back to article Everything Everywhere to be Nothing Nowhere in rebrand

Everything Everywhere will change its identity before the end of 2012 - but will NOT merge its Orange and T-Mobile brands, which will continue to confuse punters indefinitely. Orange and T-Mobile are, and will remain, consumer brands for Everything Everywhere, the UK's largest mobile operator. EE will announce a new moniker in …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Because fuck you, Three

    1. dotdavid
      Thumb Up

      Re: Four

      Perhaps then O4 to raise their middle fingers at O2 too...

      1. LinkOfHyrule

        Re: Four


        Gets one over on all the competition!

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Re: Four

      well if you dont like three,f..k off over to someone else to be ripped of by,probably for twice as much for a service that wont be twice as good,nobody holding shotgun to yer head.

      there are things i hate about three,but then i dont expect rolls royce build when paying ford prices,if your one of the lucky ones who actualy get a decent signal on three,then yer getting a great deal,if like me you get a shite signal on three then its not such a great deal,but why would i pay orange etc 4 times as much just to get the same crap service as three,have tried all the networks in my bit of watford multiple times over and over again,their all crap,its just others charge much more for same crap service.

      due to geography,i wont get decent signal from anyone until a new tower is put up in a different position,its one of the problems with having a ground floor flat that is built into a hill side,if we could talk three into fitting local femtocell i would get great signal,but as the problem is very localised and only affects about 300 properties,its just not worth it for economic reasons.yes,its bloody annoying,but nobody comes round my flat with a baseball bat and forces me to give three £15 a month.

      as stated above,if you dont like three,piss off else where,or are you one of the whiners who can shift 30gb+ a month but dont like threes crud customer service,try orange,i had to threaten to blow down their tower to get them to stop billing my bank,4 months after having been through their cut off dept,that would have netted them £240 quid and i was'nt even able to use phone,i had them lock it as stolen,and phone number had been killed and put back into their system for several years and sim itself had been returned as well.

      when you find a provider that gives you everything you want,at a price you think is fair,let the rest of us know,there are a few others as well as myself who would move over rapidly.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Four

        I'd settle on somebody that doesn't spy on my every move online as well as double traffic to the websites I visit thanks to their stalking. Both Vodafone and 3 and their US friend Bluecoat seem to enjoy getting involved in this side of things...

      2. G_C

        Re: Four


        I think you've completely missed the point of this whole thread with that rant and made yourself look a bit silly...

        Just saying...

  2. Callam McMillan

    Something Somewhere Somehow?

    I know it's not the shortest or snappiest, but it describes what I think of them.

    1. Andy ORourke

      A good start though..........

      Maybe shorten it it S3?

      1. elgeebar

        Re: A good start though..........

        It won't work... an S3 is a shit, shower and shave... then again!

    2. That Steve Guy

      Something Somewhere Somehow?

      ...Someone's gonna pay!

      Oh wait that was the tagline for Commando. Send in Arnie.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      With a strat line...


      "Never knowingly provided Customer Service"

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Lee Dowling

      No. Please. Don't.

      O <sub>2</sub> is bad enough, without people trying to subvert numerical powers to make their brand sound cool.

      If that was the case, I think we should vote:

      e-Mobilitative Inter-Facilities Solutions mc^2 Inc. Ltd. PLC. GmbH.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        How about 'compu-global-hyper-mega-net'? (with apologies to the script writers of the Simpsons)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Empty Promise

    The article states that Everything Everywhere is essentially an empty promise so I would like to suggest that as its new moniker.

  5. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    GPO 2.0

  6. Justicesays


    Doesn't sound that snappy, but you could paint Mr T orange and use him as your spokesperson.

    Which would provide immediate brand recognition in the over 30s!

    1. wowfood

      Re: Orange-T

      And when you buy a phone you get a free box of orange flavoured tea..

      1. Oninoshiko

        Re: Orange-T

        and give out orange tee shirts!

        They may even have some left over...

    2. Danny 4

      Re: Orange-T


  7. Arbee

    For the northern markets, especially Yorkshire, it could create a portemanteau of it's 2 brands : t'orange.

    1. g e

      But surely...

      'EE By Gum' for the northists

    2. Andrew James

      Wouldnt work

      A: What network tha on?

      B: t'orange.

      A: Am on't t-mobahhhl me, ats oreet, a dunt get signal on t'orange near are 'ouse

      B: t'orange is t-mobahhhhl an t'orange but all bunched up like

      A: wo tha onnabout now?

