats just cos you are mental on CC m8

    (and you dont say boffin anything like as much as you used to )

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Live and let live.

    People who buy iPhones are not automatically 'sheep' and people who buy Androids are not automatically 'merchant bankers'. People choose the phone that best suits them - and it seems to make a few people very angry.

    Imagine if this was in the street - would you walk down the road going 'you bought those f'ing trousers' and what is that heap of cr@p you are driving etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The sad thing is people do do that sort of stuff.

      They are usually called 'chavs' or 'a-hole kids' etc.

      Do you see the same overlap in the comments?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lewis please go back to writing about defence, nuclear or wind power please.

  38. Robert Ramsay

    Most amusing

    seems like it's not just the comments that need the option for a "Joke Alert" icon...

  39. Wam


    I hate the iPhone with a passion - but even I was embarrassed reading this

  40. Chris007

    nice use of [Original] Total Recall

    "Surely that's worth coughing up a few hundred measly dollars"

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Makes we want to go out and buy one ;)

  42. Big_Ted

    This story misses the point......

    The real story is that Apple will make some people wait up to 5 weeks.

    So thats 5 million orders and up to 5 weeks to produce them, so on the basis of them having been making them for a while before release they will not sale 50 million before the next one comes out as they can't make enough, more than 80 Million iphone 4 and iphone 4S sold, this would mean a drop of aroung 40% in sales and only just being better than 3G sales.

    Now thats a story for the Reg to post........

    ps who do I sned my analyst fees invoice to ?

  43. Anonymous Coward

    The last reason went 2 years ago.

    When they were no longer a status symbol, every chav owned one.

  44. chris_law

    Not to mention...

    That apparently Jobs (may he be restlessly refining heaven's technology) didn't work on the 4S at all, and spent his last months working on (what was known at the time as) the next iPhone. So... not only is this article retarded, it's also incorrect... Which is like the worst of the worst.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What shortage

    I spoke to the Apple guy heading the Q at the Aberdeen store he had hundreds of slips of card (One per phone) he denied the Jenga claim but assured me if I wanted one just to get in the Q ... at 11 am on Sunday there was 1 person in it, I went passed at 1 pm only 3 in the Q

  46. Justin 9

    A new iPhone every year.

    Apple have them sucked in.

    Device iphone iphone 3g iphone 3gs iphone 4 iphone 4s iphone 5

    Launch Price £269.00 £299.00 £349.00 £499.00 £499.00 £529.00

    Launch Year 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012

    Base model 4Gb 8Gb 8Gb 16Gb 16Gb 16Gb

    Launch price is based on base model.

    I believe these prices are correct.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Trivial strawman argument "everyone buying an iPhone5 does so to boost their poor self-image" to rouse the pre-supposed rabid Apple fan base; a group defined entirely by their supposed antagonists. I have read 10x more frothing anti-Apple articles than rabid pro-Apple evangelism.

    Frothy pro-Google articles (as I feel equally at liberty to pre-suppose all anti-iPhone5 must be) are, on the other hand ten a penny and funded by Googles cuddly map elves who are now all out of a job.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IdiotPhone and iOS are both crap. We know, users know it, the fucking world knows it.

    Most owners have one because their friends have said, "oh but look what iPhone can do".

    Friends with a droid can then say "yes, but it doesn't do this, I can't do that...."

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Actually, I have a very good reason for you to buy one..

    .. I'll buy the 4S off you. At a bargain price, of course. I need a spare.

    From 3GS to 4S was well worth it. And that phone does everything I need, so why on earth would I buy a new one? As for Android, mwah. Got one, don't use it. I may look again after the new Android release is out and stable, but for the moment, the 4S with iOS6 works for me.

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Nonetheless, there remains the fashionability/zeitgeist/hipness argument."

    If you really think the iPhone 5 fits this criteria, you are OLD. VERY OLD INDEED.

    iPhone is about as fashionable as a tramps trousers. It WAS. It's NOT ANYMORE!

  51. asdf072

    Best reason for iOS still exists

    How about an operating system not running in a VM? Until they rewrite it in C, Android is a joke.

  52. cphi

    keep away from IT

    stick to military/engineering mate. that's what we read your stuff for. market already plenty crowded with IT commentariat

  53. Anonymous Coward

    Look on the bright side

    At least Lewis can string a couple of words together, without primary school grammatical errors. When El Reg starts using Brid-Aine as clickbait writer-in-chief, it'll really be time to look elsewhere.

  54. JB

    Since when has etc. replaced a full stop at the end of a sentence?

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Who do these consumers think they are? Buying the product the prefer and not checking with the Register first for permission!

  56. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    None of these "smart phones" are very good phones. They have become mobile game platforms.

  57. Neil 34


    Great article. Telling it like it is.

  58. Snapper

    I remember Lewis when he didn't write drivel!

    Stick to what you are best at Lewis, baiting BAE and slagging off the RAF. Prostituting yourself like this for click-bait pieces of silver does not show you in a good light.

  59. Nameless Faceless Computer User

    yea right

    The iPhone 5 is the first iPhone which really lives up to the hype. I still wouldn't stand in line for one, but FedEx was nice enough to hand me one on Friday afternoon. It's fast, amazing, better everything. The power connector is a scam, tho.

  60. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    This is a new low for The Register, to call it drivel, would be unkind to drivel.. Something around "dismal, pointless toss", maybe.

    I don't care which small willy insecure gadget camp someone does or doesn't come from, this doesn't constitute journalism or even entertainment. Even Ms. Leach usually manages better than this, which is not a compliment.

  61. paulmeddler
    Thumb Up

    Iphone 5 reasons to buy

    Why have NFC when you have Passbook?

    Why have bigger screen when you have ipad/or any other tablet?

    Why have plastic when you can have aliminum?

    seriously its about personal preference and since launch iphone has never been the highest spec or even most reliable, but the Rolls Royce vs Buggatti argument is a similar compariosn

    Trouble is we all look for fault (Achilles heel syndrome) in the heroes and leaders in innovation

    Yes they dont invent but they do make your £500 invest look and feel like £500 well spent

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like