back to article Chase joins Bank of America in possible Islamic attack outage

The consumer website of JPMorgan Chase was unavailable on Wednesday afternoon, possibly due to the same hack attack that caused Bank of America to go intermittently dark on Tuesday after threats from a group incensed by the execrable Innocence of Muslims film that has caused turmoil in the Islamic world. "We're experiencing …


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  1. IglooDude

    The DoS attack on financial websites is about as relevant to their cause as a PETA whackjob (or Vegan, if you prefer) would be in setting fire to the pub down the road after watching a video showing some moron yelling derogatory insults at cattle in pastures.

    1. Christoph

      Or as relevant as the USA invading entire countries and killing people wholesale because someone else attacked them.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Amurrica, fuck yeah!

        Don't know why downvote.

      2. Bounty

        Christoph, if we killed people in other countries "wholesale," how do they keep suicide bombing Russians or anyone else, not brown enough when an Egyptian who became a US citizen makes a bad movie? Zombies? Magic? Time travel? If we're killing them "wholesale," why do we keep landing troops there? Wouldn't we just drop bombs indiscriminately instead?

        Also, is there some way to partially invade a country? Maybe you're saying it would have been OK if we only invaded parts of a country, as in occupy certain places there instead of everywhere? I think I would understand your comment better if you used more hyperbole. Wholesale entire complete massive hyperbole.

    2. Dylan Fahey


      " ...watching a video showing some moron yelling derogatory insults at cattle in pastures."

      So, YOU DID SEE THE MOVIE. I was waiting for a review. Thanks.

      The movie itself is terrible and no doubt in bad taste. I encourage everyone to see it. You can put it on your 10 worst list movies of all time.

  2. James O'Shea
    Paris Hilton

    Big deal

    I just tested Chase's site. It's down. Big deal, this is not the first time it's been down. It's not even the first time this year. Or, indeed, the first time this _month_.

    However, if I try to connect using the Chase app on my phone I get through with no problems whatsoever, same as the last time that the site was down. Odds are excellent that anyone who's got a smartphone and a Chase account will already have the app, just to get around the way that the site goes up and down like Paris' knickers. (When she wears any, that is.)

    Paris, 'cause, well, why not.

  3. Khaptain Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Every orchestra requires a conductor

    It seems like everyday we hear another story about some radical group performing some radical operation. It seems hard to believe that there is no conductor governing things.

    The big question lies in the fact that we do not know who the conductor is and we do not know how many orchestras are being conducted.

    Nothing feels sporadic, it's being orchestrated but not by the people that they want us to believe are orchestrating it, there is an underlying element but it's difficult to pinpoint.

    1. Matt Bryant Silver badge

      Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

      "......It seems hard to believe that there is no conductor governing things....." The clue is in the name - al-Qassam was the original Islamist terrorist, first figting and losing to the French in Syria in the '20s and then the Brits in the Manadate in the '30s. This "brave warrior's" attempts at fighting the British usually revolved around trying to murder unarmed Jewish farmers. His other claim to fame was being best buddies with the Mufti of Jeruslaem (the one that was best buddies with Adolf Hitler) and getting his gang and himself shot dead by the local British police. Whilst the Palestinians and Lebanese tell some great tales about this "martyr's" final shootout the truth is he scarpered after his group were suspected of killing a local policeman, hid in a cave, then was shot when he refused to surrender. I'm guessing this is a a Lebanese group as it's unlikley the Palestinian telecoms have the bandwidth to use for a cyber-attack.

      1. FrankAlphaXII

        Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

        I was thinking the same thing, it could be Palestinian or Lebanese. But it might be Syrian also, al-Qassam is a hero to all three peoples due to his resistance against the French, British, and the Mandate's Zionists.

        Its most likely a Hamas wing in one of the Refugee Camps in Lebanon or Syria. If it has anything to do with the Middle Eastern geographical area at all.

        My biggest problem with this pastebin post is that its in English, and its fairly well written. But the capitalization in the name Izz ad-Din al-Qassam isnt right, nor is the punctuation. In Romanized Arabic, all of the punctuation marks and capitals mean something, and it would be disrespectful toward a "Martyr" to misspell his name.

        Its almost as if Arabic is nowhere near their first or second language. Very interesting.

        1. FrankAlphaXII

          Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

          Also, "Allah is the Greatest" is very strange to anyone familiar with Arab terrorists. Its too proper, and its not a correct translation of the "Allah Akbar!" war cry. Also, proper Islamic terrorists could give fuckall about other religions.

          Dollars to donuts they're from the Anglosphere. Israelis wouldnt be so sloppy.

          1. Khaptain Silver badge

            Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

            <quote>Dollars to donuts they're from the Anglosphere. Israelis wouldnt be so sloppy.</endquote>

            Keyword = Anglosphere.