      B: forgerrit, lets goo and gerra pint o'ruff dahhn woolpack eh

  8. Admiral Grace Hopper

    Something Somewhere (But Not Here)

    1. Robert Ramsay

      I salute you!

      For managing to get a Porcupine Tree reference into a telecoms story!

  9. Nathan 13

    "Mr Blobby mobile"

    Well he is good colour match for the two networks.

  10. Chris Miller

    Sirius Cybernetics Corp

    Or is that already taken?

  11. Mike Brown

    Torange. simple

    1. Alister

      or you could drop the "n" and move the "e"

      Toe rag

    2. Paul 135


      1. TRT Silver badge


        I know - Banana! Banana-phone!

        I've even thought of a jingle for the ads.

  12. Kevin Perry

    Poor service

    Because that's what they currently offer.

  13. Big_Ted



    LTE Me Up Scotty

  14. Big_Ted


  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about "The Goodies -- anything, anywhere, anytime"

  16. Blunderbuss

    Nothing Everywhere

    1. Fihart

      Nothing Everywhere ! Genius.

      Anything up to five bloody mobile phone shops per high street replacing former useful stores. What do they offer ? Essentially identical phones and tariffs sufficiently mixed up to make choosing a pain in the ass.

      Everywhere and nothing indeed.

  17. Colin Brett


    "Not As Bad As Virgin"


    1. Badvok

      EE is the same network as Virgin!

      Amazing how so many people don't get this.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: EE is the same network as Virgin!

        "Virgin Mobile does not maintain its own network, and instead has contracts to use the existing network of Everything Everywhere. "

      2. Colin Brett
        Thumb Up

        Re: EE is the same network as Virgin!

        I knew Virgin sublet their network I just didn't realise it was from EE. Thanks for the clarification.


      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: EE is the same network as Virgin!

        No surprise. lots of Virgin are based on some other company doing half the work on the quiet and the beardie smiler contributing the brand

        Virgin Trains (real name "West Coast Trains Limited" - Stagecoach Group

        Virgin Credit card - MBNA Europe

        Virgin Finance - started with Norwich Union

        Virgin Atlantic - Singapore Airways

  18. simlb


    That is all.

  19. bluesxman

    Perhaps a portmanteau?



    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Paris Hilton

      I've brought up another one pardon the pun

      Orange Bile

  20. Imsimil Berati-Lahn

    New name for EE?

    They should just call themselves ZTE and be done with it because that's who will own all the comms companies in 10 years time anyway.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A name that strikes fear in evildoers

    Is g4s taken?. thats a popular and respected sounding name.

  22. Anonymous Coward


    Clockwork-Orange, says it all.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To borrow from The Simpsons

    How about CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet?

  24. Wayland Sothcott 1

    Heisenberg Mobile

    You can have everything somewhere and something everywhere.

    You can't have everything everywhere.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Heisenberg Mobile

      How about Schrödinger-Heisenberg Mobile

      Your phone may or may not have a signal until you look at it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Heisenberg Mobile

        Oo oo oo, just thought of another one.





      2. Dr. Mouse

        Re: Heisenberg Mobile

        "Your phone may or may not have a signal until you look at it."

        Or you may know where your phone is OR whether it has signal, but not both at the same time

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Heisenberg Mobile

        Our until your smarter than you thought cat takes it out of that funny, hermetically sealed, gas-tight box...

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Heisenberg Mobile

        Or it may not have a signal because that, far smarter than you thought, cat has put it in that strange, gas-tight, hermetically sealed metal box...

  25. Big_Ted
    Thumb Up


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      yes. because soon that will be the only handset choice.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Cloud Company

    Well, of all the various companies pushing the cloud, I thought that as they actually deal in mobile communications that go over the airwaves, they might have more right than most in the IT sector, to use that kind of name.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    ran by monkeys for monkeys.

  28. Bodestone


    Just because.

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      On that basis

      Why not 'Bodestone'?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cinzano Bianco

    Promises "anytime, anyplace, anywhere" but you knowthe advertising won;t live up to the reality..

    1. g e

      Re: Cinzano Bianco

      Martini, then

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cinzano Bianco - Martini Mobile

        Shaky and not stirring...

    2. LateNightLarry

      Re: Cinzano Bianco

      Promises "anytime, anyplace, anywhere" but you know the reality won;t live up to the advertising...

      There, fixed that for yer...

      Since El Reg hasn't seen fit to provide a glass of wine for me, I'll have to substitute a flagon of horse piss instead... I WANT a glass of a good Cabernet Sauvignon...

  30. Trollslayer
    Thumb Down


    Not a title, the new name.

