"an unnamed man in Darwin"
Can't think of a better named place for this to happen.
Many of us - most, perhaps - have carelessly spoken of putting a rocket up someone's backside. But now, a pioneering Australian researcher has shown that in fact this would be a highly unwise act: not only would the recipient of the combustibles be unlikely to be galvanised into helpful activity, he or she might also wind up in …
Apparently the mistake most people make when shooting rockets out of their arse is to clench when the hot rocket exhaust hits their delicate skin, preventing the rocket from departing skywards.
I'm assuming this guy didn't actually put the rocket in backwards or he'd have probably blown his arse off instead of scorching it a bit, but the story seems a little unclear on that point...
I've seen the video of one guy getting a scorched scrote from unexpected anal clampage.
I've heard it is possible using the tube from a pen round the stick (like launching from a bottle, but not quite as wide or difficult to get into position) and using Vaseline as a protection against the initial sparks, but don't know anyone stupid enough to test the idea
Mine's a new keyboard AND Nexus S!
"may have to be airlifted to a specialist Australian burns " excellent!
£the existence of this burns unit is heartwarming" priceless
An d from Darwin too! Just too apt.
The guy (or is that Guy? Haha) is lucky to be alive but the report writing deserves a prize
Having removed a significant part of his posterior, this does lead to some interesting put-downs if he ever gets back to work (if indeed he has a job).
Poor workmanship can now be greeted quite legitimately with a cheery "well, that's a bit of a half-arsed job, isn't it?"
Laziness with "what's the matter? Could you not be arsed?"
Tomfoolery with "stop arsing about!"
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>the existence of this burns unit is heartwarming
So you worked where? - I can't quite make this out..
..Ok - the Australian Rocket Scorched Epidermis Centre for Really Awfully Cooked sKin..
Oh, Ok then thanks!
I imagine Darwin in Australia must need one of those more than other places.
Does anyone remember this? An early-90s variety show called Packing them In. Chris Lynham:
- Dances naked
- With a firework up his arse
- Singing "There's no business like show business"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBo7-YoVDEw [WARNING! NSFW! In fact, not safe for eyes - mod]
I've been thinking about the subject of "human spontaneous combustion", as described, for instance, in Dickens' Bleak House.
Admittedly that was fiction, and the guy was long pickled in gin, but notes to the book suggest that Dickens had heard of instances of the phenomenon "reliably attested to." And there are a number of other cases of anecdotal evidence pointing to the possibility that there have been genuine cases of this happening. So we come to:
Dunn's theory of the origin of spontaneous combustion
As is well known, breaking wind is often, even usually, accompanied by the release of methane - a highly combustible gas (British Gas makes its profits from burning methane) but there are often byproducts: hydrogen sulphide, various mercaptans, carbon disulphide (extremely low flash point) and other minor trace compounds fairly swamped by the amount of carbon dioxide produced in the gut by lactose fermenting organisms.
However, it has occurred to me that among these trace products there will be gases with a trivalent atom combined with three hydrogen atoms. Ammonia sprigs to mind, as does arsine (how well named!) from traces of arsenic in the food, and possibly phospine? The latter, as any third or fourth year pupil who studied chemistry in school pre 'elf'n'safety waffle put an end to actually demonstrating experiments in the lab, will take fire as soon as it is exposd to the air. If surrounded by a cloud of methane, this could result in quite a torch, which, with clothes in the immediate vicinity, getting a grip on the local fat content of the body and the cloth forming a wick, could possibility produce an actual instance of "spontaneous combustion."
I think the ico speaks for itself!
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