      2. solidsoup

        Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

        As to the origin of the attack, I would guess Turkey.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

      That's the best conspiracy theory I've heard today.

      You're Dan Brown, right? I wish to claim my prize.

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

        Nope, Dan Browns' teacher.

        Your prize for today shall be to read the Greek version of Fifty Shades of Grey.

    3. solidsoup

      Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor

      It's exactly like that! However, it's not as mysterious as you think. The conductors are are well known to our intelligence agencies and those who actually look beyond the media reports. I'll name a few in no particular order:

      1. ISI - Pakistani Intelligence

      They are the ones who created Taliban as a force against India and to wield power over Afghan territory. ISI also has extensive cooperation with Haqqani network and Al Qaeda. After all, they sheltered bin Laden for years. The terrorism that's happening daily in Pakistan are the chickens coming home to roost. US and India better have a plan to secure their nuclear stockpile because this is going to get a lot worse.

      2. Iran

      Iran has for years financed Hezbollah and Hamas to the tune of billions of dollars, as well as dozens more obscure terrorist groups. Hezbollah particularly is being used as deterrent against Israeli strike on Iranian nuclear program. They have stockpiled 10,000 grad missiles that would be used against Israeli civilian population centers, should a strike take place. Interestingly, Hamas has recently fallen out of favor because of their refusal to come out in support of Bashar Assad. Instead, Iran increased financing to Islamic Jihad and Bedouin groups in Sinai desert in Egypt. Thus recent attacks against Egyptian army, UN peacekeepers, and Israeli checkpoints. Hamas (same guys who brought you the initial wave of suicide bombings in 1990s) is now fighting to prevent attacks against Israel, as it stands the most to lose from Israeli retaliation. The irony is palpable.

      3. Al Qaeda

      Though largely eliminated in Afghanistan and Pakistan, they're have grown tremendously in North Africa and Arabian Peninsula. They've been distracted recently by the civil wars in Lybia, Yemen and Syria (where they are still fighting Assad). However, if the attack in Libya is any indication, that distraction is fading.

      4. Muslim Brotherhood

      People behind Hamas and the current Egyptian president Morsi. They are the largest Muslim org and have both political, charity, and militant arms. They depend in large part on donations from Muslims in the West, so try to avoid stirring up trouble directly, instead keeping and organization of ostensibly independent small militant groups that would do their bidding. Don't get along with Wahhabi Islam as promoted by Saudi Arabia.

      5. Saudi Arabia

      This is the singular source of the rise of modern Islamic extremists. While mostly responsible for spreading Wahhabi ideology and paying handsomely to anyone who does, rather than any terrorist acts (identity of 9/11 hijackers not withstanding), it has been the impetus behind the entire wave of Islamic extremism. Most Islamic fundamentalist groups (excluding Shia ones) can be traced to some Saudi cleric. Unfortunately, we don't confront it directly because we buy oil from them.

      6. Good musician don't need a conductor.

      There are a good number of Muslim leaders who, while being moderate themselves, know where their loyalties lie and know better than to go against "the street." This is why there is seemingly a high degree of coordination. You will notice that most Muslim governments condemned the movie, but few condemned the embassy attacks. This also applies to Turkey, which wants to be in the EU!

      7. Mix it all together.

      All the groups actually hate each other. Saudi Arabia is the Sunni power center and they hate Iran (Shia power center). The current conflict in Syria is actually about that. Syria is ruled by Allawites who are Shia, but majority of the population is Sunni. Pakistan in an explosive mix of both, hence the attacks. And ALL of them together hate Jews and Americans. This is also why Iran can't be allowed to have a nuclear weapon. The moment it does, Saudi Arabia will get one too. Then Turkey and Egypt. Of course, people who don't know history, geography, politics, and science will argue that Iran has an inherent right to a nuclear weapon because US has one.

    4. Mephistro
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor (@ Khaptain )

      We're not sure even whether the conductor is a Muslim. I mean, the mofos who made and financed that crappy videoclip may have been trying to obtain exactly this kind of outcome, i.e. bigger tension between the West and Muslims, with all the Muslim bigots, Muslim governments and Muslim terrorist groups jumping onboard for their own -and varied- interests.

      If I were of the paranoid type, I wouldn't discard that the conductor is some official agency-or even private company- interested in keeping tensions high. As an example, how could you seriously affect oil prices spending only a few thousand $s? Financing some 'insult to Islam' or another. How could you justify starting another war? This method is far better than the Tonkin Gulf incident, and harder/impossible to probe.

      1. solidsoup
        Black Helicopters

        Re: Every orchestra requires a conductor (@ Khaptain )

        The reality is almost always more complex and interesting than the conspiracy theories. It really wasn't about the movie. Here is what actually (as well as I can discern it) happened:

        0. The clips from Innocence of Muslims make the rounds in Egyptian media on 09/08 and 09/09. While their appearance in Egyptian media could've been planned, note that no demonstrations occur on those dates.

