back to article Microsoft: It's not Metro, it's Windows 8

Microsoft has racked its collective brains to come up with a replacement name for what it had formerly called its Metro user interface, and after much deliberation, its new moniker will reportedly be ... Windows 8. Veteran Microsoft watcher Mary Jo Foley was the first to report the name change, citing unnamed industry sources …

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  1. David Webb

    "No, you definitely want the new version. But it's not a Windows 8 app, it's a desktop app."

    Simples, "It's a Windows Application" rather than "app", let's leave app with the mobile phones and use applications on the Desktop, or the Subway/Metro.

    Please note I have applied for a patent for "applications" which is currently pending but most likely will be accepted by the USPO.

    1. Danny 14
      FAIL

      so a windows application like office or an application like winzip? Will Windows 8 winzip appear in Windows 8 or just Windows 8 desktop? Will Windows 8 photoshop desktop appear in Windows 8 or just Windows 8?

      What about WinRT? Does that mean WinRT is Windows 8 without Windows 8?

      Genius.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        So

        Punter: So this Windows tablet with the quad core ARM processor will it run the Programs I've got on Windows 7?

        Salesman: No Sir, this is windows RT it will only run Windows 8 style apps

        Punter: So how will I get a new Windows machine that runs my Windows 7 Programs?

        Salesman: You'll need a Windows 8 tablet

        Far too much confusion for the average joe to deal with. EPIC FAIL

        1. h4rm0ny

          Re: So

          "Far too much confusion for the average joe to deal with. EPIC FAIL"

          The "average joe" typically doesn't think much about different GUIs or APIs and they especially don't spend a lot of time thinking "the name of this OS overlaps with the name of this API, I'm so confused.". They just grab a program, install it and expect it to run. Which it will because Win8 is backwards compatible with Windows 7.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So

          "Punter: So this Windows tablet with the quad core ARM processor will it run the Programs I've got on Windows 7?

          Salesman: YES Sir"

          Hint : he's a computer salesman

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        WinZip?

        Dude, you need to stop living in the 90s.

        For those who do not recall, WinZip were a troll company who stuck a crappy GUI on top of PKWare's free tools and expected people to pay for it.

        Thanks to lots of users bleating about it installs appeared everywhere. As it was shareware, pretty much nobody actually paid for it but it still presented a license compliance problem in businesses.

        All the while free tools were available from PKWare who invented the ZIP format.

        Modern operating systems have for some time now had archive functionality built-in.

        A good and free archive manager that can handle an enormous variety of formats is 7zip. Please don't advocate the use of products from unscrupulous nagware pedlars.

        1. FIA

          Re: WinZip?

          Dude, you need to stop living in the 90s.

          Ah yes, the 90s, when naive software developers still thought they had a right to be paid for the fruits of their labour.

          For those who do not recall, WinZip were a troll company who stuck a crappy GUI on top of PKWare's free tools and expected people to pay for it.

          PKZip was shareware; you were expected to pay for it.

          1. Nuke
            Headmaster

            @FIA - Re: WinZip?

            Wrote :- "PKZip was shareware; you were expected to pay for it."

            As you say, but to clarify I think you were only supposed to pay for the zip creation app; the unzip app was free AFAIR.

    2. NogginTheNog
      Stop

      Sod that!

      I've been calling applications that run on my computer 'apps' (and in the days before "Program Files" I used to install them into a directory called Apps) long before Apple came along and decided to land-grab the term for mobile device widgets.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sod that!

        My Mum thinks apps are called apps because of the app in Apple.

        1. hplasm
          Happy

          Re: Sod that!

          So do Apple...

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Wensleydale Cheese
        Thumb Up

        Re: Sod that!

        @NogginTheNog

        "I used to install them into a directory called Apps"

        Likewise I started putting stuff I'd written myself into a directory called MyApps, long before Apple coined the term Apps.

      3. B Candler

        Re: Sod that!

        In the old 1980's, Apple used to call these little applets "desk accessories", and they hung off the Apple menu.

        What goes around, comes around...

  2. Eddy Ito
    Windows

    app claptrap crap

    If they want to call the little bricks on the start (menu) screen tiles then why shouldn't they also refer to the associated apps as tiles, tile apps or fullscreen widgets? It would be easy enough to do something simple like add a slight border a few pixels wide to the "tile apps" (call it grout?) to indicate they don't run on the desktop and aren't just symbolic links to a real application that does run properly.

    Windows user because he's taking a plug from a bottle in a brown paper bag and I could use one too.

    1. Mike Row
      Thumb Up

      Re: app claptrap crap

      Better trademark the use of the term "Grout" to denote space between "Tiles" before I do it for you.

  3. LinkOfHyrule
    Facepalm

    Someone should send a cameraman into Redmond and film the Windows 8 development team at work - once it's over, package the footage up into thirty minuet episodes and market it as a spin off from "The Thick of It", as judging from what little information does spill its way out from there it sounds like its a right farce inside! Plus I can just imagine Ballmer going all Malcolm Tucker!

