back to article BMW slams ad machine into reverse, screeches out of pirate den

Musicians are claiming a small victory in pressuring BMW to rethink its internet advertising policies. The car maker, which posted revenues of €68bn in 2011 - making it more than twice the size of Google - has promised to review how it promotes itself on the internet after the Trichordist blog noticed the German giant was …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    Advertising is evil?

    You learn something new every day.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let me guess, the ads were placed by the "cool kids" of Great Portland Street, Engine Partners llc...?

  3. DavCrav

    "...profit from human misery from copyright infringement to mail order brides."

    I never knew that downloading a copy of a movie was similar to human trafficking.

    1. Miek

      Yep, just like shooting a policeman, or stealing his helmet and defecating in it.

      1. theblackhand


        Re:"Yep, just like shooting a policeman, or stealing his helmet and defecating in it."

        But isn't one a crime and the other is comedy?

        I know judges like to treat this as a grey area, but as long as there is a jury you are safe....

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        then posting it to his widow and then stealing it again.

    2. Tom 35

      What are they talking about

      They completely forgot the drug dealers and terrorists.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I never knew that downloading a copy of a movie was similar to human trafficking."

      Yeah, all those teenagers that share music in school are knee-deep in illegal immigrants too (unlike, of course, the idle rich who own the record companies and big mansions in Bel-Air - they'd never have anything to do with human trafficking, oh no. (Please don't look in the kitchen or talk to the cleaning staff)).

  4. mark 63 Silver badge

    well targeted , music piracy.

    I'm guessing bmw ads will appear if you type "gold chain" or "jetski" into google


    A Day in the Life of a BMW driver:

    he other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my interstates, which was very busy with inferior cars.

    First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the exit ramp! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

    The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

    Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

    Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

    Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

    Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

    He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

    Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

    Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

    See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      We don't have such things in the UK.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Interstate?

        And over here in Blighty, all the BMW drivers migrated to Audis... far more likely to have an Audi to do the full BMW than a BMW these days.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      As a law-abiding cyclist (stopping at reds and so on.) I'm wary of all other vehicles. I've been in a total of three accidents and two of them were BMWs. Obviously on those two occasions, it was my privilege to collide with them, etc.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      BMW and AUDI drivers

      I am certainly convinced, after only a mere 10 years on the road, that BMW drivers DO take a different test from the rest of us!

      They don't get taught what indicators are for.

      Simply use disabled spots when the driver is not disabled.

      Don't worry about giving way at junctions or roundabouts.

      Drive at whatever speed they wish in the overtaking lane of any motorway/freeway.

      Overtake on country roads and expect everyone else to compensate for the chaos they leave in their wake.

      AUDI ( only sports car ) drivers are a close second, they also seem to have their own test as well!

    4. N2


      But no mention of penis enlargement?

  5. Anonymous Coward 101

    What were BMW doing advertising on such sites anyway? Are they not the preserve of penis pill purveyors and pornographers?

    1. Cosmo

      Just the kind of people who buy Beemers....

  6. Craig 12

    OK, someone needs to start a bullshit list, and put that quote about human misery on it as entry #1. Seriously, why does such utter bullshit get repeated and never challenged?

    1. John A Blackley

      In Britain there is already such a list. I believe it's called Hansard.

  7. Gordon 10

    Yawn - cheap shot

    So BMW's ad agency has a been a little lax on its site profiles. Its hardly the end of the world. - Actually scratch that - its a heinous crime deserving pitchforks and fiery torches.

    For shame on the Ticorder loons angling for a bit of cheap and meaningless publicity.

    1. ArmanX

      Re: Yawn - cheap shot

      Wait... BMW posts ads on known pirate sites, and it's shame on Ticorder for cheap and meaningless publicity?

      ...I don't think you know what this article is about.

  8. big_D Silver badge
    Paris Hilton


    It should be the other way round?

    CrankMP3 should be advertising outside BMW dealerships for all the poor souls who have blown their wad on a BMW and can't afford any more music. :-D

    1. DavCrav

      Re: Shriley

      "who have blown their wad on a BMW"

      Surely Kleenex advertisements would be more appropriate?

  9. Kevin Fields

    Brilliant idea!

    Because everybody knows that pirates don't buy ANYTHING! They'll steal that BMW just like they steal their MP3s! (That is, they'll have somebody go out and find bits and pieces of it all over the world so they can re-assemble it at home).

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "That break unfortunately is not for the profit of the artists, but rather this site who is contributing nothing to the artists themselves."

    So instead of going to the pockets of the MAFIA (Music And Film Industry of America) it goes to the owners of the website. I don't see any difference for the artists there.

  11. a33a

    Thanks Trichordist for giving me a new website (to me) to download pirated music from. :D

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "mail order brides" ???

    WTF? Is this a crime now?

    I met my lovely wife through what is sometimes termed the "mail order bride" process; although (technically) she more or less randomly picked me off the list rather than vice versa. We wrote back and forth, visited once, and then got married on my second visit. We've been happily married more than a dozen years now and have several kids. She's still slender, still gorgeous, and (amazingly) still significantly younger than I ("Winning!" ;-) ). She's the boss - in case you're wondering - no sexism or racism here folks. ~Zero chance of divorce, ever.

    So where exactly is the crime? As compares to meeting someone in a local boozer (the long term results of this generally-accepted 'beer-glasses' process are MORE OFTEN almost criminal).

  13. LaeMing

    So one distant day if home/office materials fabrication becomes a reality...

    ...will BMW be doing adverts "You wouldn't download a movie..."


    Every time you turn the ignition.


    And the only way to get a car that doesn't annoy you for 10 minutes before you can start driving it is to 'pirate' one?

  14. -tim


    Funny enough, the designer of the body panels only got paid to do the job once and not virtually forever. The same goes for the guy who wrote the user manual.

  15. The Flying Dutchman

    Speaking of lazy journalism...

    ...maybe Mr. Orlowsky should spend some time on the road and chat with some real musicians.

    I happen to have the opportunity to do so, since I've been working in sound engineering and stage tech for donkey's years. I worked with a myriad of lesser known bands in the indie circuit, and I hear a lot of war stories. Record companies and collection societies still are major bugbears, and the general consensus is that Courtney Love's famous rant (when allowing for a bit of hyperbole) is largely spot on.

    A case in point I've mentioned earlier, but it bears repeating: I regularly work with a musician-songwriter who has published his work for over a decade through a (semi-major) record company. His older albums have been out of print for some time, the record company refuses to do a rerun. At his live performances, his fans keep asking for those albums so now he has taken to giving away CD-R copies, and making those albums available on p2p networks, effectively pirating his own work. His latest work is self-published, and high quality audio files are available for free. People *do* buy the CD.

  16. Mr Temporary Handle

    "I seriously doubt that any ad network or ad exchange is clean. It is an occupation that is at best suspect and at worst a haven for money laundering. It is also very likely that your paycheck includes profit from human misery from copyright infringement to mail order brides."

    Mr Castle forgot Drug Trafficking, Terrorism and Child Pornography. [/sarcasm]

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