        1. Muslim extremists celebrate 9/11 as they do every year by protesting. This year demos are particularly rowdy as Egyptian and Libyan authorities, who should know about these things in advance do nothing to make US embassies off limits. Some actually do protest Innocence of Muslims as it was in the news in Egypt recently.

        2. An al Qaeda-affiliated cell uses this as a perfect cover to conduct an attack in Libya on poorly secured consulate. This indicates there was likely a signal to affiliated imams to increase attendance at the protests and swell the numbers.

        3. Before the details on Benghazi attack are known, US embassy in Egypt releases a statement effectively apologizing for the movie. A highly unusual move and unlikely to be done without authorization from State Dept. I speculate that this was done with the intention to deflect the attention from the fact that its 9/11. A huge protest at US embassies looks bad for Obama's poll numbers. After all, he caught a lot of flack for siding with Arab Spring protests in Egypt and Libya. US public is sensitive to 9/11 and Republicans would jump at the opportunity.

        4. Media picks and regurgitates the line about Innocence of Muslims being the trigger for the protests (never mind that timeline is wrong - see 0). Continued mention of the movie by State Dept. and White House keep it the focus of media reports. It's a weird thing to do, as continued mention of the alleged trigger is pretty daft.

        5. On Sept 12 this is picked up by Arab satellite channels and the social networks. Since the movie is now widely assumed to be the trigger for the protests, it becomes the center of the news story. Secondary and tertiary protests occur as the this spreads to new countries. This time people are protesting the movie.

  4. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

    Downvote me all you like...

    It is long past time that the entirety of the radical fundementalist Islamic world gets disconnected from the rest of society.

    Unplug them from the Internet and all Telecommunications so they get the point of what they do. Jam all radio and TV. Even better, broadcast sermons from the idiot preacher who started all of this until they can't take it anymore. Change routers so they are stuck in the walled garden they prefer and no incoming or outgoing traffic.

    Stop sending them any kind of financial aid and prevent them from having access to banks in the West.

    If they can't communicate with anyone especially where their money is, maybe they'll get the point BEFORE the Israeli's or other Military Industrial Complex leaders take things a step too far.

    Romney and the republicans want to criticise Obama for taking it slow. Republicans are itching for a full blown Nuclear war in the Middle East.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

      I was about to upvote you for your sentiment that they should be disconnected for being an obnoxious, hate-inciting religion, but then I read this -

      "Stop sending them any kind of financial aid"

      "prevent them from having access to banks in the West"

      - are you kidding?? Do you really think if the yanks didn't desperately want their oil that they'd bother interfering there? The 'merikans are not running a charity operation, they are running whoever they need to into the ground in order to remain on top;

      1. solidsoup

        Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

        This is exactly about the oil, but still downvoted. As fashionable as it is to blame Yanks, EU buys significantly more oil from Muslim countries than US does. In fact, Libya conflict was mostly done by France, UK, and Italy because that's where you guys get a lot of your oil. US was a reluctant participant because none those countries could handle military logistics.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

          "EU" is not a country.

          1. solidsoup

            Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

            ""EU" is not a country."

            Not yet. Though if debt mutualization proceeds, that's not far off for Eurozone. More importantly, however, EU is a common market. Wait a second, what was your point exactly?

    2. badmonkey

      Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

      >>> radical fundementalist Islamic world gets disconnected from the rest of society.

      They already are, or close to it, and want nothing more.

      Did you know that

      - Greece annually translates five times more books from English than the entire Arab world

      - the total number of books translated into Arabic in the last THOUSAND years is less than those translated in Spain PER YEAR ?

      The solution isn't to enable the Islamists, but to broadcast loud and clear all that we have to say, and to have no respect for cries of "insult" and "offence".

      1. sed gawk Silver badge

        Re: Time for a Radical Muslim Disconnection

        Might have something to do with the fact English and French are taught nationally in Egyptian schools (perhaps other Arab countries as well)

  6. R 16


    Dear banks. Hire a real security guy lol.

    If your IT cant beat a DDOS, they suck.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Until they apologise

    Well, while people are being told to apologise for something they didn't personally do then I would like to take the opportunity to apologise for all Islamic fundamentalist action throughout the world. I'm very very sorry for it all.

    Oh, and all the American and Israeli interference in everyone's shit and the Russians& Chinese being generally sneaky. Furthermore I'd like also to personally apologise for the OCD-sociopathic behaviour of Apple corp and Monsanto.

    There. That's really made everything better for everyone, hasn't it.

    1. peyton?

      To your point

      I thought it an odd request too. I would actually be more insulted to receive an apology from someone completely unconnected to whatever the apology is for. The word "disingenuous" instantly springs to mind.

  8. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Innocence of Muslims"...

    is an oxymoron by the sound of it.

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