    1. Code Monkey
      Thumb Up

      Excellent idea!

      In honour of Ballmer, they could call it "The Thick".

  4. skuzzzy

    So, Windows Phone 7 & 7.5 have always and always will run Windows 8 style apps?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      ;p

      That explains why the sales of WP7 phones are doing so well... they're very future proof!

    2. lumpaywk

      not to mention the old Zune HD had a windows 8 style ui.

      1. Furbian
        Go

        Indeed...

        ... and wasn't that a rip roaring success.

    3. Danny 14

      sure winph 7.8 will run Windows 8 as long as it doesnt have Windows 8 full compatability.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Gentlemen/ladies, what we have here is the first proof of Skynet.

  5. Chad H.
    Trollface

    Abbot and Costello called

    They want their routine back.

    (in seriousness, it did get a chuckle)

  6. jim 45

    Making a version number part of the name...

    ... sets them up for endless confusion in the future. Someone at MS should stop this nonsense before it gets enshrined in 100 memos and directives, and tell marketing to come up with a (hopefully catchy) new name to use instead of Metro.

    1. frank ly
      Happy

      Re: Making a version number part of the name...

      How about 'Maestro' or 'Princess'? (Obscure cultural and age-related reference.)

      1. GitMeMyShootinIrons

        Re: Making a version number part of the name...

        "How about 'Maestro' or 'Princess'? (Obscure cultural and age-related reference.)"

        Or potentially Allegro and Montego? Of course, the Maestro interface would be as ugly as sin, while Allegro would try (and fail) to introduce a square controller.

        All the time, people will insist they should have stayed with the Mini...

        1. P. Lee Silver badge

          Re: Making a version number part of the name...

          Wasn't the maestro well known for its digital dashboard?

          1. Matthew 25

            Re: Making a version number part of the name...

            Yes. And talking to you.

            1. Danny 14

              Re: Making a version number part of the name...

              they have loads to go for.

              Marina too.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                Marina too.

                An unbridled pile of heartache, best scrapped.

                Much like my ex-wife, of the same name.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                  Lynn: I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. It’s a lovely car. And if you do –

                  Alan: Lynn, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.

                  Lynn: But you do have to make substantial savings.

                  Alan: Lynn, I am not driving a mini-Metro.

                  Lynn: But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two, and –

                  Alan: There’s no point finishing the sentence, Lynn, because I am not driving a mini-Metro.

                  Lynn: But if you d –

                  Alan: Lynn! I’ll just speak over you.

                  Lynn: But –

                  Alan: No! Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on.

                  Lynn: With a skeleton staff of two –

                  Alan: I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro, I’m not driving a mini-Metro.

                  Lynn: No, no it’s different. It’s called a Rover 100 now.

                  Alan: They’ve rebadged it, you fool!

                  1. Anonymous Coward
                    Anonymous Coward

                    Rover

                    Having owned both an Austin Metro and a Rover 100, I can tell you that the latter did in fact have significant improvements - despite the superficial resemblance. It was a completely different design of engine for a start. Compare it to its competitors: the Citroen AX, Peugeot 205, Ford Fiesta Mk2, Vauxhall Nova, and you will see that it was actually quite a beauty as well.

                    A friend of mine put the 1.8VVC (as used in MGF) into his heavily-modified 100 series. Scary but amazingly quick and agile!

              2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                The Minor wasn't half bad (apart from rusty wings). Ah, the unmistakable sound of an unbreakable A-series engine...

                1. Vic

                  Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                  > The Minor wasn't half bad (apart from rusty wings)

                  ...And the front trunnions which broke and left your front wheel collapsed up inside the wheel arch :-(

                  Vic.

                  1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

                    Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                    > And the front trunnions which broke

                    Ah yes, that too. Mostly if you forgot to grease the bottom joint on the kingpin, though. I bought my late Grandad's Marina (I was a student, it was my first car) and it had the same suspension. I remember finding the bolt hole on the suspension arm had worn oval, but managed to replace it before it failed so catastrophically.

                2. Nuke
                  Thumb Down

                  @Phil O'Sophical - Re: Making a version number part of the name...

                  Don't talk to me about Morris Minors, bloody awful things. I used to work on them as lead mechanic in a BL main agent. The front seats sagged until (if you were < 6ft) it was hard to see over that arched dashboard and bulging bonnet. How do you think the legends of little old ladies peering over the steering wheel on the front edge of their seat arose?

                  Some genius designer put the brake master cylinder inside the chassis member under the front carpet so when people checked the level all sorts of crap fell in, leading to it needing replacing (ever tried that?). Drum front brakes that never seemed to keep their adjustment, gearboxes that wore out their syncromesh ...

                  On the over-run something about the exhaust made them sound like a giant farting. I lived on a hill and could always tell when a Minor was going down.

