back to article Reg hack bumps into Cockfighter

It's Friday, so we need no excuse to bring you the slightly strange tale of how this hack unexpectedly bumped into Cockfighter in a Spanish petrol station. The cover of the Spanish DVD release of Cockfighter Years back, I wrote a piece about Monte Hellman's 1974 cockfighting flick, which had to be pulled from the Edinburgh …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This story would have ended sooooo differently...

    ... if it had been a Penny Arcade cartoon.

  2. Mister_C
    Pint

    What just happened there?

    I thought I'd have a look at my fave techie website to see if they'd picked up on today's Rasberry Pi video but it seems like I've stumbled into a film buff blog spiced with subtle references to "I'm sorry I haven't a clue".

    Ah, its Friday. Carry on.

    PS Eben just called your website simple. In a good way. As in loading / rendering.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: What just happened there?

      Ahem.

  3. Graham Bartlett

    Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

    Where does the chick with the long legs, well-formed breast and nice blonde plumage fit into the film?

    1. Peter Simpson 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

      check the cover text carefuly...it says "DRAMA"...she must be it.

    2. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

      I miss airbrushed (I do mean airbrushed, not photoshopped) movie posters of the '70s and '80s.

      National Lampoon's Vacation is a favourite, though it is taking the piss out of the medium.

      Check the image on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Lampoon's_Vacation

      Yeah.

      1. Fibbles

        Re: Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

        It's not airbrushed. It might be an oil painting but it's much more likely to be acrylic as it allows for a faster painting process.

      2. BlueGreen

        Re: Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

        > National Lampoon's Vacation

        I read that as National Lampoon's Vatican.

        I'd pay to watch that.

    3. Annihilator
      Coat

      Re: Having not seen this, the poster has made me curious...

      "Where does the chick with the long legs, well-formed breast and nice blonde plumage fit into the film?"

      I assume fighting one of the others as the title suggests...

  4. Dave Wray
    FAIL

    WTF?

    This is more and more like some random blog site by the day. It's pretty arrogant to think we give a shit about your movie taste, food taste, or just about anything other than technology. Youre a Journo, perspective.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: WTF?

      As they say around here, ODFO. It's pretty arrogant to think that El Reg has to deliver just the content you're interested in. I like the Journo with a capital "J", though. Makes me feel all important and stuff... As a qualified journo, though, I can tell you it's written "you're", FYI, acronym boy.

      1. Stoneshop

        Re: @Lester

        Quite agree. Although I wonder why there was no word on Facebook's decision to do a G+, and lock out all accounts whose names they decided were not real. And them subsequently being hauled over the coals by the Irish Data Protection Authority.

      2. Annihilator
        Facepalm

        Re: WTF?

        There are days when you miss the Moderatrix to point out the "bootnotes" relevance %sigh%

      3. Dave Wray

        Re: WTF?

        Did journo school "qualify" you as a film reviewer? As for the English lesson, have you seen the standard of proof reading on El Reg? Greenhouses and stones der boy.

        1. Mr Young
          Coat

          @Dave Wray

          "standard of proof reading on El Reg" - are you a sober genius or what? You should really try the Daily Mail if journo fail is your thing - hope that helps. OMG - I just admitted I've seen their website!

          1. Dave Wray
            Go

            Re: @Dave Wray

            Confused: Because something somewhere is worse we shouldn't criticse this?

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: WTF?

        I'd certainly much rather be informed and entertained by this article than by another 'climate change is balls, here are some numbers we mis-use to prove it' article...

    2. Aaron Em

      Re: WTF?

      Here's a thought: Get the fuck out, then!

      1. Dave Wray

        Re: WTF?

        One too many cocks in this fight.

    3. Mr Young
      Pint

      Re: WTF?

      I'm a tech for real and it can often really hurt your head all day long for weeks so a laugh at some random nonsense is required to (try) maintain my sanity actually!

    4. Ru
      Alert

      Bootnotes, motherfucker

      It isn't a new feature, and nor is the mockery of humourless arses who whine about it.

      1. Mr Young
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: Bootnotes, motherfucker

        I fear now - is their such a thing as a Bootnotes singularity and what sort of ruler would that be measured with?

    5. multipharious

      @Dave - Random blog?

      Clearly you ain't from around here Mister.

      The people train goes out of *snooort snooort* Stubbsville...

      This here is Bootnotes. Last post come out sideways.

      @Lester, I sure wish I could buy the team a cold beer or 10 for the weekend! Happy testing!

  5. Peter Simpson 1
    Stop

    Next week's headline

    Reg hack nabbed by Customs for trying to import illegal DVD

    (best rip it and upload it to your Dropbox now)

  6. SkippyBing

    Sorry but..

    'me and Special Projects Bureau volunteer José María Pita', really, you're going to print an article with that in? It should at least be 'Special Projects Bureau volunteer José María Pita and me'. I know standards are slipping but really...