  31. Badvok


    Since they might be the only network available for a while that can support a 4G iPhone 5

  32. mhoulden

    Before Hutchison set up Orange they had a much less powerful network called Rabbit. It's actually not a bad name for a phone network so I think they should use it as a basis for the new name. However it needs to show the confidence of a much more powerful network and changes in technology. I therefore suggest Rampant Rabbit.

  33. Jason Hindle


    Since Orange were famously the network that liked to "simplify" things for their subscribers.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Maybe with 4G they MIGHT get the actual network capacity right... Only Three seems to have enough network capacity to actually provide a service at 3G speeds!!!!

    All the rest fail to provide a decent speed & allowance even on 3G!!!

    1. dogged

      AC's exclamation mark button is stuck OR he/she is really, really excited about Three.


  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    marketing types

    how someone thought up everythingeverywhere and got it the thumbs up tells you everything you need to know about marketing.

  36. Z80

  37. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge


    If I was feeling rude, I might suggest that they've already changed their name to Ofcom.

    That would explain how they managed to end up with a 4G monopoly - seemingly without having to give anything away...

    Otherwise we need to consider the full gamut of management consulting wisdom. So we need a 'q' in there, preferably without it's customary companion 'u'. Some cod latin, or greek. Numbers and punctuation are the coming thing in CEO-chique, so how's about:


    My apologies for any damage I've done to your readers' eyes with that abomination. If anyone's interested, my services can be hired, please apply to:

    I ain't Spartacus

    Gizajob Media5.0 Consultancy


    Silicon Roundabout

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about

    Up Yours

    After Orange's customer service and their predeliction for screwing up perfectly good phones, with their bloody branding, usodding seless apps and non-removable games trials.*

    * Yes, I know you could root and re-ROM, but that's not for the Joe in the Street.

  39. Gerard Krupa

    Something Smooth and Buttery

    I Can't Believe it's Not Unlimited Data

  40. wowfood

    How about

    'Jozxyqk' or perhaps 'kwyjibo'

    1. JamHead
      Thumb Up

      Re: How about

      But isn't 'Jozxyqk' a cat word for getting your gentleman's area trapped inside something?

      Yay for Red Dwarf.

  41. Afflicted.John

    OK, think of great, fast speedy words. Dynamic words. Words in italics.

    Ford Cortina.

    Yep. Call themselves Ford Cortina.

  42. squilookle

    The Phone Company Formerly Known as Everything Everywhere.

    And if that's not catchy enough, then they should call themselves ~

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: The Phone Company Formerly Known as Everything Everywhere.

      The artist formerly known as Prince,

      While on stage, used to posture, and mince.

      Then just for a giggle,

      Changed his name to a squiggle.

      And nobody's heard of him since.

      (with thanks to either Barry Cryer or Graeme Garden)

  43. Omgwtfbbqtime

    Share and Enjoy!

    or more likely the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My Eureka moment suggests

    T-Mobile + Orange = Tango!

    (See what I did there ;-))

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: My Eureka moment suggests

      OranGE + T-moBILE

      GET BILE

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wireless Tele-Phonics, or WTF for short.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about an anagram?

    An anagram of "T-Mobile Orange" is "Tit and Minge". (Well, close enough)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How about an anagram?

      Lame Rebooting

      See more at (Takes a while to think about it, though)

  47. Andy Johnson

    Doesn't matter

    They can call themselves anything they want, I still won't be using them. As somebody said, they keep breaking phones with their branding. They have been doing that for years. (Remember the Orange homescreen on Nokias ?!) - I haven't used them since then, and if they were the last mobile provider on earth I'd be using cups and some string.

  48. Aberdeen Angus

    The title that doesn't lie.....


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The title that doesn't lie.....

      But only sometimes.

  49. Gazareth


    Because I like the word.

  50. TRT Silver badge


    We had One-to-One, which merged into T-mobile, we've got O2, and Three, EE have just been awarded the 4G spectrum, and E times E is E squared and 4 is a square number...

    but just a number on its own isn't that distinctive and could be confused with the TV station, so I think we need a letter. So a letter that is both quirky (like Orange used to be) and denotes quality (T-mobile had a fair business reputation I suppose), and should also reflect wide coverage, i.e. quantity... and speed of 4G is important too, so think quick... I reckon Q is a good candidate...

    So how about calling it The 4Q Network? Or just 4Q for short.

    1. Juan Inamillion

      Re: Well...

      Ha ha! I see what you did there!

      Btw are you known as just TRT or as The TRT....

