Readers: Choose the proper new name for Everything Everywhere

Everything Everywhere is looking for a new name, and El Reg readers haven't been backwards in coming forwards with suggestions so we present a poll from which you can pick the best. Orange and T-Mobile, the consumer brands run by EE, will (we're told) continue to exist, and they'll be no more EE shops, but the parent company …

[h4rm0ny]

Something Sometimes.

The others are good but the above is the only one that is both funny and wont confuse newcomers or those who don't spend every day hanging out on El Reg.

[Bob Vistakin]

For when they sell WP8

Excrement Everywhere.

[Steve Knox]

@h4rm0ny

...wont confuse newcomers...

Why should that suddenly be a goal now?

[JayBizzle]

I'm sticking with Tange!

For TOWIE fans everywhere

[Jeebus]

C*nts.

[Anonymous Coward]

How about

The bunch of c**ts who put a 15m mobile mast at the bottom of my garden despite local protests and the "independent inspector" fleeing when it all kicked off losing everyone about £15-30k off their house price, who are now going to f**k our tv signal too.

[AlbertH]

Re: How about

A 15m mast? You'll now get good mobile connectivity in your immediate neighbourhood.

It will only affect house prices if the people buying are the stupid technophobes that you really wouldn't want to sell your house to, anyway.

If it affects your TV signal in any way, either your aerial installation is deficient or your TV is faulty - both YOUR problems.

Enjoy your improved mobile service!

[Wyrdness]

Why wasn't Orabile in the poll? It seems perfect to me.

[Anonymous Coward]

Since this isn't Slashdot, let's all complain about the limited choices.

I would have liked "Orabile Tang" even better. *holds nose*

[Michael Strorm]

What happened to Orabile and T-Mange?

Yeah, I would have voted for "Orabile" too. Either that, or the other suggestion from the same user (bluesxman), "T-Mange".

http://forums.reghardware.com/user/2738/

[Greg J Preece]

Delightfully Childish

I am signing every e-mail I send today with that. :-D

[Greg J Preece]

Re: Delightfully Childish

Hello, person who takes time out of every week to thumb down every comment on my recent posts page. Yes, I have noticed you. You really are the saddest of bastards.

[Anonymous Coward]

How exactly do you know who voted you down?

How can you have any certainty if it's the same person any time?

(Incidentally, this is my favourite argument for posting anon. People can only argue with the opinions you express and your grounds for expressing them, not just because they hate you personally for some arbitrary reason. Suck on that, tleaf100 [not your real name]).

[Greg J Preece]

Re: How exactly do you know who voted you down?

I'll agree that's an assumption, but it's preferential to the possibility that there's more than one pathetic toolbox who will disagree with my opinion on something and then go through my profile just to be as petty as possible.

[kempsy]

How about "Anything, Anywhere" because mobile telephony should be just that easy. Paris as she agrees.

[Caerdydd_Mike]

Mostly Marketing Muppets

Funny I should receive a marketing SMS bigging up

how its now twice as fast to upload Farcebook photos thanks to continued investment. A blatant lie in a number of areas in Cardiff. Even a struggle to get more than half a twig in Starbucks outside the Orange Shop.

[Jeff Dalmer]

Re: Mostly Marketing Muppets

was about to say i wouldn't mind getting 3g first in cardiff but you made the point before me.

[Jon Double Nice]

Call it "WHAT THE WHAT NOW?"

which MUST BE SHOUTED.

Or, the opening bit of the old Grange Hill theme music, 'wawa wa wow'.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Call it "WHAT THE WHAT NOW?"

Got that fucking theme tune stuck in my head now.

[Anonymous Coward]

Inspired by Grange Hill...

Just say no.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Definitely Maybe" :P

[IglooDude]

Oh jeez.... "Call Me Maybe"? They even have a catchy theme song ready for them, then. *shudder*

[TeeCee]

All wrong.

It'll be something made up, with far too many "X"s and "Q"s in it, accompanied by the obligatory spiral logo.

There will be much comment on exactly which type of regurgitated curry going down a plughole the logo is reminiscent of.

[Haku]

I propose "!!!" as the new name,

An idea taken from a (sadly short lived) tv show called The Middlemen, there was an energy dink simply called !!! (just three exclamation marks) and to pronounce it you stamp one foot on the floor and at the same time put your hands palm outwards as if you were saying "ta-da!"

[Richard 100]

Orabile .... "All your 4G belong to Us!"

Nuff Said,...

[Anonymous Coward]

What's wrong with Minge?

[John Smith 19]

Nothing.

Which makes it a *very* bad name for this shower of s**t.

[wowfood]

OrangeT

Is my personal fave.

[Anonymous Coward]

I, Rearrangement Servant.

The Internet Anagram Server has some nice suggestions, including "Terminable Goo", "Relegation Mob", and "Garble Mine Too".

[Anonymous Coward]

Simply...

Acronym Orange T-Mobile to OTM then we can think up alternative names from that.

[Feldspa]

I have also been calling it "Orange T"since it was announced.

[John Smith 19]

*all* excellent choices

I especially like "?" as shorthand for the what-you-expect-them-to-give-good-reception-everywhere-and-decent-data-rates whine that some PFY behind the counter at a phone shop is indicating by that helpless/useless shrug.

Nut "something sometime" is a bit too honest for an *actual* marketing campaign.

However "Anything anywhere" might be what *they* themselves would prefer.

[Graham Marsden]

I think you'll find...

... that Rampant Rabbit has already been trade marked by Ann Summers Ltd...!

[Crisp]

Re: I think you'll find...

It's not trademark infringement if it's in a completely different area of business!

Ann Summers clearly sells stuff that you can go fuck yourself with.

Everything Everywhere... well...

[mhoulden]

Re: I think you'll find...

If you're using an Ann Summers device for making phone calls, it might be an idea to reread the instructions. Certainly adds a whole new meaning to the idea of giving someone a ring as well.

[Ken Hagan]

Re: I think you'll find...

I thought it was Ubuntu 13.04.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Very little, hardly anywhere"

[Anonymous Coward]

how about "d'Artagnan" (as in 'one for all [4G]' )

or "fourgone"

[Anonymous Coward]

d'Artagnan not valid ...

... owing to the entire lack of the reciprocal 'and all for one'.

[Mike Smith]

Everything Everywhere Else

[Conrad Longmore]

Magenta Telecom

Magenta Telecom.

http://www.magentatelecom.com/

[/dev/null]

Some suggestions...

I think it's definitely time for another company called Tangerine. Since T-Mobile's colour scheme is pink (or magenta?), and Orange is obviously orange, it seems apt.

Either that or TOM (T-Orange-Mobile).

Or possibly T-Orange-Mobile Telecoms and Information Technology (TOM TIT).

I'll think I'll stop there.

[Handler]

How about UbiQ -- pronounced You BIK -- as in ubiquitous -- everything, everywhere.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well how about spelling it how it was meant to be spelled.

As in 'Ubik', as in the Phillip K. Dick novel that so many people first took their online handles from. (Me included, but that was back in the 80s.)

[Anonymous Coward]

Eve E

'thing 'ware

[Tapeador]

In the vein of kebab shop naming tradition, what about

A1 Britain Best Mobile

Or possibly, per taxi firms looking to be top of the yellow pages results:

A1 Aardvark Mobile?

[MrZoolook]

They should just...

... put the words "I've tried" in front of the current name.

"I've tried everything everywhere" keeps the now well known name brand completely intact, as well as conveying their average customers cries when they can't get reception.

Paris because she's had everyone everywhere.