back to article Never mind Azure: They BROKE Twitter!

Twitter has been experiencing service wobbles for approximately half an hour, booting millions of users off the hyperactive short-form social network. The outage appears to be ongoing. An update to the Twitter Status page at 4.45pm UK time, 11:45am New York time read: Users may be experiencing issues accessing Twitter. Our …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    #twitternotworking is trending (or not)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oh no oh no

      Oh god, oh god, oh no, what am I to do, twitter stopped working....

      For an hour!

      Is the world is coming to an end!

      God replies,

      'Get a life you twat!'

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oh no oh no

        Reminds me. Which of the following is a fancy new Microsoft product. A. MetroTwerp, B. MetroTwat or C. MetroTwit.

  2. JakeyC

    Twitter is currently down for <%= reason %>.

    They even broke their error messages! I went to check and am currently getting:

    Twitter is currently down for <%= reason %>.

    We expect to be back in <%= deadline %>

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Paris Hilton

      This outage is also affecting my joke telling abilities....

      <%= joke beginning %>

      <%= joke punchline %>

      <%= reason for Paris %>

      B-Boom!

    2. JeevesMkII
      Trollface

      I think they're trying to say...

      Twitter is down due to excessive use of ASP.

  3. Tom 38 Silver badge

    I think outage can no longer the appropriate term when a social networking site goes down, such is the fury generated. Perhaps outrage is a better term?

    1. Eddy Ito
      Coat

      Shirley

      it's a social notworking site.

  4. bluest.one

    It's OK, it's just the Feds installing their backdoor monitoring equipment. Normal service will returned soon.

  5. Lord Voldemortgage

    I blame the Daily Mail

    Happened just as I was going to follow @UnSteveDorkland

    1. tgm

      Re: I blame the Daily Mail

      Same here!

  6. Big_Ted
    Paris Hilton

    What's this twitter thing your all on about ?

    Is it something those BBS sites I use ?

    Paris as its a dumb blond thing.....

    1. P. Lee
      Trollface

      Its IRC for server & load-balancer vendors.

  7. Aaron Em

    Twitter's down?

    Awesome! Maybe the addicts will get some actual work done for a change!

    (...he said, in the Register comments, squarely in the middle of the working day -- but he's eating his lunch at the same time, and better he should get barbecue sauce on his own laptop than on the machine his boss paid for...)

  8. Phil Endecott

    BBC

    This was #3 on the BBC New website a few minutes ago, after (1) Olympics (2) Natwest snafu.

    Rare to have two-out-of-three top headlines about tech glitches. Especially when there's no shortage of othe stuff happening in the world today.

    1. LinkOfHyrule
      Terminator

      Re: BBC

      It's part of the testing for world war 3.0 - they are just seeing how the public cope with the idea of social networking rationing!

      I cant wait for the government propaganda slogans...

      Loose tweets, sink fleets

      A stray like will down a flight

      Skype a stranger, put your country in danger

      And my personal fave - Check-in your location - and kill your whole family!

  9. Framitz

    No problem

    I'm fine with anything that breaks Twitter or Facebook.

    1. ItsNotMe
      Thumb Up

      Re: No problem

      Any way to make it PERMANENT...for them both?

  10. xperroni
    Coat

    Shooting Google+ in a barrel

    Actually I prefer Google+ to Twitter or even Facebook. I rather like its microblogging feature, even if it's a step down from Buzz.

    Besides, what do they say about dead horses?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

      One of the thngs they say about dead horses is that if you're bored or alone, you can open them up and climb inside for whatever gratification it gives you.

      Was that what you meant?

      1. Aaron Em

        Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

        She wasn't alone -- who do you think was taking the pictures?

    2. Code Monkey
      Trollface

      Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

      So how is working for Google, xperroni?

      1. xperroni
        FAIL

        Re: Shooting Google+ in a barrel

        So how is working [sic] for Google, xperroni?

        Why, I didn't know How is working for Google. Perhaps I should ask for a recommendation?

        By the way, what about your English classes? Not going very well, I gather?

  11. Jason Hindle Silver badge

    Bloody Typical

    I got an email from OneLouder saying they'd fixed a Facebook connectivity issue I'd reported to them and the whole sodding Twitter service fell on its arse as soon as I fired up TweetCaster. Maybe it was me wot caused it????

  12. Graham Marsden
    Pirate

    So...

    ... whom will this actually inconvenience...?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Graham Marsden

    Only the mindless numpties that spend most of their workday on it or facebook while the rest of us are actually working, the demographic makes up approximately 75% of the human race that has Internet access

    AC flameproof vest and helmet donned.

  14. Infi 1

    Our survey says ...

    Who gives a fuck?

    #getalife

  15. Spicy McMarsbar
    Paris Hilton

    I dunno why they called it Twitter - everyone knows that is the sensitive area between a womans twat and her shitter!!

    Paris, because....you know..

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