                  Worst of all, the lower front steering swivels would wear until they failed catastrophically, with that wheel doing the splits. In London around 1980 I reckon I saw a Minor on its belly in the middle of the road, causing a traffic jam for miles around, about once a fortnight. It is a godsend that Minors were mostly used around town and not at higher speeds.

                  But itsA series engine *was* good. Reliable and indestructable. Yet some of the other BMC/BL cars criticised here (Minis, Metros, 1100/1300) also used the A series and are being slated. Not my experience, and I have worked on and driven most cars. They just happened to be around at a time when it became fashionable to bash anything British. My daughter's VW Polo was the most unreliable car I have ever come across, just for comparison.

          2. Xpositor

            Re: Making a version number part of the name...

            That spoke to you, as well. I remember using one as a pool car - very advanced for its day, even if somewhat gimmicky. Who would have thought that people would like to have "digital" dashboards and be able to have the car communicate with you?

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Making a version number part of the name...

            "Wasn't the maestro well known for its digital dashboard?"

            I remember seeing an ad for a nearly new Cavalier SRI. I had driven one and it went like stonk so I went to have a look.

            When I got to the garage it had already gone. The salesman had the cheek to offer me a Maestro instead.

            I bought an Audi instead.

        2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

          Re: Making a version number part of the name...

          It never occurred to me before. The Austin Metro was a successor to the Austin 7!

          And the successor to the Austin Metro was... Austin aka BMC aka BL aka Rover going bust.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Making a version number part of the name...

          or even more ... Windows Van den Plas.

          Looks just like something else. Given a fancy name. Didn't sell many. Was superceded.

      2. Roger Greenwood
        Happy

        Re: Making a version number part of the name...

        Not obscure for me. They broke down a lot - mine was a Morris Ital from the same stable. I shall now be remembering all the happy times spent waiting for it to be fixed (using something else!)

    2. Patrick R
      Windows

      Re: Making a version number part of the name...

      W7, WP7, WP7.5, W8, W95 ... good luck to the historians.

      1. Gerhard den Hollander
        Angel

        W7 WP7 WP7.5 WP5.1

        I liked wp5.1 .. one of the best editors of it's time. To bad the printing of a document could take as much effort as the actual writing.

        At one point I'd made a keyboard macro (Ctrl-Alt-P I think) that did a save before a print. That one macro had saved me hours of work :)

    3. John Bailey
      Happy

      Re: Making a version number part of the name...

      Oh but it gets better..

      Is a Windows 8 app going to run on the the surface and the desktop, or is it going to be a Windows 8 surface only app? And just imagine the fun when explaining to someone that they got a surface that runs Windows 8, but can't run Windows 8 software on it. Only Windows 8 apps.. But if they want to run Windows 8 software they need a surface hat runs Windows 8..

      And people say Linux is confusing..

      Settling down with my popcorn factory shares to enjoy the show.

      1. DroidUser
        Linux

        Re: Making a version number part of the name...

        You know what... I'll just stick with Ubuntu :-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It doesn't matter

    Windows 8 and the Windows 8 UI are not going to be around for long, so the confusion will be short lived. Expect SP1 to bring back the traditional UI

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It doesn't matter

      I believe the SP1 you are referring to is called 'Windows 9', which will arrive by 2014.

      The sales of Windows 8, too, will also be short lived.

      1. kb
        Mushroom

        Re: It doesn't matter

        I have started to wonder if this isn't a "New Coke" kinda deal. After all my customers that got stuck on vista sure was happy to pay for Win 7. I mean if you think about it, if Metrosexual takes off then they win, if it bombs people rush to buy Win 7 and/or Win 8 which means...they win.

        Certainly seems like a nice way to make money, seeing as there isn't a downside. Lets face it people have too much Windows software to switch to OSX which is also too crazy priced on their desktops, Linux isn't gonna cut the mustard as its still too fiddly and bleeding edge, so you end up buying Windows one way or another. This way MSFT gets two sales for each unit, Metrosuckatitude and either Win 7 or Win 9....more money is more money folks.

        1. The BigYin

          Re: It doesn't matter

          @kb - If it bombs too badly people think "Sod this" and find something else. People are already getting bitten hard by lock-in (and one of those people is MS itself), so greater adoption of standards leads to portability.

          New OS/Application/Widget doing your box in. Switch to one that behaves as you like.

          There is a cost of switching obviously, but when pain-of-staying > cost-of-switching; then people switch.

          And I think that will be the case for some folks who get lumbered with Win8.

      2. RICHTO
        Mushroom

        Re: It doesn't matter

        Short lived? As in very quick to reach 300 million you mean?

        Windows has 90% market share. No matter how much YOU dont like the new interface, it will sell...

        1. Joerg
          FAIL

          Re: It doesn't matter

          You Microsoft employees are just beyond silly.

          Just plain pathetic.

        2. Chris 3

          Re: It doesn't matter

          It won't exactly "sell". It'll just be bundled with PCs that sell.