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Sorry but..

      Well, me and the sub-editor say yes.

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Precedent

        If its good enough for Kris Kristofferson...

        [Me And Bobby Mcgee]

    2. The Indomitable Gall
      Joke

      Indeed, old bean....

      One must speak properly, mustn't one?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Oh, don't be a PITA

      Not even a José María Pita...

    4. Aaron Em

      *Accurate* grammar pedantry

      If you're going to play this game, please try to learn and follow the rules.

      Correct construction with a conjoined pronoun and noun in the subject of a sentence is "[the other person] and I"; in the predicate, it's "[the other person] and me". In either case, the conjoined nouns can be swapped without losing correctness; "I and [the other person]" is also correct in the subject, as is "me and [the other person]" in the predicate. The former is often awkward, the latter rather informal, but both are just as correct as the more commonly encountered forms.

      How can you tell if it's right or wrong? Remove the conjoined "other person" and see if it still sounds right. For example: Joe and I went to the game becomes I went to the game and remains grammatical, whereas Me and Joe went to the game becomes *Me went to the game, and does not. Similarly, They came along with me and Joe becomes They came along with me, which is correct, while They came along with Joe and I becomes *They came along with I, which is obviously not.

      Pronoun case in English: if you understand sentence structure, it is not as hard as it looks. (Bonus marks: write a sentence containing a correct use of 'whom'. Double bonus marks: explain why it's correct.)

  7. disgruntled yank

    Maybe they'll have the sequel?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kentucky_Fried_Movie

  8. Paceman

    "... and I." Surely?

    1. Darryl

      Don't call him Shirley

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Lester , I think you have been spending too much time with Jar Jar Binks

      "me was on a reccy in the nearby town of Béjar,"?

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Regarding the improbability ..."

    "Well, it may be that the chances [...]are a million-to-one..."

    That *explains* it, didn't you realize?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A new low for Lester

    What's your fun for next week? Badger baiting? dog fighting?

    I fail to see any entertainment in this

    1. Aaron Em

      Re: A new low for Lester

      Well, he did say it only lasted ten seconds, and everyone knows a cockfight doesn't really get good until one of 'em has brains leaking out a hole in its head.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Aaron Em

        You get an up vote for professional grade saddo baiting.

        1. Aaron Em

          Re: @Aaron Em

          Thank you very kindly, sir. We do aim to please.

      2. SparkPlug
        Coat

        Re: A new low for Lester

        There isn't such a thing.

      3. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Paris Hilton

        Re: A new low for Lester

        What!!!!! Lester's cock only lasted 10 seconds..... Indeed a new low for Mr Haines.

        Paris, do I have to explain why?

    2. Chris Parsons

      Re: A new low for Lester

      I agree. I am love El Reg's debunking outlook on life, but this is about nasty people revelling in animal cruelty. It is distressing that no-one else seems to find a problem with that.

      1. Aaron Em

        Re: A new low for Lester

        Don't you have a battery farm to be protesting or something? Believe it or not, everybody in the whole damn world doesn't care to behave like so many Boston Quakers -- nor should -- and if that truly bothers you, sir, I would strongly recommend you go to the effort of acquiring a slightly thicker skin, because expecting the whole world to satisfy your prejudices so far transcends mere hubris that I'm not even sure I know a word for it.

  11. MacroRodent
    Thumb Up

    Saw it at Sodankylä

    Monte Hellman was a guest at the Sodankylä film festival years ago (or rather decades) and at the time I was enough of a film buff to go there. This film was naturally in the programme, as were almost all other Monte Hellman films. I must admit I don't remember much of it, the round the clock filmathon + beer was taking its toll (at the time the festival is held, just before Midsummer, the sun never sets in Sodankylä, which lies in Lapland). I dimly recall the man himself claimed (in response to an audience question) that no cocks were actually killed during filming the fight scenes: The usual steels spurs attached to cocks were replaced by rubber ones.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We should be thankful ...

    he decided to write a nice article about a film extoling violence and animal abuse .. it could have been kiddy fiddling ...

    Seriously, theres a reason films like this are banned in the UK .. its because in general we find them distasteful and abhorent, along with the people who enjoy them ...

    1. Fibbles

      Re: We should be thankful ...

      If MacroRodent is correct and the cock fighting scenes were faked, how is this more abhorrent than gore-porn films like Saw which are regularly shown on mainstream television channels and depict horrific violence to humans?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: We should be thankful ...

        MacroRodent is wrong. Look it up, not all the the fights were mock-ups although it wasn't down to Hellman. The producer Roger Corman wasn't happy with the film if it didn't have real cockfighting so went out and did some extra filming of real fights and also put in extra blood. Hellman himself was repulsed by the sport.

      2. NogginTheNog
        Thumb Down

        Re: We should be thankful ...