      Just sayin....

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Well...

        The first T in TRT stands for The.

  51. Tim 11

    how about "Metro"?

    or, more seriously, how about "Orange T-Mobile" or (my personal favourite) "Orange"

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Egg Banjo

    As useful as a Mobile Orange!

  53. Test Man

    You do know that Orange and T-Mobile are not just a brand, but two separate subsidary companies of Everything Everywhere, just like how BT Retail, BT Openworld, BT Wholesale, etc. are subsidary companies of BT Group?

    If they want to keep Orange and T-Mobile separate, then let them.

    Everything Everywhere was never a consumer brand anyway, it's just the parent company. They can have any number of companies underneath them.

    The only people confused is people who deliberately look for confusion.

    1. Lee Dowling

      Three company names for what is basically one company, all of which operate in the same industry, all of which sell the same products, all of which appear in press releases as a conjoined entity, one of which you cannot buy a "product" from, and now we're changing them again.

      And *WE'RE* the ones who are confused?

      It's pointless, stupid, costly and insane. At least call yourself "T-Mobile / Orange Group" so that people know who you are. But that's the real reason for it's existence. If you change your name often enough, people end up using you again where they'd previously sworn off you for life.

      This is really no different to the Consignia / Royal Mail example. You've spent lots of money on corporate branding to make us think you're someone other than the Royal Mail, when you could have just carried on using the name. You've split what was one entity into two (and EE split 2 companies into 3!) in the hopes that something magical about the name will recoup you the money it costs to have rebranded in the first place.

      Or you could have just called yourself ANYTHING and NEVER used that name except on legal documents. E.g. Nobody knows who the hell Hutchinson are. But I bet they've heard of Three. See how easy that was? Proctor & Gamble have a million brands under the same name. But you only really see the P&G mark on some of them, and only in the smallest way possible because they want the BRAND to be important, not the company name.

      And notice how ALL the BT companies contain the word - BT! So you at least carry your reputation forward and have an idea of who their parent company is, and can avoid as necessary (not so for "PlusNet", but that's another issue entirely).

      For years, I used a domain name registrar until I realised that the actual company name was Parbin Ltd. There never used it except on official documents.

      So you have two, huge, well-known brands, both of whom are doing well, both of whom people already own products from, both of whom own shops, both of whom serve the same industry. And what you do is create a 3rd name that nobody's ever heard of, put that into press releases (and even in the adverts they ran about the name change / network merger), change it after a year, and at no point truly "merge" the two well-known brands so lots of people still think they're the same company.

      Yeah, that's obviously *ME* being confused, that is.

      1. Test Man

        I can see why they did it - before this T-Mobile and Orange were owned by two separate parent companies. They decided to put them together in the care of a newly-created company, Everything Everywhere, probably so that they could launch other companies under the care of it in the future (one of which we know about). Funnily enough, Deutsche Telekom and France Telecom have 50% stakes in Everything Everywhere.

        As for the "all of which sell the same products" thing, not really a new thing, look at Dixons Retail, who have Currys.Digital, Currys, PC World, Dixons Duty Free - who all have product lines that contain the same goods throughout all the stores, despite the stores largely competing in the same markets.

        After looking more at it, it's clear what's going to happen - even though they sell much the same products, Orange and T-Mobile will have their own identity e.g. much like Currys.Digital and PC World does and this third company, which will be the "4G network" one, will have a new identity. It could work, if they make them all distinct enough. Just look at the aforementioned Dixons Retail subsidiaries.

        1. Mystic Megabyte

          >>look at Dixons

          Which is why the last (and possibly only) thing I bought from them was a box of floppies about 20 years ago.

      2. Fozzie Bear

        A late point

        Lee Dowling:-

        "And notice how ALL the BT companies contain the word - BT! So you at least carry your reputation forward and have an idea of who their parent company is, and can avoid as necessary (not so for "PlusNet", but that's another issue entirely)."

        Most of the BT companies, you forgot Openreach.


  54. Greg J Preece

    "We Have All The 4G Ner Ner Ner"?

  55. Ed 11

    How about...

    Monopoly Mobile

  56. Harvey Trowell

    Brand? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Brand


    GUGU GUGU (4G4U, geddit, 4G for you? Ah fuhgeddaboutit, if you have to explain it, it sucks, right?)



    Dumbpipe And Proud





    1. Andrew James

      Re: Brand? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Brand

      Keith is a good one.

  57. FartingHippo

    The Angry Bird Facilitation Company

    There's even an orange angry bird now to use as their logo.

  58. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Something Sometimes.