          1. RICHTO
            Mushroom

            Re: It doesn't matter

            Same difference. It is still revenue to Microsoft.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: It doesn't matter

            Will it? Microsoft is asking the OEM's to do a lot more when it comes to activating Windows. What happens if the OEM's just decide to stick with Windows 7 for the interim? The PC manufacturer will also be fielding a lot of support calls, so it is cheaper not to sell Windows 8 devices.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It doesn't matter

          Umm, no I didn't. Why do you think Microsoft is going to have the price VERY cheap? They know it won't sell. Next, it is going to be so terrible that people won't even WANT to pirate it.

  8. roselan
    Trollface

    I will continue to use metro like, I guess, most of us.

    I won't say they dropped the only thing about metro that was cool, but how ironical and sweet that only MS can't use it now. metro metro METROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    As I want to be constructive tonight, I propose the name "Clear Rectangular Application Pad" ^^

    don't bother, I'm out ;)

    1. Dana W
      Trollface

      Now there is a product referral!

      "I will continue to use metro like, I guess, most of us."'

      Every time I see a line like this, all I can see is "Stockholm Syndrome" writ large. I'm glad I get to actually ENJOY using my operating systems.

      Would you go out of the way to eat in a restaurant where your view was "I'll eat there again I guess?"

      1. Nuke
        Facepalm

        @Dana W

        I think he means that he will continue to use the word "Metro" to refer to it.

        I don't think he would have the nerve on this forum to suggest that he will be happily using it as an operating system.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    New math at Microsoft, 1+1 = 3

    So on 2012, what's next? METRO, METRO, METRO!

    ...

    And of course, WINDOWS, WINDOWS, WINDOWS!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CM1W_qFLZM

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So if I run a Windows 8 app now, is it a Metro app or a normal desktop app?

    "Use the Windows 8 IE10."

    "Umm... there are two IE10s in Windows 8. Which one?

    "I said, use the WINDOWS 8 IE10!"

  11. Hoagiebot
    Facepalm

    Even the dead work harder...

    Man, I wish that I worked for Microsoft's marketing department-- from the looks of it, it appears that Microsoft's brand marketers do even less work on a yearly basis than the Porsche 911 body-style designers do at Porsche!!! I mean seriously, I don't think that Microsoft's branding team have performed any service requiring anything even close to the firing of a single brain synapse in years. For example, calling the new ARM version of Windows 8 "Windows RT" when both the ARM and x86 versions of Windows use the WinRT platform was anything but brilliant. Naming their new tablet PC the "Surface" when they already had a touch-based UI table computer called the "Surface" was even worse, and now this whole "Windows 8 style" term for the UI of Windows Phone 7, Windows Phone 7.5, Xbox 360, and Windows 8 is potentially the most confusing naming blunder of all. I swear, if these jokers had to name a car they would call it the Microsoft "Drive Shaft," and then call its gauges and steering wheel (e.g. its "user interface") "Horse and Buggy Style," even though it doesn't involve a horse or have reins! *face palm*

    1. xyz

      Re: Even the dead work harder...

      ...and how they managed to come up with LINQ and LYNC for 2 entirely different things without realising they sounded the same is beyond me

    2. Jordan Davenport
      Joke

      Re: Even the dead work harder...

      No, Microsoft would call their car the Microsoft Car 1, and you'd drive it by pushing down on the Car 1 and steer it by turning the Car 1 while strapping the Glovebox across your lap for protection.

      Meanwhile, Apple would likewise produce the iCar, you'd operate it with the iPedals, steer it with the iWheel, and you'd strap yourself in using the Swaysash. The next model would tout the new and improved Retina Shield to enhance the quality of natural colors.

      To round out the bunch and be fair, the free software community would produce the GNAuto, you'd move forward with the Petrolator, stop with the smashpedal, steer with the Roundabout, and use the strapon for a safety restraint as the standard distribution but provide fifty alternatives for each component.

    3. Euripides Pants
      Coat

      Re: Even the dead work harder...

      "the firing of a single brain synapse....."

      The brain synapse wasn't fired, it was downsized.

  12. Doug 3

    doesn't help the original Metro platform is flopping like a shot pleasure replicant(Pris)

    Microsoft has used the Metro name throughout their marketing of the Windows phone OS's new tile UI and that dates back close to 2 years. Now, they want to stick this on the desktop and all of a sudden the name is a problem with a partner? This is after allocating hundreds of millions on marketing of the Windows phone OS.

    Sure Microsoft, it's all about someone else having a problem with the name. It couldn't have anything to do with the old phone platform failing badly and you don't want to associate the "new" Windows 8 with that old product. Nope, never.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Windows

    Finally it's official!

    From the article (and other sources obviously) I guess its now safe to conclude what most others have concluded a long time ago, namely:

    "The Windows 8 user interface isn't very usable on desktops."