        The abhorrent part is Lester's admission of going along to see a real cock fight, and placing bets on it. Congratulations Lester I'll be making sure I steer well clear of anything you write on here in future.

    2. Mephistro

      Re: We should be thankful ... (@ AC 22:17)

      " theres a reason films like this are banned in the UK .."

      AFAIK cock fighting and other similar forms of animal abuse are forbidden in all of the EU, but the UK is the only place I know of where watching a film depicting them is illegal. Now, following the reasoning used to ban this kind of films, and to be coherent, they'd have to ban also any film in which murder, burglary, theft, drug abuse or any other illegal activity is depicted.

      Summarizing: Your government treats you as if you were retarded, and you applaud. Great!

      1. Lamont Cranston

        Re: We should be thankful ... (@ AC 22:17)

        If the comments about Roger Corman making additions to the film are correct, then surely the film is banned because it features actual cockfighting (regardless of the director's intent)? OK, the original ban may have come about because cockfighting=naughty (much like we couldn't watch Bruce Lee waving nunchucks about), but I would imagine that the ban has remained in force because what's on display is reality, not fantasy.

        1. Mephistro

          Re: We should be thankful ... (@ Lamont Cranston )

          So, if the film includes documentary footage that includes real cockfighting, the film is illegal? And if said documentary footage is about a bank robbery? Prostitution? Drug abuse? No matter how you look at it, it doesn't make much sense.

          This kind of censorship stinks of contempt for the citizens, as most other kinds of censorship.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: We should be thankful ... (@ Lamont Cranston )

            By your logic why don't we just allow snuff movies?

            1. Martin Budden Silver badge
              Thumb Down

              Re: We should be thankful ... (@ Lamont Cranston )

              "By your logic why don't we just allow snuff movies?"

              This *is* a snuff movie, and therefore abhorrent.

          2. Lamont Cranston

            Re: We should be thankful ... (@ Lamont Cranston )

            Context is everything, Mephistro. The BBFC tend to take that into account.

            Of course, the film was put to the BBFC quite some time a go - who am I to say that they wouldn't pass it if it were resubmitted now?

            By the same token, all my Steven Seagal DVDs (don't judge me) have been cut to ribbons - they'd more than likely pass uncut, now, but there's not much money to be made in resubmitting them, so it's not going to happen. Less "oppresive state censorship" than the whims of the market, I'm afraid.

    3. Aaron Em

      Re: We should be thankful ...

      Say -- if everybody finds it so damn "distasteful and abhorrent", why'd Nanny BBFC feel the need to ban 'em? Surely, if no one wanted to see them, there'd be no need...

  13. DanceMan

    Whiners

    The Reg needs a Sam the Eagle icon.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worth a read

    The Imdb page linked from Lester's original piece has a fantastic summary of the film: "But Frank has to raise some money for a new cock".

    They don't make 'em like that any more :)

    1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
      Coat

      Re: Worth a read

      John Wayne Bobbit may have some advice about how to raise money for that

  15. Robert E A Harvey
    Unhappy

    Dissapointed

    When I saw the headline I thought you had done something interesting, Like met Mr Oates in the garage.

    Just buying a z-ist dodgy video isn't much of a space filler

  16. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Coat

    Cockfighting?

    Is that two blokes whacking each other with their stiffies?

    1. paulf
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Cockfighting?

      Cock Fighting TV Go Home style:

      http://www.tvgohome.com/300499.html

      [May contain excessive traces of Charlie Brooker]

      Paris, because of big cocks of course!

    2. Mr Young
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Cockfighting?

      Or a couple of Lesbians fighting over my dick?

      1. Aaron Em

        Re: Cockfighting?

        Why two? Tweezers in one hand, magnifier in the other.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Playing it straight like Leslie Nielsen

    "Frank's long-time girlfriend Mary Elizabeth wants him to get serious and settle down. But Frank has to raise some money for a new cock - $500 - then he can form a partnership with fellow cocksman Omar Baradansky"

    OMGOMG bawls with laughter

  18. Caerdydd_Mike

    Since News at 10 have canned them ...

    ... ... can El Reg not start an "And Finally" section?

  19. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Coffee/keyboard

    You owe me a keyboard

    Fo bringing a new meaning to Sam Peckinpah's "Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia" in an article about cock-fighting..

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old topic

    But does anyone else find it ironic the "goog guys" talking about how evil cockfights are, seem to be hiding as ACs, while the "bad guys" who are telling them to man up aren't?

    Just me?

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge

      Re: Old topic

      Well here I am saying cockfights are evil and I'm not hiding my identity.

      p.s. I notice you are a/c yourself.

  21. Martin Budden Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    I'm shocked

    I'm shocked that anyone can enjoy, and pay to watch, animals being tortured to death. Lester, you should be ashamed.

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