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "The Portable Cellular Telephonic Device Company, PLC". Rolls right off the tongue.

  60. Dan 55 Silver badge

    No service + Orange + T-Mobile =


  61. Cliff


    A hand grabbing mobile data by the balls?

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know, I know....

    The very sad but this is what they came up with answer is "thirteen"

    I know someone that works there and they had to sign a non-disclosure agreement when inside the UK, so we went outside they UK and they told me.

    I did know the reasons were 2013 launch date and some others I have since forgotten.

    Anon because they could tracke me...

    1. Uplink

      Re: I know, I know....

      A nice lucky number too :)

  63. Graeme Hill

    As they can't make their mind up on a name, how about.....

    "QuestionMark" and the logo could be "?"

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bullshit tax dodge

  65. Andus McCoatover

    OK, I'll have a shot...



    G4G (G4, or Go for Gold) - I actually like that!

    I think the first two could neither be understood, nor spelled by the average customer.

    CC (Congealed Conglomerate)? Nah. Sounds like the end-result of a wet dream.

    HEY!!! One brand name coming up for grabs really soon!!! NOKIA ! Oh, wait - what impression does that give? Maybe not.

  66. Syed

    Sir, me Sir, I know, I know...


    All Your (cellular) Base (station)s Are Belong To Us

  67. Alan 30

    How about..

    Company Name


    Nobody cares what we're called we just own it all anyway


    ACME (my favourite)

  68. David Webb

    Well, it's got to have an X in the name because X is cool, it should also start with a small i because, no idea. Ideally it'll have a Z in there aswell because who uses Z these days? it's got to be cutting edge though which means it also has to start with an e- to show it's e-credentials so I suggest....

    e-iZX which as you can see just rolls off the tongue.

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      #Old McDonald had a farm, e, i.

      hang on.

  69. JayBizzle
    Paris Hilton

    Probably be....

    It will probably end up some shit like; Duo or Dynamic Duo therefore leading to Borange and T-robile.

    Maybe Tange? That'll be a good one for the cool kids.. "what network you on Chantelle? I'm on Tange babe, it's like well good". And they could get Amy Childs to front it or some other Essex great. Tange Wednesdays! I think I am on to something here.....

    In fact, I submit.... Tange!

    Paris... Well somes Tange up, vacuous shit.

  70. ElNumbre


    Really Simple:-


    As a customer of theirs, they'll know where to send the cheque.

  71. Sandtreader


    Orange + T, clearly.

  72. Joe Blogs

    It's in the Artilce...

    Creative Concepts in Communications Retailing And Phones

  73. The Indomitable Gall

    False Competition

    "False Competition", because that's precisely what it is when a company sells the exact same thing under two different brands.

    Or "Cartel Communications".

    Or "4GFix".

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not call it Central United Network Traffic?

  75. CallumUK


    Has a nice ring to it

  76. Robert E A Harvey

    Some suggestions, and one silly one.



    Masters (they erect masts)

    Mobile Masters

    Us (join us! be happy with us!)



    Better (you can't beat us, we are better!)

    The Best

    The Spheres (music of...)



    Maxwell's mesh

    Gridsquares (implying coverage)

  77. Captain DaFt

    I'm late to the party

    But I believe in the KISS principle, so;

    The Mobile Phone Co.

    Bland, unthreatening, and unimaginative at first glance, but showing their true aspirations to own it all. You know, like 'Word'.

  78. PeterM42


    Poor Service All The Time.

  79. Cavan

    Keith or Dave

    Please don't call it "Keith",

    or "Dave" after Rodney,

    as I would be compelled to purchase something from them.

    I'd also pick "Je ne Regrette Rien" followed by "I can't get no satisfaction" and "why are we waiting" as their on hold music for customer services.

    I wouldn't need a ringtone, as no service, no calls.

  80. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


  81. pctechxp


    'cos we're buggered if we know.

  82. elgeebar

    What ever next...

    So we have Avodaphone

    and NO2

    We used to have One To None

    and CellNot

  83. elgeebar


    They can rehash some old ads then...

    The futures bright, the futures Blancmange

  84. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    how about


  85. G_C

    Outsourced Telecommunication Services Ltd

    Tuper Tel Ltd or Outsourced Telecommunication Services Ltd

  86. G_C

    A-Team Telecomm

    A-Team Telecomm

    If you have a technical problem... and you can find them...

  87. Kay_terra

    Lets get proper retro ...

    One 2 One is quite old, but lets get back in the 80s when hair was stupid and phones were larger Smart for2.


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