    I wonder if MS realizes what impact this could have. Because one should never underestimate the naive end users (with all due respect of course)... When it was still called Metro MS made a rather clear separation; there were metro apps, the metro interface ('start screen') and there was desktop related stuff.

    In short: "The Metro interface sucks!" may leave people wondering "ok, that part of Win8 could be bad. I'll just ignore it".

    But how does one react to: "The Windows 8 user interface sucks" ?

    The longer the Windows 8 soap continues the deeper MS seems to be making the hole. At least that is my impression of the whole thing so far.

    1. h4rm0ny

      Re: Finally it's official!

      "The Windows 8 user interface isn't very usable on desktops."

      I have been using it fine on my multi-monitor Desktop set up for the past month. I've had very little trouble. I've checked how many keystrokes and mouse clicks it takes to do something in Windows 8 as it does to do in Windows 7. A few rare instances take longer, e.g. starting a VPN (two extra clicks), more take less and most are around the same as I'm accustomed to just hitting the Windows Key and typing the first character or two of the program I want to launch which is the same on both.

      My Start screen easily holds about fifty different default programmes which is far more than even I need, so that's actually better. A hierarchical menu is not the best approach when you have space for all the things you'd want at the top level and an easy way of identifying which are which (colours, images, etc.).

      Why are some so determined to hate? If you can objectively show that it takes the same or fewer clicks to do something on average, what is the problem?

      1. keithpeter
        Linux

        Re: Finally it's official!

        "I'm accustomed to just hitting the Windows Key and typing the first character or two of the program I want to launch"

        Same as Ubuntu Unity /Gnome Shell, or any more 'traditional' window manager with dmenu installed. This could get dangerous, a new generation of PFYs growing up with motor memory that can invoke applications on most platforms.... I wonder if the Softies have thought of that one.

        Could it be the only place we will find drop down menus soon will be the good old Intranet?

        1. Bainshie
          FAIL

          Re: Finally it's official!

          Hmmm, kinda shows how retarded people on this website are

          A linux Distribution removes/never had a start menu:

          LINUX IS GREAT, WHOOO, MS SUCKS, I HAVE ALMOST 2 WHOLE BRAINCELLS!!!!

          Windows 8 removes the start menu:

          WINDOWS SUCKS, COPYING APPLE, I NOW ONLY HAVE ONE BRAIN CELLS.

          The main issue with Windows 8? Microsoft made it and people here don't like microsoft.

          Main issue with microsoft? Their a successful company that makes good usable products that make a good profit, and the neckbeard basement dwelling idiots on this website are jealous of such success that they'll never reach in their wildest dreams.

          1. RICHTO
            Mushroom

            Re: Finally it's official!

            That's the sole reason I bother to post here. The place is full of dinosaurs mostly a long way from reality, and it only takes one voice to put some facts in each thread...

            1. Chemist

              Re: Finally it's official!

              "That's the sole reason I bother to post here"

              Please don't feel obligated to continue. I'm sure we'll all get along without you

      2. Nuke
        Happy

        @h4rm0ny - Re: Finally it's official!

        h4rm0ny wrote :-

        "I have been using [Metro] fine ... for the past month. I've had very little trouble. I've checked how many keystrokes and mouse clicks it takes to do something in Windows 8 as it does to do in Windows 7. [most] take less and most are around the same as I'm accustomed to just hitting the Windows Key and typing the first character or two of the program I want to launch which is the same on both."

        Reducing mouse clicks is the ultimate yardstick ? Personally I don't have a problem doing mouse clicks. But typing a character or two to launch a program? Sounds like the auto-completion of the Bash command line! I though we were supposed to hate the CLI these days.

        h4rm0ny wrote :-

        "Why are some so determined to hate? "

        Hate it?? I love it!!! It is getting funnier and funnier by the day. I can't wait to see where this is leading Microsoft, I only know I won't be following it there.

  14. Stu 18
    Megaphone

    I have a list

    on my wall - rather morbid thing about dying and what people regret. The link is, seems to me that some one at MS in their old age has finally understood that making things that ordinary people find easy to use is a good idea and that presenting content well should be the priority. Perhaps its that final effort to relive the glory days.

    On the other hand, I expect it is the same old MS that has always been. 64bit dlls go in the x86 area and 32bit in the x64 folder. Countless meaningless 'uninstall' and 'digital certificate for vba...' icons will still fill up the majority of tiles. MS paint will still be the same as will notepad. Email will be turned off and then come back later, programs like Outlook will consume more resources and still not be able to render basic html emails. File explorer will be even more neutered and peoples data will be splattered across the entire folder structure in a random fashion so that search will prove its worth.

    And yet I am vaguely optimistic that things may in fact improve once the dust settles, maybe it will take till windows 9, on the other hand our windows xp workstations are now seriously old and most of our third party apps are still windows only, so inertia may again rule the day and keep MS on top.

    My recommendations:

    - Call them tile apps but make them a desirable alternative rather than rubbing poo all over the vast majority of software on the platform that will remain old school for the foreseeable future.

    - Tidy up that mess of a file structure, get rid of active directory and joining domains etc it no longer makes sense. People use many contexts, home, work, cloud, offline. AD is a dog you've turned relatively simple configuration information into a rocket science for no good reason. If you made Microsoft live sign on business friendly then that could replace AD for smb companies.

    - work harder at making developers building for windows understand physical hardware, life-cycle, support and good file and icon management.

    - Give badges to companies that make quality software. Why is it that all UK software we've had the 'joy' of using is so antiquated, poorly supported, hard to use with stupid dependency issues.

    - ditch the registry - the central database for everything the compost heap of knowledge.

    - wrap all files in xml meta data. Search is everything types tell us to fire data anywhere in a projectile vomit kind of way - it is better than creating structure apparently. Only problem is that files often don't contain nearly enough meta data to ensure I get the right one back when searched for. I want to get the latest data not a file written years ago with the same name, and many similar issues. I note that the symantec web guys have been saying that of Search for years.

    1. TheOtherHobbes

      Re: I have a list

      You appear to be mistaking MS for a company that cares about users or technology.

      On the up side, Windows Mini Paris !Metro Any More 8 RT Fun and Games Edition Pro will likely see the departure of Ballmer and his replacement by one of those round things that Google tried to sell recently as a media platform.

      And it will be better at doing his job than he is.

      But then so would a cheese plant, a brightly painted vintage RAM chip, or a drunken amoeba with piles.

  15. Steve Knox
    Devil

    I, for one....

    will gladly call Metro "Windows 8".Then I can say the following confidently and truthfully:

    Windows 8 first shipped in 2010, on a phone with Windows Phone 7. Indeed, Windows Phone 7 did not function at all without Windows 8, but Microsoft didn't officially port Windows 8 to the PC until the release of Windows 8 in 2012, which includes both a desktop and Windows 8. Developers who want to write for Windows 8 still have the option to write .NET applications if they aren't comfortable writing for Windows 8. So you don't really have to use Windows 8, even if you upgrade to Windows 8. But it's recommended that you get used to Windows 8 soon, because most likely Windows 9 will only come with Windows 8.

    Some people are arguing that Microsoft should bring Windows 8 to Windows 7, to cater to those users who want Windows 8 but don't want Windows 8. But others argue that that would improve adoption of Windows 8 only at the expense of Windows 8 adoption, as people realized they could install Windows 8 without the hassle of installing Windows 8. Besides, the greatest resistance is not to Windows 8, but to Windows 8.

    1. Captain DaFt
      Thumb Up

      Re: I, for one....

      Um... I... My head hurts! I... I think I'll go... lie down no<THUD>

    2. Richard Wharram

      Re: I, for one....

      You've cleared the whole matter up for me. Have some rep :)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I, for one....

      "I wish I'd said that"

      Dweeb (apologies to Oscar Wilde)

    4. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      That was brilliant !

  16. tempemeaty

    Ok, Windows 8 now?

    After how they went on and on about "Metro", I just can't stop laughing. This is hilarious.

    I invite them to call it Blockdows 8...much better that way. Then again if that doesn't project the fresh modern image marketing desires they could call it "Oceania".

    1. RICHTO
      Mushroom

      Re: Ok, Windows 8 now?

      It is a stroke of genius for the family market though:

      http://numbdrum.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Wooden-Blocks-585x442.jpg

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about Wintro or Metdows?

    And just put 8 at the end. Easy!

  18. Captain DaFt
    Facepalm

    OK, I'm better now

    But seriously, did they even take 2 seconds to think about it? Just off the top of my (bruised) head, I came up with "Windows "Wonder". There's a bakery in the US they may have to slip a few bucks to, to keep'em from harping, but that's about it,

    (Of course, it still has comedy potential, but I'll leave that as an exercise for the reader.)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about ...

    Windows Hate

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: How about ...

      or even just Windows H8

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So "Metro" is taken...

    How about "Subway"?

    1. Matthew 25

      Re: So "Metro" is taken...

      Or "Tube" ?

    2. jonathanb Silver badge

      Re: So "Metro" is taken...

      Subway is a sandwich retailer

      1. Avatar of They
        Windows

        Re: So "Metro" is taken...

        Yeah but Subway is a franchise system, So they could just rent a franchise.

        I love MS, just when you think they are all mental and can't possibly be more barking mad, they come up with something.

        Kudos to the Germans for telling them they can't have Metro.

        1. Cameron Colley

          Re: So "Metro" is taken...

          Nah, they should call it U-Bahn, they could have a nice symbol for it that goes with the new blue tiles one -- perhaps a 'U' in a blue square. Oh, wait...

  21. Hairy Spod
    Black Helicopters

    Hmmm

    I wonder if some of the key people in the Microsoft design team are actually undercover Apple staffers...

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How about

    Curtains for windows?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows Pista?

    so Windows 8 can be used for the working successor (parallels in Vista/7)

    1. Matthew 25

      Re: Windows Pista?

      You missed the k and the e off the end of that.

  24. The BigYin

    To bucther the bard

    That which we call a turd

    By any other name would smell as rank;

  25. mark l 2 Silver badge

    So now instead of saying Metro under Windows 8 is crap for desktop PCs, I just say Windows 8 is crap. I guess its the only thing thats now quicker on Windows 8 on a desktop PC

    1. durbans
      WTF?

      Have you even tried it?

      Have you even tried using Windows 8? Something tells me you haven't. How about 50% boot times over Win7. How about less clicks to get to almost everything I do on a daily basis as a Sysadmin? That equates to 'faster' to me.

      People who think they are good at IT are doomed to failure if they cannot move with the times. And jumping on a bandwagon only serves to make you look like you can't make an objective descision for yourself. Personally I'd like to see somebody who can actually give a logical, reasoned argument as to why Windows 8 sucks so bad. It reminds me of ridiculously devout religious people.

      Me: But it's been proved by scientists the world over that dinasours existed.

      You: But they don't. The bible tells us so.

      1. Cameron Colley

        Re: Have you even tried it?

        OK, I'm reading an email in the preview pane of Outlook regarding something on the exchange server so I want to open Powershell. Instead of continuing to read the email whilst I bring up Powershell from either the menu or run dialogue I have to stop reading, open Powershell, then find my place and resume.

        Then there's RDPing into customer machines or servers and wanting to bring up Metro. instead of having a very clear point to aim at and click you have instead to select the remote screen by clicking in the middle somewhere, being careful not to make anything happen to any applications, then hover over the corner and wait, then you can finally get a menu.

        That's off the top of my head (since I don't live with Metro day to day) but they're annoyances I can live without for an interface which gives me nothing in return.

        I'm sure there will be far more once I'm forced to use it, though hopefully that will be in a few years time (if Windows 9 isn't out by then) and the kinks will have been worked out.

        1. RICHTO
          Mushroom

          Re: Have you even tried it?

          If you were a good sysadmin, you would use the remote tools for everything and install Core Server only on Server 2012 with no GUI. There is normally no need to RDP to a 2012 server, and you should not install the GUI unless actually required...

          1. Cameron Colley

            @RICHTO

            Who said I installed anything on the server, who said they were Server 2012 [I'm not a time traveller]?

            I work with the mixed, evolving environment I'm given, as do most sysadmins who don't work for small businesses.

            Doesn't alter my problem though does it? Pulling up the menu in Metro blocks the screen and hitting start through RDP is harder, concrete examples that post I was responding to asked for.

            Anyone want to tell me what the benefit of hiding the Start Menu button is? How about the benefit of forcing Metro instead of the Start Menu (and, no, "I like the widgets" does not count as a benefit of _forcing it on people_)?

      2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Re: "50% boot times over Win7"

        Oh, so that's an important argument because . . . you spend all day rebooting ?

        My Win 7 on SSD boots in two seconds. Well it did when I first installed it. Now it takes a full six seconds.

        Galls me, but I only boot once a day, so it's not really that important.

        Windows 8 can boot in less than one second if it wants, I do not care for its tiles. And if moving with the times implies using a PlaySchool interface then I'll be a happy dinosaur, thank you.

        And that's an objective decision. We're talking about an OS here, not flying cars. OSes are still made for managing apps and interfacing with hardware, not inciting religious zealotry. An OS is a good OS if it does not get in the way of using the applications people need to use. Moving with the times is not replacing the UI of said functionality with bigger icons. Moving with the times would much more be Microsoft placing its OS code in the public domain in order to let people skin its interface however they wanted it.

        Fat chance that'll happen though.

        Go on running after your shiny-shiny things and spouting useless religious comparisons. I'm sure you're feeling very righteous.

        1. h4rm0ny

          Re: "50% boot times over Win7"

          "And that's an objective decision."

          Well it's not really answering the poster's question though, is it? You didn't give an objective reason why to dislike Windows 8, you gave a reason why the the very much faster boot time is something you personally don't care about. Note the "you personally" in there. That makes it a subjective opinion, not an objective one.

          So you say you personally don't care about one of the advantages in Windws 8. That's hardly answering the poster's question of how Windows 8 is so objectively bad.

        2. hplasm
          Windows

          Re: "you spend all day rebooting ?"

          It is Windows...

  26. Danny 14
    Trollface

    hmm

    Just call it "new windows" works for other firms....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      How about "Double Glazing"?

      You get one full size window or two panes, split as we dictate.

      1. RICHTO
        Mushroom

        Re: How about "Double Glazing"?

        Only for Metro Apps which are designed to work like that. There is still a desktop for everything else...

  27. Brent Longborough
    Pint

    Maybe a better name would be...

    ... iWindows?

  28. Shonko Kid
    Coat

    Windows Wolf

    They should copy Apple totally on this, except use types of dog (dogs chase cats...). I eagerly await Windows Coyote, but will probably skip Hyena or Chihuahua.

    Numbers are for squares!

  29. Shonko Kid
    Joke

    Rock, Paper, Scissors

    They should name each subsequent version after the one that 'wins' the previous one, this has the added advantage that by the time they're onto the next pass of Windows Rock, customers who bought the first one are actually ready to upgrade, having skipped the previous 2 'new versions'.

  30. Piro

    A right royal mess...

    Suits the whole Windows 8 UI really, an absolute cluster..

  31. Kosudo
    FAIL

    The obvious name for Metro all along was...

    ...Windowpains.

  32. Joerg
    FAIL

    Not even a name they can come up with for their lame fraud...

    The awful unusable Metro now is names "Windows 8" user interface... seriously ?

    So.. now people will tell "Windows8 with the Windows8 User interface" ?

    And "Windows Server 2012 with the Windows8 User Interface" ?

    And "Windows Phone 8 with the Windows8 User Interface" ?

    Seriously?

    At Microsoft they must be using some very strong drugs nowadays...

  33. Barry Tabrah
    Happy

    And thus..

    Coffin, meet nail. Nail, this is coffin. You're going to be spending a lot of time together. In a deep, dark hole. Covered with dirt. Where nobody will ever see you. It's been fun.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Said before I expect

    But I'll say it again the "Previously know as Metro" apps should be called

    W8 Apps - beause that's what I seem to do once I've called one up.

  35. Syed
    Facepalm

    Going backward

    @Author wrote "...will be known as a Windows 8-style UI going forward."

    How about writing this as "...will be known as a Windows 8-style UI".

    The word 'will' indicates future tense so there is no need to 'go forward' -- ever.

    </GETS OFF SOAP BOX>

  36. Mikeoh
    Joke

    Wait...

    As this will be a phone OS then in text speak we can call it w8

  37. marklar
    Alien

    Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to all people, places, and things as marklar.

  38. Lallabalalla
    Facepalm

    My god they are such DICKS

    That is all.

  39. Scott 2
    Thumb Up

    They should just call it LCARS.

  40. marklar
    Alien

    Marklar

    Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to all people, places, and things as marklar.

  41. Justicesays
    Joke

    Call them this:

    Tablet apps should be referred to as "Tapps"

    desktop apps as "Dapps"

    The Windows advertising team as "Twats"

    Windows 8 Tapp

    Windows 8 Dapp

    Windows 8 Twats

    Sorted

  42. Richard Ball

    Bing

    They should call the interface Bing.

    It's a trademark they own, and that is doing sod all at the moment.

    1. Nuke
      Facepalm

      Re: Bing

      Like Bing Crosby then, a 1940's smoothie with ears that stuck out, singer of that cheesy song that supermarkets put on endless loop for 2 months before every Xmas.

    2. Nuke

      Re: Bing - OMG, not that Guy Please

      Like Bing Crosby then, a 1940's smoothie with ears that stuck out, singer of that cheesy song that supermarkets put on endless loop for 2 months before every Xmas.

  43. Tony Paulazzo

    Call it what you want, if you have a second screen (as I do), you can extend it (to the right only), duplicate the main screen and use it as the only screen, but you can no longer make it the primary screen...

    So, useless for games (assuming screen1 to be a laptop), unless there's a non obvious way of doing it.

    PS been using it for months and I still think the start screen is an abomination of UI design, luckily there's a 'ClassicShellSetup' downloadable to give me a start button back.

    Obviously, would prefer the option from MS at install.

    1. RICHTO
      Mushroom

      Then that would be the preview - not the final version...

  44. JCB
    Happy

    LIDL?

    Perhaps if the Metro group won't let MS use their name, MS could talk to the other German groups and then we could have either the Microsoft LIDL interface, or Windows ALDI. I suppose it is too much to ask to ask if Tesco would give up their name.

  45. Seb123
    FAIL

    Do they think people are stupid?

    "Microsoft has tried to spin the change by claiming that Metro had only been a code name used by developers all along, and that it had never intended to use the term with the general public."

    Why bullshit like this when it's all over the place and was mentioned externally to the public on countless occasions? Do they think people are stupid?

    Seems like they still need to run a big copy and replace all over the place...

    http://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/windows/apps/br211386.aspx

  46. Levente Szileszky
    FAIL

    Ballmerian world of utter incompetence...

    ...is finally hitting everybody on the forehead - how long until the clueless yet arrogant bald fatty with anger issues is finally out for good?

  47. RetroTom
    Stop

    'Windows 8 Interface?

    Can I be foolishly optimistic and hope it means this turd of an interface has already been dropped from Windows 9?

  48. Si 1

    Well this makes things much easier

    Now I can just say I don't want Windows 8 in my Windows 8.

  49. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Linux

    why not

    call it "Windows CF"

    As in windows cluster f**k

    Or windows Fubar

    etc etc

  50. Lghost
    Linux

    W849 ( again)

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